In love with my female best friend

[SomeGuyWithaQuestion]

So I met her over a year ago when we started living together as flat mates, we lived together for six months both studying abroad. Then we went home. Now we're still in contact and quite close. When we lived together I started to have feelings for her and I told her but she was already in a relationship. We stayed friends after this and I would ask her often advice about dating when seeing other girls.

Our friendship has evolved over time and currently we talk nearly every day on whatsapp or over the phone. I always flirt with her for fun (and maybe to lay groundwork for something in the future) and often she does it back or even starts it. She is also always there for me and I always there for her (she even stayed on the phone with me over night when I was having a rough time, not ending the call untill we fell asleep).

Whenever I ask her about her now ex-boyfriend (the one she was with before) she always tells me she wants to try again with him even though she knows it's not a good idea. When she says this stuff I always talk about my own situation with this other girl (that she knows aswell).

The problem is I keep having feelings for her. I can tell she cares a lot about me but I don't think in a romantic way. She always asks me when I will visit her (in her country) but I always have to say after Corona, and we also make ''future plans'' to visit eachother and travel together.

Sometimes the ''fake'' flirting gets way to real, I'm not sure sometimes if it's still a joke or not. For example when I talked to her recently I said something like ''when I visit, you will see again how handsome I am'' and she replied with ''hahaha yes, and then I will fall in love with you''.

Sometimes I think she might like me in a romantic way but isn't sure about how she feels untill she sees me again in real life but I know it's a dangerous way of thinking because she still wants to have a relationship with her ex. I think my brain tricks me into wishfull thinking maybe too much.

Nevertheless I still struggle with feelings for her a lot of the time and I don't know how to fix it and still be close friends with her.

[Shihab91]

The only thing between man and a woman is love, no friendship

[NeedsAdvice10]

Thats not completly true. When you like someone you should most of the time become their friend (but not enough of a friend to get friend zoned) so that you can find out what type of person they are and then if you still like them then you can take the next step to asking them out. But remember to flirt enough to not be friend zoned.

[SomeGuyWithaQuestion]

@NeedsAdvice10 Well she was in a relationship when I was living with her and I became friends with her during this time while I also was dating other people, so I guess I got friendzoned automatically