Anyone get bored in their marriage/relationship?

[Anonymous]

I've been married for 13 years and I love my wife and kids and would never leave them. I do however want to have a NSA relationship with a woman who is in the same position... does this make me a horrible person?

[nella965]

I think this is actually more common than you think. It is only morally correct to tell your wife about this. I knew a guy who cheated on his wife and promises to never do it again. Now, he's cheating more behind her back. He has no intentions of leaving her but still, its not fair to your wife. You're basically lying to your wife, leading double lives. If you keep this up, one day she will sense that something is off. So just be careful.
There are ethically non monogamous marriages out there too.
This is why not everyone is suitable for marriage. Some people just get bored.

[btbc92]

Yes, it does. Because how can you marry somebody, claim you love them but you want to cheat on your wife? Do that and get caught she'll divorce you and your kids are going bye-bye. You best to just tell your wife the truth that you don't want her anymore. You got married to handle your obligations. You have a FAMILY. It is not about you. You can't handle it? Shouldn't have got married, or kids and should have just stayed single. You're bored? Your problem. Go do something productive in your life. You do not need to be married and is damaging your family.

[Asker]

I never have cheated I'd feel like shit if I did. I have daughters and I think about what would happen to them if I fucked up like that. I tdd s all just thoughts, I have no plans to act

[btbc92]

Those thoughts should NEVER cross your mind. Whatever is going on in your marriage, you have to fix it.

[Asker]

It's being worked on.. this is why I posed the question. I appreciate your candor

[Apple1996]

I've been married for 4 years but together almost 7 and no definitely not bored yet

[ChronicThinker]

I don't think having thoughts like that make you a bad person, but I think not acknowledging that doing so is going to hurt and destroy your family just because you're bored shows you're either struggling severely with mental health, or you're extremely selfish, or perhaps a narcissist.

If you're not happy, you need to start with your wife and see if she would be open to such a thing and if not, if it's better to separate or work it out.

[AnomalousPearl]

I have trouble imagining that going over well with your wife, and this really isn’t the sort of thing you should be discussing with a female friend. Try to work on the relationship you already have, figure out exactly why it is that you’re bored and address it, maybe even do a little solo counseling or couples counseling. When you got married you at least implied that you would be faithful to each other, and telling her you want to be unfaithful ahead of time doesn’t automatically negate that.

[Anonymous]

Do you find her boring because you’re no longer physically and sexually attracted to her? So it’s more the... she doesn’t turn you on anymore?

[Nikki1989]

I have never been bored in a relationship.

[Asker]

That's awesome... ho early I think she just feels old... missionary and doggy are great but nothing else? Any Ideas how to present new things?

[ZELLxoxo]

What's NSA?

[Asker]

No Strings Attached

Uncommitted adult fun time

[ZELLxoxo]

Oh. Uhm.

I mean I get how you are feeling. It's been 13 years. So the novelty and the excitement can fade in that time.
But whatever you do. Don't cheat, it'll break her heart.

[Asker]

Dont plan on it.. I'm just curious about my thoughts. I dont like thinking about it and I try not to but my wife is just so boring now.
I love her to death and would never intentionally hurt her but.. damn u know

[ZELLxoxo]

What makes her boring?

Also, what excites you?

[Asker]

Ok um well I like when I can give oral. I swear I'd stay down there for a year straight if possible. I'd do it with no reciprocation. Any other position besides missionary and doggy is nice. Or even her letting me watch while she plays alone is hot. Naked oiled massages for her. Sometimes maybe making demands of me..

[ZELLxoxo]

So it's about intimacy. Talk to her about this

[Asker]

I've tried... she's just uncomfortable since she gained weight and won't open up anymore. I dont know..
I

[ZELLxoxo]

She feels not very pretty anymore.
You need to make her feel comfortable and also appreciate her beauty so she'll feel desirable again.

[Asker]

I try. I tell her all the time she's hot and flirt with her.. she blushes and says we will ay later.. and then it's no play time. It just sex.. I don't know maybe I just dont turn her on anymore

[nella965]

You need to let your wife understand that her lack of reciprocation in sex is really bothering you. Because unless you get the issues resolved , your thoughts of no strings attached sex with someone else WILL resurface eventually. You both have many years of life remaining together. If you can’t resolve these issues now, what will happen 20 years later? I’ve seen this type of shit over and over again where wives are unwilling to make their marriages work out. It takes work to maintain a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Asker]

Nope to horrible person or nope to bored?

[Opinion Owner]

Bored.