Have you ever developed a romantic or sexual interest in someone who was already a good friend? (Page 2)

OlderAndWiser · 2018-09-09T13:47:56Z

So many people say that they want their SO to be their best friend but, if their best friend says "Hey, let's try to be more than friends, we often hear that cheesy line: "But I don't want to lose you as a friend." That seems to result in an automatic "urge to kill" for some of us. Sometimes, of course, it is a transparent excuse that your friend uses because they don't want to say, "But. . . I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last guy on the planet." But, sometimes, I think people legitimately think that they want to hold on to the friendship and not take any chances. If you already have developed sexual or romantic feelings for your friend, can you simply ignore those feelings and remain in a purely platonic status? Ladies, will you be okay with hearing your guy friend talk about the new girl and how cool she is when YOU want to be the one at the center of his universe? Guys, how will you handle it when she inadvertently says something that reveals she spent the night with the new Mr. Wonderful? "How can she fuck that jerk?" you think to yourself. Girls, do you want to be there to receive an invitation to his wedding and watch him walk down the aisle with someone else? So, what do you do when you develop feelings for a friend? I think the friendship probably isn't going to continue if your feelings are rejected or spurned, so why not just go for it because a. if you lose the friendship, it was probably going to be lost anyway, but b. if you go forward and start dating and it works out, isn't that the best of all possible worlds? Have you ever been in this position? How did you handle it?

OlderAndWiser

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Blunique Follow
Xper 5 Age: 29 , mho 47%

+1 y

I was never able to experience dating a guy who was your friend first. I always wanted to because it seems like an unstoppable relationship. You know each other so well as friends and as lovers.

I rarely had guy friends but never felt attracted to them.

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Hurlyburly Follow
Guru Age: 32 , mho 47%

+1 y

Most of my relationships so far developed out of a friendship, my boyfriend now included.
So basically, the last three options would be correct for me since I'm still good friends with one of my exes but drifted apart with other two (we still got eachother on facebook but thats it).

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Koki11 Follow
Xper 6 Age: 29

+1 y

I did but I don't think he was aware even after I made him aware but he's was either blind or didn't want to outright say he wasn't interested and now the roles have reversed years later coz we've reconnected and I think he has some feelings and I have moved on and only see him as a friend coz I had to accept that's all I'd ever be to him and have emotionally moved on

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LeonW Follow
Xper 2 Age: 39

+1 y

Yeah, I did let her know, we dated and it was great but ultimately we are not together now.

I can only speak for myself but I’m glad that we tried. I’m happy for the time we had and nothing lasts forever.

I choose to smile when I think of what we experienced rather than focus on the fact that it ended.

That’s just me and my opinion though.

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Harsh_Ch Follow
Xper 6 Age: 26

+1 y

I hate being friend-zoned so I never reveal my true feelings, even if I develop any in the first place
Either be an friends with benefits, relationship material or just stay the f away from me by being just an acquaintance
I don't have time for silly romantic games, just cut to the chase

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Hoggy1 Follow
Xper 5 Age: 30

+1 y

I had a great female friend who had a great connection with me I had feelings for her but i couldn't tell her i did as she was a great friend my feelings dissipated... which I thought was gods as i liked having a female friend who had loads in common with we.. for me it was platonic and I liked and enjoyed that more just being her friend

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ElissaIsBelgian Follow
Xper 4 Age: 28

+1 y

I always crush on guys who make me feel good and who look after me. That’s why friendships with men are my weak spot. After a week or two I want to nurture them and take care of them as a girlfriend. And when they are taken that brings problems :-(

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3 Reply
- u
  
  OlderAndWiser
  
  +1 y
  At least you have some awareness of what you are doing!
  
  Reply
- ElissaIsBelgian
  
  +1 y
  Yeah but usually it’s painful and I force myself to avoid them because I don’t want to interrupt in the relationship :-)
  
  Reply
- u
  
  OlderAndWiser
  
  +1 y
  As you get more experience, you will become more protective of yourself.
  
  Reply
madhatters4 Follow
Master Age: 42 , mho 45%

+1 y
5.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

voted g. we met randomly at a concert. over the course of a year became really close friends. i started catching feelings about 10 months in and told her when we were on a trip. we dated for nearly 2 years

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NightOwl8801 Follow
Guru Age: 35

+1 y

We're still friends.
I asked for a date and to catch up on things a few years back , didn't know she was seeing someone and ended up marrying him and moved to Texas. I had feelings for her back in middle/high school but I was a bit shy to express said feelings to her.

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MlleCake Follow
Master Age: 51 , mho 57%

+1 y
1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

My husband and I were casual friends for several years before we started dating.

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1 Reply
- u
  
  OlderAndWiser
  
  +1 y
  I think it is always worth taking a chance on pursuing a romance with a friend.
  
  Reply
CarpetDenim Follow
Master Age: 21 , mho 31%

+1 y

Yes, I have developed a sexual or romantic interest in someone who was already a friend. I revealed my feelings to them, they were interested, we started dating, and we developed a great romantic relationship

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Lance1965 Follow
Master Age: 58

+1 y
2.7K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Yes that is how my friends with benefits came to be. We were talking one day and we both realized we both wanted the same thing so we went for it. So far, so good.

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4 Reply
- u
  
  OlderAndWiser
  
  +1 y
  Do you think it will become more than FWB?
  
  Reply
- Lance1965
  
  +1 y
  Yes that is very possible but we are taking it slow. I have rushed into too many serious relationships in the past. I am not going to make that mistake again.
  
  Reply
- u
  
  OlderAndWiser
  
  +1 y
  Experience is a bitch of an effective teacher, ain't it?
  
  Reply
- Lance1965
  
  +1 y
  Yes it is.
  
  Reply
SngBirdy Follow
Xper 7 Age: 29

+1 y

Bro, it happens all the time, with both girls and boys. When you spend time with a cool guy/girl a lot, and he/she is attractive on top of that too, there is nothing you can do about it. It just happens.

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0 Reply
Ibeji Follow
Xper 6 Age: 24 , mho 50%

+1 y

I had a fleeting fancy for a guy friend. I brought it up to him in a roundabout kind of way, and he said he doesn’t see a girl in a romantic way once he becomes friends with her.

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Travis_Skyles Follow
Xper 7 Age: 22

+1 y

Nope, as the virgin king I don't develop those sorts of feelings

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3 Reply
- u
  
  OlderAndWiser
  
  +1 y
  One day, you will abdicate the throne!
  
  Reply
- Travis_Skyles
  
  +1 y
  Never!
  
  Reply
- u
  
  OlderAndWiser
  
  +1 y
  You should never say never. . . or you should never say never most of the time. :)
  
  Reply
Countrybarbie101 Follow
Xper 2 Age: 27

+1 y

My best friend has been the love of my life we have had feelings for 11 years before acting on them don’t give up and take the plunge you won’t lose them as a friend forever they will always be there no matter break up because true best friends will make it through thick and thin

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0 Reply
weysally Follow
Guru Age: 52 , mho 48%

+1 y
335 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

I developed a sexual interest with a fiend of both myself and my husband, well not a real close friend, we developed a threesome together which is still ongoing

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ATuairiscean Follow
Guru Age: 55

+1 y

I said G - Entered and in a relationship with a very good friend - The relationship only started at end of July so early days - My point is that you do feel wary of it but It had got to the stage where we were a couple in everything except romantic affection and sex - It was funny looking back but our interaction was dripping in romantic/sexual tension - We were friends so a bit wary, I think acquaintances would have bit the bullet a lot sooner and broached the subject

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TripleAce Follow
Master Age: 40

+1 y
1.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

Ya kinda. And to be honest we didn’t do anything. Just got a little close. One or twice. Nothing super sexual. Maybe kissing and touching.

To be honest nothing changed. We just never did again. And went back to being friends

Lol. All depends how panicky one gets. If you are cool and easy breezy. Things just work either way

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JAugustGibbs Follow
Xper 4 Age: 30 , mho 48%

+1 y

Yes! it has happened to me a lot growing up to be honest. I'd always develop crushes on girls who were already close friends of mine!

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