I got into a very heated argument with my girlfriend and I pushed her on the floor, you consider this the same as "hitting" or along those lines?

[Anonymous]

4 days ago this hapend. I talked with my girlfriend today and we're both fine now. She told me never to push her again because she said when she fell it hurt. I feel bad, i really do. I talked with my friend and he said "you didn't hit her so you're ok man". Is that ture? again i won't do it again, no matter how mad i'am. My dad was hit my mom sometimes and I don't know it remineded me of that and i'm not that type of perosn.

[MelbaB]

Stories like this makes me proud to not only have years of self-defense but be taller, heavier and stronger than the average girl.

If someone insults me I'm not doing anything but once they get physical with me because I said something too personal, let's just say it won't look good on them afterwards.

However, I haven't had anyone yet that has ever dare try getting physical aggressive with me. Why? Because everyone (even the people that are moody) know who to get physical vs who not to even try regardless of how mad they are at that moment. In a way this is sad. It shouldn't take being stronger and have fighting skills the only reason to get respected but rather because you should know it's wrong to assault someone you love.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something very personal, i will never do it again. We've been together for almost 3 years and trust me this one was a big argument. We're ok now and i said sorry to her and i would never do it and will take her out. Again she said something very personal, but i won't do it again. i feel very bad. I don't get mad easy at all, both of us are ok now and i won't do it again

[MelbaB]

I have no reason to trust you. Honestly, only time will tell whether you keep your promise or not.

[Asker]

I will 100%, you can believe or not, i know i will keep my promise to her, she is still with me and didn't break up so that means something to me.

[Vesuvius87]

If I were your girlfriend, you wouldn't even have to worry about trying to explain things nor apologizing. I wouldn't even be the person to hear you but rather the cops. You still move things to the next level by turning something verbal into a physical altercation.

If you can push your girlfriend to the floor because of words she said during an argument then you have a problem. I can imagine how this is going to turn out if it's an actually for other serious matters, besides a common argument couples have.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. We've been together for almost 3 years and trust me this one was a big argument. We're ok now and i said sorry to her and i would never do it and will take her out. Again she said something very personal, but i won't do it again.

[Vesuvius87]

seriously if I can get a boyfriend to push or hit me because or words... omg I must be such a smart woman that I can get him to react, just by words LOL

[Vesuvius87]

for me, one push or even a boyfriend getting in my face would be enough

[Asker]

i understand what you're saying but what she said we very personal. I will never do it again

[Vesuvius87]

My mother would said offensive and very personal stuff too during arguments. That was still no excuse for my father to physically retaliate. As an adult woman, I have zero tolerance towards being physically violated or threatened in any way by a boyfriend or husband. One wrong move he makes and for me it is over (or it ends in divorce if married) right away.

[Vesuvius87]

and I would careless if it's with someone I've been for a 1 or 10 years... I wouldn't ever get over it no matter how many times he said sorry

[Asker]

i respect your comment and opinion. I will never do it again and i do feel like shit and feel bad. we're both ok now but even she said, if i do it again she will leave me.

[Vesuvius87]

So what are you gonna do differently if a similar argument happens again and she's once again saying something personal?

[Asker]

if she does say something personal i will simply walk away and not continue with the argument, if she keeps talking i will tell her to stop.

[Vesuvius87]

Then exercise self-control and remember that. You're lucky she's still your girlfriend.

[Asker]

i don't get mad easy and ye si know i'm very lucky to have her still, i won't do it again

[Asker]

i understand the way you feel again if you knew me, i'am very nice and don't get mad, not matter what she says i won't do it again

[Joey9819]

I recently pushed my girlfriend to the floor in a drunk argument... after she had been pushing and punching me. This waa the only time i ever retaliated but she has been hitting, kicking, punching me for three years. Am i wrong?

[Vesuvius87]

@Joey9819
Then she should have been your ex girlfriend long ago the very first time she got violent with you.

[BarbaraP]

Pushing someone on the floor equals hitting them. You should really think about what you've done, sometimes we don't wanna be like our parents but we end up being just like them without even realising it. Keep yourself under control, be conscious about what you do and think, don't try to deny it. If you ever feel like hitting her again, seek professional help.

[Asker]

i understand i was very wrong in doing so.. it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. We're ok now and i can promise you i never get mad it's just the one personal thing she said to me. i will never do it again and i dont want to be like my dad

[juliaanita]

Never ever push a woman to the floor, ok? You can't imagine the fear

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again, i was wrong in doing it, and yeah she told me she was scared cause she though i was going to hurt her more but i stopped there. Again i won't do it again.

[juliaanita]

good. Keep that promise with yourself. It really is scarier than you can imagine.

[Asker]

may i ask if it's ok did it happen to you? You don't have to answer this if it's personal by chance, and i will never do it, trust me

[juliaanita]

I was physically abused by a guy when I was much much younger. I am petite, so I was easy to manhandle.

[Asker]

oh :( i'am very sorry about that. My girlfriend is small too, and when she fell she said it hurt. I will never ever do it again, i can imagine how she felt and she admitted she was scarred. again i will never do this again, realize now how bad it was and i feel bad believe me :(

[juliaanita]

well, only time will tell. I wish you well and I really wish her well.

[Asker]

thank you, again i won't do it, i do feel very bad. thank you and the best of luck to you in the future

[juliaanita]

And to you too:)

[Hal2002]

I got new for you bro, holding a girls wrists to stop her from walking away can be considered assault.

If you are getting to the point of getting physical when having and disagreement, you need to walk away and cool down.

The way the law looks at domestic abuse today, you could find yourself doing time and on national list that can make you unemployable.

I know a guy that that had to cop come to his job, because he grabbed his girls hands during an argument and it was witnessed by one of her co-workers who called the police.

[Asker]

i understand i was very wrong in doing so.. it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. yeah things are now are easy for those things, again i won't do it again

[Hal2002]

And that is what every woman hitter says, it will not happen again it was only that one time. That is until, it happens again.

[Asker]

i won't do it, you have my word, i do not get mad easy at all, it takes something to trigger me which is that persoanl thing she said, again i will never do it again

[FierceBrosnan]

Well what you did wasn't cool or okay. Now it can't be called abuse if it is the first and only time this has ever happened, just read the definition of abuse it'll make more sense. You grew up in a household of abuse though, and when things hit a breaking point learned behaviors can pop up unconsciously. You do understand what you did, why it's wrong, you've already made up with your girl, and recognize that it could stem from a very bad past.

So is it okay? Hell no.

[Asker]

i totally understand you and i understand i was very wrong in doing so.. it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again.

[FierceBrosnan]

Hey you two will be alright. And no matter how heated it gets gotta find the right words. I dated a girl that used to push my buttons constantly and damn near came close to serving her a backhand like John McEnroe. And then I saw how terrified she was after and it was a sobering experience. So don't ever think you're alone in getting that angry either because more of us here have then we'd ever like to admit.

[Asker]

yeah thanks. i won't ever do it again.

[Anonymous]

You know something. I said the F-word and something personal to my boyfriend as well too. Guess what? Unlike your reaction and some other guys to hit or push, he broke it off.

It was over that day and it still is. I've been trying to win him back for nearly a month now.

[Opinion Owner]

I he would have placed his hands on me, I don't think I would have been trying this hard to get him back nor feel like absolute shit for treating him that way.

[Opinion Owner]

If...

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. We've been together for almost 3 years and trust me this one was a big argument. We're ok now and i said sorry to her and i would never do it and will take her out. Again she said something very personal, but i won't do it again. Please don't think i'am this rage guy... i'am not. I will never do it again. Best of luck with getting that guy back too.

[batgirl22]

I consider it as hitting because in my opinion you don't lay your hand on a lady unless its self defense. and that didn't seem like she did anything physical to you to try and harm you. that all she was doing was yelling at you.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. We've been together for almost 3 years and trust me this one was a big argument. We're ok now and i said sorry to her and i would never do it and will take her out. Again she said something very personal, but i won't do it again. i feel very bad.

[JacquelineBuan]

dude (I'm replying here because you basically told her the same thing you told me) if the president called you an idiot, would you hit him back for it? No, you wouldn't. If a nun insulted you, would you shove her to the ground? Would it be okay if you did? No, it wouldn't be. You can fight back with words if you must. But physical acts of violence, irregardless of whether or not you'll regret them later, are not okay.

[Anonymous]

When some people feel they have been mentally defeated, they lash out aggressively physically.

Think about that.

I can see that you know that acting aggressive physically is wrong.

Think about why you felt mentally defeated and about a better way of dealing with that inevitable situation the next time.

[CHARismatic110]

Well you really shouldn't ever put your hands on her with intentions to hurt her. Even if you say it was a one time thing, I still think talking with a counselor or therapist wouldn't hurt.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. I don't think i need a counselor. my dad sometimes would hit my mom and i promised myself i would never be like him

[CHARismatic110]

I understand that. You can never do that again.

[Asker]

i will never do it

[DaddyRollingStone]

Eh, as long she didn't shatter into a million pieces onto the floor, you have to be careful yknow since women are made of glass.

You just gotta control your anger man, I know its hard but if you feel like you're going to lose it then you just need to leave.

[ScarsAreBeauty]

Hell no, it's not ok! Walk away when you get that hot headed. I'm not as nice as her, once you pushed me it would have been assault and I would have beat your ass in self defense.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something very personal, i will never do it again. We've been together for almost 3 years and trust me this one was a big argument. We're ok now and i said sorry to her and i would never do it and will take her out. Again she said something very personal, but i won't do it again. i feel very bad. I don't get mad easy at all, both of us are ok now and i won't do it again

[JacquelineBuan]

To me it's considered domestic violence. I mean even if you didn't mean to, come on you knew that was going to hurt her. I mean floors aren't exactly soft and cushiony.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. We've been together for almost 3 years and trust me this one was a big argument. We're ok now and i said sorry to her and i would never do it and will take her out. Again she said something very personal, but i won't do it again. we never had an argument like this

[JacquelineBuan]

Yeah I get that, I get that you're regret what happened, but regret doesn't change what happened. You asked whether it was considering "hitting" her. No you didn't "hit" her, but you physically assaulted her. It's like, being sorry about hurting someone doesn't take away the fact that you did indeed, hurt that person.

I don't know if you asked this question to be reassured and be told that what you did was okay, but there's honestly nothing you can do to change me opinion- what you DID was not okay. You can make sure it never happens again, but what DID happen was not alright at all.

[Asker]

from the start i knew what i did was not ok, i asked if it would be the same as assault but through all the comments here i got my answer and i feel bad, my and my girlfriend are both ok now and i told her it will never happen again. i never said it was ok to hit a woman, and i'm not happy about it

[Asker]

I do have self control and if you were to meet me in person you would see me always happy. It's just she said something very personal. I will never do it again and walk away next time

[tyber1]

That would be abuse if it was a pattern but I'd chalk it up as an accident and/or poor judgment. Shit happens. Just make sure you live up to your promise to not do it again.

[NateInAk]

Awesome answer.
Don't do that shit again, but messing up once is not the end of the world.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again.

[Chick180]

You pushed her but you didn't hit her? Yeah... Okay. Don't convince yourself.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. i understand what i did was wrong

[Chick180]

You better not do that again.

[Asker]

i won't trust me, i know i was wrong in doing it.

[barbiepooh]

you placed hands on her and that was enough... smh learn to control your anger or go get some help...

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. We've been together for almost 3 years and trust me this one was a big argument. We're ok now and i said sorry to her and i would never do it and will take her out. Again she said something very personal, but i won't do it again. I don't get very angry please believe me. i feel bad for what i did.

[barbiepooh]

I'm not accusing but do what it takes to keep your relationship right on point

[xCutesyLolitax]

If I were her I would have reported you to the police. That was abuse.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. I understand that you feel that way, we been together for about 3 years now, but again yes she could of done that, we're ok now and i won't ever do it again

[xCutesyLolitax]

I realize that people make mistakes. However, you really need to get your anger under control. See a counselor or a therapist, maybe they can help you.

[Asker]

it was a ontime thing and i'm never angry, believe me. I know i was stupid for doing this but i dont think i need a counselor.

[notverycreativeguy]

Boohoo, report people to the police for every little trifle.
If people would report everything everyone would be in jail.
Fun fact by the way: Here you can be longer in jail for offending someone verbally than for hitting someone.

[xCutesyLolitax]

@notverycreativeguy
Cool.

[Vesuvius87]

@notverycreativeguy, I fail to see what's wrong with not wanting anyone to lay a hand on you. Unless it's a playful wrestling game in bed (I use to do that with my past bf) or for hugging/kissing purposes... no boyfriend should ever touch me in anger during an argument. If so, I have my rights to report him.

[vicklzzz_xoxo]

Well kinda, But if your not that type of person never do it again.

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. I been with her almost 3 years and this was a huge argument we had and she just said something very personal... but i will never do it again

[CleoNicole]

trust me if she came and tell the police that they d charge u with assault for sure

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. yes i understand i would be in trouble

[Anonymous]

It's not ok... pushing people is violence too! She could have fallen in some way that really hurt her!

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again. She did say she was hurt but we're ok now and resolved, i won't ever do it again.

[Opinion Owner]

If you two are okay then It's cool. It sure isn't something as bad as hitting her but it's not okay either way!

[Asker]

yes i understand

[Anonymous]

That's not cool bro. She's your girlfriend you should protect her not hurt her! No matter what!

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again.

[Watermelonoma]

eh its pretty much the same thing in my eyes. Listen to your girlfriend and never do it again...

[Asker]

i understand i was very wrong in doing so.. it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again.

[Watermelonoma]

well thats good to hear. tbh you're lucky she's still your girlfriend -_-

[Asker]

yeah i agree, it won't happen again

[Klaatu51]

oh god... now she might report u dude... hope she's well :/

[notverycreativeguy]

I consider it as 'shit happens', people have emotions, we can't really control those, what happened wasn't good, but it's nothing that makes you a bad person or something.

[MelbaB]

If people have emotions and shit happens then why would is it only on weaker ones, those with no fighting skills or vulnerable individuals that they take out their anger at without even having second thoughts or feelings of apprehension?

I've seen the Steve Wilkos show sometime ago. Even most of the abusers wouldn't even dare push the host, no matter how much he was pushing their buttons. I'm talking about real abusive ones with self-control issues. Is it really? Or is it the fact that the host would stomp them?

[Anonymous]

You might want to see a counselor to make sure you can deal with your anger better in the future

[Asker]

it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again.

[Opinion Owner]

Still, you say that now, but it might be hard for you..

[Asker]

no i don't get mad easy, please trust me. it was what she said. I won't do it again, i feel bad. we did get it resolved now

[Opinion Owner]

You don't need me to trust you, YOU need to trust that nothing like that will happen again, and asking this question kind if implies you don't. I'm not trying to be harsh by saying that so I'm sorry if it sounds that way; but I just think probably it would make you and her feel better if you had some more resources to help if you do feel that way again

[Asker]

we have talked and she said she was scared and i apologized and promised her i won't do it again. i'm not a bad person or get angry very easy, it's just what she said but i wopnt do that again

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not saying you're a bad person (I don't believe there's such a thing as a bad person but even if I did I wouldn't consider you one). You clearly regret what you did a lot and want to make it right. I can't make you do anything, and it seems like you've made up your mind already. I maintain my opinion though, based on the very limited amount you've written here. I wish you and your girlfriend the best anyway

[Asker]

thanks we're ok now

[jdj25]

Same as hitting its abuse ask the cops they will tell you

[Asker]

i understand i was very wrong in doing so.. it was just one time, it's just she said something personal, i will never do it again.