Why do they get uncomfortable around me?

[Nexovous]

I'm a very genuine person who is invested in personal growth. I love to expand my social opportunitys by attending events or anything of the sort. That said, I have noticed recently that when I have one on one conversations the other person tends to look rather uncomfortable after I initiate conversation with them until they know me really well. Like just being me weirds them out or something until they know every detail of my life. I don't think this is normal though. I'm going to add a picture in case it helps you out at all.

***I am no where near a weirdo, so before anyone goes trying to be a smartass ensure you're aware.

[Arbalest]

I had this problem my whole life. Nobody liked me unless they truly got to know me. It’s not like that anymore. What changed? My social skills. I used to be a giant weirdo. You said you aren’t a weirdo so I don’t know. But since I’ve become waaaaaaay better with my people skills, it seems like everything revolves around some sort of social anxiety.

You might be a powerful social force and it makes people nervous. I’ve noticed this a lot and it really really fucked with my head while I was learning to be confident and how to talk to people. But I eventually realized that as I became accustomed to strong eye contact and such, a lot of people have bad social anxiety and they feel intimidated by me..

[Arbalest]

Sooo, now what do I do to avoid that? Well, I’m not sure yet lol. Some people just have bad anxiety, I used to as well. I just try to smile and be happy and I really try hard to get to know people as who they are, regardless of situation. That will make anyone fall in love with you and obviously we know you love people already.

So in my eyes you got two options. Either you really are a weirdo and you’re socially awkward, or you’re too much for a lot of people and need to monitor it a bit. I dunno, just keep trying and being really aware of what you’re doing

[Nexovous]

I don't really have bad anxiety at all. I mean sure it can be a bit scary at first but i easily get over it. I am very open and confident. I'm not what i would consider over confident by any means, i can see how i might be too much i guess. I don't really have an issue with talking to complete strangers and maybe it is odd or throws them off. I mean, i moved to arizona recently and i find it hard to make friends. Only people that kind of match my same social prows per say seem to be able to hold a legit conversation otherwise the others seem like they are uncomfortable and find a way out real quick.

[Arbalest]

Personally I always try and learn something "deep" about every person I talk to. I put deep in quotes, cuz maybe it's not deep but it's way more than is normal. In my experience everyone loves that shit. I don't care what the situation is, I can find a way to go deeper. I bump into a girl at the grocery store buying Apple's. If I. Talking to her I might be like "did they have this kind of Apple's when you were a kid?" I don't know but people really respond to that in my experience. Also it's really co to learn more in depth about people. Every single person is interesting I've learned. Every person had a unique life and is full of interesting shit.

So yea I don't know how you are, but I figure I'll share what I feel and maybe it helps lol.

[torken]

what topics do you cover in the first conversation with someone? And what % are you talking?

[Nexovous]

As far as topic goes it's usually whatever the conversation starts as then branches out to. It tends to start with something about either a compliment, the event or something that we both happen to be doing. As far as % i'm unaware of what you mean.

[torken]

you might make people uncomfortable if you don't hit on their favorite topics. aka, try asking more questions and telling fewer stories. try and talk less than 50% of any conversation

[Nexovous]

I agree with what you're saying and this is detrimental to any proper conversation. I do this regularly myself. That's the thing, I think my communication is on point. My hygiene and outward appearance are all fine as well.

[Spacebears]

The best way to become more social is to stop following society (:

[Nexovous]

Damn dude, did you stalk my previous posts?

[Spacebears]

No it gave me a notification

[CoffeeWC]

Some people are just uncomfortable with direct eye contact, myself included.