My mom (43) is dating a much younger guy (27). Does the age gap make them incompatible? Should I tell my concerns to my mom to prevent heartbreak? (Page 3)
The age difference is a direct reflection of a maturity difference. He has a significant maturity gap with my mom. He's a lot more impulsive and is a bit egotistical. I'm not saying he's drastically impulsively impulsive and egotistical, but it's certainly enough that there's a fair maturity difference between him and my mom. He also still likes to go party on weekends and be a little wild. Again, I'm not saying that he's extremely like this, but he's enough like this that it shows a significant maturity difference between him and my mom. Furthermore, he's just finishing grad school and she's already established in her career/she already has 2 kids and he has none so they're at very different stages in their lives. Moreover, I think she's not able to fully assess the relationship because she's somewhat thinking with her crotch (the fact she thinks he's hot and really enjoys the sex clouds her judgement in other places).
Also, another thing that I think clouds her judgement is she thinks he's more likely to get her pregnant (she wants 1 more kid) at the ending of the years she can potentially get pregnant/get birth.
I get all that, it's still her choice to make whether good or bad. It's not your place to intervene because she's a grown woman. Again you seemed more focused on her life than yours. Are all your affairs in order that you have enough free time to be so judgmental and observant? I get that you are looking out for her, but to want to intervene might be crossing the line.
Why does it matter they are not married and she wants to have a baby? If they make each other happy, surely your mum's happiness should be all that matters to you.
So what if they're not married? It's her relationship. Grow up.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Your mom is a different place in her life with grown children. She is not even married to this guy but talking pregnancy? Why do people purposely screw their children’s lives up for selfish reasons? Even child deserves two parents who love one another in a loving, well-founded marriage.. anything less shortchanges the kid
Look, if you're so jealous of her, maybe if you ask her nicely she'll let you borrow him occasionally and you won't have to masturbate to them having sex so often.
Just leave her alone.. age gap doesn't matter because she loves him and he loves her. Hell I'm in age gap but it doesn't matter to us , ( 41 and im 23 )
Yes any time there is that big of a age gap something fishy is going on. Those type of relationships always feel. Regardless if its older man dating younger woman or in your moms case older woman dating younger man.
I've seen it work till death did they part with 16 yr and 30 year age gaps between the people that make up the couple. I don't think you have to worry.
If they are on the same maturity level which I know they arnt... Maybe he needs a mothering influence? Who knows? But if they are happy , hey let them be. Not for us to tell anybody who they can be with..
Well I'm 36 and use to date 19-21 yo girls, never had an age gap problem so... Why would you think you're mom isn't aware of that "age gap"? You ever thought she maybe wants it that way? Maybe it's only you who has a problem with age gaps!
He has a significant maturity gap with my mom. He's a lot more impulsive and is a bit egotistical. I'm not saying he's drastically impulsively impulsive and egotistical, but it's certainly enough that there's a fair maturity difference between him and my mom. He also still likes to go party on weekends and be a little wild. Again, I'm not saying that he's extremely like this, but he's enough like this that it shows a significant maturity difference between him and my mom. Furthermore, he's just finishing grad school and she's already established in her career/she already has 2 kids and he has none so they're at very different stages in their lives
Having a kid with him could be an issue as well. I'm not sure how solid the relationship is. I think my mom is rushing into trying to get pregnant because she's worried she doesn't have much time left to get pregnant again (which is a bit of a catch 22) and she thinks he's more likely to get her pregnant as he has younger sperm. If she's going to have another kid with someone I think her relationship with the guy should be solid long term, and her relationship with him may not be.
Let her live her life. if they dont have any problem with age difference, why are u bothered. If she wants to have kids , why are u bothered. Her life, her decisions.
Age is nothing in relationship what relationship need is to let 2 soul be together so they won't be cheating, lie and breakup,,, love must be the pillar of relationship
Good for your mom. Let her be happy. She may never find a permanent soulmate, or this guy may work out long term. I don't think your feelings on this are more important than hers
Home > Relationships > Questions > My mom (43) is dating a much younger guy (27). Does the age gap make them incompatible? Should I tell my concerns to my mom to prevent heartbreak?
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The only hang up you have is his age. Your mother is a grown ass woman, let her live her life and focus on your own. You have too much free time.
The age difference is a direct reflection of a maturity difference. He has a significant maturity gap with my mom. He's a lot more impulsive and is a bit egotistical. I'm not saying he's drastically impulsively impulsive and egotistical, but it's certainly enough that there's a fair maturity difference between him and my mom. He also still likes to go party on weekends and be a little wild. Again, I'm not saying that he's extremely like this, but he's enough like this that it shows a significant maturity difference between him and my mom. Furthermore, he's just finishing grad school and she's already established in her career/she already has 2 kids and he has none so they're at very different stages in their lives.
Moreover, I think she's not able to fully assess the relationship because she's somewhat thinking with her crotch (the fact she thinks he's hot and really enjoys the sex clouds her judgement in other places).
Also, another thing that I think clouds her judgement is she thinks he's more likely to get her pregnant (she wants 1 more kid) at the ending of the years she can potentially get pregnant/get birth.
I get all that, it's still her choice to make whether good or bad. It's not your place to intervene because she's a grown woman. Again you seemed more focused on her life than yours. Are all your affairs in order that you have enough free time to be so judgmental and observant? I get that you are looking out for her, but to want to intervene might be crossing the line.
Why does it matter they are not married and she wants to have a baby?
If they make each other happy, surely your mum's happiness should be all that matters to you.
So what if they're not married?
It's her relationship. Grow up.
Your mom is a different place in her life with grown children. She is not even married to this guy but talking pregnancy? Why do people purposely screw their children’s lives up for selfish reasons? Even child deserves two parents who love one another in a loving, well-founded marriage.. anything less shortchanges the kid
She is only 13 years older
Look, if you're so jealous of her, maybe if you ask her nicely she'll let you borrow him occasionally and you won't have to masturbate to them having sex so often.
Your mom is desperately trying to hold onto her lost youth. She won't listen to anything you have to say.
After age 40 a woman's fertility drops off like a rock, so her boyfriend will have to fuck her like crazy to get her pregnant.
My mom got pregnant at the age of 46 from her boyfriend..!
@Samantha_17 He must have hit her with some super-sperm, that or they did some kind of treatment and never told you about it.
It's not so much that she's "trying to hold onto her youth" as that she really wants another kid.
So what? Men does that too
She aborted the pregnancy.
I hear you on this, my dad is 77 and is dating a 23 year old. Ever since my mom died, he gone goofy and flaky
Just leave her alone.. age gap doesn't matter because she loves him and he loves her. Hell I'm in age gap but it doesn't matter to us , ( 41 and im 23 )
You really get a sense for how significantly short our lives are when you think less than 20 years is a big deal.
Let her handle her own business.
Yes any time there is that big of a age gap something fishy is going on. Those type of relationships always feel. Regardless if its older man dating younger woman or in your moms case older woman dating younger man.
My parents had a sinficant age Gap so I beg to differ. Nothing wrong with one.
@wolfie_wolf There is a big difference between 30's vs -50's or something.
My parents age Gap is actually larger then theirs.
If she is happy then the matter is solved and also having a sibling might be a great thing for you :)
I'm just concerned she's overlooking some major red flags.
I've seen it work till death did they part with 16 yr and 30 year age gaps between the people that make up the couple. I don't think you have to worry.
If they are on the same maturity level which I know they arnt... Maybe he needs a mothering influence? Who knows? But if they are happy , hey let them be. Not for us to tell anybody who they can be with..
Well I'm 36 and use to date 19-21 yo girls, never had an age gap problem so... Why would you think you're mom isn't aware of that "age gap"? You ever thought she maybe wants it that way? Maybe it's only you who has a problem with age gaps!
Do you want to see your mother glad and feel good or do you want to control it and mess it up?
Why are you more fixated on the age difference than the quality of the guy's personality?
Because it does indicate major problems I think will likely come up in their relationship: being in different stages in life and maturity differences.
Why do you think they're in different stages of life just because of their age? Do you have reason to believe that this guy is immature?
He has a significant maturity gap with my mom. He's a lot more impulsive and is a bit egotistical. I'm not saying he's drastically impulsively impulsive and egotistical, but it's certainly enough that there's a fair maturity difference between him and my mom. He also still likes to go party on weekends and be a little wild. Again, I'm not saying that he's extremely like this, but he's enough like this that it shows a significant maturity difference between him and my mom. Furthermore, he's just finishing grad school and she's already established in her career/she already has 2 kids and he has none so they're at very different stages in their lives
Having a kid with him could be an issue as well. I'm not sure how solid the relationship is. I think my mom is rushing into trying to get pregnant because she's worried she doesn't have much time left to get pregnant again (which is a bit of a catch 22) and she thinks he's more likely to get her pregnant as he has younger sperm. If she's going to have another kid with someone I think her relationship with the guy should be solid long term, and her relationship with him may not be.
Let her live her life. if they dont have any problem with age difference, why are u bothered. If she wants to have kids , why are u bothered. Her life, her decisions.
Would you listen to your mother's concerns about your relationship, if the shoe was on the other foot?
Age is nothing in relationship what relationship need is to let 2 soul be together so they won't be cheating, lie and breakup,,, love must be the pillar of relationship
Good for your mom. Let her be happy. She may never find a permanent soulmate, or this guy may work out long term. I don't think your feelings on this are more important than hers