I’m really upset about my boyfriend’s ex and I don’t know what to do (please read information below before answering)?

[Anonymous]

I’ve known his ex since I was a kid. We used to be friends until her humour (making fun of me all the time) was too much for me. She became rude and a bit of a bully. She’s also removed me off of some social media so she clearly didn’t want to continue being friends either. I was fine with that. Then when I started dating my boyfriend, she was shook because her “ex best friend” and ex boyfriend are dating. Like okay? Why do you care. I’ve never been okay with the fact that they still talk and are friends. I know my boyfriend will never leave me for her, he said he has no interest in getting back together with her and he only wants me. But I really want her to back off! I’ve always hated her, and the fact that she’s his ex, I hate her even more. And my boyfriend knows how much I hate her. Yet he won’t stop talking to her because she’s “his friend” and her boyfriend just broke up with her so she’s sad and needs support. Well I’m upset half the time, my boyfriend isn’t there for me. She can go talk to someone else. And apparently he goes to her for support when I’m not around. I’m his girlfriend? When will I NOT be around for support?
I am so miserable and upset. I want her to back off and I want him to stop talking to her. She keeps requesting to follow me and won’t stop either! She also says things like “Well I better leave before your girlfriend hates you like she hates me lol”. Like seriously. It’s like she’s trying to cause things. I noticed the other day that my boyfriend didn’t answer my text but he answered her which made me so mad. I’ve been so tempted to message her and just tell her to leave my boyfriend alone and I honestly want to tell my boyfriend “No more sex or anything like that until you cut communications with your ex”. I don’t care if a lot of people here think I’m being dramatic. This is who I am and my siblings and friends think I’m right. They all would be ticked too and wouldn’t want their SO texting their ex either.
How can I stop this?

[Prankster13]

Be careful here. It sounds like she knows what she's doing. Have you told your boyfriend why it upsets you this much? Have you asked him to come to you for support and not just anyone? I don't think there is anything wrong with what he is doing. But there's nothing wrong with your reaction either.
Unless you go too far.
Tell him why you dislike how he is such good friends with her. Ask her to stop involving herself so much with him.
They are friends. That is fine. But if he is closer to her than to you, it's fine to bring it up and ask him to be with you more.
Don't withhold anything. That makes things worse.
Just don't give him any reason to hang around her much. He likes you so he should want to be around you more. But there is nothing wrong with him being friends with her as well.

[Mrblueballs42]

I think holding onto an ex in a new relationship is a no go. I dont xare if he knew her 20 years. Spending time or texting with her is wrong. It be diffrent if it was just a friend. Him wanting to comfort her is never good. She seems like a home breaker and sounds she is good at it. He either kicks her to the curb or you do the stepping. You need a real man to love ya. Not a boy who goes running to ex.

[PondyPand]

It is dramatic. But, there's a point hidden in your rant. He should be putting you first compared to an ex. Sit him down and honestly tell him the truth. Write a list to keep it simple with how you feel (bullet points) so you don't start ranting at him else he'll get defensive. It's fine for him to have her as a friend (although in my opinion it isn't) but he needs to prioritize. If he doesn't, It may be worth moving on because if he don't give you enough attention, why would you lower yourself to it?

[madhatters4]

so they are friends. you have to accept this. they were friends before you got together with him and they are friends now. don't make him choose. don't play games like withholding sex.

you can explain what she did to you that cause you to no longer be friends with her and perhaps he will see that as a reason not be friends with her but what she did or didn't do to you really has little bearing on their friendship