Why I still stick with my girlfriend

Why I still stick with my girlfriend

I premise this is more a quick thought rather than a "proper" myTake, so it won't take long.

Recently it has been a rough period with my girlfriend, a bit because of my work issues and a bit for her jealousy and clingyness.

Many people here rightly suggest to break up, and it's something I admit I considered doing, but I just can't do that. First, she's too content with this, and it wouldn't be right for me to take this away from her. She had an incredibly hard life and I love her, and she deserves to find happiness. Second, I wouldn't be capable of loving and being loved by another woman who's not her.

Why I still stick with my girlfriend

I have already refused other women for her because while they seemed to be better fits or were more attractive, they weren't her.
I can't see myself with anyone else - a woman can be intelligent, beautiful, a good fit for me and I can be a good fit for her, but if she's not her she's automatically rejected and I can't bring myself to develope romantic feelings for her - it'd be useless so I wouldn't even try, and it'd be dishonest to lead on false hopes. That's what I told them. I take extra work and projects not only for my career, but also to amass money for our future. The future for her. Anyone else is excluded from this equation. If I break up with her, so I'll do with what I'm building. It's for her and no else, if she'll not get it then I'll happily burn the money I amassed, all the work I did and the future projects - they'd have no more value to me.

Why I still stick with my girlfriend

Because she's the one for me.

When she's not screaming or being jealous, or hitting me, she's genuinely kind and thoughtful.
She takes the time to listen to me and reassure me when I'm worried or stressed.
She's really sweet and can be really caring and it's obvious she really wants to take care of others and be taken care of.
For example, like she's being right now - making coffee, asking about how the night went and idly chatting, while I'm writing this.

Probably the mistake is mine for being too permissive, or sharing too much on here.

Maybe I'll get more assertive, stop sharing so much here, or quit this site entirely, I don't know.

Thank you for reading

Why I still stick with my girlfriend
36
27
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • devilman666

    Jesus dude, you really need to get your priorities straightened out, you can't focus you life on other peoples desires.

    "Shes too content with this" how do you feel about it though?

    "It wouldn't be right for me to take this away from her" bullshit, you are under no obligation to make her happy. By that logic none of my exs should have been allowed to break up with me, yet my last ex cheated on me after she found out I had been sexually abused as a child, abandoned by my father, cheated on multiple times before, and depressed/suicidal through most of my chilhood. Now I realize she was just doing what it took to make herself happy, she was confused and feeling alone. Regardless my point is that you owe this woman nothing, and you certainly dont owe her enough to sacrifice your own happiness. I think a lot of men are taught to put their partner before themselves, this needs to stop, we need to rise up and value ourselves.

    "She had an incredinly hard life"I think I already made my past clear enough.

    "She deserves to find happiness" true, so do you. Why should you sacrifice your happiness for hers? How is that fair?

    "I wouldn't be capable of loving and being loved by another woman who's not her" bullshit. Simply bullshit and you know it.

    10 likes
    • "When she's not screaming or yelling or hitting me." Break uo now! She does not love you. She is abusive and using you because she feels like she deserves to hurt other people to make herself happy. The fact that she is sweet when she is not abusive doesn't change anything. Imagine if this was reversed, wouldn't you feel guilty? What would you do if you realized you had just punched your girlfriend out of anger?

    • "she takes time to listen to me and reassure me" that is simply something friends are supposed do for each other, you shouldn't need to go to your girlfriend to get reassurance.

    • Oh, I remember you, I didn't see the asker at first lol. Yeah, tbh I think you should break up, your relationship always seems abusive to me. I know what it's like to think you deserve abuse or that you should just accept it to try and help someone else, but the truth is, you shouldn't. No one deserves to be abused. You deserve better, regardless of her past she has to change herself and she won't do that if you give her everything.

      So I think that maybe you need to learn to love yourself, because from my experience that was what caused me to give in to abusive behaviour. You need to love yourself, because if these is any person we deserve love from its ourselves.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • CubsterShura

    I like how you are the person that isn't influenced by the cancel/dump culture of dumping anyone that doesn't appeal to you 100%, 100% of the time. Many couples go through rough moments but they get through it if they work on it.

    I'm a little concerned on how you're trying to imply that you will throw your entire life away if she wasn't there though. I did this in past for an ex and I regret it till this date. It hurts a lot when your loved one is no more a part of your life, let's hope that you never go through this you sound really kind, but don't hurt yourself even more either if something ever happens, god forbid.

    2 likes
    • Thank you for your kind words and compliments, I wholeheartedly appreciate them!

      I don't want to give up on her.
      I want for her to get help and be happy and with peace of mind.
      She's costantly agitated about something, her mood swings drain us both.
      I'm taking extra shifts and dealing with hazardous substances to make more money and ensure a serene future to both.

    • Then make sure both of your are really working on getting it better. Maybe try couple counseling?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

What Girls & Guys Said

3526
  • Don’t quit

    7 likes
  • Do not listen to anyone else. Follow your heart!

    2 likes
  • englisc

    This is bad man.

    "First, she's too content with this, and it wouldn't be right for me to take this away from her. She had an incredibly hard life and I love her, and she deserves to find happiness."

    So have you, and so do you. You have a tendency to put others before yourself, even to your own detriment. Having a bad past is never an excuse for shitty behaviour.

    "Second, I wouldn't be capable of loving and being loved by another woman who's not her."

    You don't know that. You only think this because she's your first ever girlfriend, and before meeting her you had some heavy anxiety issues. This as I suspected it might has made you become co-dependent, and this isn't healthy at all.

    "When she's not screaming or being jealous, or hitting me, she's genuinely kind and thoughtful."

    This is why it's unhealthy. Most people would leave in these instances, which is why people are always telling you this. But you're co-dependent and you think there's no way you could find anyone else, so you're clinging on to her.

    This is what happens in most abusive relationships. I've heard the same story multiple times, from different people. You make excuses for their abusive behaviour by emphasising the good points, and again you cling on because it's your first relationship. However, you should take the advice of people who've been where you're at when they say that you're wrong and your judgement is clouded.

    "If I break up with her, so I'll do with what I'm building. It's for her and no else, if she'll not get it then I'll happily burn the money I amassed, all the work I did and the future projects - they'd have no more value to me."

    This is also why it's unhealthy. You should want to do those things for yourself, with or without her. You matter. The trouble is you've been taught otherwise, to defer to everyone else. It's the source of most of your problems.

    "Maybe I'll get more assertive, stop sharing so much here, or quit this site entirely, I don't know."

    Quit? Stop sharing? Think about all the help you've gotten from here already. The only reason you'd want to quit is because you don't like what you're hearing, but it's the truth. So you'd be hiding from the truth. People aren't saying these things to you to be assholes, they say it to help you. Most people here think you're a great guy, and they hate to see you be treated like that and even worse justifying it.

    Your girlfriend before mentioned "toxic people" and "vetting who you talk to". That's another abusive tactic. Maybe you're beginning to believe that here. Yet, who is more likely to be toxic? Someone who belittles you and hits you, or someone who tells you that you shouldn't stay with someone who belittles you and hits you? Think about it.

    10 likes
    • I know, but I'm definitely airing too much dirty laundry on this site - it's not respectful for her.

    • Is her hitting you respectful? Why the hell do you jold yourself to a higher standard than you hold her?

    • Also, no it is not disrespectful, it is you protecting yourself. It can only be disrespectful if she thinks respect means you putting her needs above your own (that is not what respect means).

    • Show All
  • SueShe

    Life is a game of give and take. Sometimes you give more but many other times you take even more than what you give.

    I would say that you could see it as a "double entendre", a double meaning.

    If everything would be rosy in life, it would be dull. Everyone needs a little challenge here and there. The problem is when the challenge takes over the pleasure, it makes you realize that you have perhaps taken a wrong turn.

    I admire the courage of character not to give up, not to "throw the sponge" and think that I deserve better. It shows that even if life throws stones at you, you can still get around them.

    You are doing what I preach but personally find so difficult to do in a case like that. And that is to communicate and not to give up. Everyone deserves a second chance. Your girlfriend probably stretched it to her 5th. chance and still you don't give up what you built up for a common future.

    Not many people would say "let's give her another chance, maybe I did something wrong this time".

    You prove that even though life seems not to be fair with you in your relation, you don't want to give up and that is the spirit that I find is missing, mainly here on GAG where many seem to be so selfish and give up at the slightest obstacle.

    You deserve my applause and my hat off for that. I know I would have given up a long time ago.

    5 likes
    • Thank you for your kind words and compliments, I wholeheartedly appreciate them!

      I don't want to give up on her.
      I want for her to get help and be happy and with peace of mind.
      She's costantly agitated about something, her mood swings drain us both.
      I'm taking extra shifts and dealing with hazardous substances to make more money and ensure a serene future to both.

    • SueShe

      To seek for help must come from her and she must also realize and acknowledge that there is an issue and want to be helped. Forcing help on her will only lead to put up a wall around her and talking will just be so much more difficult.

      I know that you have another party to consider in this complex problem but I am not aware to what extend this party can or does influence this situation.

      I know of a couple that was in a similar (bilateral) situation as yours and the help was practically imposed on the one person. That, in turn, resulted in a situation where one felt accused and the other one taking advantage. The therapy was interrupted because both persons did not go on their free will to seek for help.

      I wish for you to find rest and peace with yourself and your fiancée/girlfriend. A situation like yours will only lead to you being totally drained and possibly putting your life at stake because you are dealing with dangerous goods where the slightest mistake can have dramatic consequences.

  • Clo917

    'When she's not screaming or being jealous, or hitting me, she's genuinely kind and thoughtful.'

    I don't say this to offend (hopefully) but that's how abusers work. They'll abuse, and then be kind to draw you back in. Of course it's your life, but do know that behavior isn't normal or healthy in a relationship. Sure, she's content but your own well-being is important here too.

    10 likes
  • lightbulb27

    I hope you work it out and she is lucky to have you. I don't like what I read, I'm sorry. As someone once said... love is a battlefield. How long can you fight. If kids show up, the stress is multiplied. You might readup on borderline personality and see if that is what you are dealing with... or why she is so "triggered". Yo've noted the obvious one... she is clingy so if you are gone, she reacts.

    How would you like it if someone you "loved" poked you with a needle every day, not for good, just because... and maybe it was random. What you can tolerate of a little prick would turn into torture eventually. That's how she feels regarding your leaving, for right or wrong. Her response to that... we don't know, but it won't be good.

    Reality is, your girlfriend has some issues and needs to address them. Failure to do that means suffering ahread, I see no way around that unless you are Jesus Christ himself. Thing is, I'll bet a lot of cash she doesn't see it nor does she want to deal with it. Lots of Therapy. I know of a group just launching that helps people to deal with it, it's a group therapy, that might help. Whatever is done, do something... don't just sit hoping. that is not a plan.

    1 likes
    • I really love her and want to try everything before throwing in the towel.
      I recognize she's emotionally unstable.
      I'm trying to make her see a counselor or a therapist, but she's really reticent about it.
      This is one of the few things my sister is supporting me ony because her mood swings are really drastic and freaked her out too.
      We are slowly convincing her, but it's not sure. I'm also concerned she's always at home.
      She says she's on vacation from her job but I don't know what to think.
      I want for her to get help and be happy and with peace of mind.
      She's costantly agitated about something, her mood swings drain us both.

    • that's good, the right thing to do. You know why she is doing this... on the surface anyways. She's experienced trauma, the turtle is going further into her shell. your leaving is triggering her, but could be other things as well.

      One of the hardest of roles... you take on a sick person and want them better, but they have to want it. She has to face the terrors held inside her... who wants to face that all again? So she runs to whatever else she can find to make her feel good. sex, drugs, cling. It's a scared child.

      if she resists therapy, then next best is a support group. Something like "Grief share", trauma recovery. I just launched one of these groups that explains and deals with this junk, it's based upon God, Christian. That might help, but limited availability so far as requires a lot of setup.

      Inside is a little child that just wanted to be loved by mom and dad. That is what needs healed.

      I could probably explain most of what goign on, but ideally she needs counselor in front of her. The reward for her, for facing her fears, is there is a person, a spirit in there that will grow and live once she is free of the fear and shame and guilt and whatever else was heaped upon her.

  • Ellie-V

    Aww 🥰 honey, that’s just what being in love is about. Fuck everyone else. They’re probably just mad because their keyboards aren’t practical sex toys no matter how hard they try to make it so 😂 no relationship is perfect. Everyone goes through their rough patches. Life is never easy. In fact, it’s hard as shit. At least you’ve found someone who’s worth the trouble.

    5 likes
    • I really want to try everything before throwing in the towel.
      She's a lovely if misunderstood and troubled woman, I want to do my best to give her happiness.

    • Kas19

      Uh, no. She is abusive. I went through my fair share of abusive relationships, which is why I can confidently say, get out.

    • @Kas19 Even if it's abusive, I think it's my right to make it work, or it isn't?

    • Show All
  • I really don't know how to respond to someone who's life with another person is etched in stone, at 21 not having any wiggle room in a relationship that's okay at best to me is being foolish.
    You have every right to be happy in a relationship, not some of the time most of the time.
    Why anyone with thoughts of possibly ending the relationship, would in the next sentence say there is no way I'd ever end this relationship.

    Good luck!

    2 likes
  • anaxangeldj

    So there's a lot of people Who answered and I'm gonna bother reading all your replies but I hope you will take into consideration what I'm going to say.

    1) What you write or say can sometimes sound more violent/dramatic than what's actually happening. On the net, we won't truly know how bad a situation is unless we read your words.

    2) You are an idiot for saying that you will destroy your money if she dont care. GET OVER IT QUICKLY! You two have two separate lives. IF you love each other then learn how to be more mature so you don't become dependent on one another and suck each other energy out cause that my friend will make you two break up. You are a team sure. Be yourself and have some self respect

    3) Your past life will make you what you are but you have the possibility to change as well as her. So either go to a couple therapy or see one separately.

    4) You are negative and you will only have negative vibration around and with her.

    5) It's not by posting your shit online that it will solve your problems. Talk to each other, set boundaries with her and stick to it.

    Sure you love one another but once you have kids if it happens and you haven't sorted your shit out then it will just break and make innocent people miserable. I know what I'm talking about.

    To love is a beautiful thing but to make shift something that is ill-fated takes Love, Energy, Patience and TIME! Both of you need to work on it at the same length.

    Dont just start telling your problems instead of making it work with her. Say your expectations, wish, wants. it's about the both of you.

    3 likes
    • This is one of the few posts here with actual advice, and I wholeheartedly appreciate it.
      We just had the first encounter with a therapist yesterday.
      I had my hand forced in finally pushing us to therapy because there have been some developments that convinced me that we both and especially her needed immediate help - she had picked up again some self destructive habits we had struggled against last year, so I had to act.

    • Kakella

      I agree with everything she said.
      It's no use for you to complain about everything and when the time comes, you either let her have her way or begrudgingly agree to her terms.
      A person, especially a woman, feels that.
      She feels that for you it's a weight to do things with her, cuddle her, make love to her
      I'm afraid she picked back those "bad habits" also for this reason.

    • Kakella

      And do away with that oneitis too.
      If you two break up, you will do yourself a disservice in not considering OTHER women, especially to that one woman that's waiting for someone just like YOU.

  • VaIiant

    This is going to be an unpopular opinion, but:
    Dude, you seem SO unhappy. Nowhere in this post did you claim otherwise. All you post now is about leaving her, and if she's bad, and even on other peoples questions you diss your own relationship. And if she's hitting you and manipulating you, you have good reason to.

    16 likes
    • bloodys2

      Too late he already said he's quitting gag stay with her

    • bloodys2

      *to stay

    • It's pretty common when people in horrible relationships only ask advice because they're looking for people to tell them to stay in it, rather than the truth and when people give them the truth they ignore it and/or get upset and start arguing against them. He'd probably already made his mind up before orginally asking what to do. The situation is clearly abuse to anyone who can see it from the outside but for some people they just have to learn the hard way to think before just letting their feelings make all their decisions for them.

    • Show All
  • GraveDoll

    Just my two cents, experiences and nothing more. You seem to have made your decision. I see clearly. And I have never been the type to try to change anyone's mind. I work with people and broken people daily and let me tell you humans are just creatures of habit.

    My last relationship was very much like this. It worse 4 years of my life.

    At the end of the day, just remember you didn't make her life hard. You were just born. The day I left that relationship was me realizing a battle I knew I will never win. We can't fix people. That a journey that we must do on our own always. Sometimes "hope" can cost heavy. The signs are clear. and yet we ignored or rationalize it to death. Did you know it rationales that is mankind downfall? sometimes when two people stay together it out of a need or should I say hunger of each other self-needs. your relationship exists but that’s all it does or can lead to.

    I hate giving up. But there is limited. All humans have them. And all humans have boundaries. Why do people automatically assume you are giving up. If someone constantly walks over your boundaries. What is one to do?

    Sometimes we get so stuck on an "idea" that things will get better. soon... rinse repeat. And your right life can get better the problem is that person may not be part of the equations.

    I rough my four-year relationship out of that same "not giving up on him". In honest, I now know I shortchanged myself. I caused a lot of damage to my character because I no longer view relationships the same. I have PTSD from that relationship in the worse way lol.

    fast forward two years later and I have rebuilt my whole self as a person. It still will be a long time before I give anyone my heart and love ever again. In reality, I dont think I will be as blindly logically every again. This is the aftermath of a toxic relationship because of the never giving up a motto I use to live and would die by. Well, I did die in some sense and it wasn't worth it.

    So good luck and I do hope that she does improve or both can. Look no relationship is perfect this much is true and can not be denied. Either way, I know "you" are doing and You seem good with your choices here. So I will and shall focus on that.

    3 likes
  • midnightmoon05

    She is really lucky to have you. That you see her as a real person who has negative/postivie feelings and accepts/loves her.
    There are many dynamics to go through life.
    Couples who Know, work through changes/challenges together will see good results.

    Thank you for sharing with us.

    6 likes
  • So know I understand. You used this website as a form to vent over your girlfriend. I sincerly hope you also asked her your question and are open to share it with her. Of course you love her and don't want to break up that is perfectly fine. It's just my personal opinion but you should not put your partner in a negative light to the public just because you are angry, disappointed or annoyed. Just a Tip for next time.

    2 likes
    • You are perfectly right.
      I'm definitely airing too much dirty laundry on this site - it's not respectful for her.
      If I don't quit the site, I'll definitely share much less personal stuff.

    • Yes that would be best. Of course you can post questions about your relationship here but don’t drag her. Make sure you don't get in Trouble if she ever reads your questions.

  • Melshmallow046

    "When she's not screaming or being jealous, or hitting me, she's genuinely kind and thoughtful."

    It's your decision and other people can't tell you what to do, but I wish you could see this from the viewpoint of people whose judgment isn't affected by emotions. If you treated her the way she treats you, would you want her to stay with you?

    Feeling like she's the only woman you can love is valid. But since you're currently committed to her, you shouldn't be falling for others, that would come some time after a breakup... Look at people who remarried after their first spouce died. During the first marriage, most likely wouldn't have said they couldn't imagine falling for anyone else, yet they're truly in love with the second person they married. It's not so much an issue of you being unable to find anyone else, but that this relationship is detrimental to your own well being and the pain that would come from a breakup would be worth it in the long run. Even if you have to get rid of the money you've saved.

    Best of luck, I hope things work out for you.

    2 likes
  • Jemini_Crocket

    Follow your heart but have a sense of reason! No matter how much you love them or they claim to love you, hitting is NEVER a normal thing.

    2 likes
  • SexyAshh

    Fyi i can't tag on this crappy app on my phone but check gag community! Someone posted about you i think,... again

    1 likes
    • Sad people who have nothing to do in my opinion!
      Thanks for telling me.

    • SexyAshh

      Lol i dont get why people take the time. Appears you have fans on here as well, take it as a compliment🤷‍♀️🙈😂

    • SexyAshh

      And sure thing👍

    • Show All
  • Kas19

    @Ellie-V He literally wrote "When she's not screaming or being jealous, or hitting me" That's abuse. Sure, people go through arguments in relationships, but abuse is different.

    7 likes
  • NightFlirt

    They say love is blind, and that the heart wants what the heart wants. Here is a bit of simple poetry you should quote to her on your next anniversary, her birthday or Valentine's day (whichever comes first):
    Love is all I need, and whom I love I love indeed
    I love thee, thee, thee

  • GuidoThePizzaMaker

    Damn thats beautiful. I hope she can fix some her behavioral problems, I understand you love her and you are doing the right thing but, it might take a toll on you in the long-term.

    Anyways, God Bless, and I wish you two all the best

    1 likes
  • MecheD

    Hey bro, fact is you have a normal woman aside from the hitting you stay with her because you seek the accomplishment of fixing and making her life better than it was so you endure which will only grow to be a bad thing because as the days go by you tally up so much resentment not only for her but for you as well it’s best to revisit this at a later date and focus on you or risk it all by sticking it through

  • FragileSnowflake

    If it means improving your relationship and making your life a happier place, I suggest quitting the website, even thought I and many people like you being here.

    But I just think your happiness is more important :)

    2 likes
  • Anastacis

    Did you just say "hitting"?
    I think that's a problem. Seek professional consultation. In a healthy relationship, partners don't do this to each other.

    3 likes
  • I saw multiple red flags as I read this. It’s great that you have such a big heart but you need to take a second to think about yourself. She should NOT be hitting you and that’s more than enough reason for you to leave right away (and I suggest you do). You also shouldn’t be staying with her just because she’s content with the way things are going. If YOU are also not content with the way things are going then you two either need to find a way to solve the problem or end things because your relationship should always be a two way street.

    3 likes
  • Piteka5

    If you manage to get trough the rough times you'll be able to build something greater. Out of the original fire of passion true love appears and that, needs work and commitment.
    But, from both sides

    1 likes
  • Wishfire17

    Only you know what is best for you. If you could not be happier or more in love with someone else, who am I to say otherwise? I don't know you and I don't know her. The problem with the other posters is that they don't understand, people dont post when things are good, most only post when things are doing bad, so that they can get advice. Most people only see the bad side when this happens. They don't see the girl who sits up with you at night when you are sick, they don't see the laughter and the silly things you do together. This is why I try not to judge based on peoples posts here, unless something is very wrong.

    1 likes
  • fulfilling

    there are three things you shouldn't do in life, quit on her, quit this site, and quit sharing because you never know who's going to find it useful. cheers brother, keep keeping her she's a keeper.

  • winterfox10

    Love, the only emotion that is a reason unto itself. I would say good luck, but it seems like you and her are attached, so there is no need for luck.

    1 likes
  • Kazzza

    Don’t get it what’s the point of this mytake, you already said you don’t want to break up with her isn’t that all you need to say

    1 likes
    • Would you say that to a woman who said her boyfriend hit her?

    • Kazzza

      No I’d say you need to get therapy but if she still says no what more can I do

  • She probably just likes you so much, that she wants to always be around you, which is cute. Maybe you should be more like she wants you to be.

    1 likes
  • AJollyOlTime

    You said she's hitting you. That's abuse. You seem a bit brainwashed

    5 likes
  • Liam_Hayden

    Here are my thoughts:

    1. "she deserves to find happiness." Yes, but not at your expense.

    2. "Second, I wouldn't be capable of loving and being loved by another woman who's not her." You are suffering from a clear addiction, a case of "One-itis." You have been programmed by society and perhaps family to believe this. There are over 3.5 billion women on the planet. The idea that "only this one will make me happy" is quite frankly nonsensical.

    3. If she gets violent with you, it will probably end in your leaving her, your death, or your arrest when you finally respond.

    Leave. There are millions of normal, rational, non-violent women out there. Don't settle for an abusive one.

    3 likes
  • collegerules

    Do what makes you happy, your happiness comes first

    1 likes
  • Ultimate_Gohan

    Being too obsessed someone is not what they call a stable relationship

    1 likes
  • RainbowSmile

    Sounds like you are in love with her.

    One thing to help when girls seem jealous, is to make them feel extra beautiful and spend quality time with them (not on your phone) rub their back or make small gestures to let her know how much she means to you. If can get yourself in a habit to do this- I bet she will grow out of her jealousy issues in time

    With that said- IF you guys break up (not saying you should) it will take time and it will hurt but eventually you will find another special lady you feel comfortable with and want to share your life with.

  • Samhanks

    It's good to have others opinion on this site ! It is for you to decide whether to accept or reject opinions, Ups and down do come in everyone's life, thats Life :) She too may be a victim of mood swings. Yes, she deserves Happiness. Handle her carefully with love and affection and tell her frankly why you are doing extra work. Make her feel important by telling her you're doing it for US, both of us which will benefit both of you in the time to come, Sensibly thinking for the future and career is good thing !

    1 likes
  • MedievalDestiny

    All throughout this post, you speak of what she needs and what makes her happy. When are you going to ask the question of what makes you happy? It's obviously a toxic situation that is building and building and out of contentment, not out of a pure foundation built for stability.

    I hope you realize you don't need to change to be happy and that the happiness comes from acceptance of another person. Love should be easy. Not full of "maybe"s and "someday"s. Obviously you don't have to listen to anyone's advice, but for your sake, my friend, I hope you realize your own worth and stop sacrificing your happiness for hers.

    She doesn't deserve your charity if she doesn't appreciate you for you. She's disqualified herself.

    That being said, please be well. I hope you realize these things for yourself, even if you never read these words on here.

  • es20490446e

    If you supposedly have chosen well your partner, why quitting now?

  • themomo84

    I think you like it and it's your reality. More power to u.

  • monkeynutts

    Stick to your guns and work it out, she must be a great girl.

  • PopeGregoryIX

    This sounds like my marriage, minus the hitting. I stayed. We had kids who are my world, but I'm now going through a divorce mostly because I couldn't face being unhappy for the rest of my life, which I would have been if I stayed. I'm now working F/T, I'm full time carer for my children and life is crazy, but I'm glad to finally (after 15 years of marriage) be out if that unhealthy relationship. Wish I'd done it years ago but never considered it.

    If there's ever the possibility of kids in future, I'd strongly encourage you to get out *before* that happens.

    Also just remember your happiness matters as much as hers. I realised that even if I never find anyone else I'd be happier in no relationship than in that one.

    Good luck with your decision.

  • ChronicThinker

    You had me until you said she hits you.

    2 likes
  • Pink2000

    Me n u are in the same boat buddy.

    3 likes
    • you definitely want to get some help... read my post... I've seen people who stay in these long term. It can work, but it's a tough road, know what you are getting into.

    • so you boyfriend screams and hit you?

    • Pink2000

      @EuropeanChick nope. But that’s none of your business anyways.

    • Show All
  • MannMitAntworten

    Best of luck.

    1 likes
  • bolverk

    No problems, I don't have a GF/SO.

  • Secretgardenblood

    Nice take

  • Clarke498

    Lucky guy! Keep doing it ;)

  • Did she cheat on you or something?

    • bloodys2

      From what he wrote she either beat or stabbed him

  • fulloflife

    I will love you even if...

  • CT_CD

    That's beautiful. She hits you out of love

  • Anonymous

    I bet you had to hit her up first.

Loading...
Loading...