Should I tell my boyfriend I have depression?

Question

I'm scared to tell him because my last boyfriend left after I told him.

I always act happy around my boyfriend, but it's getting very exhausting. I can't keep up with the act I'm playing, And that's kinda why I don't want to tell him because I don't think he'll believe me. He's a very caring & understanding guy, but that was what my ex was like. I just can't lose this guy he's given me so much hope.

What should I do?

vonasaurus · Accepted Answer

tell him; it's going to come out sooner or later, and the right guy will support you and help you get the treatment you need.

if you don't tell him, he'll probably interpret the symptoms of your illness as you being mean or not caring about him.

i have anxiety and ocd; both have affected my life over the years, and i've always been open about my issues. when i told my now-husband, i wasn't sure what his reaction would be; he loves me and supports me anyway, and his encouragement has helped me help myself.

if that's really why he left you, your ex is a piece of shit. and, if this guy can't handle that, he's also a piece of shit and doesn't deserve you.

i wish you both the best.

-von

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I was in the same situation until recently. I didn't know whether to tell my boyfriend, I didn't know if he'd understand because when I'm with him I'm so happy and he'd never seen how I am the rest of the time so I didn't think he'd get it. It actually came out in an argument unfortunately but I decided to tell him even though it was so difficult for me to physically say. Luckily he did understand and I think despite my thoughts he already kind of knew. He's been so supportive and kind I would definitely tell your boyfriend, if he can't handle it he's not the right one, I hope it goes okay xx

Starshine85 · Accepted Answer

Sooner or later he should know. You could write things down to explain how you feel, how you don't want to lose him and that he's important to you. If you change completely or how you act is completely different and there's no middle ground he may be shocked and find it difficult to take in. Some people can't deal with it and just want an easy life. Depression isn't you, even though it really takes over sometimes, I know. You could say you're trying to be positive but the effect the depression has on you

Ashleyr09 · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I think you should tell him. If he's truly understanding then he will be there for you through thick and thin. If your last boyfriend left you because of your depression then I'm sorry to say, but he's not that mature. It's your choice, ultimately.

Charly_79 · Accepted Answer

I believe in being honest. My girlfriend and I both have delt with depression and at times still do. Having her by my side and me being by her side has made a world of difference. If this guy is the one for you then he will stand by your side and support you as you need it. If he leaves you then you have someone out there that is a better match for you. Since meeting my girlfriend we have both learned how amazing it is having a partner that understands and loves you. Stay strong and I believe that God won't give us more then we can handle. :)

Daawsha · Accepted Answer

Just tell him, if he can't support you and hold on to you in your worst so he doesn't deserve you.
You don't have to act happy you don't have to make effort lying to him that you are ok.
this will not be a relationship, a relationship that you deserve.
Think about that, you get through difficult times and you will get through a lot with him or anybody being with you or not. Stand for urself.
If he cares about you, he will stand for you.

yourcasualguy · Answer

I have anxiety and that has a big effect on my life. I told my girlfriend as soon as the opportunity approached itself. I mean don't just say it out of the blue because most people don't understand how it feels. I think tell him through a story or in a way that explains your feelings not the diagnosis

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If a guy has a heart he will accept you with or without depression
I don't see it being a deal breaker I accept girls with depression and
it makes no sense to leave a person cause they have depression
If a guy or girl can't accept their partner for whom they are than
they should check their self and one thing to remember that karma
is bitch and it will get one sooner or later i never seen it fail.

bubblybex · Answer

do u take medication/ has it been diagnosed or whatever, cause if it hasn't then he might not believe u i duno

Krodaxun · Answer

You wouldn't be doing either of you a favor it you hid it. If he really cares about you, then he will stay and help you through it. Reassure him that it's due to hormones, not him. He might think it's his fault and he is a bad boyfriend.

samhradh_leannan · Answer

You should tell him. He deserves to know the real you, and you deserve to be with someone who can provide the type of support that you need.

goodboyverygood · Answer

I for one don't like secrets from my girlfriend because I wanna know all of her if she's sad and shares that with me then we can talk about it and I try and find out solutions to help her I feel like a hero's once I c her smiling again. Well whether he leaves or stays just tell him it's the right thing to do.. goodluck

HOAAH · Answer

Don't make it a problem for him. Let him know it's your problem and you are taking care of it, whether it's seeking counseling or journaling or meditation

Anonymous · Answer

You have to tell him, truth comes out eventually.
If he doesn't find out now, he will find out later.
And about your ex, its his loss, his mistake, not yours.

I have it too and never told my ex, why? Well she didn't care about me at all so I decided to stop being open with her.

Sowhoawolf · Answer

you should tell him you are depressed

and that you dont know why? if i had a girlfriend i would be happy because i could have sex for free, and with someone i care about. someone would always be there to cuddle with me and eat icecream while watching a movie we like. i would never be depressed again if i had a girlfriend. so i can't really relate to you

jjhere38 · Answer

You should tell him, I suffer from depression and it ended my marriage. You need to find someone who will give you support and stay by your side during the dark days.

lord_chilled · Answer

If he loves you he won't leave you for such a simple thing.
Tell him.
My friend has depression. That only made me wanna spend more time with him and make him feel happy. And i think your boyfriend loves you jist a bit more than i love my friend

Barrabus_the_Free · Answer

Tell him. Its his decision to make whether he wants to leave. Not telling him is incredibly selfish and disrespectful.

Justinaveragedude · Answer

You need to be honest about this. And if he can't handle it that is on him. But if he is worth the effort he will be willing to work with you. Hiding it will only lead to problems down the road.

Anonymous · Answer

It's really hard dating someone with depression but I would tell him if you feel like you need support.

jacquesvol · Answer

Tell him: it will help him to understand why you react or don't react the way you do.

milkyway777 · Answer

Just tell him, so it wil ease your burden and you will know if he has been real to you.

OlderGuy965 · Answer

Get to a psychiatrist or something and don't say anything if you like him. But if he's a potential life mate, tell him. If he leaves you for that, he's not worth spending your life with.

Midget_Hug · Answer

He has the right to know so he can leave if he sees fit.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not even that big of a deal. But for his sake, tell him.

melodybluesy · Answer

being dishonest is worse than having depression.

Should I tell my boyfriend I have depression?

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