Girls, Really, really want to see my female best friend topless/naked?

[Griggijoe]

We've known each other 10 years. We love each other - we've agreed we're best friends. She's really accepting and forgiving, and though I'm not romantically attracted to her and don't want to have sex with her I'm really curious as to what she looks like naked. Would it be wrong to ask tentatively? I'm sure she'd forget about it quickly enough if it didn't work out. How likely is she to be ok with it?

[CheerGirl38139]

I think what you're asking might be more or less "common" for the male brain... however... this is why IMHO, that it is very, VERY, difficult for males and females to be "just friends".

I know that many, many people claim that they have a "best guy friend" or "best girl friend" and I know that can be true sometimes... but (and again only MY opinion)... that if the guy is heterosexual, there comes a point where his normal male libido sees her as sexual, even if his brain is powerful enough to override his natural instincts.

I think you need to be honest with yourself. You would not have any interest in seeing your "best friend" naked if he was another dude. So, there has to be some repressed sexual attraction there, even if you are convinced that you'd never act on it. Your libido is suggesting "FWB". Good luck.

[Griggijoe]

Thank you very much for your sensitivity :)

[CheerGirl38139]

My pleasure. :)

[CheerGirl38139]

Hey... girl who down voted me... I'm not telling the dude that he should ask his friend to show him her boobs. I'm suggesting to him that he needs to be honest with himself. He said he's not attracted to her, and he doesn't want to have sex with her.

I agree with the rest of the girls that unless she also wants him as a friends with benefits, then he's chancing screwing up the friendship trying to see her naked.

[CheerGirl38139]

LOL... God... why do I bother.

I agree that he's sexually attracted to her, and that trying to see her naked is a BAD idea.

[SarahsSummer]

I think you added some good insightt and up voted you accordingly.

[CheerGirl38139]

@SarahsSummer Thanks. It's not that I GAF about down votes... but in some cases... like this one... I'm left scratching my head like WTF? How could me explaining in more detail to him why he might be feeling this way, and that he's needs to get honest with himself be a bad thing?

I simply agree that it's a BAD idea... I just tried to do a better job of explaining WHY.

Anyway... whatever... again I ask myself why do I bother? LOL

[SarahsSummer]

If we let every moron on here get to us, we'd spend all day banging our head on the wall. You gave the asker some things to think about, the rest can gft

[moistycakes]

I've seen pretty much all of my friends naked over the years. If she's comfortable with it, it will happen. Whether it be she's showering and you go in to brush your teeth or you both go skinny dipping or whatever! If my friend asked just out of curiosity I might be weirded out but maybe not, depends on the relationship I have with the person. Nakedness doesn't have to be sexual and it's normal to be intrigued. One of my best friends is gay and had never seen a vagina and was curious and I offered to show him mine, so I did, he looked for a few seconds and that was it. I'd say you have a 30% or less chance of her saying yes, but if you approach it right maybe more. Most people think nakedness has to be sexual, chances are she is one.

[Joe1997]

Normally, no girl would like to do that with a male friend. Only very, very, extremelly open-minded girl (still very very rare). However there are always exceptions.

If you really want to do and very very confident that you understand your relationship with your female friend, you might try. But you will have to take a risk that things can be out of control because guys usually dont understand girls as they think they are. Of crouse, maybe nothing big will happen :))

Anyway, your relationship, your choice :)) good luck!

[DocRim]

No matter how close I am to a male friend if he asked that I would flip and never see him the same anymore. Then again, we can't really know how that girl is like with you maybe she's comfortable with being topless. I'd say the average girl isn't likely to show herself naked to a male friend, if she really views him as a friend only.

[SarahsSummer]

If you insist on seeing your friends boobs you will make the relationship awkward. as women, we love having guy friends that we know aren't sexualizing us. One reason we have gay friends. That alone creates a comfort level between you. Are seeing her breasts really worth it to alter, reduce or eliminate the comfort you two share?

[BellePepper]

IF this is true, you're a terrible friend. Who does that to a FRIEND? If you ask her to see her boobs, you might as well plan on losing your friend.

[Griggijoe]

'You're a terrible friend.'
Thanks. That's made me feel a lot better. We're really close friends and this wouldn't damage the friendship at all. Do you know her better than I do?

[BellePepper]

If you were a GOOD friend, these kind of thoughts wouldn't go through your head at all because you would actually respect your friend.

if you really thought it wouldn't "damage the friendship at all" you wouldn't be on here asking.

[Griggijoe]

Listen - I don't mean to be aggressive but I think you misunderstand the human mind. I can't just snap my fingers and stop wanting something. If I could, I would, but I can't. If that were possible, most of the world's problems will be solved. I'm a bad friend because of thoughts I can't control? I respect her enormously.

[BellePepper]

No, I know what being a good friend is and good friends don't ask to see one another's breasts or genitals. You need to be honest with yourself and examine if that kind of behavior is really what you want to add to your friendship.

[Griggijoe]

'I know what being a good friend is.' No, you know what YOU would think of as a good friend. You don't know her or our friendship.

[BellePepper]

We already established that if you really thought it would be okay to ask your friend to see her boobs, you wouldn't be here asking this question. So if I'm saying no to the things you already know you shouldn't do, that makes me a good friend. Like I said. Examine why you're thinking about this and why you would ever think it was okay.

[Griggijoe]

Because she is not a monumental prude.

[BellePepper]

Hey, bro you can get as angry about it as you want. Stomp your tiny little baby foot even. But you still know I'm right. IF you thought it was okay to ask, you would not have posted this question.

[Griggijoe]

'Stomp your tiny little baby foot'? Why are you being so insensitive? This is seriously damaging my life

[BellePepper]

Maybe you shouldn't call people names and they'll be nicer to you. If the internet is "damaging" your life, you need to take a break and think about why people telling you "don't do the think you know you shouldn't do" is damaging you.

[Griggijoe]

It's not you saying this that's damaging me, it's my obsessive curiosity with her body. You're undermining it and calling me a baby.

[BellePepper]

"my obsessive curiosity with her body" Seek professional help. You sound like a rapist about to happen.

[Griggijoe]

I absolutely hate the very thought of sex, so that's definitely not the case.

[BellePepper]

"my obsessive curiosity with her body"

I don't believe you.

[Griggijoe]

Well it's true. I've never had sex, never wanted to, never been curious about what it is like to have sex, never masturbated or come close to masturbating in my entire life and think all of it is repulsive.

[BellePepper]

Then why are you trying to convince us that you have this incurable sexual need?

[Griggijoe]

It is not a sexual need. Have you never been curious about an object? Perhaps you haven't, but undeniably many people have.

[CheerGirl38139]

Hold up now... you're seriously trying to tell us that you're a 21 year old male that has "NEVER" masturbated and refuses to? I was trying to empathize with you to the best of my ability until you stated that. Come on man...

[SarahsSummer]

@CheerGirl38139 yeah, I call bullshit on this guy.

[Griggijoe]

@CheerGirl38139 See, this is everyone's response. Yes, I am a 21 year old male who has never masturbated. I have a fear of snapping my cock in half by accident. I know that's irrational but it's still a fear I have. I don't like to touch my genitals unless absolutely necessary. Are you seriously going to generalise guys that much as to say ALL young men masturbate? Can't you see how bloody unreasonable that is? What if I said all young women were golddiggers?

[tellmefantasies]

@CheerGirl38139 some people can actually be like that. believe it or not. but yes, hard to imagine. well, I know of girls, but perhaps guys too? maybe.

@Asker why are you objectifying your friend?

[Griggijoe]

@tellmefantasies Her body is an object. Everyone's is. I don't see the problem with admiring the beauty of the body rather than just dismissing it as unimportant.

[tellmefantasies]

@Asker then ask her how she feels when she's being objectified by other men.

[Griggijoe]

@tellmefantasies We've discussed that. She says she doesn't really feel objectified and if she is, she doesn't care

[CheerGirl38139]

dude don't get all butt-hurt. I don't care one way or the other about your personal sexual taste, no anyone else. And please don't analogize "all women are gold diggers" with guys masturbating. Not even in the same time zone.

@tellmefantasies I've just never heard of anyone... especially males... that didn't at least TRY it (once or twice even) during puberty or shortly thereafter. Never even attempting to touch your genitals when it feels good, even if only in discovery mode, just doesn't add up to me. Maybe you try it and THEN find it repulsive, but never trying it... you'd not be able to even arrive at that thought.

@Asker I gave you a legitimate answer that no one else did... even though I agree with the other girls that it's a bad idea, at least I attempted to empathize with you. You're welcome. I only (still) suggest that you be honest with yourself.

[tellmefantasies]

@Asker then what about being objectified by the people she cares about or is close to?

[Griggijoe]

@CheerGirl38139 I do appreciate that, thank you - but I have honestly never tried it

[Griggijoe]

@tellmefantasies Her body is an object. That's just a fact. So's mine. So's everyones.

[tellmefantasies]

@CheerGirl38139 I can say for myself that I never masturbated till I was 19 myself. Felt disgusted/uncomfortable, at the same time curious. But never really until I felt sexual desire towards my current SO of 5 years. Really depends on personality and also culture/how you've been brought up. I know my SO does not masturbate because he feels having desire to my absence is weird and not 'right', despite the fact that we're in an LDR the past 2.5 years. I know how his mind works, so it's not unimaginable to me that there would be guys out there who have never masturbated even at 25. If there can be virgins who are 30+, why not people who've never masturbated?

[CheerGirl38139]

@tellmefantasies I guess it's possible. But it must be fairly rare.

Just doesn't add up for me that even as young children, you touch something that feels good... you're going to try it... even if you later on deem it to be "wrong".

[tellmefantasies]

@Asker allright. Justified that the body is an object. Have you ever considered wanting to see your mom's/sister's body?

I guess my question to you is to ask you to address where your desire is rooting from. What is this urge based on? How was it generated?

[BellePepper]

No one's body is an object and if OP wants to try and tell us he thinks they are and his "friend" is okay with it he's a bad friend and a liar. What kind of friend tells you it's okay to think of yourself that way?

[9mfeo]

I think she's likely to see that as a betrayal and a violation of your relationship. I don't imagine you'll still be welcome anywhere near her if you make that request.

[Griggijoe]

I think I will - she is very forgiving, as I've said.

[9mfeo]

I don't think that this is something anyone could forgive, unless she has been lobotomized.

[Griggijoe]

I've had quite a violent shouting fit at her before and she's had several at me. With respect, I think you're extremely sensitive and have never had a close friendship with anybody.

[9mfeo]

With respect, I think that you don't understand why having a fight is different from being sexualized.

[tellmefantasies]

Forgiveness is very different than being uncomfortable. She may be uncomfortable, but agree because of your friendship, and then force herself to forgive you. Just because people are forgiving does not mean that it's easy for them to forgive.

If you're not unconsciously attracted to her yet, have you considered that she may be attracted to you or will develop feelings towards you after this request? Really depends on what you want happening.

[Griggijoe]

@tellmefantasies Are the really the sort of person who cuts off a ten-year close friendship because the friend asked politely if he could see your breasts?

[tellmefantasies]

not cut off.
But feel awkward: yes.
Because it suddenly brings in the idea of sexual attraction in the middle of a platonic relationship.
Chances are you guys might step over it and be friends as usual again, but there will be a pause, there will be a question. She will start to think if you have secret feelings for her. Or suddenly see you sexually rather than platonically.

[9mfeo]

@tellmefantasies or, if he is actually her friend or just some horn dog trying to get in her pants.

[tellmefantasies]

@9mfeo nah, he said there's a 10 yr friendship between them. She won't consider him a horn-dog wanting to get in her pants all of a sudden. But it will throw her off and she will wonder why he's asking this. Whether he's fallen in love with her and doesn't know about it. Because suddenly she'll face his sexual gaze.

[9mfeo]

@tellmefantasies who is to say that he has never had sexual feelings for her before this point? He is lying to himself if he thinks he doesn't. He is also lying to himself if he thinks she's just going to be okay with him now seeing her as a sexual object.

[tellmefantasies]

Well, that is something this guy has to realise himself. If he's never considered, he will now.
I guess he posted this question cos he was uncomfortable with himself, but at the same time, seeking validation for his desire.

We don't know his or her history and psychology, so we can only make assumptions.

[BreatheMe19]

This is retarded. Just keep being curious if you want her as a friend any longer.

[Griggijoe]

It's tearing me apart though. Please be more sensitive than to just call me retarded.

[BreatheMe19]

I didn't call you retarded. I called what you're asking retarded. There's a difference.

Also, quit being melodramatic. They're just boobs. Google naked girls im sure they look similar.

[Griggijoe]

You've never been a guy, have you? It isn't that simple

[BreatheMe19]

No I don't recall ever being a guy.

[Griggijoe]

If a guy you'd been with for 10 years cheated on you, would you appreciate me telling you to 'quit being melodramatic' and get another guy because all of us are similar?

[BreatheMe19]

You're comparing being cheated on in a 10 year relationship to wanting to see your friends boobs? Dude get out...

[Griggijoe]

Yes, I am. Again, you've clearly never been inside the mind of a straight guy. It is a very significant thing, and all boobs are different and unique.

[BreatheMe19]

K bye.

[Kookoo4cocopuffs]

I swear if a friend of mine asked to see my boobs and then said just curious I would laugh my damn ass off

[Griggijoe]

See, that's reasonable. Everyone else is saying they'd delete a ten-year friendship at the drop of a hat. Laughing's fair enough.

[Anonymous]

The chances of her showing you her boobs is not very high. Unless you want the friendship to get a bit awkward.

[mishiii]

Send me your email I'll send you a picture of me topless. You are risking the entire friendship

[Anonymous]

She will take it that you want to fuck her. Why else would u wanna see her naked. I mean maybe you haven't accepted it yet but you do want to fuck her. A small part of you maybe.