My insecurities and trust issues are ruining my relationship?

[Anonymous]

How do I overcome it? Its not so much that I don't trust him but I catch myself questioning a lot of things. For example I see old pictures of ex's on his phone and I question him about it why are they there? It's not like he's keeping them and looking at them and reminiscing. He said he doesn't have time or patience to go one by one and deleting them. He said I'm more then welcome to go through them and delete them myself. I just question a lot of things and he gets upset because he feels like I don't trust him. It almost caused us to break up because it's not the first time I did it.

[StewieRH]

I can understand how you feel because I worry about things with my boyfriend too. If he says you can delete the photo's yourself then he obviously doesn't care about them, delete them if it makes you feel better. I keep panicking my boyfriend will like someone else more than me but not leave me because of it so keep telling him to leave me if he ever does but he keeps saying he only likes me, I'm the one for him and he won't like anyone else. He told me I needed to trust him but it's hard for me without solid proof and he asked what would prove it and I wanted him to change his relationship status but was too shy to ask about it. I started worrying again yesterday and he asked if we could stop talking about it now because we are boyfriend and girlfriend and it was annoying him. I suppose we just need to try and relax more about our boyfriends. I'm just going to try and believe in what he tells me now unless there's any reason to question it. It may be difficult but we are both going to have to try.

[Cmasterson]

It's not easy handling someone who questions everything you do, if you're getting mad or upset about something so small who knows what else you'd get mad at. You literally have to stop questioning everything, just because you're thinking it doesn't mean you have to say it outloud, i'm not saying hold back all the time.. but it's a bit much. If he isn't doing anything wrong and showing you that you are his etc then just go with it! Best of luck

[ak666]

Remember that you can't lock your lover 24/7. Many things will go on behind your back, and his ability to stay faithful to you is going to hinge largely on how much he cares about you and values the relationship.

You only serve to degrade that by being so insecure.

If you want to build up trust in each other, you have to communicate your feelings a lot, gently, not through confrontation. Hug him, snuggle up with him in bed, and try to do a regular therapy of just sharing each other's thoughts.

Every time you want to confront, try not to. Calm down, breathe, and gently talk. Remember, you can't sustain a relationship without trust. It's not really about honesty (though you usually need that for trust), it's about trust.