Would you change your appearance for someone you’re attracted to?

Question

A lot of people will work out or change their hair or whatever to be more attractive in general, but that’s not what I mean.

If someone you were attracted to told you in conversation that they prefer guys/girls who look like this, or have this color hair, or have a beard instead of clean shaven, would you change your look for them? Keep in mind that in this situation, you’re not dating yet. You’re changing to make your crush more attracted to you.

Quintessence · Accepted Answer

It depends two things: Whether it's a change I'd want to make, and whether it's change that's feasible.

If it's a change that I deem would make me less attractive by my books, I wouldn't do it. For example, I might dye my hair a different colour, but only if it's nothing too crazy. If they want a full head of green hair, they're not getting that. Or, similarly, if they want me to chop off my hair... yeah, that's not happening.

Also, if it's a change that puts me way out of my convenience or comfort levels, I wouldn't do it. For example, as much as I dislike my eye colour, I would not start wearing coloured contact lenses, even if my partner asked it of me. Or, similarly, as much as I wish that my breasts were bigger, I would not make surgical enhancements to my body.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honey , I've tried. Way too many times. He still loves another girl and is chasing other girls ,
Not just one guy but a bunch of guys , tried to change my appearance , tried to look shorter , 'thicker' in all the right places , tried to be naive and 'cute' , tried everything to please guys. If you aren't really this way, no guys will fall for it. you are who are and you can't fake that and it'll come off to people as it is. I don't change my appearance anymore , I don't wear makeup or girly clothes , I don't act a certain 'innocent , cute , naive' way to try and be accepted. I don't try to get a round ass anymore , I'm me and if no guy ever wants me for it then so be it , at least I'll be true to myself and do whatever I want from now on.

dragonfly6516 · Accepted Answer

Would I lie and do something extra just to win them, ultimately reverting back to who I was before, leaving them feeling deceived, or allow myself to end up resenting them if I had to keep up the charade to keep them?

Nah. Not worth the trouble.

Besides, when people say stuff like that, it's usually a polite brush off. It's them saying that they don't want you, without being blunt about it.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I might be willing to make minor changes, but probably nothing major. I mean, you have no guarantee that even a major change is going to get them to date you, so why do anything drastic? Besides, you either like me for ME, or you don't. I'm okay either way, but I'm not going to be someone I'm not.

I've made minor changes for girls I've dated, though. Nothing big deal, but I'm willing to make SOME accommodations.

sc15022 · Accepted Answer

Aside from my physique and possibly my style choice, nope. I have my likes and dislikes and my personality will never change on the whim of any woman

Anonymous · Answer

Ugh no. I’m learning from an ex with this one: the moment they ask you to change ANYTHING you leave.

If they really liked you, they wouldn’t WANT you to change anything!

I was called “heartless” and disgusting/slutty/trashy/attention seeking/desperate etc etc and like someone he’d “fuck and chuck” because I wore a v neck crop too on a night one once... when he asked me to change I said no and he would be like “god there’s no fucking leeway with you you’re so stubborn you OBVIOUSLY don’t give a shit about me”

Sayonara motherfucker 👋🏻

Anonymous · Answer

I've done that in middle school. I used to wear 2 push up bras and It was horrible.
But till this day I'm still insecure and I'm going to get plastic surgery to get bigger boobs so I could look nice for myself and my boyfriend so he's not depressed to be stuck with someone with small boobs forever.

Obviouslyfabulous · Answer

I’m currently trying get toned because the guy I like looks like a freaking Greek god. He’s never said his preference but I’d feel self conscious pursuing him in my current state, plus I wanna be healthier for myself. It’s a win win.

Appless · Answer

They have to love me for me, if they don’t find me attractive then why be with me in the first place?

JulieXO · Answer

I would be up for some minor changes. Like if he loved black nail polish, which I never wear, I wouldn't mind doing it.

NalaxHungry · Answer

Depends on what they are asking. If it changes who i am. They dont love me. But makeup, hair style, or clothes. I dont mind.

effyourfeelings · Answer

It depends on what you mean by change my appearance I may change my hair color  But I'd only change if I want to change my appearance

SirRexington · Answer

I am me. If she doesn't like it, then it's a waste of time to crush on her.

Rj02011982 · Answer

Anyone who asks that of you is shallow and not worth your time.

ShesAmerican · Answer

No, I could care less about what others think of me lol

_NoOneImportant_ · Answer

No, the only change I'd make would be to move on from him

smilez2019 · Answer

You should love yourself the way you are. If you change, fine by me, but change it for yourself not because of someone you like.

Pink2000 · Answer

Nope I would not. I might put forth the extra effort to look good

Introvert94 · Answer

Naw, I'd move on to the next. I am who I am, I am what I am.

Anonymous · Answer

It depends how drastic I need to change things but I meant change some basic things

Bandit74 · Answer

Depends on what the changes are.

SLSYW15 · Answer

Nope. I'm myself.

Anonymous · Answer

Only of l like the change.

BleepRawrsaurus_Rex · Answer

Yeah

Would you change your appearance for someone you’re attracted to?

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