Would you ever date your school bully?

[Alice2398]

I finished school 4/5 years ago and I had a hand full of boys who bullied to the age of 11 to 16 years old.

I was painfully shy and struggled with my dyslexia which made me a easy target. They'd push, poke and throw things at me and call me cruel worlds, one boy even thought it was okay to touch me in inappropriate places.

When I got to the age 15/16 puberty hit me like a train and a lot of the bullying calm down and a lot of the boy's who would tournament me all a sudden wanted to date me. Of course me, being me I laughed my head off in their faces when they'd try to flirt with me and humiliate them like they humiliated me for all them years.

I've grown up now and when ever they try to talk to me when ever I see them just pretend I can't remember them and don't give them the time of day.

I was wondering if anyone would ever forgive their bully and give them a second chance and actually have a relationship with them as they've probably change from who they were in school or be like me and not give them the time day even if they've changed, I believe them types of people deserves their comeuppance in life or they'll never learn. What's your opinion?

[Anonymous]

That exact situation happened to me lol :) My finance and I have been together for 4 years but it wasn't always so picture perfect. He always used to tease me in high school because I was a bit of a book nerd and was so focused on my studying that I didn't have much of a social life. He was one of the popular guys (was on the soccer team and was always surrounded by friends and female admirers). I used to pay him no mind and didn't let his teasing get to me. We ended up going to the same college and were paired together for a project in one of our shared classes. At first I gave him the cold shoulder but he invited me out for a coffee even once the project was over so I knew he actually liked me. When I finally mentioned his teasing in high school he admitted that he had always had a crush on me but was so shallow at the time and was worried what people might think of him because we both ran with different crowds lol. We actually have so much in common and he has grown and matured so much and he proposed to me!! ❤️ Were getting married in July!! Moral of the story is that people do change after high school & stereotypes sometimes prevent people from following their hearts lol

[lostgirl_searching]

I was sexually harassed by my bully when I was 12 and was groped on by him, he told 2 girls to hit me and throw me around, take my money and steal my stuff. Just so I won't say anything. I started stealing money from my parents just to hope they won't beat me up so I honestly don't think I will forgive him or even date him. I don't care how much he changed.

[Alice2398]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. that's horrible

[lostgirl_searching]

Thank you and I was easy target as well they looked at me like I was stuck up, they teased me because I sound white and then what made it worse they found out that the area I was born and raised was an area that was majority white and a rich area. Til this day my parents doesn't know, my brother helped me through it. So thankfully it doesn't haunt me to not be with a guy.

[Alice2398]

Yeah I was bullied because people thought I was rich too and luckily my best friend had my back and I had hers so I wasn't alone

[lostgirl_searching]

I'm glad you had someone that protected you. Sometimes we all need that one person :) to help us through times when it comes to being bullied or depression.

[Chaz269]

Most people don't truly change.
You could date them just to tease and torment them, but you'd be taking a terrible risk with your safety and livelihood.
As far as your current practice, I'd say you're fucking up. Yes, those people won't learn without painful reminders of their mistakes and transgressions. This is exactly why you should stop acting like you don't know or remember them when you reject them. Remind them exactly who you were, and who they were and tell them THAT'S why they don't get to know you better. It's too late for them, but maybe they'll teach their kids better and you'll have hope for your kids because of it.

[jpmoore89]

Forgiveness is a good thing for sure. If for one thing alone, it will let you be rid of things which can weigh heavy and continue to cause you pain. But just because you genuinely forgive someone of their past does not mean you have to be obligated to stick your neck out in the line again.

Protect yourself from them for sure but move through life no longer allowing the pain they caused to anger you or to put a damper in new relationships. Don't allow it to rob you of any more time or happiness in your life. Forgive and forget, but learn from it.

[Anonymous]

Depends really. I had a ton of rumors going around the school about me. Guys helped to spread those rumors. I wasn't very good at school and my home life didn't help. It turned out I have learning disabilities. I was 2 grades behind because of that. I had quite a few friends but people did try to bully me. Im not scared of anyone, especially back then. I delt with bullies and neglect in my own house.
Anyway forward to now. Im 26. I have my life together and Im happily married.
Before I married I might have dated some one who was an asshole to me back then. People can and do grow up. They go through things that change them. I did things and acted in ways I can't believe as a teen. Probably a result of my home life. I grew up. I got stronger. Im less jaded now. People sometimes emotionally hurt other people because of their own pain. As long as that person evolves into a mature strong regretful person I don't see why they dont desirve forgiveness for some actions. Im strong enough to forgive.

[villageidiot]

Don't you think American society admires bullies? Not that anyone is going to admit it, but don't you think thats true.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

That's awful what you went through. There's no excuse for bullying. People make excuses to justify the behaviour of bullies. They have little thought for the bullies victims.

I despise bullies. I was never bullied at school , because I was always a feisty kid. But I'd stand up to bullies , and defend kids who were victims of bullying. I would always intervene if I saw kids being bullied. Even at a cost to my own well-being

If I had been bullied though , I'd never enter into a relationship with a person who got pleasure and satisfaction from making my life a living hell. I'd have zero respect for them. They'd never be able to earn my respect or trust. I do sometimes judge people for their past behaviour. I wouldn't allow their behaviour to affect my own happiness though. I'd just cut them out my life and move on from them.

[LordChaoticX]

Depends at the age that you were bullied they also were going through puberty and had hormones that made them into little bitches.
When you started to become more beautiful they stopped but it was also possible because they grew up.

Your 20 now and they are adults aswell they could have matured into very nice productive adults to society but it really depends on you and how they matured.

If they weren't your childhood bullies and you met as strangers would you give them a chance? If so I would encourage you to forgive them and go on a few dates to test the waters.

[LordChaoticX]

Currently I am friends/almost dating a girl that used to torment me for a good year on the bus when I was 13.

Fast forward to now and we are now best friends. I hit her with a stick when I was 6 and I didn't see her till I went to public school so we naturally hated eachother because we were taught to by are parents. But now we are practically dating.

[Jarrison]

Well have to be honest here people change you can not judge anybody on how they act between 11 and 16 I've seen the nastyiest guys become the nicest ones and the other way around live now dont look in the past every moment you think of the past and the negative stuff about it is a lost moment you can't change it and when someone comes to you today take him for how he is and not was

[MLGbreezy]

Actually yes when i was younger way back in the 1st grade this girl used to bully me every day up to the second grade on my skin color (im black) and it pissed me off i threatens her back then and got in trouble but i always did think she was kinda cute she still pissed me off tho. fast forward to middle school she stopped bullying people and changed and ended up being in my class we even grew to be friends fast forward again to highschool were frienfs i see her often even flirted a ton i ended up asking her out but she never gave me a response but we flirted often and yea that's itwe never got together but it was pretty crazy i used to hate her and then we became friends

[Lea96]

I wouldn't because a bully shows his true colors as a kid and even if they change they still have a lot of those bad traits deep inside also if they were bullying me cause i was shy and awkward then they wanted me cause i turned pretty then that shows what type of people they are and i wouldn't want to be with someone like that

[Finchie40]

No way you deserve better then that by him being one of your bullies shows his real character, if he actually had a heart he wouldn't of bullied you , this is your chance to get revenge and make them feel like a pile of shit for what they did to you , find someone that truly has a heart

[MaiaStillLikesAnime]

Fuck no, they can get hit by a car for all I care.

I wouldn't call what I experienced bullying and tbh it's just funny now but there was this boy who used to make me cry everyday in year two. Years later we went to the same highschool and he told me he used to have a crush on me. Like boi fuck off u called me a poo poo head when I was five lmao smh

[OvershareGamer]

buahaha You are not allowed to drive around town, ok?

[LordChaoticX]

Sounds like a standard 7 year old that didn't know how to handle his feelings so he bullied you.

I had a girl when I was in 1st through 3rd grade who didn't know how to handle her feelings either. It's kind of funny to look back on now

[Hidden_P]

No I never would.

He tormented me, he was horrible. He had me against a wall by my neck at one point. He even threw his exams by writing obscene things about me across his paper instead of completing the exam.

He can burn in hell. After he moved nobody kept contact and he eventually moved country. Not even sure his parents speak to him.

[Hidden_P]

I was bullied from 8-15 by various people.

[CabanaBoy91]

Is the behaviour understandable and forgivable? Yes. Would i forgive and hook up? No... teenagers are asses and typically develop into better adults... well when they have checks and balances in their lives... so have they changed? Did he/they apologize sincerely? Actually showed change from before? Also as an adult there are more important things to consider then who used to be mean does he/they meet a good standard?

[doglover77]

I mean I would give one of them a chance. I don't know though. I didn't like it when you said they touched you in inapproproare places. That's deff crossing the line. You're what 20 now? That was years ago as a kid. And kids are terribly mean. You're both at a different stage in life now. They could have possibly matured. I'd give it a try.

[SeanNotShawn]

Peronally no. If a bully is getting attention from girls it may show them or tell them that what they are doing attracts others and they will keep doing it, also when or if you fall for a bully you like or love them and it sets you up to justify what they are doing so you can continue to like or love them. Das all...

[KurooKung]

I got bullied aswell and dont see them anymore which is great because im living a happy life without them. Why would you waste your time on them, so what if they are changed. They made your life miserable didn't they? My answer is no. You deserve better :P

[OpenWine]

it depends on the kind of bully and the vibe they give you when you see them again.
some of the times I've been bullied were for good "I am different" reasons. other times it was for pure bad intentions and the joy of having someone feel bad.
I could see the difference when looking at the bullys eyes and some were really not doing it to give themselves a push. more likely a rejection of my old self which had to be slightly modified.

depending on the bully I would or wouldn't date

[Auris]

Well i think they deserved getting rejected by you its like karma for them. They may learn their lesson. Bullying mostly is for getting "reputation" i think and they do that to look cool to the crowd or classmates, make them laugh etc... But when there is nobody to watch how they can bully someone they won't do it. So maybe after school, puberty they start thinking more mature and stop doing that stuff...

[krowlordz]

No, my school bully literally broke my arm and i have an entirely titanium bone in my arm because of him, yeah, I thank him for that because I'm now a badass that can use my arm to stop a overhead slash with a sword but meh, also people started leaving me alone after that

[Godless_flawless]

Definitely not, it would simply be illogical. Why be with someone that tormented me and then “might” turn out nice later, when there are other options. Nice guys that have always been nice, who truly deserve the time of the day.

[ThePundertaker]

Well some people tease others in a way of flirting but actual bullying is different. It could be forgiven but not under these circumstances. Like if one day they are harassing you and the next it’s “I’m so sorry” “I really loved you the whole time” than could be strange but understandable.
But right after puberty? Pft buuullllllllsssshhhhiiiiiittttt!

[JSmith925]

No, no, and no. I would rather die old and alone, living in an abandoned coal mine.
Hopefully, they will marry the girl of their dreams and she will immediately let herself go completely and nag them to the end of their miserable days.
~JSmith

[davidrees]

I believe they deserve a chance to be happy in life, but I don't think it's your responsibility to give it to them. I wouldn't date someone who bullied me, especially as it sounds like it still hurts you.