Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Don't Alienate With Assumptions...

Brainsbeforebeauty
Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

This Mytake is about the many double standards I see both genders seem to be guilty of, the bias based off hatred, and false, inaccurate assumptions.....

Disclaimer: While I'll try to keep it from both the male and female spectrum, if there seems to be more examples from males, it's not meant as man bashing, it's the fact that:

  • I'm a female and I personally deal with/see more bias and assumptions from male users because for the most part I try to stay away from posts that are meant to gender bash whether it's from a female or male poster, but doesn't stop people from trying to do so on MY POSTS or MY REPLIES....

Whether this is really an issue in real life, or just on GAG, I'm not sure. But even if it's just on here, to me that's an issue. This is meant to be a site for men and women to be able to get advice from one another, learn from one another so we can better understand one another. When I said this to another user, his reply was:

"BBB you're right this is a site is supposed to be a place where girls can ask guys questions and give honest answers. Not the other way around. It took me a while to figure out why it's girls ask guys. It's because you'll never get an honest answer out of a woman whwreas a relationship is concerned."

But, actually:

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Which leads us into the first issue:

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Double Standards:

Time and again, I've seen some men on here say the issue they have with feminism is that feminists are sexist and portray all men as bad. That men don't want to be falsely labeled, judged. And I agree they shouldn't be... Yet then, you can't turn around and do the same to women. Sexism has to stop from both sides in order to really resolve the issues (same as in racism)

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Other than the obvious double standard of slut (F) vs stud (M), other double standards I see:

*If a woman gets played, used or cheated on by a man "she likes the bad boys" if a man gets played, used or cheated on by a woman "all women are evil"

If someone plays, uses, or cheats on someone they are the bad person. And as smart as we think we are, we are all capable of being fooled by someone, but it easier to blame a whole gender than admit to that apparently...

*The shaming people by height, body weight .. One gender has an issue with the other doing it to them, yet turn around and do the same thing

This "women don't like the nice guy they just want the attractive male" yet men can say they don't want a fat girlfriend or that she has to be attractive, but what if she's really a nice girl πŸ€”πŸ€”

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

*Women don't want to be lumped as all the same, yet some women on here, do the same to men....

If you don't want to be attacked just for disagreeing with a male's point of view then don't resort to calling men simps, Incel, gay, etc. just for disagreeing with yours.....

*Men-don't say women just use men for their money and then turn around and say women are only good for sex and nothing else.(because then AREN'T YOU just using women for sex πŸ€”)

*Women- don't accuse ALL men of using you for sex and then turn around and say men should pay for everything, must have a fancy car, etc. ( because then AREN'T YOU just using men for their money πŸ€”)

Noone, male or female should use someone with little to no regard to that person's feelings.... And just because someone may have used or hurt you in the past, it's no excuse/justification to turn around and do that to someone else....

There is way more double standards, these are just a few of the many I see on a daily on here, but to simplify, treat others the way YOU want to be treated, regardless of their gender.

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

The second issue is:

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Bias:

Bias, being prejudiced, hating on someone because of their gender is just as wrong as when it's done because of race.... Which is just yet another double standard when people that have an issue with being judged by their skin color (all races do this) turn around and judge someone, hate on someone purely by their gender ...

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Some examples of gender bias/prejudice I've seen on here:

"No, but you will be anyway. You are female which means your core is that of a hypocrite."(male user)

"I guarantee they were only with you because they wanted dick.

None of them married you, did they?"(male user actually saying this to another male user who wasn't agreeing with men just because they're men)

"All women lie, cheat, and steal. They have ho concept of the immorality of any of this and are often proud of it."(obviously a male user) really dude πŸ™„

"Men cheat cause they crave variety, you can be a man’s personal porn star and fuck him 30 times a day and he will still cheat on you if he can, cause they’re all as faithful as their options"(Female user)

"Because "men are trash""(female user)-okay, this one here... No, not all men are trash, my husband certainly wasn't,... But there's definitely PEOPLE that are trash, but that can be male or female

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

"Most men exit their prime by 35. Biologically women are not attracted to white hairs or sagging skin or weight gain or erectile dysfunction"(female user)

This last example is not only a bias, but leads us into the next issue....

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Assumption:

To assume that ALL men or ALL women act, think, behave alike or want the same exact thing just because they're the same gender is ridiculous....

Too many times people give answers based on assumptions or generalizations instead of fact or THEIR OWN personal experience. And using other users replies as proof of fact (especially when those replies are coming from people with an obvious gender bias) does not make it truth...

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Some stupid asshat assumptions :

*All men are incapable of being faithful

*All men think about nothing but sex 24/7πŸ™„

*All white men have small penises, All black men have big penises

*All women hate sex but only put up with it to trap men πŸ™„

*All women are really bi -sexual

**All women can't think logically or are overly emotional

Bashing, trashing, and throwing false accusations at one another won't work to solve any issues, it will just cause further divide... It takes real conversation, ACTUALLY LISTENING to one another, understanding, respect and compassion for one another regardless of gender...

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

Every human regardless of race, sexual orientation, religion, or gender should have the same equal rights. Feelings for a person should be based on their own personal behavior, not by the behavior of their whole race or gender....

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Dont Alienate With Assumptions...

And please remember, it's not wrong to want, express or fight for equality, but it is wrong when you do so by taking those rights from others....

Thank you for reading πŸ’œπŸ™πŸΌ

"Brainsbeforebeauty"😘

Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Don't Alienate With Assumptions...
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Kaazsz
    I feel that some double standards are justified. And I don't think the answer to the "sexism" is for both sides to stop. The answer is the same as the answer for racism. Scientific evidence. The science proves we're all the same race. And it seems to me, that the science proves that men and women approach sex dating and love in very different ways. But hey, maybe I'm wrong. I'm not a sexist, but there are things that i believe that no woman has provided a good counter argument.

    Ok double standard number 1, slut vs stud. In my opinon, us men are only upset about women being sluts, because we know very well that a woman is a slut, ONLY for the studs. If women were sluts for everyone we'd probably be pretty happy. A guy is a stud, because for a man it automatically means you must be special, to have the attention of so many women. But women automatically have the attention of most men, even ugly fat disgusting smelly women have plenty of male attention. You can say it's a double standard, but the experiences of men and women in terms of sex are polar opposites. And men know very well that most men CANNOT be studs. Wheras all women can easily be sluts. It hurts us men to know when a woman is a slut, because we know that humans are basically animals. Women are sluts for the alpha male, and the rest of us are just betas, who, in the animal kingdom would never have sex, never reproduce, and die virgins. That's why the double standard exists. Because it's not fair for men whatsoever. If we're not a stud, we struggle and suffer to find a girl to want us. And girls don't seem to think that's the case. Girls seem to think all men are these studs running around trying to fuck. We aren't. That's only a very small minority of men. If a man is slightly below average, he might as well die a virgin. If a woman is a hideous obese disgusting smelly beast, she's guaranteed to have 5 kids from 5 differen't baby daddies.

    Does the double standard not make sense? Is my perspective simply incorrect? Am I just wrong about it all, and men and women have equal sex across the board, there are no differences between us? It's not a double standard in my opinion. It's simply a logical conclusion.

    Us guys, we don't want sluts because we know we are your second choice. That's how i see it, I don't know what other guys would say. If you're a slut, and you were out there fucking tons of guys. We know you were hoping and wishing one of those studs you were fucking would have fallen in love with you and settled down only for you. We know you, the women, want the studs. That's why a stud is a stud. Because he's the guy at the top all the women want, and we the rest of the men know that you want him and not us.

    And then, after you had your fun, having sex with tons of men, you decide to settle down. You can't settle with the stud, because he is a stud. He won't settle. He's gonna keep fucking differen't women, you can't tie him down no matter how much you love him.

    And so we know you're only settling for your second choice. Us, the beta males you ignored, and suddenly you want us after you have been used up. And we didn't get to have any fun. The beta males have to wait until they are 30+ to have fun. And we want to have fun with sexy young girls, not used up sluts that all of the studs already ran through.

    Am I a sexist? Am I refusing to bridge the gap of understanding between men and women? I don't think so. This is what i believe, this is reality as i see it.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Kaazsz

      All of that said, my counter argument to myself is, that not all girls are out there being sluts. Many girls choose not to be sluts. Or many girls are shamed by society so much, that they are afraid to be sluts.

      I think most guys wish they could have the sexy beautiful women, and we are mad that all the sexy beautiful girls are fucking the studs. But also, the ugly girls and the fat girls are also fucking the studs. But even still, that percentage of the female population is smaller than the whole.

      So it may just be, that the beautiful people do a whole lot of fucking, and the rest of us are just jealous. Except the slutty average and ugly girls, who do exist. For men, it's only the studs. It's only the guys at the top who get to have their fun. ALL women can have their fun if they so choose.

      So while based on population and sexual activity, I think not nearly all women are sluts, many guys do not want to be with a slut because he knows how they get down. He knows he's her second choice. If a girl is a slut I think its 100% legit to turn her down and refuse to date her.

      When a man is a stud, it doesn't matter. I've seen it in real life. All the girls know he fucked every other girl. And all the girls can't wait until it's her turn. I know tons of girls and I know them well. It's like the best kept secret. That girls know which guys are the studs, they know which other girls he fucked, and they all can't wait to be next in line. You can't pull the wool over my eyes or act like I don't know. Because I do know. I've seen it over and over and over. I've heard girls talking in their little secret female cloisters. Women hide this shit from us because y'all don't want the majority of men to know the truth. That the majorty of us are just beta males that you don't want at all, and only settle for when you're used up.

    • Kaazsz

      And so men have every right to judge and avoid slutty women. Because we know we are not your first choice. We know you are only begrudgingly settling for the beta male provider, and you're going to treat us like shit when we're married because we know that's what women do. They hate their non alpha, non stud husband and they treat him like shit until he dies early cuz he's tired of your shit lol.

      And some of you women are good and you don't think a guy needs to be mr alpha superstar. And those women are the ones who deserve good men.

    • While I appreciate you made your points without getting rude, I still disagree... My husband want what anyone would label a stud, but he was MY STUD, he wasn't rich or what others might of labeled handsome but he was decent honest hard working great father great man and didn't prescribe to this gender bullshit, don't blame women of you can't find or keep a woman cuz what woman would want to be with a man that thinks that Negatively about all women... It's not about being a stud, it's about being respectful

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    Great take! I agree with most everything you've said. You WILL however get some pretty significant pushback in a few areas. Starting with this one:

    "Sexism has to stop from both sides in order to really resolve the issues (same as in racism)"

    Problem is there's a disturbing trend where an increasing number of people do NOT share your view in quotes above. It's become MOST explicit with race. There's a notion out there that ONLY white people can be racist and that it's NOT POSSIBLE for black people to have racists opinions with regards to white people. This is sometimes justified with a "power" dynamic. The argument goes that it's only an "ism" (racism or sexism) if the "powerful" group has a view on the less powerful group and not the other way around. I personally think that this view of the world is racist or sexist straight-up, but it's out there and people need to push back against it HARD.

    In the middle part of the take you get into all the annoying whining people on here do when they get dumped. MAN, is that annoying! But the biggest problem that I see isn't the use of double standards--it's that people aren't taking ownership of THEIR RESPONSIBILITY for what went wrong. "But I didn't do ANYTHING wrong! I was taking advantage of!" I can hear the whining already! "But, but, but. . . you're VICTIM BLAMING!" *facepalm* STFU people! The point is to try to LEARN something so that you don't have the SAME FUCKING THING happen to you again. That could be changing the way you behave, but just as importantly it could be to try to find the SIGNS that you missed so that next time you can make a BETTER CHOICE of a partner!

    Fully agree with your take on assumptions at the end. I see WAY too many bad assumptions on here!

    GREAT take!
    Is this still revelant?
    • πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘I agree πŸ’― on your racism points... And all your other points as well! I couldn't state all the issues it this would of at the least been a series of mytakes, if not a book πŸ™„ lol I also agree too many can't accept their own blame, which I did touch in briefly, that's part of the bias, easier to say all females or men are bad instead of what you yourself could do different... Whether it's race, gender, relationships, etc... It takes working together, not against...
      But, great, great answer!!πŸ’œπŸ™‚

    • Anonymous

      Thanks for most helpful!

Most Helpful Girls

  • gothwillow
    Great MyTake! It's well-written and has good examples. Also love the editing!
    Respect for the Audre Lorde quote!

    "To assume that ALL men or ALL women act, think, behave alike or want the same exact thing just because they're the same gender is ridiculous...

    Too many times people give answers based on assumptions or generalizations instead of fact or THEIR OWN personal experience. And using other users replies as proof of fact (especially when those replies are coming from people with an obvious gender bias) does not make it truth..."

    I wish I could send this to a certain influencer on this site that ask generic questions and reproduces the same old cliches and tropes about gender roles.
    Each individual is different, unique, and complex. Not all black men think the same, not all women like bad boys.. People aren't just memes.
    I wish all people learned to understand and listen to each other and embrace our differences as individuals xx
    Is this still revelant?
    • "Each individual is different, unique, and complex. Not all black men think the same, not all women like bad boys.. People aren't just memes.
      I wish all people learned to understand and listen to each other and embrace our differences as individuals xx"...
      Very well said yourself!!! Great answer
      And there's a lot of people on here both male and female that are guilty of that bs negative gender stereotyping...

  • Anonymous
    In my opinion society as a whole should accept women and men of all body types not criticise or make a meme of them because they don’t fit in β€œsociety’s beauty standards”. Society should also accept women whether they have no body hair or have lots of body hair (which they don’t and I find it unfair for other women who were born hairy and can’t do anything about it). Social media is toxic for both women and men, that’s why both men and women had unrealistic expectations of how a man should have six packs, muscular. And how women should have a flat stomach, big boobs, large ass, sharp nose, thick lips, double eye lids, no body hair etc. I wish social media didn’t exist that way we can accept people for being different. I hate it when social media exists
    Is this still revelant?
    • I agree... Life can be hard, we should do what we can to get through it together, not Alienate one another through bias, hatred and unrealistic expectations we try to hold others to that don't even meet themselves

    • AlphaGhost

      Nope having six packs or being fit is not gona kill you and its not responsible for multiple life threatening disorders but being FAT/Western Fat is fucking medical disorder and shouldn't be normalised.
      I am not saying woman should be in perfect child bearing figure (I am not that kind of crazy) but there are certain Medical/scientific issues that should be kept out of general public hands cuz stuffing yourself to death is DISEASE according to Modern and historical science.

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What Girls & Guys Said

849
  • bamesjond0069
    This is the most immature feminist me me me rant I've seen in awhile. It can all be summed up in how @Brainsbeforebeauty describes the double standards of sluts and studs.

    Men think women who sleep around are sluts. Women think men who sleep around are studs. Instead of accepting the genders differences, and instead of slut shaming men and refusing to treat them well in order to align the sexes and remove the double standard, what y'all actually do is bitch and moan and nag at men to simply agree with you.

    How about no. How about you agree with us if you hate double standards so much? Valid question. I expect answers.

    All those hot rich guys that get lots of girls... block them, call them a skank and tell them to fuck off, dont give them your phone numbers... only date very innocent or better yet virginal men, how does that sound? Then there would be no more double standard.

    Except y'all are horrified to force yourself to not be into hot rich attractive men... and gasp forced to find virgins the hottest... surprise... were just as horrified to be with a damn slut.

    So, like most women, you are just being manipulative bringing up this tired ass double standard shit. It takes two sexes to create a double standard. You are just as responsible for it. y'all choose not to hold men accountable. Thats your problem.
    • First off, I DID SAY both men and women are guilty of double standards did I not?
      Second, thank you for proving my point about asshat assumptions by saying ALL females go after Rick men cuz that's pure bullshit!! you could be a millionaire and I wouldn't fuck you with my worst enemy's vagina cuz you're ride and sexist!! I kept this take about both genders that do this but your whole answer is directed just at females, and then you're also trying to personally attack me... Either learn how to have an actual discussion like an adult or I'll just block you cuz I'm really tired of dealing with your negativity and the fact you can't even act like a civil adult...

    • *rich
      *Rude

    • Oh and also, it's other men that excuse men sleeping around like sluts...
      And I'm damn sure no feminist nor was anything in this post... And don't quite get how saying treat people the way you would like to be treated and both genders should treat each other with respect and understanding could be described as me me me but, okay πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

    • Show All
  • JoJoiLL
    Very well written and worthy post.

    I feel like a lot of the time, people make prejudiced or biased comments due to laziness rather than genuine opinion. I think we're all susceptible to reacting, based on stereotypes and labels at times because those are the most readily available thought constructs that help us navigate social interactions on a day to day basis.

    But we should try to do better. I think the written word offers the best possible opportunity for this, since we take more time to write than speak, it offers more time spent thinking about our words and whether they truly reflect our thoughts and feelings. Also our written words last longer and have the potential to influence more people for longer so we have an additional responsibility.

    I loved the quotes you have include on this post, one in particular meant a lot to me personally:

    "It is time that we all see gender as a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals"

    Can I ask who this quote was made by?
    • Well said! I try to individually base my views about a person by the way they present themselves, because if go by stereotypes and labels, there's the potential of missing out on what could be a good person, great friend etc. and to also weed out those that wouldn't want as such. I hate these gender biases because people are using them to hate on one another and attack one another. And there's already too much hate and divide in the world today...

    • JoJoiLL



      I agree with you - intentional or unintentional gender bias creates a barrier to friendship and love.

      But whether a Bias is formed from laziness / ignorance or hate, we have the power to influence a change in perspective through practicing and encouraging gender neutrality in our writing and everyday interactions.

    • I agree!!

  • Massageman
    Great piece. When does the book come out? (That's a compliment, not sarcasm!) :- )

    I still have problems with "gender" being a "spectrum" or a continuum.
    God made the male and then God made the female. He didn't make them 93% male-ish/7% female-ish and 96% female-ish and 4% male-ish- or whatever- respectively.

    Think of it this way: God gives both man and woman specializations- both in a physical and spiritual sense- but not with the intent to box up our roles, but to give us a framework for what matters most to Him: partnership. Just as God partners with us and partners with Himself in the form of a Triune being complete and fully functioning, God desires for the same for men and women in the context of society and in family.

    Men are great at something and women are great at another thing, but it doesn't always have to be that way. At the end of the day, what matters is that we work with one another to carry out God's will and purpose for our lives no matter what our roles may be at work, in marriage, in church or in any other community for that matter.
    • Great answer!! I'll put my book out when you put yours out.. Also a compliment not insult... But then your answers are usually always on point!!πŸ’œπŸ™‚

    • Massageman

      I've done two, but not on philosophical stuff: they are very focused guidebooks - and I did them ages ago. One on graphics, and the other on Aromatherapy.

    • Really? That's awesome!

  • Lliam
    I want to give you a hug and a high five for this one, bbb. I couldn't agree more. Stereotyping is... ignorant.
    Some people lock themselves in cages of their own making and then blame others for being locked up.
    People project their own feelings on others.

    People should open their minds and listen to others. They might learn something.
    • I could give you the same.. Because once again... Very well said!!πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—
      Especially the:
      "Some people lock themselves in cages of their own making and then blame others for being locked up."...
      Couldn't agree more!

    • Lliam

      Thank you my wise friend.

    • Thank you friend πŸ€—

  • KingdomForAKiss
    Very well said @Brainsbeforebeauty. If only more people were willing to listen, willing to learn, and open to understanding instead of allowing their pain or anger to lead them through these assumptions. While there is a small amount of validity (without which stereotypes wouldn't exist), it doesn't equate to the sum of all men or women.
  • zeitgeist057
    Excellent take, but my fear is that it falls on deaf ears. I hope that maybe at least one person will read this and possibly shift there negative stereotyping and perspective a little bit.
    But I have a few quotes of my own that I have found to be true through the years: β€œYou can’t tell someone something they don’t already know.β€œβ€œHaters gonna hate.”
    • β€œYou can’t tell someone something they don’t already know.β€œβ€œHaters gonna hate.”
      Very true!
      And, yeah I know it wouldn't accomplish much, but at least it helps weed out the people that are on the same page from the sexist asshats, cuz I don't deal with sexist asshats whether they be male or female, I keep it even Steven lol there's too many real issues in life that should be addressed, these gender issues that don't really need to be an issue gets tiring.. I'm too old for the nonsense lol

  • Simplismilez
    Great mytake.. I see this all the time too. I really try not to generalize men and I try to go based off the individuals actions but when I don't understand something usually coming on here and asking for advice makes me regret it. I don't believe all men are bad and have ulterior motives but most answers I get are that. I don't know anymore.
    • Don't let GAG do that... This is supposed to be a site where you should be able to do that, that's what it's meant to be... But there's too many that are so caught up in their own self hatred, pathetic lives, that the only way they can feel better is to hate in or put others down, but it only works if you let it... There's also some good people on here like @Lliam @ Cynicaldreamer @OlderAndWiser to name a few if you want good honest advice

    • @Brainsbeforebeauty I appreciate your kind words!

  • CubsterShura
    How coincidental that I discovered a video of a woman smoking in public and being screamed at and asked to leave. In our country, it is considered terrible for a girl to smoke whereas it is normal for men but women can consume tobacco in other ways. I find it so stupid... we all have lungs and if women can consume tobacco in other ways then what makes cigarette any different... stupid people!
  • jgibsonian1986
    A double standard isn't hateful by design. If your a mother you likely hold double standards against your oldest and youngest, because you have different expectations for them. Double standards aren't the issue, it's hateful people.
    • I agree, except the kid thing, both mind are adults, and I would hold em both to the same standard at this point and time

  • JackSmy
    I can't disagree with almost everything you said.
    But, being raised, and growing up, in this REALITY that is, and I AGREE, Biased, and abusive, sexist, and even racist, how can those people, MALE OR FEMALE, see the difference, with what they have been taught? THEY MEAN NO OFFENSE, but only know what they grew up with!

    I respect women, and I assume that they are AT LEAST, my EQUAL, but so rarely, do any accept that, and BE THAT EQUAL!!
    But how do WE DECIDE, WHAT IS "EQUALITY"?

    Tell me when I am misunderstanding, and being sexist, because I might not even REALIZE!! I NEVER intend it, but with the ideas, now, even breathing the same air, might get me in TROUBLE!! LOL!! So sad, and pathetic!!
    Someone posted that saying, "You look beautiful" to a woman, might be considered 'SEXIST'!

    When does simply saying "Hello" or "Good Morning" become 'sexist' if someone thinks that his "tone" is offensive? Where does it end?
    What if she just casually hugs a close male friend, in the office, because he helped her with something, or on his birthday, or anniversary with the company? Is that "sexual abuse" if he didn't expect, or want that?
  • SunnySri
    That was very well written, mam.
    And the most important thing to understand is that whether whichever gender or race or anyother differentiation there is, we all are living beings (not humans living beings including animals, birds and plants), we all need eachother to survive and move forward, so if we can't be grateful to others at least we should not treat them badly.
    Some people are not good to us but we should never generalise it to criticise everyone of that kind.
    • Thank you πŸ’œπŸ™‚ and very well said! And I agree ,πŸ’― with you!! Differences don't give anyone a right to treat someone like crap all while saying others treat you like crap... Which is just another double standard see on the daily.

    • SunnySri

      That is absolutely right mam.
      I mean if someone did something wrong to someone and they generalise it too everyone then those who are willing to help will also back away and not help, when they need it.

    • Again very well said!!!

    • Show All
  • Jjpayne
    All of what you have said here is gold. I know however, that I hold bias within myself... I try to be good but I'm not always perfect unfortunately when it comes to this... all I can do is hope to catch myself when I've made a mistake
  • TonyMetal___86
    That was long miss brains muffins!
    Anyways today is Monday, it's the muffin's day, i want my MUFFINS 😋🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁🧁

    Nice take, even though you know the way i am and i can never change 😌

    I think the best way is for people to respect each other choices and no matter how much they argue, keep it respectful 😊

    Devoted housewives were, still and will always be real QUEENS 👸🏻
    • "I think the best way is for people to respect each other choices and no matter how much they argue, keep it respectful "
      With that I agree... And it's so cold in here, maybe I should make muffins or least cookies to warm the house πŸ₯ΆπŸ₯Ά

    • Yes miss brains, start making my cookies and muffins and you will receive kisses on your forehead 😊

      Is the heater still ain't working?

      Miss brains is cold, come to your king miss brains, my home is warm and miss brains muffins will always be warm with the king 😁

      I don't want miss brains to feel cold, she is a very sweet lady, imagine a housewife cold in her house!

      A man must provide warmth in his house for his girl and family so he gets extra muffins ☻

    • Hopefully it'll be fixed today! Getting space heaters as back up just in case

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  • Lionman95
    I really like that one, because I think it´s true. We guys do have double standards we don´t want to admit.
    • Thanks πŸ™‚
      And Women do too. I think people period need to stop trying to hold people to standards they don't adhere to themselves...

    • Lionman95

      Yes thatΒ΄s true, online dating made things worse because now everybody feels entitled to people who seeem to look even better and everybody just wants the best.

    • Right! Social media has destroyed a lot of things in my opinion

  • User2300
    I think at the core , we are all bias. Stereotypes doesn't come out of thin air. We as humans observe actions and pattern of behavior in others based on gender , age , race , nationality etc... and make a judgement. This Isn't always right , but it isn't always wrong either.

    However, people who think that stereotypes are written in stone are idiots.
    • "However, people who think that stereotypes are written in stone are idiots."
      With that I agree...

  • The_Inquisitor
    As long as the stupid and unhinged are given a voice peace between any groups can never exist.

    The idea of equality among genders is the same as equality amongst people. It can only work if both sides have a firm understanding to what that means.

    If a guy is expected to pay for a girls dinner thats not equality, If a girl works less than a man but gets paid the same thats not equality either.

    from what I have seen women who fight for "equality" in the usa don't want the bad parts that come with it.
    A man is expected to never hit a women even if she is hitting him in public (Double standard) With true equality a man will without hesitation beat the shit out of a women assaulting him.

    This comes to equality of physiques which isn't a thing. Men on average are bigger and have more muscle mass making us stronger.

    Not putting women down when saying this but its true! we are filled with testosterone much more than any given female, thus we grow physically different.

    So the perfect example of equality would be if a girl and guy go out on a date and both pay for their meals, both do courteous things such as holding the door for each other. Both respect each others boundaries, both go to their work where they are paid the correct amount of Money based on their daily work. <- this is a pipe dream because as someone who works as a domestic trucker I see the inequality in play.

    On average I see at least 2 groups a day 1 male and 1 female unload my truck, I almost always see the female lift and carry less than the male who lifts and carries almost twice that of her.
    At the same time she is paid the same as him though she is not working as fast or productively as he is. He is being paid far less than she is at that point because he is doing more work for the same amount while she is putting in more effort to do less work but get the same pay.
  • Bluemax
    Very well put. Here's hoping your audience listens.

    I do have to comment critically on one thing."This "women don't like the nice guy they just want the attractive male" yet men can say they don't want a fat girlfriend or that she has to be attractive, but what if she's really a nice girl"

    I believe that men and women can pick whom they want to date, and NO ONE should be criticized for refusing to date someone because of their appearance. There are evolutionary reasons why we find people physically attractive. It certainly isn't fair, and it's the cause of much hurt and pain (and I feel for those people... I really do because my brother and I have held them in our arms as they were sobbing). Even if the person being rejected is sweet, kind, wonderful, intelligent, and a host of other positive qualities but there is no chance that the rejector could *ever* find that person physically attractive, then they should be able to reject without criticism of how shallow they are. It's not shallow, it's the way humans are made. And for those who say, "It is shallow, but we're all shallow," I respond by saying if everyone is shallow, then NO ONE is shallow.

    Now here's the biggest double standard which you never mentioned. It has nothing to do with gender, because I've seen it in all genders equally.
    • Bluemax

      For the purposes of this conversation, "attractive" is defined as people who the majority of humans find physically attractive, and "unattractive" is defined as people who the majority of humans find physically unattractive. (Honestly, I can't believe I have to define that as it should be obvious, but it seems I've had to in times past and it tries my patience)

      When an attractive person rejects someone because they find that person physically unattractive, *for the most part* it's seen as common sense. He/She can be with someone more attractive, so why wouldn't they? True, some people criticize them (often the people being rejected) harshly. But *for the most part*, disinterested third parties don't.

    • Bluemax

      However, when an unattractive person rejects someone because they find that person physically unattractive, he/she is *MUCH* more likely to be called a hypocrite. He/she is *much* more likely to be lectured about how they need to look past all that and focus on other things. He/she is *much* more likely to be lectured about how looks aren't everything (if that were the case, why aren't we lecturing attractive people the same way?). This stupidly assumes that the rejector *hasn't* looked past appearance, or that he/she *hasn't* attempted to focus on other things. This assumes the rejector doesn't know that looks aren't everything (which of course they're not... but let's not pretend that they're nothing)

    • Bluemax

      BBB, my friends, and whoever else is reading this, the EXACT SAME FORCES OF EVOLUTION work for EVERYONE. Attractive people generally want to enjoy having sex with their partner, and for most of us this means finding that partner physically attractive. But the double standard is when people assume unattractive people somehow don't want to enjoy sex with their partner as much as you and I do. They assume that somehow the same forces of evolution that have worked their magic for 3 million years (half a billion if you count the evolution of sex itself) are somehow *not* at work for the unattractive. That they will somehow *not* feel the same revulsion that the rest of us feel at being physically intimate with someone they find unappealing.

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  • Citizenkirk
    There was a time, about six millennia ago or so, when assumptions saved lives, like---Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Don't Alienate With Assumptions...Today's society isn't that situation anymore--Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Don't Alienate With Assumptions...
  • Liam_Hayden
    Yup. I just deal with it by judging people as individuals. There are cool people and jackasses everywhere. That's why some of my favorite people on here disagree with me most of the time and some of my least favorite agree with me most of the time.
  • Zeus_66
    You think about people first. Not their gender, skin color, political view, etc. That's what makes you a good person.

    Nice piece.
    • Thank you!
      "think about people first. Not their gender, skin color, political view, etc." exactly that is exactly where we ALL need to be! Thank you Sir (salutes πŸ™‚)

  • cth96190
    I react to females the way that I do as a result of what I have experienced and observed.
    If a dog is kicked often enough, he/she learns to stay away from the source of the kicks.
    When every female I have approached has either rejected me (often in unpleasant ways), used me, played me, or broken my heart, how would you expect me to react to females?
    After three workplace false allegations of sexual harassment, how would you expect me to react to women?
    I will not get into an elevator if there is a woman in it.
    After losing two jobs because of accusations of wrongthink and the respective females organising Feminist cancel mobs, how would you expect me to react to being in the proximity of women while I am working?
    One of the allegations of wrongthink happened because a female came on to me and was outraged when I told her that I was not interested because I could not take a 65 per cent risk (she had been divorced once previously) of losing a house.
    In both men and women, there are hard wired behaviours and character traits that are expressed in all individuals to varying degrees. Those behaviours and character traits are the result of millions of years of natural selection.
    • But everybody has those stories. I was advised as a child, had a physically abusive first husband, I've had guys try to use for sex but yeah I'm blonde not stupid... I still don't use that to say all men are bad... And my second husband was a good man

  • White_King2000
    This post is very biased and hypocritical as it a post about double standards that apply only to double standards men may hold. In fact you are holding men to a different standard than you are women.
    1 "
    If a woman gets played, used or cheated on by a man "she likes the bad boys" if a man gets played, used or cheated on by a woman "all women are evil"". If she doesn't learn and continues to date the same kind of guys this is generally true. I have a male friend who dates narcissistic bunny boilers repeatedly and I can honestly say he's into crazy bitches. 2. Women generally don't want a fat or chubby guy and usually have a preference for taller guys. Women even average looking are less likely to settle for an average looking guy compared to men. 3. Women seemingly no matter how successful they personally are rarely settle for a man who makes less than them, its a major reason so many successful single money struggle to find a partner because unlike men they are often unwilling to lower thae bar. This is likely a biological thing to do with a womens nesting instinct and a need for the man to be a provider. 5. I could go on all day but if you dont want to sound like a hypocrite while talking about bias and double standards towards women maybe don't single out single out men and launch a sexist rant.Ditch The Double Standards.. Be Gone With Bias... Don't Alienate With Assumptions...
    • Reread I called out both sexes... So don't even try to go there!! I'm not no sexist feminist.. but funny it's some sexist men calling ALL WOMEN sexist where I KNOW All men ain't like that... But thanks for proving my point πŸ™‚πŸ‘

    • Well you proved their point

    • No I didn't... Apparently you didn't read... The examples I have weren't my examples... They were all examples of things said and read on here, guess you didn't get that 🀣 cuz I'm not sexist, I just don't like hypocrites anymore than sexist idiots, male or female

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  • PBandJ_Nerd
    Can I just say that as a person who never really heard such things (such as guys saying women are like old cars or women saying men only want sex and everything else) that it has messed up my brain a bit. I sometimes think I should've never known this stuff, but then if I didn't then I wouldn't realize that modern dating got even worse. People are being toxic. And some people don't want to be friends with the opposite sex, only date them. I find that a huge problem since being friends teaches you so many things.
    • I mostly see it on here, I've only once ever met someone IRL that was so toxic and negative towards Females and yeah couldn't be friends with someone like him. Anymore than I'd be friends with a female that was that toxic negative towards men..
      So it's it really a problem IRL or on here πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ
      But the more it happens on social media the more it will spill out into the real world and real relationships with so many impressionable young people that user the internet and the ones that think because it's online, it MUST be true

  • virtue2332
    I agree there are a lot of double standards and a fair amount of trolling done on this site. As a man I'll be the first to admit that I'm embarrassed when I read some of the comments made on the guys side. I'm sure some of them are meant sarcastically or for a laugh. I mean I hope we are more evolved than that and can't possibly truly believe some of that. For the most part just don't engage or respond in any way to those people. Block them if you have to. There are some of us that believe in forums like this because it allows for people to get different perspectives and points in view so we can evolve and open our minds to new concepts and ideas and Ideals. In basic terms we do not exist without one another and half of our existence is not more or less important than the other.
  • guesswhoseback
    You shouldn’t use Emma Watson for any quotes. She’s very privileged and has zero idea what it’s like to be an average man or woman.
    • For me it was more about the message than who said it... πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ And I believe BOTH genders should be free from gender stereotypes !!

    • In a perfect world yes. But that will never happen.

      How about just acknowledging that your gender has some privileges, the other gender has some privileges and just do your best not to exploit what you have and also recognize what the other gender does not have?

      Marches, hashtags, progressiveness, etc will never supersede DNA. It’s much more complicated.

    • Umm isn't that what I was saying in this Mytake? Did you even read it?
      "just do your best not to exploit what you have and also recognize what the other gender does not have?
      πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

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  • devilman666
    The double standards go both ways, this is because of traditional views. Traditionally men were rugged, manly, and hard working, and women were beautiful, delicate, and innocent. So we view ugly and masculine women the same way we treat weak girly men. This is even worse for men in my opinion because modern dating says women are allowed to expect traditional men but if a man says he wants a traditional wife, in any capacity, he is labelled a sexist. We live in an age where men are told to allow women to be whatever they individually want, and simultaneously women tell men to become whatever women, as a collective, want. You daughter wants to be a prostitute? You better be supportive! Your son wants to become a nurse? He gets told "how the hell can you expect to find a wife and start a family like that?" I don't disagree with feminism but I see lots of things changing for women, yet men are still expected to be providers.
    • I'm not a feminist! This post is meant to say people need to stop holding people to standards they themselves don't. And I know it comes from BOTH... Men and women, but people period need to just stop... Noone should be telling others who or what they should be based on their gender, what people like in a partner or don't like.. is it really feminism that's the issue? Our is it that too many people these days spend so much time on social media telling others what's acceptable or not, instead of just living, worrying bout themselves and their own lives πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

    • Sorry, I'm not going to lie I didn't read the whole thing, just thought I'd leave my general thoughts on the topic, I think we mostly agree and I wasn't upset, just explaining my thoughts and understanding.

      I don't think feminism is the issue, I think society, and in part feminists (not just them, just pointing out that they are part of the problem too), is the issue. It will take time to get past tradition, many cling to it, even young people, even feminists, I've met so many feminists who tell me they want a manly man, a man who provides for them and makes them feel safe, they want a traditional man who makes more money than they do, but they want to be free to choose whether or not to be traditional. So on one hand they want 0 expectations for themselves and on the other they expect a traditional man who will fit all of their criteria. Either let people be who they want and stop expecting a man who makes more money than you, or else stfu and let men expect women to be housewives. That's my big thing, tbh idec which way you go, personally I want freedom for all but if you say, "I want traditionalism for both genders", that works for me too, just anything besides the hypocrisy.

      The reason why I emphasize feminists so much with this is because they seem to lead the charge in equality... or at least they think they do... yet they only champion problems that effect women... and sometimes maybe they champion the problems of gays, but usually just women. If we want an equal society than we need to work on equality for all sides, you can focus on one group and call it equality.

    • can't focus on one group and call it equality*

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  • captain_voidwalker
    Actualy the concept of a Stud is rather new. In the old days a man who slept around was called a fillanderer and was often either hung from a tree of on the business end of a shotgun.
    • And in some countries women are still dealt with that way, sometimes just for not being a virgin

  • Avicenna
    I think part of it is that those who are loudest online are the most dissatisfied.
  • FatherJack
    A decent & balanced take , and true. I have had many a negative experience with women & the marriage I ended was a nightmare , but I made what turned out to be bad choices. " But there's definitely PEOPLE that are trash, but that can be male or female " ... Yes !! And too friggin' many !! No bitterness towards women ( I have daughters ) , I have chosen to remain single , as have little need for people , prefer to keep self to self , and even if I wanted to date , I cannot compete in the sausage fest ultra male heavy " dating market " as I am a single dad. With FT work , own ventures & parenting , on top of a self improvement quest, I'm fully committed as it is.
    • I hear yah... Although my kids are grown, I need lots of self improving

  • Not_Average
    Men and women are biologically different, and therefore fit in different societal roles and have different expectation. Everything you've posted is a result of our biology including sleeping around. Men and women have equal rights, but we are not identical. It's not a matter of superiority or inferiority, but rather accepting our differences and letting these differences complement each other.
  • AndrewMG
    Idiots are idiots to be fair but even as a man I have to admit my gender can be f*cking D! ckheads at time! My personal bugbear is that every "International Womens Day (8th March)" a bunch of male dickheads send tweets asking why there isn't an "International Mens day"... the irony is that there is one..(It's November 19th by the way). but these bellend's rather than take 5 seconds to google something spend twice the time sending an ill informed hate filled tweets somehow pretending they are the victims... F*cking idiots!
    • And as a woman, I have to admit some women can be fucking retarded 🀣
      And isn't that the point call out the dickhead and retards, male and female, but don't hate on all for the actions of some... It would be stupid for me to hate you just for your gender, then I'd have one less friend...πŸ’œπŸ™‚

    • AndrewMG

      @Brainsbeforebeauty Exactly mate, (I mean technically I'm a bit of a Dickhead...((would a non-dickhead mix milk with lager? but lets face it I try to be a nice Dickhead lol))... I get on with you because you're a nice lass (potentially a dickhead but a nice lass all the same!! lol). But in all seriousness I make friends on the back of whether I feel someone is a good person, making assumptions whether that is based on gender/sexuality/race etc reflects more on me than the person I'm attempting to befriend.

    • Aye me Dick mean duck 🀣🀣🀣

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  • hahahmm
    So you want to be treated like a man when it benefits you & to be treated like a woman when that benefits you. Us men don't have that luxury. If a woman falsely accuses us of rape we most likely lose our job, get put on the sex offender's registry and go to prison for 8-10 years. Even if she admits to lying about all of it she won't be punished. If a man says a woman raped him he's laughed at. To the point where men don't even bother reporting being drugged and raped.

    And no, if you're shaped like a man and/or hairy you aren't beautiful. You're repulsive to straight men. It's not our fault if you women find a guy who looks like Santa Claus attractive. We don't care. That's your choice. Respect ours.
    • "So you want to be treated like a man when it benefits you & to be treated like a woman when that benefits you. "
      No, just wanted to be treated like a person period!!!
      "And no, if you're shaped like a man and/or hairy you aren't beautiful. You're repulsive to straight men. It's not our fault if you women find a guy who looks like Santa Claus attractive. "
      You missed the point there lololol
      The point was if women go by a man's looks, she's labeled shallow but it's okay for men to go by women's looks
      Don't hate on all women of women don't find you attractive type of thing πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ
      Did you even read the whole thing... Doesn't seem like you did... Or poor comprehension skills πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ or too caught up in your bias to admit that this was about both women and men being biased and stereotyping and assuming negatively about the other... But you're obviously too caught up in hatred, to get that

  • _no_one_
    Couldn't agree more.
    Such middle grounds are needed a lot.
    • Thanks and I agree. . None of us are perfect, we all have some flaws even me haha ok especially me lolol and we have differences, but that doesn't mean we don't also have similarities in what we want in life and how we want to be treated

    • _no_one_

      In the end, everyone needs a partner who would care for em. Hating others is just a phase, better kill em with kindness lol

    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ couldn't agree there more either lolol

  • OmNomaly
    I would absolutely love for egotism, sexism, racism, etc. to be left out of intellectual conversation. As you mentioned before. This is supposed to be a safe place for both genders to ask questions they have.
    This isn't Facebook or Twitter or some other venue for people to just talk crap about one another or even for that matter use this site as some kind of hook up place.
    I have seen quite a few users in the sexuality area of the site openly looking for people to go onto their onlyfans or for sexting and hooking up.
    The sexuality section has been getting pretty risque, opposed to asking questions in a more appropriate way.
    e. g. Users posting half naked pictures of themselves and asking how people would rate them.
    • Thank you!!! Couldn't agree more!! But with everything in life, some asshats ruin it for everyone else...

  • humanearth
    I enjoyed reading this and boy you hit the nail on the head with this one
    • Thank you (heart emoji) (smiley face) needed to be said but also need to keep the circulation in my fingers lololol

  • AlexDeLarge
    What a fantastic read. Thank you for addressing these issues. Hopefully this reaches a lot people here
    • Thank you πŸ’œπŸ™‚ would be nice, butt πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

    • I have a few other double standards I could mention but I won't say them here

    • There's a lot of them, I agree

  • JessieBellll
    Excellent take... But there will always be bias. Its human nature
  • Jersey2
    Wow that’s a lot of crying and whining. Perhaps you could just man up and deal with it. Lol
    • How is that whining or crying to call people out on their bullshit 🀣 but okay.. You man up.. I womaned up with my Mac of 20 years cuz he was a good man, not a sexist fucking idiot like some of the people on here, but thanks for your reply πŸ™‚πŸ™‚

    • *man not Mac

    • Jersey2

      You’re welcome. πŸ™‚

  • Madmegalomaniac
    I disagree for the most part, and it involves a lot of appeal to emotion.


    Pejudices themselves can be rational or irrational. Lumping them all into a single category and assuming we should never make them ignores the nature of what causes a person to be prejudiced.


    Most prejudices and stereotypes are rooted in noticing behavioural tendencies among people with similar traits. Girls are stereotyped a certain way because they've been observed to have those behavioural tendencies.


    These observations may be rooted in confirmation bias from men who have experienced rejection, and they may not be.


    But they are not always irrational. And making judgments based on them can often be a perfectly sensible thing to do.
    • Really πŸ€” saying all women hate sex? I know as a female THAT'S not true lol
      All women are gold diggers, that's not based on facts that's based on bias and false assumptions...
      The majority of child molesters are white males, so would it be right to assume ALL WHITE MALES are child molesters? No it would be not. Just because some women/men lie or cheat don't mean it's okay, right, or true to assume ALL do...
      But, thank you for reading and replying πŸ™‚πŸ’œ

  • DWornock
    Other than political double standards such as the bias shown by family courts and the bias in favor of women and minorities, can't think of any that are not logical such as it is okay for a guy to walk alone at night in all kinds of neighborhoods but not girls.
  • 007kingifrit
    men and women are different and we should have different standards for them. unless they are the same in a certain way we should have 2 separate standards for them

    feminists are wrong; men and women are not equal, equal in rights maybe but not equal in anything else
    • Did I say equal in everything?
      But to excuse certain behaviors like a lot
      of sexual partners or cheating for men but hold women to a higher standard is wrong.
      Just as is holding men to a higher standard of not being physically abusive than women are held to is also wrong...
      Certain behaviors are wrong and both genders should be held to the same standards when it comes to those behaviors

    • its not wrong to hold women to a higher standard, women can get pregnant and need to find a mate sooner than men as their partnering value goes down each year after 22 and plummets after 30

    • Only if you could women as just a vessel for creating babies, and to say any person's value goes down is just ridiculous anyways

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  • raven6933
    I agree for the most part but all women are crazy then again so are all men🤣🤣🤣. I'm pretty sure I gave an opinion somewhere about the woman's fight for equality. If not here goes again, women fight for equality in the workplace and understandably but that's were it should end. Woman was not put here to be man's equal. She plays a much more vital role. To quell man's anger, to nurture and help shape all to non violence, yet they have been lead to believe that they are inferior not superior since the turn of time. Instead of fighting and bickering all the time they need to be help holding each other up. For all the males that think it's cool to bash or use women, do you approve of the same being done to your mother? They should keep in mind without women there would be no men. This may sound sexist but all women should be treated as a delicate flower no matter her physical power. They are not floor mats, punching bags or objects for nothing more than sex.
  • mrgspoter
    Do you mean women are treated worse to much, that's what I think mostly has happened in history.
    • I didn't just say women... I'm saying no one, should be treated crappy based off bias for their gender, when it's women doing that to men or men doing that to women

    • mrgspoter

      Ok so I'm taking that as it's ok for me to not like men at all really 😜

    • If that's how you feel... I like men, I don't like asshats, I like women, just don't like asshats... Asshats come in both genders

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  • Evil_Chuck
    Different standards and expectations exist for a reason. I can recognize and meet them while still feeling perfectly free. I agree with the part about assumptions though.
  • Alexalex92
    Nice post! I believe we have to have balance and not thinking too much radical
  • OddBeMe
    How much of these standards are placed on chicks by other chicks? Seems we went from men owning women to women owning each other.
    • Really πŸ€” funny tho cuz it's been on here I see doing that not only to women, but calling any man that don't agree with them simps or white knights πŸ€”πŸ€”

  • cjgsu
    👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
    • Thank you πŸ’œπŸ€—(takes bow lol) (throws out hip) or maybe it's frozen... But knock on wood, fingers crossed, furnace should be fixed today (he just went to buy the part)... Have one little space heater here now, but that damn thing so little ain't doing much

    • cjgsu

      I hope it works

    • You and me both!!

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  • JosyJosy
    May this change people's minds <3
    • ,πŸ€— thanks.. But don't hold your breath, and I won't either lolol but would be nice, wouldn't it

  • LEADFOOTboi
    XD... SOME OF THESE USER QUOTES ARE GOLD...
    • There were way more and way worse ones but didn't feel like scrolling too far back lol and then it would of gotten too long, it was already too lengthy lolol

  • Givemore
    I just came here for tits😩
    • πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ sorry πŸ€·πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

    • Givemore

      I did read it and it's very well done. And it shouldn't be, them and us, we are all human. X

    • Thank you and I agree

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