Do you care if your mother approves of your partner?

Question

I honestly couldn't care less but it still feels nice that my mom likes my girlfriend so much and seemed more interested in me as well. I hope I'm not fooling myself.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

No. Being a masculine leader means you must make decisions not stress over other’s opinions or their feelings about your decisions.

I mean if your decision is about your life or impacting it. In this case you’re talking about your relationship to your chosen woman.

I would have a different opinion if you lived in a culture where your parents select your mate for political & financial benefits that they & you get out of it. In those cultures your parents have a stake in your relationship. You could opt out but by default your parents would have rights just like a sports agent or business manager.

My opinions are based on my life experiences: seeing parents never consult their grandparents on decisions. Seeing siblings never consult anyone on their opinions. Yet all of these people attempted to exert control in my life/relationships which is much more my business than theirs.

I have also seen how mom’s decisions lead towards what’s best for her not me. By sheer coincidence it might sometimes benefit me to follow that but I’m way better off making my own decisions.

0112358 · Accepted Answer

In think in your case it’s your girlfriend not your mother to prep. You tell her you love your mother but she plays games and isn’t reliable. So actually, your girlfriend doesn’t NEED to impress your mother, for you. I expect your mother is sometimes charming and if your girlfriend enjoys her company great, if not so be it.

As for your mother... as you become an adult think Of her more like an aunt. By that I mean... she’s family and you can see her more or less over the years but you don’t expect any more of her then you would from an aunt or cousin (ie it’s nice when you can help each other but you’d never rely on it).

DeeDeeDeVour · Accepted Answer

Yes, it's important to me that my mom approves of my partner. In fact, the approval of both my parents are important to me.

My folks adored my 1st boyfriend. It's a good thing my parents kept an open mind when they met my next boyfriend who, after repeated breakups & getting back together with, later became my husband. Now, they love my husband like he's their own son.

Hamsteroids · Accepted Answer

Of course. I want both of my parents to approve and like the guy I’m dating. If they’re a good person, there should be no reason why they’d hate him. But if they do, that’s something to probably be wary of. Maybe your parents are seeing something you’re not.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I care whether my mother likes my partner because it simplifies my life if there is not conflict between mother and girlfriend, but my mother's disapproval would never be a deal breaker.

Rei02 · Answer

I do at some point uncounsciously, but I shouldn't because in my case my mother is a very difficult person. I mean, since I was little and invited my friends or when I went to a party, my mother always, ALWAYS has disaproved my friend choices, she always sees something bad or negative in each desicion I take, adding in other events.

Dongtai · Answer

My father told me not to date white women because deep down a white woman will always want a white man and I will always want a black woman deep down.

Currently dating a white woman. Never dated a black woman.

Parents aren’t always right. They’re human and faulty just like everyone else.

QueenTanya · Answer

I do care. I would like to have my mother's approval, she's older and obviously has more experience. She's still happily married to my father, and no matter how old I get, I'll always ask for guidance/approval on things like that. 'Cause when you're blinded by love, it's hard to see red flags in your potential partner. It's always better to get second opinions. If my mother has valid reasons to her disapproval of you, I'll take it into close consideration.

Vick2727 · Answer

Ok stop listening to the people here, and just listen to me. Who cares what your family think. If you love someone be with them. No matter the color of their skin or beliefs. Love them. The only time you listen to your family is if you are in a terrible relationship. But who care’s what they think.

rgb008 · Answer

oh yes, I care!
I have a very close relationship with my family and I would love for everyone to approve of my boyfriend. it means a lot to me if they do! Family is very important to me.
But I mean if they didn't, it wouldn't make me end the relationship. It would just make me a little sad :( because I would like for everyone to get along and be happy :)

ChiTown33 · Answer

I've answered this question before. I would be concerned if my morher didn't approve. Not because i need her approval. But my entire family is VERY accepting. If they don't like you there's good reason to be alarmed.

nerms123 · Answer

Thankfully my parents don’t get involved in my love life. If I introduce a boyfriend they’re just like hey how’s it going 😂

BeMuse · Answer

No, I’m the one that has to live with my own relationship... My mom would give any girl I was dating more chances than I would give her so I don’t think that’d ever be an issue to begin with. I’m a more shrewd judge of character and less forgiving.

sexyasianboi26 · Answer

Yeah. It’s backwards for me. If she approves then that means this girl is going to give me a hard time later on.

My uncle has been spot on with the girls I was with though. Because I had good experiences with them.

BlackRoseFairy · Answer

Up to a point... Considering that in the past she misjudged many of the guys I met...
But she's my mom, I know that even if she's not 100% approving him she wouldn't compromise my happiness for her opinion, and I know those would derive from her worries for me.

It's just that if I am sure about him I will do my best to show her what I see and give her time to get to know him better.

chantrllr · Answer

Couldn’t care less, but it would be nice if they did approve. Not that I have a partner atm. But would make things easier for family get together. My family’s never judged any of my partners tho, which is nice.

CarpetDenim · Answer

I don’t have a mother, but I don’t really care if my father approves of my partner. It would be nice if he did, but I wouldn’t dump my boyfriend or anything just because my dad didn’t like him.

jesskrs101 · Answer

As annoying as it can be sometimes, yes I dont want both my rents to hate the person I'm with everytime that I bring him around. Unless it's a stupid reason for not liking him, than I would trust my mother who has known me for all my life than someone who I haven't been with for as long.

AbleLearner · Answer

My mother is a racist, and the woman I am about to meet is obviously from another race, so I probably will not even introduce her to my mother right away, I haven't figured out what to do about this problem yet, but I don't want my mother, nor especially her idiot husband (my step-father) saying something inappropriate to her, which given how stupid they can be sometimes, I wouldn't put it past them to actually say something racist to her face.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I love my mother, but I wouldn’t care if she didn’t like my girlfriend or partner to be honest. When it comes to this topic, I only look to myself to decide if I really want to be with this person or not. I get other people’s take or opinion, but it’s really me that I consult.

_SOARER_ · Answer

I am the only person my mom has left.  Its very important to me.  I will probably have my mom move in with me in a few years.

kamiljano · Answer

My mum approves of any woman I ever present to her. What she's not happy about is that there has been so many of them by now... I also know she would never approve it if I turned out to be gay :P we once had a very explicit conversation on this topic :P

Anyway, in the end it is not your mum that has to live with your partner, but you. If she doesn't like your partner, well, that's her problem.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I care in that it creates family tension and frustration if she doesn't. I read your story on your mom, I don't know how I'd deal with that as I haven't been there.

stuntbrain · Answer

Mother doesn't allow me to date

Do you care if your mother approves of your partner?

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