I'm sorry for what you're going through too. I can rate to how you feel. This happened to me a while ago. I knew he was playing me and stinging me along , but I still pretended I believed every word. At the time I felt lonely and it felt good to feel wanted, loved and cared about even though I knew he wasn't genuine. It felt good being fooled for a short while. I created an illusion to take me away from the loneliness I felt at the time.
When you are dealing with someone who is stringing you along, they are often thinking more about themselves than about anyone else. They believe that they can continue misleading you in making you feel like you have a chance because they enjoy the feeling of satisfaction that they get by knowing that you like them so much. Some people can totally feed off this kind of reception. It is an enormous boost to their ego. The person being strung along only ends up hurt and emotionally broken. You're left feeling confused and dumbfounded
Your task is to take that power back. So get rid of his number. He has already shown you how callous and uncaring he is about your feelings.
You now know what he's all about. . He strung you along because he knew they could.
He knew that he could exert this kind of power over you and have his way.
Somewhere deep inside most people know they are being strung along, but they ignore the signs , and allow themselves to be fooled, because it takes them away from their own ordinary lives. It feels good for that moment. If they were naive to the fact they were being strung along , then their trust was misplaced and that's a flaw in the players character , not the person being played
The thing is with me is I still care about the guy who played me , but I think it's the false side he showed me that I cling to. I care about the illusion of him which he created to play me
It took me a while to recover and get over him, the hurt and the emotional instability. It was my first relationship and it hit me hard. I tried way too much for someone who never gave me much effort back.
I eventually turned to my own life. I began getting into a new hobby and working on things I enjoy. I was unhappy at my old job which made it worse, so I decided it was time to work on myself and start finding my own happiness again.
I wish it didn't take me as long as it did to realize that my own happiness, pride, and self acceptance means more than anything else ever will. I eventually got a new job, met some new people and went to school. I worked hard and accomplished nearly everything I wanted to, which gave me a better sense of myself, and my needs, wants, and goals in life.
I stayed out of the dating scene for years, until I began crushing on my best guy friend. Turns out he felt the same way about me, and though I never realized it, I always had a soft spot for him in my heart. He helped me through my breakup, as did a few other close friends and famiy. Eventually, through all the pain and sadness, I became a better me in the end.
I feel like that bad relationship made me realize how strong of person I am, how patient I am. Looking back, seeing how far i've come now showed me that I am doing just fine and I know I will always be ok in the end, no matter what life brings this way.
Best wishes to you.
I hope you're okay, and I hope you stay strong too.
Let me say this from my personal experience. It depends on how you personally FEEL about that person. Was what you felt for the right reasons or for the wrong reasons? Was it real authentic love for that person or was it purely lust based? You won't know unless you uncover those deep roots about yourself and how much do you value yourself. Because when I had that happened to me basically as a young child, it hurt me A LOT more as an adult to the point I kept asking questions: why? I was not interested in that person for dating in the future. I was only in Kindergarten and him in pre-school. It took me till 21/22 years old to realized how I actually felt about him. But I was treated so badly by the now young man who was once a boy, I tend to end up seeing many versions of him in other guys. In truth, you can never forget that person, or how you felt, even with distance. Moving on begins with acceptance of your feelings and begin to make change about your perception of the situation. Learn from your mistakes and then let go of it.
From a relationship coaching lens, here are some thoughts:
1) If they strung you along, it's less about getting over them and more about getting over the fact that someone strung you along. Why? Because you will naturally have your guard up when you start dating the next person.
2) Now, let's talk about how you get over this.
*Find healthy and productive ways to occupy your time. This is not about things that just fill your time but things that are meaningful to you. This may be time with friends, doing something active outside, going to social functions. It's important that we don't allow our mind to wander back to the negative experiences that got us to where we are. Find things to fill it.
*If it really is about the person, think about how thankful you are that they did it now instead of later. Meaning, it sucks that it happened BUT the earlier it happened, the less overall time it had in your life. Also, think about the negative attributes that this person had and how thankful you are that you are not going to have those in your life.
3) Detach blame. We often hang onto pain that someone brought on us because we beat ourselves up for trusting the person or for 'letting them do this to us'. Remember: They did it. The only thing we can control is how we respond afterwards.
It's not easy. I do know that playing the single life is good for the loneliness. if there's someone you think is attractive. go have some protected fun. fun gets you out of that state. I was in that same situation. but I still needed to live. Having fun takes your mind off harsh things in life. That is how I personally got over her. But now I am dating again for about a year now. she is great. My last break up that broke my heart. Forced me to think about what I need in the relationship. I even knew what to ask my new girlfriend? I asked what her intentions are in the relationship. what her goals are. and she matches a lot of my goals and we work together. but there are so many differences between us and I love her for it.
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Cut them out my life. It's the best way to move on for me. It's not that I wish him any ill will but more on wishing him well but just things aren't working out and I'd accept that and walk away. Cutting someone off is good for my own peace of mind. And you get to be selfish in taking care of yourself especially after he led you on when there really wasn't anything there. I wouldn't want to be anyone's safety net so I'd walk away because stringing someone along is selfish. People tend to string people along because they dont appreciate fully what they have and try to look for others who are assumed to be much better but just in case that fails they'd still have you as a back up option. I wouldn't disgrace myself like that. It will only hurt for a short while then you'll be okay. Because you deserve so much more 💕
I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...
An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...
Breakups happen for a reason...
I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...
Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?
Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.
ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.
This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.
Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.
Well I wouldn't obviously recommend hooking up cause it can bring up emotions. But hanging out with friends, flirting, talking, just filling your time up and getting a lot of company to move on with your life and try to forget is probably the best approach :).
I'm sorry you're going through that *hugs*
Well it just takes time to forget. It helps when you have no contact with them. I do yoga... it helps keep a present mind, not on the past. Also the ones who hurt you the most are the most difficult teachers and they always teach something about you. Be happy for who you are and the more you become your better self the sooner the right one will come along.
Keep yourself busy. Ideally with those who care about you, family and friends. Spend time with them and forget about the person who's strung you along. A lot of us have been through this and it can be painful, but hang in there you'll be fine! 😊
That's a tough one, I don't know the answer. I was dating a girl who I really liked, and I though she really liked me too but one day she just stopped talking to me, lost interest I guess. Its been several months now and I'm still hurt and think about her everyday wondering what happened to make her lose interest. Wish I knew how to get over her but I don't.
fdisk > format > reinstall
Avoid installing programs with malware again
I made that my strength to rise above all as a revenge
Interact with them only as necessary. Treat it like a difficult customer at work, be polite but don't try to be their best buddeh.
Time and distance from that person. Cut off ALL contact.
focus on doing things you love met new friends who share your interest and after awhile you won't care about him it will take a little bit of time but that should work
Start dating new people. Stay busy. If you have hobbies do those. You'll forget about them. Move on with your life.
I was strung along too seemed like my ex used me as a back up plan while she cheated with a guy or guys behind my back. Sucks but you gotta move on.
Feel like shit, convince myself I hate them, then talk to them and realize they aren't that bad, then friendzone.
I don't tend to forget people who are important to me.
Find someone new to flirt with
find something you love to do! and embrace yourself
It was difficult but just not looking for that person helped. Keeping my mind distracted from him. Time helped a lot.
it's getting over everything will. go out talk with friends. it's ok to habe feelings
By going on to the next one, best cure.
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