My boyfriend says he loves me but likes another girl too. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I've noticed that my boyfriend isn't acting the same lately, but the other day he told me he liked someone else but loved me, wen i told him it hurts cuz he can't have feelings for two people he told me he was just messing with me but i told him ik ur not cuz just the other day he asked me how i would feel if he did like someone n now he brings it up again ik it can't be messing around. I asked him how dose he see her and he says he dosnt even see her so i was like then wth u can't like someone without seeing/ talking to them and he's like my brain goes blank wen i see her so he practicly lied to me again i ask him wen dose he see her again n he tells me wen his driving around his neighborhood. I don't know i feel like his lying a little to much about her won't even tell me her name. I dont know what to do give him space or just wait a little longer and see how it goes but i know i dont wanna get hurt even tho it hurts like f*** knowing he has feelings for another girl. What should i do?

[Wondahwoman]

How long have you been together? It's normal to find other people attractive when you're in a relationship and liking them can happen too, as long as he keeps his distance and doesn't act on it. How is your relationship otherwise? Has it been tense and stressful lately? Have you guys moved in together recently or made any other big changes? Like new schools, jobs, ect? Stress can bring these things About and it doesn't necessarily mean cheating. Crushes while you're committed to someone else can be normal as long as they fade within a month and don't go in to the "love" relm. It's very painful don't get me wrong. We all want to be the only person our partner wants. Maybe bring it up again but keep it light and try not to get accusational or defensive. He may not be opening up about the crush for fear of your reaction. Just say "I want to talk about this so we can fix it, but in order to I need to know everything even if you think it's going to hurt my feelings. I'm trying to listen and I'm all ears"

[Asker]

Weve been together for about 5 years he has a job i dont but its been more then a month maybe even more then 2 that he's liked that girl and yes we fight very often but its like he picks them he dose it over random and stupid things.

[Wondahwoman]

That could be a bad sign. Usually people pick fights often over stupid things to mask guilt for liking someone else, acting on a feeling, or when they are no longer happy in a relationship but want you to make the first move towards ending it. (Not saying this is what's happening to you it's just a possibility). I had an ex who cheated, and he was such a nice guy until it started. Once it did it's like everything I did was wrong. What I said, what I wore, even when I did what he told me to he still picked a fight over it. In reality I wasn't doing anything wrong, but he had to convince himself I was to justify his actions and mask his guilt.

Anyway, I hope this is just a rough patch and nothing drastic and things work out for you. Best of luck.

[heyitsme20]

Damn that hurts a lot. The fact that he's lying can mean two things: he does love you and doesn't want to upset you or he's just being a guy avoiding a fight. Either way, you know the truth so you gotta tell him you've been feeling insecure about the whole situation and you should give him space if he agrees. Dont give it more time and drag the problem making it worse. Talk and find a solution.

[Asker]

Yea your right thats what imma do thank you! You helped me a lot

[heyitsme20]

You're welcome hope it all works out !

[Drooogie4]

He doesn't love you.
He likes another girl too.
That doesn't scream "faithful" or anyone you want to waste your time on.
He needs to want you if he has you, and only you.

[Jared____]

Smack the fool let him know side hoes are off limits

[PurpleTeardrops]

Leave him. He may stray and cheat. You don't want to stick around for a man who's not 100% serious about you