Submissive at heart, with a little bit of sass and stubbornness on top - is that super unattractive to men?

[Anonymous]

At heart, I really want to be submissive... but (admittedly) because of some pride... I'm also a bit sassy and stubborn! I can't help myself! As much as I want to just be a 'yes' girl and be submissive, I have a streak of fight in me! That said, I do want a guy who dominant enough to handle my sassy/ stubborn streak! Nothing sexier to me than a man who knows how to take control and can make me feel like I don't need to sass or stubborn-ness to protect myself! I love feeling safe and protected, it really makes me feel feminine. I don't quite understand it myself to be honest. Lol.

But it I feel like these qualities can be so contradictive to a guy... my last relationship ended because I wasn't submissive enough for him. It was discouraging to me, should I change? Or is there a guy out there who finds my kind of balance attractive?

[Mynameisnottolong]

The submissive and dominant roles eh, personally it can be hot to be contradicting. They are difficult roles to master, I can't wait for 50 shades (yes I'm a guy and I am the dominating type but as equally romantic ). I suggest you give being submissive to your next guy for one day and see how you like it, surely you can do it for one day. If you must be stubborn do it when no one is looking. But being stubborn while being submissive is a huge turn on (for me at least) look up DDLG I think it means daddys little girl. In order to help you understand the role of submissiveness read some stories on the subject. Maybe if you are brave enough, try and find a guy (you are comfy with) and do some roleplay messaging.

[originaluser]

I think most men like sass. I do. Stubborness just means you have your own opinions. Obviously a super controlling partner isn't going to appreciate that.

Feeling safe and protected is normal. Very normal dynamic. Sounds like your previous boyfriend was a little too controlling. You have to find the right balance for you.

[Asker]

Yeah, I feel like it's no fun if there isn't a little bit of a challenge involved!

[originaluser]

The world would be a very boring place if everybody shared the same opinion. That sounds like a nightmare to me. Which means everybody would think the world was a nightmare

[natured]

You should NOT change my dear, I am just like you, and after many dates and failures, the man that could hold up with me and have me under control found me, he takes good care of me and he loves the fact that i am stubborn.

You should just wait for the right man to come and change your world around you, NOT YOU and YOUR CHARACTER. Hold tight to yourself, don't allow people to change you.
Good luck

[CrystalChild]

I find that normal. You don't like taking charge but don't take crap. Nothing wrong with that.

[GraveTruth]

They are not contraindicative. sassy and stubborness is a submissive personality trait.

Even in the BDSM communities, stubborness is one of the many awesome personality traits individuals with dominent fetishes look for. It basically means you need correction, guidance, or to be controlled (in a good way).

[Tdieseler]

You just need an Alpha. wouldn't call it balance though. More hide-and-go-seek.
you need someone who can be able to bring you down to submit or give you a reason to. you like the fight.
sadly... most are players. so its your call.
I'd recommend just saying this upfront. Cuz im a tamer... but not every guy is.

[ThisDudeHere]

There is always a right guy out there for you. It's just a matter of luck finding him - but you should never change yourself for others. Do it for you. That is, if you even need to.

[Curiousguy99]

Most guys don't know what it means to be dominant anymore we live a such a passive society honestly don't change just look for more confident guys look for the guy in the group who everyone seems to love but is the most dominant has the stories goin makes his friends laugh calls them retards when they do something stupid etc it's not hard to spot these guys just saying

[Levin]

You sound good to me. No deal breakers yet :)

Yes, you need to be able to stick up for yourself when necessary. Being a complete pushover is unhealthy.

[zorro8888]

I prefer that to be honest... the full submissive traits always bored me.

[samcool092]

balance is needed in these things. but make sure you don't hurt a guy while trying to prove yourself.

[Browneye57]

Naw, you just need a little stronger guy. They're turning them out really weak these days. LOL.

[dolemite68]

u sound like the perfect balance of sassy and sweet tbh thats super attractive to me

[DaddiesLittleToy]

I don't like that personally but to each their own. 👍 Just be yourself.

[realworld2017]

Fuck that is hot to manly men. If you are hot woman you can be my kitten.

[DemiDog]

You're over thinking it. BSDM is a fantasy anyway. You lacked the fundamentals of a relationship.

[Nojudge]

Men can be sullen and stubborn too.

[datgirl]

Haha that kinda sounds like me 😅

[Blitzkrieger]

Thats good. Its not fun if she's a push over.