I don’t like my girlfriends best friend. Can I do anything about it?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 14 months. We’ve lived together for 6 of those. I moved in with her. I don’t like her best friend and made a rule that she can’t come here. My girlfriend responded by making sure she goes to her friends house once a week. She even has a key. They don’t have a sexual relationship at all, I know that 100% and believe both when they tell me they’re just close friends. But I don’t like her best friend. I think it’s stupid they make sure to hang out once a week. Who needs to see someone they’re not dating so regularly? Is there any reasonable way to ask my girlfriend to stop hanging out with her? Or do I just deal with it?

What do you do if you can't get along

[Myonzon]

You know if she's best friends with this person for a long time and known each other for awhile, there isn't anything wrong with hanging out once a week. You're just too insecure or probably jealous. I don't know about that weird rule of not letting her come here or whatever but don't mind it much. I have no idea what else you seem bothered by the friend unless you explain a full reasoning of the tea like if you and her dislike each other then we'll figure something out

[D_Bone_Steak]

Ouch! When I read that I get the deep sense that there's a good god damn reason you don't want her hanging out with her... and no, I'm not hinting at attention whore wanting more attention reasons.

Is she pushing her to talk, dance, maybe end up cheating with dudes? ... in clubs/bars for instance? It starts out with stupid shopping trips, but turns into tourist destinations and all nighter clubbing?

[Anonymous]

I'd dump you if you told me I couldn't see my best friend if we were dating. That would cross so many lines and set off all my red flags. You're her partner, not her whole life, and if she's your's then you're probably developing toxic codependency issues.

[pootytangg]

There is nothing you can do about. Her bestfriend was there before you and will continue to be. Make it work with her bestfriend dont be an asshole. The more you push and demand her to cut tides the more she will sneak around to see her.

[DocilexElle]

I see the guy I'm dating a few times a month because our schedules don't line up. I have night shifts, he has day shifts, I work Saturday nights too usually. The only day we both have free is Sunday... and that's if I don't work a night shift on that day! :( I see my best friends once a month.

How often do you see your girlfriend? How long has she known her best friend? Does the girl know you dislike her? What would you like the outcome to be?

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

Tbh I gotta agree with you on that.

I wouldn’t want my husband to go out with a girl every week. And well, my man also has a key to this girls apartment.

I’m sure he wouldn’t like me to have the keys of my friends house either.

If you are a lesbian and she has this close friend (a female) and she is so insistent to see her, I’d also raise an eyebrow.

Talk to her and tell her that this friendship she has is making you very uncomfortable.

[LuWe22]

Nothing you can and should do. It's their best friend if you like it or not. Your girlfriend is not your proverty. You can't decide for her and she can be friends with whoever she wants. They were probably longer friends than you and your girlfriend are a thing. They have history and a connection.

[Hurlyburly]

To be honest, if you'd been my boyfriend I'd dump you the second you'd tried to forbid me to be with my best friend. Who are you to forbid her who he can socialize with or even to set up rules how often she should be "allowed" to see a friend?

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

But would you be okay with that?

Your boyfriend has the keys of this girls apartment and he goes see her every week?

[Hurlyburly]

@WhatTheHellAmy2 if they are best friends since years sure. There's a thing called trust.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

I don't know, there’s a called thing respect and if your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with that it’s also important to respect that.

[Hurlyburly]

@WhatTheHellAmy2 call it what you want, but I'd never forbid my partner to have friends.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

It’s not about forbidding them to have friends. It’s just about being reasonable.

Opposite sex friendships are not so common. One of them always ends up catching feelings.

[Hurlyburly]

@WhatTheHellAmy2 eh.. No. That's far from being "not common". Most of my friends are guys and neithet of us feels anything else for each other than friendship. Some people just get along with the opposite sex better than with their own. And it's not up to you or me to decide that for our partners.
It's not "reasonable", it's just a lack of trust.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

Do you see one of these friends every week?
Do you have the keys of one of them?

[Hurlyburly]

@WhatTheHellAmy2 every couple weeks, we write almost daily though. No, I do not have the keys, would be a bit weird since he's still living with his parents. I do not see an issue with having the spare keys of a friend incase they lock themselves out.

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

That’s different. If they have that type of emergency it’s understandable.

But yeah, I guess you’re right.

Thanks for the convo

[tonicandgin]

I'm laughing everytime u respond. That username whatthehellamy2 makes the argument soo much better

[WhatTheHellAmy2]

@tonicandgin my username is love, my username is life

[Drumlin2001]

Seeing a friend once a week isn't excessive. Your in danger of ruining your relationship over something insignificant. Deal with it

[AmourHoney]

Why don’t you like her? Plus you have no right in telling her who she can or cannot see or be friends with, don’t be so controlling you’re just gonna drive her away from you.

[Blueeyes81]

So you no longer have to see or be around her yet that still is not enough. I'd say the problem lies within you.

[Marshymallow]

You should try to accept the best-friend cause you’re just making things hard for your girlfriend right now. Hope she doesn’t dump you cause of that!

[StubbornAndHopeless]

Girl, you need to learn how to love yourself that way you don’t let the insecurities take over and make you lose someone you care for.

[MissChasityL]

Deal with it, it’s her friend, you can’t do anything about it

[Anonymous]

I never see my best friend once a week? We just don’t have the time for it. Why does she ‘have’ to see her every week? Lol. It’s not really necessary...

[tonicandgin]

Probably to get away from this whacko

[Browneye57]

Just be polite. That's all you owe ANYBODY.
And you get to CHOOSE to engage. Otherwise you're under no obligation to be around her.

[ryan25bb]

Drop your girlfriend and her best friend. Your the man. You give her the ring. You provide the experience. You are the head not the tail. Success and failure will depend on you. If someone gives you bad vibes trust your gut.

[loveslongnails]

No, there isn't unless you want to lose your girlfriend.

[FrostyDaHoMan]

What are you talking about girlfriend? You ain't a guy.

[clampfan101]

If only it were that simple...

[FrostyDaHoMan]

@clampfan101 exactly

[starsnap]

@clamfan101 true that. where's the damn like button?

[Elizabeth00]

She her friend if you can’t trust her you don’t need to be with her. Plus you moved in with her how long they been friends?

[jimyee]

Jesus fucking Christ ypure you're immature.

[ShadowofRegret]

With all due respect, please refrain from using my Lord's name in this.

[jimyee]

Ill say whatever I goddam please. He isn't my Lord and Jesus Christ can go fuck himself.

[jessture]

Houston we have another toxic anon

[CoffeeWC]

that's pretty immature.

[tonicandgin]

Deal with it. It's her BEST friend.

[tonicandgin]

Besides. She compromised by not bringing her over.