He loves both of us and does not want to choose!

[Anonymous]

He cheated on me for the past two years out our 4yrs and fallen in love with her. We both believe we were his only one and we found out about each other the same week. He begs me not to leave him and beg her the same thing. I love him dearly, and he tells me she will not accept if I get pregnant for him. So he is pressuring me to make a child with him asap. I never met his family, because am black and his family is racist, but his family love and adore her because she is white like them. He says if I get pregnant his family will have to accept me. but he still does not want to leave her! she is pressuring him for three of us to meet so he can tell me in front of her that he does not want me anymore; but he refuse to do this because he says he loves me a lot and will never put me through such pain, and also he would be lying to himself if he says he does not want me anymore; so he think she will leave and then I cud finally be introduce to his family. I ask him what if she does not want to leave, but his reply was that he is really embarrassed that he deceive us both and he is hurt and confuse about everything, he said she is innocent because he did not told her about me in the beginning. He can't tell me he will leave her but he is so sure about wanting a baby with me because he says he needs me to 4ever be in his life. and he says knows he is a horrible man because treats me like she was there before me,its not a nice feeling. he does not live with either of us however she is his next door neighbor and I live 10mins drive away. I try to leave him last night but he convince me to stay and wait it out until he figure this whole thing out. Yet last night he come inside me and tell me he loves me. am hurt and confuse. what do you think about this whole thing? what should I do?

[bbgirl]

trust me when I say DO NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD! leave him! as much as you love him LEAVE HIM! he's not worth all this. I was in the same position as you except the racist family,

why should you have to tourtue yourself day after day knowing that when you turn your back hell go with her. do you really want to be dealing with a racist family all your life? his family won't except you even after the baby, they will just blame you, and say that you did it on purpose.

...if he truly loved you like he said he did, he wouldn't be putting you in this position with this other girl. if he wanted the other girl to back off he should man up and tell her.! he's stringing you along because he doesn't know what he wants. and having his baby is only going to make him stay with you because now he is forced to.

its fine if you love him, but you have to love yourself more. and this is settling for something that's not going to be worth it in the end.

try to let him go. it takes months I know. but time does heal. I've learned that first hand

[Asker]

U said something that stuck me seriously,"this is settling for something that's not going to be worth it in the end." I believe you. also he is definitely stringing me along because of confusion. girl we need to chat. you need to help me out of this! I will hit you up. thanks a million

[WMusiq07]

Whew! I don't even know where to begin. This guy is a class act, girl PLEASE LEAVE HIM. You need to realize you are worth much much more than him and all his mess. All I heard were excuses from him and feeble attempts to try and trap you by saying he wants to have a baby with you. Having HIS baby will only make things worse, I don't know you personally but try and listen to these answers and responses from other people here. Its hard when you are in the situation to think and see clearly, but when advice comes from an objective point of view take it into account. He sounds like a sleaze to me because he is trying to sweet talk you into accepting his bullsh*t. ,and yes I said it, IT IS BULLSHIT! what he did, what he is doing, and what he will do.Do not fall for his "I love you's, don't leave me, and we belong together" crap. Respect yourself and move on girl! you can do better. CUT HIM OFF! SERIOUSLY Hope this helped!

[Asker]

I will listen to you guys but am having a hard time because I love him. Thanks so much

[Anonymous]

He couldn't choose, so you have no reason to hang on to him & isn't worth devoting yourself to (since he couldn't even decide to devote himself to you or her!)

Don't even consider about having a baby, that just seem like a blind shot at getting you (forcefully) accepted or stay on with him while he resumes cheating on you in broad daylight. Is this the kind of relationship you want to remain?

How long more does he need to figure it out when he should've figure this out 2 years ago :\

I'd say ignore his whining, & leave him for real. It won't be easy (it'll be hard & painful as heck..) but do what is right for your own integrity & future. Take care!

[Asker]

U are so right, because last night she call him while he was infront of me and instead of him hiding to ans as he normally do, he ans the phone comfortably in front of me. so he is forcefully getting me to accept her. but I know he does not do this infront of her. Thanks for ur reply. I wish ur profile name was here so I can hit you up

[chiefnavarro]

u really need our help...really...really?

[ALIgator]

Leave his butt!