What's the difference between a hookup, ONS, and Friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

Can anyone define these three for me? I mean I know a ONS is a one time fuck and that's it. Friends with benefits is when it's a consistent fuck buddy. Someone you fuck from time to time. So how does hookups play into this?

I ask this because I've seen some people say they've had hookups but no friends with benefits or ONS. How?

[elew4too]

A hookup is a general term for any physical, sexual action with the gender you fancy. It could be sex, but it could be making out or anything in-between, depending on who you talk to.

A one-night-stand usually refers to hooking up with someone after concluding the events of a particular night. The hookup is a one-time thing.

A friend with benefits is a person with whom you hookup over a long period of time with the understanding that neither of you want to be boyfriend/girlfriend. The hookup is a repeating thing.

[Asker]

Y'all confusing me. Another dude said a hookup is an unplanned one night stand. That would include sex.

[elew4too]

Not necessarily. For example, you can hookup with your girl after a romantic date. A hookup is just a general term for sexy time in any incarnation, whether it be a one night stand or with your girlfriend on a Tuesday night.

[Asker]

What if you're just watching a movie together cuddled up is that hooking up?

[elew4too]

Yeah, if you're a prude lol. The definition changes from person to person.

[Asker]

Fuck! XD

I went basically nowhere with this. I'll just use my own terms then. Hook up to me is anything that is casual sex. That's my definition. Unless it's "hooking you up" then that's something setting someone up to be in a relationship with someone even if it's casual.

[psychomonkey]

Hook ups is more often then not something that's not planned but it's basically the same thing.

[Asker]

Same thing as what?

[Asker]

Basically a unplanned one night stand?

[psychomonkey]

hooking up is the same thing as both of them but unplanned

[psychomonkey]

Actually it can be planned

[Asker]

Ahhh XD.

So hooking up can be unplanned or planned sex while one night stand is planned sex?

[umathurman]

hookups is when you have no relationship with this person other than sex

[Asker]

That's a friends with benefits or fuck buddy to me.

[Asker]

I guess everybody has their own definitions. It gets confusing when people say "hook up" in some situations where I'm like "That's not a hook up."

[umathurman]

friend with benefits you still hang out with the person I think
I don't know actually

[Asker]

Yeah that's true. I agree with that.

[umathurman]

it is getting real confusing though lol

[AzureGirl]

Hookup is just another word for a one night stand.

[Asker]

Planned or unplanned? So if you kiss someone but don't have sex with them is that a hook up?

[AzureGirl]

I feel a hookup is slightly more planned than a one night stand, but not by much.

[AzureGirl]

And I refer hooking up as sex

[Asker]

Uhhh.

[Asker]

I'm so confused.

[AzureGirl]

Okay let me attempt to explain it a bit more.

Hookup: somewhat planned sex. Like say inviting someone over to hang out and have sex while not in a relationship, but not as a regular thing. Think of (and I hate using this as an example) the Netflix and chill thing going around.

ONS: usually spontaneous. Could be as a result of just meeting a person at a party and one thing just leading to another.

[Asker]

Well someone else said that a hookup can be unplanned too and another said that it can be anything. It doesn't have to be sex and it doesn't have to be planned.

Maybe everybody just has their own definitions of it? Because that's where I'm at now lol.

[Asker]

I've always thought of ONS as planned or unplanned.

[AzureGirl]

Yeah everyone has their own versions of what each are lol, this is my take on it all. It's a bit tricky really!