My ex is ghosting me. Should I just give him time?

[Anonymous]

I was with my ex for a few years and we were extremely close, he’s my best friend, and all of a sudden he’s changed. He sat me down over a week ago to say he wasn’t happy and gave me a long list of reasons, some irrational, some very true and I apologised, but he was extremely angry. He felt I didn’t support him throughout his college year even though I really did, but during the last 2 weeks I did become needy which i feel stupid over. Whats freaking me out is he was telling me how much he loved me the day before things ended and that he’s had the best few years with me, and he planned ahead a future with us. All he’d talk about is a future with me in it. I got up before we could even confirm the break up because he was so angry, and I said I deserved better and left.

He told me he was numb and stressed with college, and when college finished I got a missed call off him. I went out the same night and had fun with my friends for my sisters birthday (which he knows), and my friend had a video up of me and this guy singing, but my friend was in it too. My ex reacted by deleting the most recent photos of us off Instagram, but kept the older ones. I texted him the next day asking him what’s up, and he’s now ghosting me. I’m really freaked out because this behaviour is really unlike him. He has muted me on every platform. He’s treating me as though I’ve cheated on him or something drastic.

Should I just give him time? I’m freaking out that I’ve pushed him away and he’s trying to move on, when the reality is I don’t want that. I want to fix things but I don’t want to press his buttons if he’s angry at me.

[nerms123]

You keep asking this question lol. Basically you two are not good for each other. You both wanted things to work but they just didn’t and don’t. You’re broken up so you need to accept that and quit trying or hoping to get back together.

[prasanp]

hmm, I guess he is trying to move on. If he trying to do that then just don't interfere, He will probably just going to ignore you. If you already consider him ex then there is no point in fixing anything.

[Asker]

But he rang me on Thursday and I ignored the call. I then went out on Thursday night and texted him back on Friday but had already angrily deleted photos of us. Can I not fix it? The breakup shouldn’t have happened to begin with

[prasanp]

But you don't know exactly why he is angry with you. Despite the list of the reason he had with him to be angry with you, it does not mean anything; He might just be saying it out of anger. Sometimes its not easy to understand guys either, there are two possibilities, One he is not telling you the real reason to be angry with you and next one this one I don't know much stuff, something might you had done or said that hurt him which you are not aware of yourself.
that's your part
next important possibility is that he might be toxic for you or you both were in a toxic relationship. At least I can say one thing, anger shouldn't be the reason to break the relationship; let him cool down for a while before you talk with him. Though if you want to continue the relationship do message him even if he doesn't reply; but don't do it often. If you don't want to continue the relationship just give him the time and talk with him so you both don't break up in a bad term at least.

[Asker]

I’m guessing he is angry because I didn’t call him back and ignored him until the next day. Because why else did he ring me? It looks to me that he rang me when college finished, that maybe things were okay. But I ruined it by ignoring him.
I think I just ruined it a bit by fighting with him a lot, but I have taken time out to realise my mistakes and how to improve on myself. I just want a chance to prove myself. I messaged him on Friday but he hasn’t replied. I don’t want to look needy.

[prasanp]

just do what you want. yeah ignoring him on Thursday might have added more problem to already existed problem. you know how people minds work sometimes like can't she call for minutes even though she is busy or stuff like that. You can fix it but he has to listen to you first. I don't know stuff like seen as needy or not, is not important until you think he is someone you can live with.
Another thing might have happened as she ignores me now I will ignore her. Have patience and talk her in person then message or call.

[Asker]

That could be it. Maybe he is ignoring me on purpose. Do you think that he will stop ignoring me and then I should say how I’m sorry, or should I message him before and say sorry?

[prasanp]

IF you think you have done something wrong then do say sorry first though a message and let's wait for him to reply. But don't expect any good reply, if he is doing on purpose, he will try to make it difficult for you. Though that also means he still wants to continue the relationship with you.

[Asker]

I messaged him about a job interview he was hearing back about, just to wish him luck and he replied instantly. Then I suggested to meet up and he agreed again, and I told him to let me know when he knew his availability, not actually thinking he’d tell me fast, but the second he got his roster he messaged me his availability. He was very cold over texts but he was still responsive? Should I take that as a good or bad thing?

[prasanp]

It's a good thing. This probably means either he is pretending to be cold and making you harder. That's to be expected but it also means he still wants a relationship with you. Sometimes, it's normal for a couple to make other harder; but for now, let's just go with the flow and see how this event will turn out. But try to keep yourself calm in the event if he tries to show angry toward you; I just hope he doesn't say anything to push you away for real.
anyway, best of luck; until now it is not a bad sigh. But the only thing that concerns me is that due to the recent event; he might think you want to talk to him about the break-up. So he might be prepared for the worst result. I hope you made clear to him that you still want a relationship with him.
At least after talking to him, you will clarify what he wants from you or do you still want to have a relationship with him or not.

[Asker]

Yeah i hope you’re right. He said things to try and push me away on our last encounter but that was then, and this is now. I’ve left it 3 weeks to calm down, so I doubt he’ll still be angry? I’m just a bit paranoid because he’s going out of his way to follow girls online (girls who used to like him in the past, who he knew I felt awkward around), and I don’t know why? Like did he do that out of anger? I didn’t actually tell him that I want a relationship with but I think he knows that’s what I want because I did say “I know I messed up” so I’m sure he realises that I am meeting him to apologise for everything. Yeah that’s very true!

[prasanp]

It okay; let's hope for good conversation between you both. about the following the girls, he might just be trying to make you jealous. Let's just focus on the immediate problem and other girl problem is not much of a threat. you just have to wait and see it; At least if you are taking this much trouble, you do have trust on him at least some he won't try to betray you if you both are in a relationship.

[Asker]

I’m not worried about other girls, I think he’s just following them to try and get over me or something though. At least that’s what I’m convincing myself that he’s doing. I trust him completely so I don’t think it’s an issue. But I’m just terrified that I’ll meet him on Friday & he’ll hear my apology but still say he doesn’t want to be with me, and then I’ll feel helpless and hurt, because I know he loves me but it’s as though he’s trying to break away regardless. Even though it makes no sense

[prasanp]

That can be a possibility, but it is not that easy to forget one love; that means even if he is trying to get over you; you still have a chance to make it right.

[Asker]

That’s true, what would be the best way to go into the conversation to make it work? Like to get him to see how much I want to repair it

[prasanp]

it is a difficult part. I think you should take it slowly at the start but don't take a long time to get to the point to tell him that you want to try to fix it.
I don't know what and how he will respond to it. But after telling what you want, let him tell what he wants either it is out of anger or anything. Try to just listen to him. And letting his anger out might actually help to fix the thing, I think people get clam down sooner when they let their anger out then keep it to oneself. Try to listen to him more to know how he feels then telling him that you want to fix the relationship. If you listen, you might know how to fix it, you might even know stuff that you are not aware of before.
Don't worry about seen as needy or not, or anything similar to it; they might just get in your way.
Don't talk like how you want to fix the stuff only, you should ask for his opinion more and as much as possible. I mean, in a relationship things should be acceptable to both, not just one.
I am telling you these all of the thing assuming you want him and you think he could be one for you with whom you can live happily. of course, assuming he is a good person and you are willing to put some more effort for him.

[imgaynoway]

Be careful he may be letting u think he's changed only too become much more dangerous possessive and even more but may be he just saw the light.. lets hope so.

[Asker]

What do you mean that he may have seen the light?

[imgaynoway]

Maybe he really changed and realizes he can't chance losing u... be careful though change is rare.

[Asker]

You really think so?
Should I give him space? Because he’s completely ghosting me and ignoring my message

[thonglover90]

Give him time before he ends up hating you. You're not together anymore. You should move on

[Anonymous]

Would you like feeling unsupported or seeing him sing next to another girl you never seen before? You sound selfish

[Anonymous]

Just give it some time.

[LolaDolly]

Leave that boy alone.

[Anonymous]

Give him time.

[Asker]

Okay I will, thank you ❤️ do you think it’ll be ok?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, just give space and time.

[Asker]

I really hope you’re right. Do you think he’ll reach out positively in his own time?