He has 3 other girls as his 'best friends' on Snapchat?

[Anonymous]

My (online) boyfriend showed me his snapchat list today and there were 3 girls on the list that were his 'best friends' on there (the smiling/blushing emoji). Now I snapchat him every day, and he almost never snaps me, but yet he snaps these girls pretty often apparently? I find that a bit suspicious. He got angry when I asked who they were. I don't know but I have a bad gut feeling about this. I don't trust it one bit. I know you can have a girl friend/guy friend without things being beyond just friends, but I have a bad feeling about it deep down. Suggestions?

[CosmicallyCombined]

Shady. It’s one thing that he makes a daily effort to invite and include these women into his life via social media more so than he seems to do with his own girlfriend. An angry, defensive response to your simple curious questioning is another red flag. That makes me suspect he has either f*cked at least one of these three females, wanted to or dated them previously or tried and failed to date them previously. As his girlfriend, you have every right to know who he surrounds himself with because realistically, it could impact you eventually.

My suggestion? Walk away. Usually when a significant other becomes defensive or angry after doing something shady, they have something to hide and there’s some mess you’re going to get dragged into. Absolute respect and courtesy is also important in a relationship so when you are not being shown that, it’s probably an indication that the person you’re dealing with lacks respect and courtesy…do you really have time to be teaching a grown ass man the ABC’s of respect and courtesy? -_- Do you really want to be looking over your shoulder on Snapchat to see how shady and sneaky your boyfriend is being? Eff that. Do your future self a favor and find someone better.

[Asker]

I agree. When I was talking to him about it earlier, he went on about how "you not trusting them is saying you don't trust me. If you trusted me, there's nothing to worry about.". When I brought up him snapping them more than he snapped me, he changed the subject and turned it back around on me again. It's definitely possible that he's cheating. But I can't be 100% Sure. However, I agree with you, and I will walk away. I think that I deserve to know who they are at the very least. I always tell him who the guy friends I talk with are. I didn't get mad when he asked me before. He has been acting differently the past few weeks too. No use stressing myself out over some cheating jerk. I'll leave. Thank you for your advice. I'm glad you agree with me.

[CosmicallyCombined]

Trust is earned, not something that he is entitled to for the simple sake of having the title of your boyfriend. Trust is something he has to prove to be worthy of which is the exact opposite of what he’s doing by behaving that way. Not only that, but that comment of his is very manipulative. Instead of answering a simple question and being honest about who these females are that he gives daily effort and attention to, he attempted to turn the situation onto you and suggest that the problem is you not trusting him. When in fact the problem is him giving specific other women more effort, attention, and energy on social media than he shows to you when you attempt to connect on Snapchat. He is EXTREMELY MANIPULATIVE for that. Red flag number 3.

[CosmicallyCombined]

Smh, he really just tried to manipulate you into forgetting about his shady, angry, defensive behavior and question yourself instead. Not cool.

I’m glad that you seem to have the self-respect to not fall for his manipulative, shady BS. Don’t wait around for him to drag you into some sleazy, shady nonsense and just be in the passenger’s seat of your life while he’s driving! I recommend leaving him immediately. Like tomorrow. Lol Dump him then delete and block him from everywhere. You could tell him as to why and say, “I need a man who’s open and honest with me about who is in his life and doesn’t get defensive with me or try to turn a situation on me when I ask questions.” Or you could really take a stab at his ego and dump him with no explanation then ice him out by deleting, blocking, and essentially ignoring any of his attempts to reach out.

[Asker]

Yep. It's funny, my friends have said the same thing about him being manipulative. He says he's not, but he truly is. I don't want that. Whether or not he's really cheating, it's too much drama for me. I think I can do better than that jerk. I wish it could've worked, but he won't change. I just dumped him. He can go treat one of his other girls like that now I guess.

[CosmicallyCombined]

Oh, please Lol, that is manipulation 101. Him trying to take the spotlight off of him and his actions and instead attempting to shine the spotlight onto you and your actions when you did nothing wrong and HE is the one who earned the side eye. -_- That is him trying to control the situation in a skillful manner in addition to trying to influence your mind to thinking in a way that’s unfair. It’s unfair for you to question if YOU are the problem when he in fact is creating a problem on a daily basis.

I’m proud of you! So many girls fall into the charming cycle of drama and BS that disrespectful boyfriends create. You deserve better than his unnecessary, ridiculous drama that he starts then pretend to not be responsible for

[Asker]

Yeah, I see no issue with questioning each other on that kind of stuff. It's no reason to get mad. I have guy friends, yes, and I don't mind a guy having girl friends either, but when he gets angry and defensive like that over it, it's fishy. He also refused to add me on Facebook always, and that was another red flag for me. He knows who all my guy friends are, yet never once told me who any of his 'female friends' are. He even told me the other week that "I'm gonna talk to girls. That's just how it is. If you don't like it, you can leave.". So he made up his mind then I guess haha. He even accused ME of being the manipulative one. Lol please guy... Oh well. I'm glad it's over. That's a lot I don't need to stress over now! I pity the next girl that gets stuck with him though, that's for sure.

[CosmicallyCombined]

WTF. Why would he REFUSE to add you on Facebook? The more about him you share, the more red flags just pop up! His rude comment also just makes him look like he is incapable of fulfilling your mental and emotional desires by being so unwilling to hear your concerns or consider your comfort level. It’s odd that he wasn’t even willing to compromise.

[Asker]

He said it was "because of people he didn't trust". I call BS on that. I see no reason not to add someone unless he was up to something on there, which he probably was. He did have his nice/sweet moments, but in the past few weeks when problems came up, he refused to talk about them and would say stuff like "I'm not getting involved in your drama". He had recently quit his job and said he was gonna spend a lot more time with me, but instead slept most of the day. When I kindly asked him to change his sleep schedule some so we could do more together, he got mad and said he didn't want to talk. I feel like the cheating started a few weeks ago when he started acting differently. Oh well, I guess it's for the best that it's over now. He had some ex he's known online for 10 years that he can't get over, and he refused to let go of her, even when I gave him the ultimatum (me or her). I don't feel like I was EVER his top priority. Nothing more than an object that he cared slightly for at best

[CosmicallyCombined]

Wow, he sounds such a shitty, lame boyfriend

[Anonymous]

I would say go with your gut. It is very fishy when he will message other girls but not his girlfriend; your boyfriend should have you as a priority over other girls.

[hotstuffSRD]

Umm talk to him if his answers will be unreasonable then leave him 😶