Guys, what's the difference between a "Hookup material " girl and "serious relationship material " girl?

Question

My guy friend told me yesterday that I should stop being so naïve and clueless with guys and that some of the guys talking to me only want sex.
I want to understand how you guys think. What is the difference between a woman you want to only hookup with and a woman you want to be serious with? What are the characteristics?

How can I know what are the true intentions of a guy?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Haha he's got a certain point.

Look tbh for me, I am just attracted to certain people. I don't label them. If I want to be with someone, that means both ways. I like nice sweet girls. That includes girls I know in my friendship group or whatever. Girls who might not be single. And then become single.

With those female friends, I would sleep with all of them as a one off if they were interested. The problem is how to know they are interested. I wouldn't use them as I would STILL be friends afterward. It's just that either one or both of us might not be up for dating atm. Being busy or whatever.

I wouldn't want to sleep with some other random attention seeking girl who thinks she is hot and is NOT hot, just for the sake of sex. I wouldn't find it enjoyable. I would ONLY want to sleep with those female friends or sweet girl.

So I don't view sweet women as hookup or relationship. Ultimately you want the relationship, but sometimes can't, so I'm happy to hookup. The problem is who to know they want it or how to broach the friend on the subject. I think if they were up for it, I'd love to sleep with a lot of them as I find them to be nice girls and pretty too.

As for women though, I kinda feel that they act less sexual around guys who are not as gentlemanly or sweet at texting etc. So even within a social circle, the charming attractive and good mannered guy will almost be punished for that. In the sense of whilst she might pose closer to him and text him more, and there's this spark between them, she keeps any feelings inside. He compliments just her uniquely. But he can't tell what's going on. Whereas a loud mouth, less attractive, in your face guy who objectifies all the women in the group and outside it (cheapening any compliments he gives), simply by being in your face, girls will pose around him, and allow him to act more sexual as if he can't help it.

Which seems perverse does it not? So as in a girl would label the first guy as boyfriend material (even if you won't always boyfriend every single guy friend of that type) and not be sexual and the latter guy as someone to give head to in the backroom at the party. Which is insane.

For me, I would only be friends, try to date or want to sleep with and still be friends with a great sweet girl. Not a brash girl.

Make sense?

kap_nss · Accepted Answer

First of all you have to realize that not all the guys want just sex. Some guy won't have hookups. But of course there's a bunch of them who certainly want that.
I'd say that many characteristics of a girl who's girlfriend material will depend on the guy. What his preferences are. But I bet most of them will say a girl who is into hookups will never be girlfriend material. Certainly, it will be really rare one of this guy dating (for a girlfriend) a girl who slept with this in a one-night-stand. And when this guys look for girls for hooking up, they want those girls to be ready to have sex in the first date. Second date at most. They won't invest too much time because they know they will find an easier girl.

"How can I know what are the true intentions of a guy?"

Maybe there isn't a way to be one hundred percent sure about that. But let hime know right away that you won't have sex with him until the third month into the relationship. If you don't ever hear of him again then you know what he was looking for.

Idonthaveausername · Accepted Answer

The best way to see if a guy wants a relationship or just sex is to not have sex with him. If you two go on dates and flirt with each other and kiss and maybe even cuddle and makeout, but you don't have sex and he still sticks around, then he wants a relationship with you. If you go on a date or two and he's pushy about sex or stops talking to you, he was probably only looking for sex.

A girl who is relationship material has standards and men can tell that a girl has standards if she has true conviction in them. If you project that you have standards and morals, men will be able to tell. The ones looking for a hookup won't last long around you because they know you're too much for them. But the men looking for a relationship will be drawn to you because it will make you more attractive to them.

Guys like to joke with me that I play hard-to-get, but I tell them I'm not playing because I'm not. I am incredibly hard to get because I have standards and most guys don't even come close to meeting them. And many guys are turned on by hard-to-get girls, it's the bitches who are rude to them that they don't like. Girls who act like bitches to guys they like aren't playing hard-to-get, they're just bitches. If you're going to be a hard-to-get girl, you're going to have to let the guy know you're interested in him, but make it clear that he has to put in some effort for you to let him date you.

Relationship material girls don't wonder if guys are attracted to them. They assume guys are attracted to them and wonder if they're attracted to the guy. They won't give themselves up if the guy isn't making himself worth it.

Tephra · Accepted Answer

"Hook up" material referring to girls who go around looking for one night stands or they aren't loyal, trustworthy in a relationship. They can cause unneccessary drama too like cheating or arguing over little things.
"Serious relationship material" refer to girls who dress appropriately and behave appropriately. They dont "give themselves out" to just any guy; they make a guy work for it. They are loyal and trustworthy and care for you.
The biggest difference between both is that one is more valueable than the other.

nolookingbackx · Accepted Answer

You can usually feel when a guy wants just to use you. I am too nice and kinda naive too but listen to your intuition and when you feel like everything's too fast, don't ignore it. I mean when he's trying to kiss you when you almost don't know each other, trying to touch your body, behaving like you were in a relationship for a long time etc. don't trust! I know from experience.

Phoenix98 · Answer

If you want to know the true intentions of a guy ask him, but also test him to see if he pays attention to the things you've said, try to remember if he's there for you when it doesn't benefit him like get him sex or anything. Or since your waiting till marriage has a guy stuck around no matter and still wants to pursue something with you, things like that.

As for the difference between a hook girl material and serious relationship material.

hookup material is someone who I am only physically/sexually attracted to I don't care about her, the only thing I want to do is fuck her and leave her, no strings attached. She's not the kind of girl I would bring home to meet my parents and she's not the kind of girl I'd want to bear my children or raise them.

Someone I want a serious relationship with is someone who I am attracted to physically but also I am attracted to their personality, their mind. I care about what she thinks about me, I care what happens to her I'll be there when she needs me and I'll go out of my way for her. She's the type of woman I would want to be seen around with my friends and family, the type of woman I'd bring home to meet my parents and the woman I'd want to bear my children and raise them.

For me that's how it goes anyway there are a few more things but I gave you the gist of it.

But further more what @kambo_trick3y said about time he's right about that.

Yumix · Answer

well, in my opinion hookup material is someone I find physically very attractive, maybe expect to be good in bed, get easily into her pants or anything like that, but where I'm just not interested in a relationship for whatever reason. It can be her personality, intelligence, or anything else.

But to differ between hookup and serious relationship material, he needs to be interested in a serious relationship in the first place. Just because he tries to get into your pants doesn't mean that he thinks you are not good for a serious relationship, maybe he's just not actively looking for one but wants some fun.

How to know his true intentions? Well that can be difficult... some are super obvious and quickly try to get dirty but someone with a little bit of brain might hold back at the beginning. But think about your conversations... is he actually interested in you and your life? Does he wanna know what's going on in your life, tries to help you, tries making you feel good and more? Or is it just meaningless flirting, all about your looks, sexual stuff and things like that?

Make him quickly know that you are not available for hookups, sexting and nudes. You can do it in a jokingly, nice way whenever he the moment is right (like he makes a joke about sleeping with you). If he knows that you are serious about it and still keeps interest... then he probably wants more than just bang you

martyfellow · Answer

Yes, MOST of the guys only want sex, these days! Maybe you can talk them into a lasting relationship, and maybe not...

Guys have to learn to respect women, first of all. Someone has to teach them that.

THAT is what you need to do rather than trying to be nice to these guys.

kambo_trick3y · Answer

Time, commitment, and sacrifice, that's the scale you should use to measure a real person.

Words can be faked, money can be earned, but you cannot get back your time, and it's an expensive currency that most fake people cannot afford.

To measure a person, use the law of equivalent exchange. For every brick of time, effort and sacrifice and action they spend for you, respond with one brick of time, effort and sacrifice of your own until eventually, both of you have built a house of trust for each other.

drummerdude25 · Answer

I think the question you should be asking yourself around guys is, "does this guy actually respect me?"

If so, he's going to be forward and honest with you, he might even say he wants to, or is willing to, take things slow. A guy that is serious about you isn't going to be very hands-on at all in the beginning stages and will respect your space, and won't be so eager to get touchy-feely... He'll put much more emphasis on wanting to get to know you, it's pretty much as simple as that.

Just watch out for the player types and seek meaningful connections and friendships and things will fall into place. It can be easier said than done though I suppose lol.

TripleAce · Answer

We can sit here and list 200 of them - at the end of the day it comes down to intuition - all situations are created differently... you just have to know through experience - like dating and seeing where it goes but since you don't date... now we have a slight conundrum don't we madame

Ok ok pas de problem
Rule of thumb - you guys should be more focused on engaging in meaningful constructive activities and some sexual flirtation. 80-20% is good here. Max 70-30... once you start creeping into 40% sex talk and only 60% constructive that's too much

Bonne chance princess Jasmine

capturemyheartnow · Answer

"Hook up material" girls are girls who are easy going girls in a relationship. They are desperate to connect with the guy on easy terms. They accept date offers easily , they are ready to have sex or they willingly kiss or hug and show their love easily. Sometimes they are good girls but treated badly in relationships. On the other hand "Serious Relationship material Girls" don't accept date offers from anyone and everyone. They give a lot of thought , weigh all options seriously and accept date offers only after a lot of thought and consideration. The don't kiss or hug much , they talk a lot on most important things in life. They have a selection process to judge their suitors. They are looking for a man not for sex purpose only , but for a person who is willing and able to provide a long term support for a family. So hoke up material is for sex and relationship material is for marriage.

lualesca · Answer

Serious relationship material
- Mature (doesn't play games, doesn't beat around the bush or play hard to get)
- States what she wants, and what she doesn't want or what bothers her
- Likes to work but would be willing to work half time to devote more time to her children in the future
- She is loving, caring and nurturing
- She is feminine in all aspects, but she can switch into a more masculine role when needed (eg. businesses, leading a group of people, etc)
- You can talk to her about any topic, and she won't feel offended or uncomfortable
- She is beautiful physically, and has a great personality and character
- She had a good relationship with her parents, specially her father

CyberToothTiger · Answer

I want a woman for real , genuine love who is not materialistic.

How do i know a girls right for me? I go by her body language , the
language she uses. If she uses the words "Dick" "Cock" that is
complete turn off use the word "Penis" and we will talk.

If a girl says to me "Fuck Me" a complete turn off
tell me lets do it or wanna have some sexy time
that tells enough right there for me to know

A girl says my "Pussies Wet" a complete turn off
All i need to know is for to say, I'm wet down there
that is enough to tell me she is sexual stimulated.

Ephemera1 · Answer

Its actually pretty easy to spot someone who only wants sex, unless you know they good at the game.

-Extremely flirty
-Focuses only on your looks
-Tries to meet in private
-You don't meet his friends or family
-When you need his help he'll take forever to reply or say he's busy
-Fake as shit in general
Etc.

Hans222 · Answer

Probably the best signal you can get from a guy is that he's interested in you as a person. If he asks questions about what you like/dislike to do, to eat, where you'd love to go together, and so on, that's a very good sign :D
It means he's into you as a person and not into "having fun with that cutie"!

Anonymous · Answer

If I only wanted sex, I wouldn't have spoken to the woman I love for over a year now, knowing that I woldnt be able to have sex with her. She means more to me than just sex. She doesn't want to have sex with someone who isn't her husband but the bond between us is so strong, maybe one day we can finally meet, and make love to each other. She is Marriage material, nothing less than that.

Anonymous · Answer

Its not as much dependant on the girl as what the guy wants at the time. Every guy does have a type that is more appealing for a relationship, but that doesn't always mean much. You probably have a good idea what that is already.
There is no way to consistently know what a guy is after. To be honest, when our dick is doing the thinking we can be very good liars and very heartless.
A guy who is genuinely interested and a guy who is a very good liar will be basically the same, until guy #2 bails after getting laid.
Cruel, yes, but like I said, our brains aren't always doing the thinking.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

For me it would depend on how she carries herself. If she's the stuck up, high maintenance type, or the type that gets black out drunk at every party (or close to it) - hookup material. If she's anything else then relationship material.
I think her health and habits also come in to play - I could have sex with a smoker or an obese woman (fantasy) but I wouldn't date either.

Dim_121 · Answer

Hook up girl is one that might open her legs. A relationship material girl is one that has character, nice personality, pretty, mature. An easy way to tell if a guy just wants into your pants is to tell them that your waiting till your married for sex. Don't even let him touch you in any way sexual. Cause if he can get away with coping a feel on your leg, back, side. Then he will think that there is a chance that he can sneak his way into your pants.

ProbablyTooMature · Answer

For me it's less about the girl and more about where I'm at emotionally. The only exception is the last girl I dated... if she came around now I'd totally hook up with her but have no desire to be in a relationship with her any more. (But that's because I know for certain a relationship between us wouldn't work out... but the sex was... uh... maze... ing.)

helloitsmethere · Answer

Your guy friend is actually watching out for you. He wants you to be careful with some of the guys you are talking to and not get your heart broken by some random fuckboy...
My guy friends tell me (and my other friends who are girls) the same thing all the time. If someone is moving too fast on you, then they probably usually just want you for hookups and sex. If someone really wants to be in a relationship with you, they will take things step by step.

Dingsbums · Answer

It doesn't always depend on the girl. Some guys just don't want a serious relationship at all.
Some guys only want to be in a relationship with a girl they are in love with and they hookup with the other girls
And some guys hook up with good looking girls but don't want a relationship with them because they can't connect or have nothing in common
And some guys don't do hookups

hotstuffSRD · Answer

Don't mind me but your guy friend is dumb
No one should be labelled
The girls I slept with were attractive and seems interesting so it happened
They didn't want a relationship neither do I
So it was all about physical pleasure
Most guys do categorized girls on the basis of this shit
It's inappropriate

bloodmountain1990 · Answer

Hookup material means they're cute and you'd hookup with them but their personality isn't good enough for a relationship.

Relationship means you do find them physically attractive but think their personality is good enough to be with them.

Guys, what's the difference between a "Hookup material " girl and "serious relationship material " girl?

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