What does it mean to "put a woman on a pedestal"?

[MovesLikeJagger]

And why does it seem like this is always a bad thing? Why wouldn't a woman want to be put on a pedestal? What does it mean to "put a woman on a pedestal"?

[MrOracle]

"To put a woman on a pedestal" is a euphemism for "being socially and often sexually submissive" to her. It means you're afraid to tell her "no", and that you will tend to defer to her to make decisions and to set boundaries, etc. Instead of treating her like another person that you happen to care about, you treat her like she's an unobtainable, perfect being that you don't deserve to be spat on by.

The problem with that is that the vast majority of women DON'T WANT THAT. They actually want a DOMINANT man, a DECISIVE and CONFIDENT man who will make most/all of the decisions, who will take no crap from anyone (including, even especially, HER), and who will keep her under control when her emotions and hormones go crazy and she's likely to say or do something she'd regret later.

Women want to be RESPECTED, but they don't to be treated like a piece of fragile, priceless crystal. And they aren't turned on by spineless doormat men who are afraid to disagree with her or make a decision. Such men will dry up a vagina quickly.

Most women want their man to LEAD. Yes, they want him to be moral, and intelligent, and wise, and to keep her needs and desires in mind, but they still want HIM to make the decisions, and they're actually okay with not getting their way every single time - and it makes them appreciate the times when they DO get their way.

I didn't understand that when I was a teen - I couldn't wrap my mind around those concepts, but once I finally got it, dealing with women was immensely easier and more rewarding.

Part of the problem is that women tend to be bad at articulating this - and many will essentially lie about it or spin it to sound more politically correct - but what I've written is what most women long for - even if some can't admit it. (Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule.)

[MovesLikeJagger]

Yes, I like this. Another guy on here told me just the opposite, putting her on a pedestal is in effect objectifying her and treating her like arm candy. I think when this happens, the man is being dominant and the woman submissive. But if you're worshipping her like a goddess and being a Yes Man. .. then the roles are reversed. I don't think you can have it both ways. (Please see the comments of Mr. MysteryMan below, and let me know what you think. Thnx so much.)

[MrMysteryMan]

I've explained this before.

So what is a pedestal, first of all? A pedestal is a place we put our prized "possessions". Our trophies, our statues or "objects" we want to showcase as a museum would for public viewing, or private. So we put inanimate, material, objects that are only for show and to admire from a distance and are usually very delicate or extremely rare or unnatural on pedestals, right? (I hope you're catching the image here and understanding where I'm going with this).

So a woman, at least most, are not or don't think of themselves as just inanimate objects that don't have really any feelings or emotions of their own, and are just there for show and not to be touched or admired from afar or put showcased as a prized possession or a "delicate" piece of rare property or a trophy to show off. I know some like the idea of being a trophy wife or arm candy, but at the end of the day, women love to be touched, and held, and caressed, and conversed with. They want to be thought of more than just some prized trophy you won. They want to be more human than that. Not just some trinket that you put on a "pedestal" to be showcased off and then put back on again after you're done.

Don't quote me however on this, I could have it all wrong. ;)

[MovesLikeJagger]

Thanks, this is actually a slightly different take than what the majority have been saying thus far. Like you, I first thought the pedestal saying had something to do with objectification. But it may be more the opposite, in that she is so special and precious to you that you bend over backwards for her and cater to every whim. But not 100% sure yet, lol. We will see how this plays out.

[MrMysteryMan]

I believe it's a combination of the two. Or depending on how a woman views it, it's one or the other. But it's definitely not a normal way to treat a person.

[MovesLikeJagger]

Here's my take on why it has to be one or the other. Those are two opposite dynamics... objectification (as in arm candy or status symbol) or goddess worship (you're in awe of her, devotion). In the former situation, it's similar to a male dominant/female submissive dynamic whereas in the latter situation it's more submissive male/dominant female. But it can't be both. I dunno... still thinking about it. Thanks !

[MrMysteryMan]

Why can't you have both? Put it to you this way. If some guy, who just bought a shiny new, awesome, 4x4, or balls to the wall Mustang or Aston Martin; He polishes it daily. Covers it up at night. Chromes out the engine or jacks it up big and large for everyone to see (not for practical purposes because that's ridiculous); Get's mad when someone touches it or brings dirt into the car accidentally; But, drives around 20-30 mph everywhere or just around the neighbourhood, revving it or stunting sometimes, especially around women or in crowds, blaring the music to get more attention; Don't you think that he's objectifying that vehicle, and as well, showing it off as a status symbol or a purchased trophy?

So in this, he is both objectifying his prized possession, and it is something he worships and is devoted to how good it looks and makes him look.

[May10th1994]

I like being spoiled and being the Queen in my guys eyes. The problem is usually with the guys friends and people who don't understand what being in a loving and healthy relationship is like. My man and I are very lovey dovey and want to talk and spend time together, and he calls me such sweet names and wants to make me happy. Some people think that makes him whipped, which is weird.

I spoil him too and he's my King. ❤ I see nothing wrong in him looking at me and loving me as though I am a Queen, on a pedestal, because I look at him and love him the same way.

However: we are not blind to our problems. We are mature adults, and we talk through issues and apologize, forgive, and work on fixing things and moving forward.

[Megalicous55]

"Putting a woman on a pedestal" means you view her and treat her as above or better than you. This can be done in different ways. It can be a good thing or a bad thing. If done correctly, your woman will be very happy with you regarding her so highly and adoring her. But if you are clingy/needy about it (doing anything for her, being a yes man) then she will be put off eventually. Women and men need a challenge. A constant challenge. Even if they don't realize it. Make something too easy for them and it's not appealing anymore. Do things in moderation, compliments and doing things for her is great, just don't over-do it. Hope that helps :)

[nevermoregirl7]

When you put a woman on a pedestal, that means every little thing is about making her happy. This is bad because, what about you? Shouldn't you be happy once in a while. It's fine to treat your girlfriends with respect and love, but at least receive the same in return.

[MovesLikeJagger]

Thank you, this helps. I'm sure some girls like the attention though. So there are girls who will say, "Please let me step down from this pedestal. You are being way too nice to me. Please stop adoring me so much." I dont ever hear those words though.

[Megalicous55]

It has to be a give and take though. You can't just give give give and she isn't keeping up her end. It's hard to admit that but it's what's healthy and necessary to have a good relationship. Otherwise it seems you're being used :/

[snowangle]

Because we want our boyfriend to be our partner, our equal, and our friend. We don't want to feel like we're the queen and he's the servant. That's not a relationship lol.

Like make us feel special and loved, by all means! But don't go too far.

[MovesLikeJagger]

Thank you, this helps a lot. But once in a relationship like this, will a woman ever voice these concerns? Would you actually tell a boyfriend he's being too nice?

[Megalicous55]

I used to tell my ex he was too nice. But he still worshiped me and did anything I wanted! It's very hard to say no to that! Lol but eventually I did break up with him.

[MovesLikeJagger]

@Megalicous55 Yeah I can see how that would get tiresome. I will try not to be like that. Lol.

[Billlewis]

Maybe our goal is not to be your boyfriend; maybe we realize that you have a boyfriend but that you'd appreciate having someone who adores you and simply wants to acknowledge your very presence, without having any expectation of being intimate with you. I, for one, think that's incredibly beautiful.

[Billlewis]

I can understand why a lot of men often criticize the tendency of other guys to glorify the female by placing her on a pedestal and being naturally submissive to her, and I can also see how this could become tiresome for many women, especially if they're of above average attractiveness. For many of us, the urge to want to do this is so strong that we almost have no choice but to worship the ground a woman walks on.

What I think a lot of people don't realize is that we don't necessarily do this because we think it's going to help our chances of having sex with her, but simply because we enjoy worshipping the female.

[RJGraveyTrain]

You treat us like we're better than you, that isn't attractive. You are a valuable human being, and shouldn't ask yourself short. Besides, being on a pedestal makes you feel like people have unrealistic expectations of you. Once they realize you're a norma person they may be disappointed.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Sell yourself*

[kaylaS91]

Be 'putting a woman on a pedestal', or treating her like she's better than you simply because she has a vagina, it's inevitable that she'll start believing that to be the truth. So, when she starts abusing the privilege you've given her and treating you like shit, the only one to blame is yourself for having given her that power in the first place.

[slatyb]

Because it objectifies her. We feel most loved when we are fully known and still accepted. "Putting a woman on a pedestal" means that instead of loving and accepting her completely, flaws and all, the admirer pretends that she is perfect, flawless, changeless, and consequently never really knows her.

[CT_CD]

never approach a woman, at least i dont, i dont put pussy on a pedistile like dat so bitches dont project themselves in a way towards me that they somethin to be a worshipped, well if they do i just grin and say aight den, yo pussy gona rot away just like my dik gona rot away once we in da dirt, its just a part of my regime, like takin a fat duke, or takin a long piss in da mornin, just sumtin to get out da way, lost its mystery, ain't nuttin special. if u feel like walkin up 2 a bitch tho just be like yo whats up biatch. just da way i look it at it tho.

[MovesLikeJagger]

Is that the way you talk in real life? If that's true, you do a great job of writing how you talk. But if you actually talk like an English professor in real life, then you might have some 'splainin' to do. Lol.

[mooky06]

"Putting woman on a pedestal" = making a woman Queen. It's bad and often perceived as the guy being a pushover "Submissive" from what I understand about the topic.

Some woman may like that (dominate women). But a dominate guy would never support that. Especially with all this equality talk on GaG, it's often a tedious subject

[ItsAMeWeirdo]

It's means like worship her like you would God. She is more important than you and you do what she tells you. And your like a pet and she's the owner basically

[Máiiréad]

m.quickmeme.com/.../...3bf99847040f7cc38703de7.jpg

[MovesLikeJagger]

I dont see how this answers my question.

[Dwiller924]

I actually would love that tbh. I see ungrateful women get it all the time, I always wished to have that for once.

[AnonGiraffe]

Women don’t want to be the center of your world. They want you to be a leader in the relationship and life. You cannot be a leader if you see her as a goddess blessing her with your presence.

[Dude_91]

it kind of is a bad thing. she is just another human. it doesn't mean you can't be nice to her or something.

[RockyHammock]

It's when you're in love with the idea of being with your girl rather than the girl herself. So when her behavior inevitably deviates from your idea of her - you automagically turn a blind eye and don't call her out on her bs

[writing_essays]

I think it means to expect too much from her so that she becomes worried she can't live up to your standards.

[icandy4u]

not literally what women mean to say is they would like for you to put them first when considering a situation

[MrOracle]

That's not actually what the phrase means. Most women would like to have their needs and desires taken into account, and even put first sometimes, but that's not what "putting her on a pedestal" is about.

Rather, it's about treating her as if her desires are the ONLY think that's important, and never, ever contradicting her wishes (or, at least, what you perceive her wishes to be). And few women actually want that, because it means the man is a spineless jellyfish and a doormat - not at all who she wants to be with.

[Mysterioustruth]

You're missing the point here! Women want to be put on a pedastal but it's generally not a good thing do. She'll ride over you when you do this. A real would never consider doing this!

[dwiller943]

It means to spoil and pamper a woman like a queen.
And to also take it slow and EARN sex from her.

[Robin48]

To worship her. I do not worship woman. They walk on planet Earth as everyone else.

[Pomegranate139]

Cause if you put me up too high I might hurt myself trying to climb down

[Mayo503]

Centre of attention… I say
Sound right to you…?

[unicorniscool]

Hmmm... I am not so sure... 3bf99847040f7cc38703de7

[MovesLikeJagger]

If you're not sure, why did you bother to answer? What does that code mean? People are strange.

[Anonymous]

They only need a pedestal when it comes with a noose.

[Belgie]

Because then she will always look down on you.

[JosyJosy]

To treat us like we're above you.

[Anonymous]

It means that you become her personal bitch...