Any other men feel similar to me? Read below. Also, women, give your responses, comments, and concerns below? (Page 2)
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I personally do not determine another’s value based on how many people they’ve been with.
Yeah, no one ever said anything about value.
That’s how it comes across... which isn’t bad. I just can’t relate 😂
Well, I wasn’t talking about someone’s value. I was just talking about lack of adequate bonding mainly, among other things.
Wouldn’t that be chalked up to someone’s value—what they can bring to the table, romantically speaking?
Well, I wouldn’t find them to be a desirable person for me to date, but they could be a highly valuable person. It’s like, not liking a woman because she’s Asian, you’re not into Asians, but that doesn’t say anything about her value; you’re just not attracted to her. It’s separate from value.
If you say you don’t feel like they have the ability to connect and love you adequately, it’s because they lack the essentials you require. What they have to offer (or what you presume they have) cannot be used for a greater purpose. You’re mind reduces them as sex objects.
Therefore, they have no value in your mind, romantically.
Yes attraction and value are two different things, until you add context. And you specifically said that you cannot make use of a person for a relationship when you see them as inadequate in certain areas (like bonding).
Yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m implying anything about their value. If we’re talking about a person’s value for life, liberty, and happiness then all of that is separate from what I’m talking about. I’m saying, I think a person’s sexual past has a bearing on how they views intimacy and sex going forward and how I don’t feel like I can really love a person and call her mine/my love because she’s shared intimacy with other people. I can’t, or don’t want to, separate sex from love. It’s almost impossible to think of the other person as anything but another one of your partners you’ve had sex with, even if you indeed like this person. I think there’s a part of you that reduces them to another number like everyone else you’ve been with to a sense. Whenever sex comes, you’re comparing specific movements, smells, sounds, feelings, etc. It’s not your fault, these are almost automatic. I think this prevents you from seeing this situation as a love-making moment with your soulmate, rather, another time having sex like all the rest of the moments. Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic and have always envisioned myself being with a woman who we both have feelings for, without other reference points or factors to diminish that feeling. Cheesy as fuck but it’s the best way I could put it as of current
A person’s value in one thing doesn’t necessarily roll into all areas of life... that was kind of my point.
But anyways, I feel you bro 😂
Yeah, that’s what I was saying as well. Someone’s value and whether or not I want to be with them romantically are two different things. I don’t see how the two are equated in my opinion.
Your reasoning behind your lack of attraction is what lead me to believe that you do not value a specific kind of person romantically, especially if the end result is you reducing them as only useful for a hookup.
That’s all ☺️
I don’t hookup, but I wrote that example to illustrate a point and the fact that I can understand, from those that hookup, why one type of person would be more desirable to just have sex and one type that would be more desirable for wife/husband material. I think you’re using value in a different way than I’m using it, but I think we agree on the same exact thing.
I wasn’t accusing you of hooking up, I’m sorry if it came across that way.
No I didn’t think you were accusing, rather, not knowledgeable as to why I even mentioned that example in my post in the first place, so I had to inform you of why I used it.
I never broach the subject of number of past sexual partners. I am seldom ever asked either. Just better this way.
In the other hand, my friends like to dig about my 'tally'.
I sort of agree but I think we men have a very deep instinct that tells us promiscuous women do not make the best wives and mothers for our children.
Promiscuity is often linked to low self esteem, and that's what makes it a red flag to me.
While I share your beliefs in general, I try to treat each person as an individual. I do not want to lose the exception because I am stuck on the general.
that's normal. Any woman who says you're insecure for caring about it is a slut
I clicked the wrong one but yes i share your beliefs
You sound gay as fuck I personally just wanna fuck these hoes to sleep then toss them to the side of the road it’s dick me down 2019 baby
I know I'm a fucking incel loser but I'd never trust a female who's had plenty of relationships before. Something must've gone wrong and I better dodge the bullet
I’m asking this unironically. Are u trying to make fun of op or are u deadass?
@HottHead the female butthurt downvotes should help you believe what you want to believe about it.
Bro I’m an aspie I don’t understand ded srs
@HottHead >aspie
I see, it is what it is.
I'm not really an incel, but I'm neither in a position I can be of much value to females. That doesn't mean I'll pledge for a relationship with someone who had more choices than I did, yet decided to spent her youth riding the cock caroussel for whatever insecurities she had in her undeveloped, troubled psyche.
You’re perfectly rational.
I can relate
I share your beliefs