I'm dating an insecure girl from more than one year?

[Anonymous]

So I'm dating a girl online for more than one year and we have decided to meet eachother soon but the problem is that she is really insecure about her body... Not that she just little overweight but she rarely sends a full picture or her only when I'll request very much to send me. I really want our relationship to work out and her to open up more but however much i try is not enough for her.. i kind of giving up on her and losing hopes... I want to see her more at least till we meet but im feeling like I'm asking for too much..
I'm i wrong? What should I do in this situation.. please help

[RainbowSmile]

She’s probably new to things. You need to make her feel pretty and special and compliment her body and beauty. I used to not want my boyfriend to see my tummy until he kept grabbing it and squeezing it and talking to it like it’s a baby animal and now I know how much he loves my squishy pouch so much it would be cruel to deprive him of it. Plus you said it yourself you have never spent any time together face to face... this could have a lot to do with it. Let her warm up to you physically.

[Asker]

Thank you 😊 I'll try my best

[MaverickAngel]

I think the real question is whether it would be a dealbreaker for you if she was overweight. If it would... might not be worth it. If its not a dealbreaker- a healthy relationship can do wonders to heal insecurities and hurts from past wounds. Very few people have no baggage (although some pretend better than others)

[Asker]

Her being overweight is never a deal breaker for me and I've told her thousands times... Yes I also believe love can heal Everything but isn't she talking too much time or it's just me being impatient even after one year passed🤔

[MaverickAngel]

So if its not a dealbreaker- and if neither of you are making plans to see each other anytime soon - I dont get the fixation on a full body pic? If there is enough personality wise to keep the long distance going... then... what's the problem? I dont think anyone should feel pressured o do things in a relationship (although if they dont and it's a dealbreaker the other is free to walk away). Pressure just leads to resentment and other issues...

[EclipseoftheHeart]

How do you know the pics she sends you are actually her? Usually when someone is insecure about their body and don't want to be seen is because they may be a tad overweight. Her actions kind of remind me of the TV Show Catfish, where you only see fake pics of them and when you finally meet she looks more like a cow.

[Asker]

No😅 it's confirmed it's her because we have done video calls but all i see is her face

[EclipseoftheHeart]

Does she have a plump looking face or normal?

[Asker]

Little plump

[EclipseoftheHeart]

A plump face usually accompanies a plump body.

[JessyCostello]

How is she going to love you if she doesn’t love herself

[Asker]

That's what makes me worry

[UglyestGuyEver]

It's easy to love other people but it's easy to hate yourself

[StephenCF]

I’ve been through this with a girl like that online. I might sound mean here, but those girls will get you nowhere, are too sensitive & frustrating to be with after so long, & when you do meet she’ll become clingy, thinking she’s worth nothing to anybody else if she’s that self-conscious.

I’m speaking from experience here. And yes, I did really like her too... until I learned a valuable lesson.

Save yourself for a girl with actual pride; there’s fewer consequences there

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing your experience @stephenCF it's really helpful

[StephenCF]

I’ll always be there to help those in online relationships, knowing what I’ve been through 😉

[coachTanthony]

Why haven't you met yet? Everyone is insecure about things but if she is overly insecure than this will be a tough road to go down. She has to be confident and love herself otherwise you will be playing therapist for sometime to come.

[Desconhecida]

If you are with someone so insecure over an entire year, she must be a beast in bed or you are just an idiot who doesn't grew balls to dump a loser.

☆☆ Advice for Life ☆☆

GHOST HER LIKE MOST MEN AND HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE OR FIND YOUR BALLS TO BE A REAL MAN AND GET REAL... AND DUMP THE CRAZY BITCH.

▪▪I apologize the use of caps but it was only for more urgent and dramatic effect▪▪

[Michellediva]

Have you video chatted with her? I'm only asking because she might be a catfish they're very common with online dating.

[Asker]

Yes have done couple of times

[Michellediva]

ahhh okay yes that's good, just give her affirmation on how beautiful she is, and that you love every part of her inside and out, and that will never change no matter what. To me you're the most beautiful girl in the world and I want to experience all your beauty, you don't have to be shy with me, you can only make me happier.

Besides that she has extremely low self esteem, and she may need therapy to gain confidence. This isn't about you at this time, it's about herself. She may continue to be shy, just keep reaffirming why you're with her, and how you feel about her. Hopefully she can turn it around and open herself up to you completely. I wish the best of luck,, stay positive and don't ever get upset at her for it, otherwise it will make things work. Keep your head up and stay strong and never waiver, maintain your resolve.

[Asker]

I am doing this for almost an year but I'm losing hopes if I can ever make her realize that I love all of her... Don't how long it's gonna take her to open up

[Asker]

Don't know*

[Michellediva]

If you've been doing it for a year, then it won't change until she gets professional help.

[TripleAce]

She’s not ready for a relationship
This is just her comfort zone. You have become her comfort zone. She might want to go further. But she isn’t ready for any of this really
In fact she doesn’t seem ready for the world

Now you have 2 choices
Risk it. And be her knight and shining armor. What ever happens. Happens. Don’t expect anything but hope for the best

Second option. Is let her go. If one year Isn’t enough then nothing will be

[Anonymous]

Maybe she doesn't particularly like photos of herself. Can you respect that aspect, without it affecting your feelings towards her?

[Asker]

But why she doesn't like even if i tell her thousands times in thousands ways with my all heart still it seems not enough for her 😔

[Opinion Owner]

Because it has nothing to do with your compliments, and all to do with her insecurities.

[Pejtu]

What the fuck dude
Its been a year and u haven't seen each other O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O?

[Asker]

Yes bro life is hard..

[Drumlin2001]

Much easier to open up face to face. Why's it taken a year to meet in person?

[Asker]

She tells me she'll come in every second month but don't because of some financial issues and i can't go because of my studies

[Drumlin2001]

So she's cancelled her plans to travel at least 4 times maybe 6 over that timescale. You must have had some time off your studies in the last year. If you really want something there are ways and means of getting there, dosent sound like either of you have made every effort, irrespective of any other issues. Not sure it bodes well for a lasting relationship.

[Anonymous]

Go slow. Keep supporting her she will open up eventually. But if you leave it will get worse

[Asker]

More than an year and still I'm supposed to be slow okay I'll do but why it's me... Sometimes I think if this relationship even gonna work or if she ever gonna open up or leave me because she can't get over of her insecurity

[Opinion Owner]

Well do you like her?

[Asker]

Yes of course I like her but now I'm getting confused

[Opinion Owner]

Then stay with her. She likes you too but she needs her time. Has she told you what happend to her?

[Asker]

Yeah she just tells me that i won't like her if i see her body

[Asker]

But it's not a problem for me or i wouldn't even started the relationship

[Opinion Owner]

Well maybe she was bullied for her weight or something that lead her to believe that. Would it be a dealbreaker if she was overweight?

[Opinion Owner]

Oh okay Well then have you told her that?

[Asker]

Yes i have told her

[Opinion Owner]

Good. Just keep supporting her and she will open up. It might take a week, a month or even another year but once it happends you will be glad you waited.

[lightbulb27]

this no good, frustration. move on.
not that she is bad, but you don't have resources to see her, it's just going to be pain. be kind, move on.

[Jane_anne]

But do you have a prob with her body?

[Asker]

No not at all i love to see her

[Whaaaaa]

Damn why you putting her on blast like that here then