My boyfriend grabbed me buy the throat?

[Anonymous]

I had accused him of cheating and he got angry and lightly put a hand around my throat and threw me onto the bed. It didn't hurt. And I got up and started screaming at him (as you do). Then we both ended up in tears hugging. We've been together for 3 years and i've never seen him that angry with me before and he's previously told me he would never ever lay a finger on me. I'm only slightly worried as it was a side to him that scared me and it keeps playing on my mind. What should I do

[hellionthesage]

Well while it was inappropriate you did accuse him of cheating which if he did not (and dependent on his moral code) is a massive insult and attack on his character. What else did you do? I ask because if this never occured in three years then this is obviously not a normal thing and there must have been a trigger (ie your accusation).

[RachelBrigs]

She couldve been pissing on his pillow while calling his mom a whore and he doesn't have the right to hit her.
I'm so over the idea that someone's words are a valid reason to hit someone.
Can't tell you how many times my 5'10" 180 pound brother would throw me around and my parents would say "well hun what did you say prior to him hitting you to set him off?"
It don't fucking matter!! We aren't 5! You don't hit someone over words!
Had she been physically attacking him hell yeah he should defend himself. Otherwise no.

[hellionthesage]

@RachelBrigs I never said it was alright, in fact I out right stated it was wrong as you can see if you wish to read my comment again. However that does not mean that it was unprovoked nor does it mean he is violent it means he did something wrong as people tend to do from time to time. She stated this was the only time in three years that he got this mad and the only time he had ever did anything like this therefore this was not a behavioral issue on his part ie there was not a history of violence from him meaning there must have been something to trigger it that he could not cope with (it must have been rather extreme) since he never had the issue before. That is all I said, were you got the idea I was saying it was okay is beyond me since I clearly stated otherwise.

[TripleAce]

I think that's fine after 3 years

Sometimes we get angry and if you trust him... I don't think he would actually hurt you in any way.. it was more a dominance thing like, don't mess with and don't accuse me

Like how a lion roars loud to back off

[RachelBrigs]

That reaction is a red flag. If I were accused of that I would be hurt, but I'd want to talk about it to understand why he thought that. To react in violence is strange to say the least. Like "no bitch I'm not cheating on you but I'm gonna beat you up! " tf.

Leave.

[CheerGirl38139]

Three things.

1. HE probably got so mad because he was actually guilty.

2. If he put his hands on you once, he will do it again.

3. Get. Out. Now. Before you rally get hurt.

[MarieLovesIt]

That happens to me... I'm outta there. Add in the fact you think he's cheating on you? Color me GONE

[ixi10]

I know what I would do, leave his ass. This is not ok.

[Xelebrum]

Don't break up with him yet, it could very well be just a one time thing.

But still, that isn't something to just brush off, so either he should go to anger management classes or you both need to go see a couples' counselor.

If he ever does it again, THEN break up with him.

[RachelBrigs]

Yeah wait to break up with him when he REALLY hurts ya

[nativepride73]

Who knows what could happen if he gets really violent. This is an outburst of anger. Probably something he had been building up over time, hence the apology afterwards. However, that is not someone you want be around. He could really hurt you bad if he snaps and get really violent and you don't want to be with a guy your not safe with. He is supposed to be there to protect you and support you, not attack you and hurt you.

[Applefan1]

Even thought it did not hurt you it is still an instant deal breaker. Leave now before he actually does hurt you. If he has done it once he will probably do it again.

[WalterRadio]

Leave. Now.

There is a different issue as to why you think he might have been with another woman, and if he were, why he might do that.

No man should ever hurt a woman outside of self defense.

[Anonymous]

He crossed the line but laying his hands maliciously on you. For your safety, I would break up and leave him. He's done it once, he can do it again (and again). You don't want to live your life in fear.

[IamNuts]

Leave before he hurts you again. The fact that he got violent after being accused goes to show that he is hiding something.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Dump him.

That's not acceptable. Not only did he cheat on you, but he also physically abused you. Two relationship-breaking strikes.

[Octavius]

Just break up it's a destroyed relationship already with not trust and aggression. He also has anger issues.

[meatballs21]

Wow, this is a happy relationship.

He shouldn't touch you except lovingly, and you shouldn't go accusing.

[ChuckL77]

You need to leave him. He needs to get help. Leave him and do not look back.

[SilentKite]

If he is showing signs of physical abuse, it is time to rethink your relationship

[Anonymous]

"as you do" hahahaha.

Um I don't know. I don't think he should have grabbed you by the throat. Perhaps it's a glimpse of things to come or maybe it's a one time thing.

[blondfrog]

I'd spy on him and see if he is cheating or get one of your friends to.

[RationalMale]

Well, either dump him, or stay with him and realize that you must show respect and not provoke him.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about you but... that's a definite deal breaker for me

[ginnyweasley]

break up with him now

[Anonymous]

This time it could have been a heat of the moment thing, but if he ever does it again leave.

[jmmmfi2]

Well next time don't accuse him of stupid shit he probably didn't do

[alfonsosloan45]

He is going to beat you senseless.

[Zendrya]

Leave him he's dangerous