What are some signs that your relationship will last?

[anniisa]

This question is mostly aimed at people who have been in long term relationships, but if anyone else wants to share anything they have learned from previous relationships, feel free to answer.

[DestinyElizabeth04]

There's a lot of signs that relationships will work and I will give my personal examples but do keep in mind that there is no right formula to a healthy and long term relationship. It really boils down to you and your partners needs and desires. So with me, I had dated a guy for 7 years prior to my current boyfriend. We had 3 kids together. Everyone thought we were going to be together forever. But realistically me and my ex had nothing in common, which led to us disrespecting one another in more ways than one and we truly did not care if we did or not. I didn't care if he was sexually satisfied, as long as I was and he was the same way with me. I didn't care if he was happy and he didn't care if I was. Ultimately our differences is what destroyed us in the long run. However, with my current boyfriend it is completely different. We have been together nearly 3 years now and it sounds weird but our connection is so strong that I'm not satisfied unless he is. Take last night for instance.. we are having sex and he could not get off. He kept getting distracted and it was making him feel like shit about himself because let's face it, women are insecure and if your partner can't get off you start thinking their is something wrong with you or that he's lost interest. So, even though I had already gotten off, I was not satisfied. Because he wasn't satisfied. And I took it as a challenge and I did end up getting him off. The second he got off I had this overwhelming satisfaction. Because I care about him and I care when he is satisfied more than I care about my needs. It's all about connection. When he's happy, I'm happy. When he is upset, I am too and I will do everything in my power to lift his spirits. It doesn't always work but I try like hell. I care about pleasing him in any way I can. Its wanting to make a dinner that you know your partner loves even when you dont feel like cooking because seeing them happy lifts you up. Its buying a new video game to add to his 68 games because it makes him happy, even though you hate video games. It's about respecting your partners space and being willing to give it to them even when you want to be shoved up their ass because you know he needs it. And the big one.. it's about stepping outside of your comfort zone to meet that person half way. My boyfriend and I come from very different upbringings. While we have so very much in common, we still have a huge mix of difference in opinion. But instead of shooting his opinions down, I listen to his point of view and I match that. I dont change my opinions. That's not healthy. But I acknowledge his and I meet him half way and we compromise. There will always be arguments. There will always be a rough road ahead. And the biggest thing you need to have in a long term relationship is respect. Respect for your partners needs, desires, goals and ambitions.

[nelly83]

1. Since the beginning of the relationship , you both were mad about each other and you both just knew that something very unique has been formed.

2, you both are compatible which means little to no fights , you both have compatible temperaments And similar interests.

Often when I’m out in the first few dates with a guy I can tell if it’s gonna last forever. Usually when he says he appreciates simply your presence of being there , not only the way you talk or behave. You’ve hit the jackpot

[Punkbuster107]

How do you resolve your conflicts? If you work through them with humility and gentleness, (even if there are bumps along the way) and make sure not to shove them off / sleep on them / let them fester indefinitely, there is a good chance you'll continue to grow into people who are compatible for each other, even if you start your relationship with incompatibilities.
Starting a relationship with compatibility is fine and good, but the more time you spend with a spouse the more bigger your once-deemed-small incompatibilities become. That is why I believe the willingness to discuss each other's differences, flaws, and shortcomings and make an honest mutual effort to overcome them is of key importance. Its important that neither couple has any major differences with regard to deal-breakers though (i. e., things they cannot or will-not change for their S. O., like their religion, convictions, moral system, relationship with family members, etc.)

[Telekinetic-Potato]

When you can hate someone for a moment and in that moment love them just as much as you do in any surrounding moments, and if they can feel the same way about you, that's pretty unbreakable.

In other words, when your patience for each other doesn't run dry, that's a very good sign that it's gonna last for a while.

And being able to manage time apart and with each other in a way you're both comfortable with. That's another big one I think.

[AmandaYVR]

I have read that the answer to this question is definitive - it is how you both resolve (or don't resolve) conflict.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think if both parties are willing to alter their behaviour for the other person and to abandon the relationship if they are being disrespected

[potatoiswhoiam]

If both of you are emotionally mature, communicating your feelings and fears and being open to a discussion, instead of being passive aggressive, in addition if you both make efforts, encourage self growth as well as growth of the relationship, give each other space when needed, approach the relationship with a mindset where you do things without expecting something in return, and are respectful of each other then most likely your relationship will last long.

[HOAAH]

I have been married ten years.

My husband and I say stuff like, we will never want a divorce. We get mad, then cool down in a day.

We have no money problems.

Neither one of us would ever cheat on the other.

We show that we love each other by being kind, thoughtful and considerate.

We daily talk about everything.

I can't think of anything else right now but ofcourse there's all the other small stuff like glue that keeps us together.

[TremorJay]

What do you consider long term? None of mine lasted more than 18 months

[anniisa]

I would say about two years, but if you have anything to say go ahead

[TremorJay]

In terms of premarital relationships:

A relationship will only last if there is commitment on both ends. On my end I would visualize my future with this person. If I feel good about it, I'm committed.

For the other half, I would judge her level of commitment by her behavior. Serious red flags are excess drama, or entertaining advances from other potential partners. If these 2 things are absent, I would consider her committed.

I think we get blindsided when the obvious red flags aren't there and the relationship still ends. If, I were to place myself in my ex-girlfriends shoes, there were few signs she wasn't addressing with me. Early on, I had expressed doubt, because I didn't feel a strong connection. We continued to spend time together and she once asked me if I still felt "something was missing". You could say I lied, or you could say that I decided to be optimistic in that moment and not compare my current relationship to past experiences.

I don't think my behavior was very telling, but I know I said things, specifically about eye contact. We didn't share a lot of eye contact and I felt like that was a barrier for me. We never really addressed that.

So, in summary, the signs are:
1. No excess drama
2. No entertaining third-party advances
3. No expression of doubt
4. Stellar communication
5. Shared vision of the future

[anniisa]

Damn this is a good answer

[arabgoddess]

I love your response 😍 😍

[TremorJay]

Hey thanks 😁

[katjmj]

"a relationship will only last if there is commitment on both ends"

--that is so true

[motherknowsbest]

The little things. Remembering what rum he likes to drink or to pick up things that are not important to you for him. Making things that, to you seem inconsequential, but to him are big, and treating them with importance. And the biggest kicker? Is when your partner does those for you as well.

[Elsa143]

HONESTY, emotional/mental connection, understanding CARING and Communication should be consistent. That's it you need to have a long term relationship.
Do Not entertain lies, mind games, emotional detachment and unavailability.

[EGarzona]

Some signs that I have seen are that couples who last never break the amount of attention they give each other and they have strong verbal and none verbal communication with each other.

[zoe2187]

Communication is #1. Without that a relationship is worthless. For me the guy needs to not get on my nerves. I’m selective when it comes to spending too much time with one person. Never lose yourself. Compromise when it’s important. Grow together.

[ecfresh]

If you can have arguments and find compromises after them

[Reaperbot666]

trust, loyalty, honesty, respect all takes time to build or rebuild. but can go away in a heartbeat.
having a strong bond to each other with physically, mental, sexual and emotion attraction.

[CuriousGuyP1]

Respect , but proper respect. Trusting them. Not being insecure like stopping them from interacting with opposite sex people. Communication is key

[dragoblack]

Communication, and still loving eachother even when things are rough

[kaylad23]

I agree with that though i struggle to communicate my feelings sometimes but me and my girlfriend have had it rough at times we also got through it.

[OddBeMe]

You spend majority of time with them. Even if it’s just sitting and reading separately. .

[najekim]

The wife has been putting up with me for 25 years. Does that count?

[COMMODOREII]

Good luck on that one. Im single and still wonder that myself.

[Shellyworld]

Respect - that is the key and the lock at the same time.

[mynameisRIS]

You have to be committed fully through the good times and bad times

[jimmy2]

I was married for 36 plus years. We made it work through communications, prayer and forgivness

[devilsfan884]

When we were both mature enough to accept each other's faults, and mature enough to accept our own.

[Anonymous]

If you can make past 10 years, the changes double it will last.

[Anonymous]

Beats the fuck out of me. Mine cheats on me every chance she gets.

[Stella_79]

You can laugh together.

[hsshannah96]

I don’t know relationships don’t last

[R3DthatDude]

I can tell from our conversation alone

[noobnewb213]

mutual respect

[WarDaddy1969]

My girl says sex dont matter it does.

[Shellyworld]

Sometimes it matters but not always. Asexual people also have long lasting relationships.

[Anonymous]

lol no

[anniisa]

That made sense