Why are only men responsible for romance?

Question

I think it's weird that women often say that they're more romantic, even though they don't actually DO anything romantic.
And I don't understand why women can't see that "romance" is not as magical if YOU'RE the one who has to prepare, pay for and take care of everything. Not really a magic ride then, just stressful.

I also don't understand why men owe this to women.
The answer is often "you get sex, time, attention and companionship", but men give the same to women in return.

Why can women utter their expectations of what a man should do in bed, demand extensive foreplay, for him to put his focus on her first and foremost, to last long and to be able to do it again and again, but if a man says "She should give blowjobs", he's a pig?

Why can a woman expect to be taken on expensive dates, but if a man expects a woman to cook for him, he's a pig?

Why can women say what a "real man" is like and what he should do, but if a man start a sentence with: "a woman should", he's a pig?

snowangle · Accepted Answer

I'm just going to answer the original question 😐

I can't speak for all girls, but I for one love to do romantic things for my significant other when I have one. I'll surprise him with his favorite food, treat him to a place he loves, I'll randomly put on lingerie and wait for him to get home from work, etc. For me, the reason it's so hard to show romance to guys is, I have no idea what the guy likes until I get to know him! At least guys are told their whole lives "girls love flowers and candles and slow dancing." You actually have an idea of where to start. But if you met a girl who hated all of the stereotypical romance stuff, you'd have a much harder time figuring something out too.

In the end though, I don't see it as a stressful duty or expectation. I think we should all look forward to any opportunity to make our partner feel special. If you really dread doing it, then your head's not in the right place.

Blunique · Accepted Answer

I don't know how all women are but you might be dating the wrong kind of women that should appreciate you. I did the same for my ex, made him homemade food all the time, paid for dinner, paid for dates, bought him nice clothes I thought he would like and look good in. I did nice things when I didn't need to do them. He was the one who took me for granted. So I know your pain. I think you might want to date a sensitive girl. They think of your feelings instead of stepping on them.

ManFrom1982 · Accepted Answer

Okay... Just to be fair here buddy, we men absolutely do have standards we expect women to meet too. We may know that saying some of them out loud may get us called pigs, but we sure as hell will still break up with a girl over them even if we won't say it's because we couldn't do without oral sex.

Second, there are plenty of things, like crying in any circumstance whatsoever practically, we're perfectly happy to call women "crazy" over and dismiss them as fast as they dismiss us for being "pigs".

Third, our gender puts a ton of pressure on theirs based on our own fantasies just like they do ours. Ours just tend to be about sex and physical beauty while their's tend to be about romance and emotional intelligence. Which by the way is why it's ridiculous that you're arguing we give women the same things, like sex, that they give us. The two genders tend to ascribe high values to very different things!

blackisnotacolour · Accepted Answer

They want to be treated equally to men when it comes to advantages but not when it comes to disadvantages (ie. taking the initiative).
And let's face it - many women want to have a romantic guy, etc. but when they actually meet one, he's not like those Chads who make her wet and he gets dumped. You'd have to be all-in-one and it still wouldn't suffice because if you could meet her expectations, she'll find some more and eventually you wouldn't be able to cover all of what she "needs".
Those are the toxic ones that should get a stamp on their forehead and be cast away, because all they can do is to hurt people. Sadly, if you encounter one, the best option is to leave. Let the Princess find her Prince Charming. She'll end up with a bunch of cats, dying alone, but that's none of your business.

ecfresh · Answer

After considering your question for a while and taking a look at some of the responses from both women and men below I decided to start with the question - what is romance?

noun - a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
verb - court; woo.

The word court is broken down to mean:
--be involved with romantically, typically with the intention of marrying. --go to great lengths to win (favorable attention).

So what you are asking is why do men have to take the lead in "going to great lengths to win a woman for marriage"? The answer is partially just the way it is and partially because us pigs (I meant boys) made it this way. The way it is means that naturally men take the lead in relationships and make efforts at romance to woo the women into falling in love with them so that the goal is marriage. Guys have screwed it up for the rest of us because they have lied to women and betrayed them by acting like their intentions were pure but instead to use women for selfish reasons. Therefore women these days have their shields up and will shit-test guys until they can learn to trust them.

Women share blame as well. As you highlighted in your description there are times when men are labeled as pigs for having expectations. The truth is if boys didn't have expectations for women when in a relationship that is when they are just looking to hit it and quit it. Women should request responsibilities and requirements from men because then it is clearly communicated what men want (and vice versa). No one is a mind reader and if we have to guess at these requirements we would all fail. Again if a man wants a girl to cook for him in their relationship and the immediate response from the girl is that he is a pig, she is immature. Instead it should be a conversation where chores and responsibilities are divided in the couple. If the man is a better cook, let him cook. If the woman has experience with cars, she should change the oil..

If the relationship is going to succeed both people have to work hard (thanks Mom for that advise). In the beginning the man must step up and make an extra effort to plan, woo, and charm this stranger he is attracted to. Over time the woman must learn about the man and figure out his love languages, start doing things so communicate that she cares (and vice versa). If the woman puts high priority into love languages of 'receiving gifts' and 'acts of service' that is why you think men are more responsible for being romantic.

Selena2418 · Answer

Not all women have these expectations or demands... I'm sorry if this has been your experience so far. There are a lot of women who enjoy being romantic, and there are a lot of men who honestly dont appreciate it or are quick to label women as being needy, clingy, or my personal favorite "intense". Everyone has different expectations of their partners, and it's important that those are made known for a happy relationship. You should probably seek out someone who sees a relationship as a true partnership and enjoys making you feel amazing. I know women who dont do romantic things anymore because men were were quick to judge them for it. I also know women who live to dote on their partners. It's about the expectations you lay out to them, and the expectations they lay out for you. If those aren't in line, then dont waste your time. Personally, I love to be romantic and I'm really into the little things... like leaving little loving notes for my partner, or if I'm up first, making their coffee just how they like it, or surprising them in the morning with a little sexy oral surprise. I only look for people who not only expect those things, but welcome them and vice versa. I expect my partner to show affection in the form of physical contact, words, or the little things. Essentially the same love languages as me: touch, words, acts of service (my top 3). Without those, I know it won't last.

Pizza_lover159 · Answer

I agree with you. And im gonna tell you something.

A man can get sex from anywere. He can learn to cook for himself. He can wash and do anything he needs. Same with women.

What makes relationship last is the respect and understanding they have for each other. Love matters too. My dad told me that a smart man love a woman that can stay with him when he has no money and he tried to find a job. A woman who is not afraid to break a nail or too. To get dirty and to ruin her perfect hair. That makes a woman unreplaceble.

He told me that after I got into a serious relationship for the first time.

Now I tell you about what women want. A smart woman wants a guy that can stay with her even when she is angry , jelous and dont know what to do , when she is a mess or a cry baby , a man who will comfort her when she is sad and be her best friend. Etc. When a woman loves you. She forgives and protect you.

Nobody owns nothing to anybody. But you shouldn't expect to get something for what you give freely. Anyway. Some people here are feminist and they would dislike my comment.

And a woman who is marriage material is a woman who respect herself. Who doesn't mind cleand or even working to help her loved one. A woman who is responsable and knows how to cook because you can't pay at a restaurant everyday.

You didn't met all women from this word. yes. Some are hook up material. Some are just friends and done. Some are for marriage. And some are lost and die alone. Etc. And You will find romantic ones too. But not in the way you would like.

For example. Im not that good at everything. but I like to cook cakes for my boyfriend for every little success he has. I like to make men bracelets for him and diffrent things. I can't buy him flowers or get in my knees to tell him that I love him in a romantic way (I could get in my knees for other dirty things. 😂😂).

Romance for men and women is diffrent.

eMaNnUeL · Answer

That's the way society is. We hold women up on a pedestal and it really goes to some of their heads. I have a few female friends and their standards are ridiculous and usually very shallow but that's what we've permitted for a long time so they don't know any better. It's one of the signs of the times. Women will shout from the roof tops how a guy has no idea what being a girl is like. Hell Beyonce even has a song about it but they tend to assume what being a man is like and since our society caters to how women feels, they couldn't careless about what a man thinks so they assume they have it all figured out, despite how untrue that is, there's no need for them to actually know the truth (and this app is a perfect example of how clueless women are when it comes to men). It also stems from the fact that men have to be the ones making an attempt to impress women. Women have the luxury of not having to ask men out, therefore they don't need to try and impress a man as much and that ideology of men impressing women then carries over into the relationship. I've heard of women breaking up for reasons that if a man left a girl for, he'd be demonized. When was the last time you heard of a guy breaking up with a girl for not going on enough fancy dates with him? Doesn't happen often but like I said, women are put on a pedestal, they're seen as a treasure, it's considered a blessing when a woman "allows" you to have sex with her. So they get used to that treatment and then soon expect it. Of course this isn't true for every woman. There are certainly ones that are low maintenance but I really don't know how many are actually like that. So to sum it up. Society gives women special treatment causing a lot of them to actually believe that they're something special.

Hidden_P · Answer

I’ve never been romanced by a man.

I’ve bought the flowers.
I’ve cooked the dinner.
I’ve lit the candles.
I’ve done the cleaning and washing up.
I’ve done the blowjobs and had nothing in return.

I’ve never been romanced by a man.

littlebutswole · Answer

im not that demanding. in fact i usually show my love with gestures until they feel comfortable enough to open up to me. i go out of my way even though i have a long history of trust issues to make a guy i like feel comfortable with me. you need to reconsider your statement my friend.

AlienParasite · Answer

If my boyfriend payed all my stuff I would think he's idiot, not romantic. I don't know what kind of girls do you date.

Romantic is to share something with the other person because that remembered you to her/him. Or to plan a cool date in her/his favorite restaurant or in a place he loves or doing something he really likes. If a girl or boy you date doesn't try to make you happy or surprises you, it's a bad partner.

Romance should be something both parts are responsible of.

iv4n_gg · Answer

Because we live in an age full of double standards. Equality does not mean uniformity. We as men have a responsibility to protect and to take care of women and, to an extent, please them. It has been so since the dawn of our species, and this new Third Age Feminism wave is destroying this. The simple reason is, that whther you like it or not, when you find someone who you are actually in love with, you will be begging to do this.

Celq532 · Answer

TL:DR.
Most people are not very mature when it comes to relationship. Including people my age.
Honestly speaking, I've met more people who are more idealistic in their romance than people who're actually romantic. That's just simply a fact. They call people who are idealistic romantic as hopeless romantic.

lexythelou22 · Answer

I dunno what women you've been dating, but apparently they're the wrong ones. My friends and I even help each other plan romantic shit for our men, I thought that was just normal? 😂

SuzyB · Answer

Not really an opinion but what kind of woman do you date? Relationships are a two way streak, expensive meals =home cooked meals, foreplay = both parties, massages together and care for eachother...

jessture · Answer

And my favorite, when you call them out on their double standards they just start screaming and throwing insults

billyboy37 · Answer

You are wrong on so many levels my brother if you love her all this comes naturally.. when you treat a woman right. The return is heaven lol not kidding dude..

boulshyte · Answer

if u love her these things would come naturally. and the same is for women. I don't know who youve been dating

Anonymous · Answer

You think foreplay isn't a necessary step during sex? Those poor girls sex with you must be awful.

luvpanda2005 · Answer

Because if a man falls in love with a woman he should be ready to take some responsibility in the relationship not just the women

Anonymous · Answer

So you think if the woman buys a sexy outfit, makes your favorite dinner, and sets the mood, that she is NOT taking responsibility for romance?

TheNightquest · Answer

It's really not. The thing is we are expexted to. And movies, tv etc. All portrait men as the primary romance maker. But oh boy some women can really be romantic too even at the start.

P0tSM0kiNH03 · Answer

Not all woman are like that but It is messed up it double standard and isn't far

Anonymous · Answer

Because in this world, we are always the oppress and the successor and we can never be victims so we're expected to be more responsible even if it cost us our lives.

Why are only men responsible for romance?

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