I don't feel butterflies when I'm with my boyfriend. What to do?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating this guy for 10 months now. Because of the distance we meet at weekends and usually spend some hours together. We are constantly chatting on facebook/phone at weeks, though. He is such a nice guy, really caring and loving. We two share very similar personalities, views and hobbies. However, it has started seeming to me that he is more of a friend than a lover of mine. I still miss him and am eager to meet him after long long week, however, I don't feel those butterflies in my stomach whenever he hugs me. I don't burst into tears when we're saying goodbyes to each other as well. Why is it so? Is it distance to be blamed for? I still consider him to be really important to me, I care of him a lot, I enjoy spending time with him, and that's it. What can I do? Is it possible to mend our relantionship or is it already doomed?

[Map4Territory]

A spark lights a fire, it does not keep it lit.

All of this depends on what butterflies mean to you. I've heard people say similar things about their boyfriend, when in reality they couldn't just admit to themselves they didn't like him anymore. I've also seen it used by people who spend more time focusing on the narrative and drama of the relationship instead of focusing on their partner, which is not a great habit.

The butterflies will diminish for everyone at some point. If you are in a good relationship, they probably should. What's left after they go away is what's important.

[Kurodo]

whats wrong with just acting normal, it doesn't have to be super special or anything. its not like omg this is the greatest food i have ever, you can just have it and enjoy it quietly. i dont think anyone would like it if you extra emotional about everything either. what im saying is... chill girllll, if you like him you like him if not then there's that.

[Missy990]

Distance creates some kind of alienation so much so when you eventually hang out. That built up anticipation fails to live up to what you thought it'd be. Boyfriends make good friends too. Being in a relationship isn't all about dramatic emotions ie crying your lungs out when you part or feeling these consuming emotions when you're together. Sometimes, that stillness is normal.

[SteppingOnRoses]

... you're overthinking it. I never felt butterflies yet I know I love him.

Butterflies isn't some super specific love symptom. It's mostly nervousness and anxiety. Take it like this... you are so comfortable around him that you dont need to feel anxious. ain't that great? Just allow yourself to sail the calm seas of deep mature love.

[angelicsakura]

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and I feel the same way. But I still love him and he's definitely who I'm meant to be with. You're probably just confused because the "honeymoon phase" is over.

[AskNaz]

After a while you grow accustomed to him.
If you leave you'll feel the butterflies initially with another guy, sure. But it'll eventually be the same again.
I wouldn't recommend judging your relationship on whether u get butterflies.

[madhatters4]

you've been together for 10 months. i think it's rather normal not to feel butterflies after 10 months in a relationship

[akadatank44]

Basing your relationship on "butterflies" will ultimately end in disaster every single time. Butterflies/honeymoon pahses always end.

[Ravibhrdwj]

Evaluate his presence with presence of other friends
If you feel
He is special for me
Then fine
Otherwise he is just a friend

[Asker]

I cannot compare him with anybody; I don't have much friends and he's my first real boyfriend ever

[Ravibhrdwj]

Okay, but can you think of him as a future partner?
Can you take care of the challenges against society for him?
If he wants will you give him intimacy?

Does he gets you excited?

[Asker]

I'm not sure, I sometimes think of him as a future partner, but there are times when I don't.
I don't mind giving him intimacy. In fact, I want it as well. However, not that much as I used to.

[Ravibhrdwj]

See you need to understand him and his importance in your life,
If you are in this much dilemma try to take break for sometime..
And then analyze
Or else you won't be able to understand the relationship

[Tbrewwman]

The fact you still get butterflies means there is still hope. Sit down and talk to him, as scary as it may seems, the best option is always to talk about it and k ow how the other person feels.

[Nightinggale]

Because being in love is an illusion that always ends this way.

[Anonymous]

If u don't feel special when you're with him then you are with the wrong person

[Asker]

I feel as if we were buddies. I enjoy spending time with him

[Opinion Owner]

Find someone who gets u excited. Time heals everything

[Asker]

It seems so. But I don't want to lose him.

[Opinion Owner]

Do u want to feel this way fir the rest of your life. Obviously not then do what needs to be done.

[Opinion Owner]

For*

[SteppingOnRoses]

Asker you're dramatizing this...

Im sure once you guys have sex you won't think the same lol i think whats missing is just some spice lol

[Anonymous]

whats the sex life like?