My boyfriend is pressuring me to have an abortion? He said I have to choose the pregnancy or him? Please help? (Page 2)

Question

Hi everyone. I found out last week that I am 5 weeks pregnant, my boyfriend is 27 and I'm 27. He wants me to have an abortion, and he keeps saying things like "all my friends have done it, you'll be fine its just a heavier period" his argument is that he will lose me if I continue with the pregnancy, and I told him he won't because I don't want to lose him, but he's saying he will lose me because he will be MISERABLE and probably run away. He keeps saying "you have to trust me and you'll thank me in a couple of years that you got rid of it" the thing is I don't want too get rid of it, I have a great family who supports me, I have friends. I don't agree with abortion, I never did. I feel like I'd literally be doing it for me. He's been telling me he's back on the drink since I told him, and that he needs sleeping pills at night to help him sleep because he's so stressed, He said I can't think about myself i have to think of the relationship and him. He's putting me under a lot of pressure. He also said 'we can't go to gigs, dates, we won't have a life with this baby" I feel like he's just talking about himself that he won't be able to do these things because not once has he even taking me to a "gig" he said I have to be on the same page as him, and please don't do this to him. He hasn't cared about my feelings at all. He wants to see me today to talk and sort this once and for all Please help. Thank u x

DiscomfortZone · Answer

1) It takes a real bitch, like the worse kind of female filth, to have a baby unwanted by its father. I mean what the fuck are you trying to prove, and to whom?
2) Then again, if a dude is stupid enough to get a girl pregnant when he's still too weak and immature to be a father - that's his fucking problem and such levels of stupidity indeed ought to hurt. I mean, you know women have all the power in this regard, you know she can decide to have the baby and fuck you with child support fot two decades, so how could you be so stupid?

His stupidity aside - a baby needs both parents, needs to be loved and wanted. Don't have an oopsie baby, you'll just fuck up its mental state as soon as its old enough to understand...

Twoof · Answer

You know I think he's full of shit and scared. If I were you and I wanted to keep this baby I would just tell him bye. If he leaves you then he never really cared about you to begin with and a matter a fact I would let him go anyway. First of all he's not much of a man if he can't and won't take care of his own kid. personally I think he's a peace of shit cause if he leaves you for wanting to keep your baby then he will leave you for slot less. Let him go now. If he's a real man and he loves you then he won't go at all. I just hope he realizes that he's gonna help with the kid either way.
Good luck mom.

Ianto · Answer

There are two very different positions here.
1.) If you stopped using contraception without his knowledge, then his position is reasonable. You have inflicted responsibilities on him without his agreement.
2.) Otherwise, if he was happy to risk your getting pregnant, he ought to take responsibility. His insisting you have an abortion, against your will, indicates a complete moral vacuum, who cares for nothing other than his own selfish pleasure. You have no future with this guy. You have to decide if you wish to become the single mother of the child of a worthless absentee father, or have the abortion and see the relationship fall apart because of your own resentment and emotional distress.

jgokgotit · Answer

Abortion is murder. He is basically saying "Kill the baby or lose me". That is not a real man. He should be supporting you, not giving you ultimatums. You do not need a man like that. You are pregnant now because of a choice you both made. Why should the baby suffer for it? A real man would love his child instead of insisting on killing it.

Anonymous · Answer

You wisely acknowledge that this baby is a living being. You obviously care, but this situation is causing your boyfriend to mature quicker than he'd like to, but there is no going back. Killing the child will carry more pain than a miscarriage and most women regret it later in life. The baby is his as well, but he doesn't want to face facts. Tell him to grow up, if he does he will come back around. It's obvious you still care, but he's so self-absorbed and immature, he's blinded to your love. This situation causes most men to mature, but many resist. Protect your child and remind him he's fricken 27 grow up already.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Irrespective of what ypu do with baby you should get rid of him. What a nasty person.
You have a support network, if you lean in them you can still have a life. Sure it changes life but it's great (have a 7 month old, i'm exhausted but wouldn't change it).
He may just be freaking out. He may come round. He has a lot of making up to do.
If he does walk away be sure to get the child maintenace from him.

thecharmander21 · Answer

He sounds really insecure. The thing is if he is 27 and not ready to have a child he won't be when he is 37. Don't abort the child because worst case scenario he actually does leave you when the baby is born and you find a man who will actually support you and help you raise the child. Otherwise he might change his mind when he sees his kid born.

Shengning · Answer

Do you know too many abortion times would cause unable to get pregnant? I heard a story from a friend of mine, some women lost the ability because of it. And there again, divorce break up cause single mother, single mother may create an incomplete childhood. Such hard to choose question, why doesn't him use a condom in the first place?
My Opinion is, if it's your first time abortion it'll be okay to do that, and after it you should break up with your irresponsible boyfriend. If you want the baby besides the effect later would cause on him, I still suggest break up, because he will be a bad father.

Jessie91331 · Answer

tl:dr... Your relationship is already over, so decide, do you want to be a single mom or just single. You have an immature jerk who can't take responsibility and you are too immature cuz there are precautions you could have taken to not get pregnant.
Sorry for sounding like a bitch, just.. met too many girls like you and each time, the only one who really suffers is the kid.

Broken_doll · Answer

I think I would dump a guy like that regardless of what I want to do with the baby. If a guy throws me an ultimatum like that, it means he thinks I am disposable. No thanks, I only go for supportive men.
Have the baby and date someone else lol

Brianna181808 · Answer

Don't do it for him. Men will come an go a baby is forever it's you it's yours I had one and in doing so it somehow left me infertile now I can't take that back I'll never get to know that kind of love and joy if he loves u or is any kind of man u want to have in your life hell come around a be who u and ur baby need him to be if not someone else will an they'll love the both of you please please do what YOUR heart says not anyone else not him not ur family just you and your heart

Tammy94 · Answer

Where does he get off issuing you ultimatums? It's your decision. If you have an abortion because he tells you to, I guarantee that either you will lose him anyway or else you will wish you had.

Anonymous · Answer

No, you trust Yourself to know what you want, but you also take into account his feelings since it's also his child. Are you okay raising a child without a father? Taking the child's feelings into account too? It's not an easy decision, farb from, but take some distance from him to get clear on what YOU think too after hearing him out. Then decide, that's your best chance of having no regrets.

Itsok2behapp-e · Answer

This will not help you at all but bear with me.

As a woman society applauds you for having an abortion. They all scream "It's YOUR body YOU can do what YOU want"

Yet the same society won't allow YOU NOT to have the vaccine if you don't want it. Oh YOU must have it because we TELL you to... Well whose fucking body is it then?

Don't have the abortion if you don't want to but tell him "I'll stay with you if you chop off your d*ck." See how he responds then.

Anonymous · Answer

You should only have an abortion if it is what you want.

However you must consider all the elements of having a child. Some basic ones would be: are you okay with raising the child without a father? Are you financially stable to raise this kid without help from anyone else? How will it effect your career and are you okay with it? How about if your boyfriend never wants to meet this kid are you okay with him never knowing his dad? Are you okay with this kid having step siblings? Are you okay with the step dad not treating all the kids exactly the same.

Abortion is not a big deal! It is simply an option to consider and all you’d have to do at your pregnancy stage is take a pill. But you must also take his opinion and feelings into account as the child will be both of yours and while you don’t have to listen to him you would have to respect his decision of leaving as he had warned you prior.

Compassiondude101 · Answer

Have the baby, it’s not created as a result if incest or rape. Heck if you can’t even take care of it you can place it for adoption. Plenty of professional couples would love to take this child into their loving home. Your now ex boyfriend is a loser.

DizzyDesii · Answer

he's trash. I hope you leave him and keep the baby. 🙏

djmzes · Answer

Simple

aj976 · Answer

Secrow him thats a human soul you can't kill you baby if you were my girl i would put the fuc***g ring on your finger and make you the love of my life because your the mother of the most precious thing on my life my baby i even would never look back even for a second

BCA6010 · Answer

Wow if he's really forcing you to make that choice, he's a f*cking loser and not worth trying to win over. Even if you went his way, y'all will have a falling out later anyway.

FakeName123 · Answer

Your boyfriend is manipulative and your relationship is pretty much over. It's impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone like this. All you can do now is decide if you want to have the baby. Personally i am against abortions, but I can't force it upon you.

Anonymous · Answer

He isn’t going to change his mind. Either you have an abortion or you will be a single mother. Having a baby under such circumstances wouldn’t be fair to the child. Every child deserves to be born into a real family and to be wanted by both parents. Have an early abortion.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah it sounds like you are not ready for a child. Have you been taking prenatal vitamins for 2 months before pregnancy? Do you have money saved for how expensive they will be? You can always try for a child later when you have a supportive partner and took the correct vitamins

ohshee · Answer

We I can't tell you what to do if I was in your shoes. I would have said we are going to miss you but thats just me,,, this is you it is the biggest step in life your going to take. Ur either going to have lots of help and people backing your play or ur on your own for a little bit ur boyfriend just showed his true colors about a lot of things I say only you have the last word

TazWax · Answer

Honestly if you don't want you then you shouldn't there are other options. If you aren't ready to be a mom you can always give the baby up and if you wanna be a mom then do it just make sure you find an amazing support team and you will rock it with or without him. Either way I think you should break up with him he is a shitty person.

CrystalSnowflakes · Answer

Jump into motherhood.
That baby is yours and whether he wants to be it it's life is his decision, but whether he will be a good father will depend on his doing. I completely support you in not doing an abortion and keeping your joy.
Listen to your gut feeling, if someone has to convince you to say yes then is that really consent?

thegirlfromthething · Answer

If you can’t take care of a baby without him then you should get an abortion- he shouldn’t have to pay child support for a kid he didn’t want in the first place whether he stays with you or not. If you can afford to take care of a baby without him, alone or with the help of friends and family, then have the baby and raise it without him or his money. He’s not being very considerate towards you but you have to consider how having a baby affects him too.

its_amelia_c · Answer

Your body your choice! You need to think about what is right for you at this point in time and what you can physically, mentally and emotionally handle, be it that you may be a single mother. The choice needs to sit right for you and your baby and especially for your future. No one has the right to pressure you or steer you in any direction you don’t want to go.

You have to make the decision you can live with forever and the rest will fall into place

Anonymous · Answer

Any guy that would put you through this isn't worth your time. A real man wouldn't make you choose between him and your child. A real man would support you and your child, even if it wasn't his child. If he can't grow up and act like a man then you are better off with out him. Your child will be better off as well; luckily your child will have an excellent mother.

Paul09 · Answer

So he doesn't want kids, and you do? shouldn't that have been a question you asked early in the realationship? I'm not sure you can do anything to change his mind. But he also should take responsibility for his actions... Have a kid with someone who does

Iron_Man · Answer

No way you can’t do that it’s not right it’s a life you got to keep it

Makeushiver · Answer

Well he sounds like an asshole so perhaps yes to both might be good. Let me guess, you're pregnant because he wanted bareback & told you pulling out would be perfectly safe. Men can be pretty big assholes sometimes; they often have little interest in your satisfaction sexually, it's almost always women responsible for birth control, even condoms- it often seems to be the case that guys expect women to have them. Then at any sign of work or responsibility they are gone.

Seier · Answer

Do what you want. Being pressured into something is never a good sign of the company being kept and sounds like even if you do listen him the relationship is frayed like a rope. If you want to keep the child then do so, if he truly does love you he'll stay and help raise the child, if not you can always find better, child or no. If don't want the child then go ahead with the abortion but before you do, make sure it's because you want it not your boyfriend.

ChocoBrownieMonster · Answer

You are really quite selfish, if you can't respect a man's feelings, how can you be a fit mother. I think you have entrapped him, he didn't want to get you pregnant. I genuinely think there needs to be a law that abortion is required if partners dont agree. There are too many single mother problems resulting in mental health issues.

HalfACharlie123 · Answer

There's nothing you can do but make a choice. If he is not ready for a kid and is completely terrified of having one, you can't make him. But he can't make you abort it, it's your body. So it's up to you. What do you want more? Him to be happy with you, or a child.

swim15 · Answer

You're going to loose your boyfriend to divorce one day. I am sorry to be so blunt!

Follow your heart, if you decide that you don't want the child put him or her up for adoption. Otherwise, you'll lay in bed at night doubting that decision you made to abort for the rest of your life. Good luck with your decision.

cth96190 · Answer

Rather than not wanting to lose the boyfriend, you should kick that POS to the kerb.
He wants you to murder your baby.
How can that be someone with whom you want a future?
Dump him.
Keep your baby.
If you cannot raise the child for some reason, offer him/her for adoption.
Abortion should not be used as retrospective contraception.

madgoat · Answer

He clearly is not ready to be a father and does not want the child.
It would otherwise seem appropriate for you to have the baby and you've decided to anyway.
Don't expect support from him and your relationship, such that it is , may end.
You say you have a great and supportive family. You may need to put that to the test.

Juxtapose · Answer

Niiiice entrapment lol. Way to go! Way to force someone to be a father for the grave mistake of busting inside of you and trusting that you wouldn't entrap him! Us men have *NO* say on parenthood.. even if we are raped!

I would just move to a country where they wouldn't extradite me. Good luck getting child support out of me then you sick fuck!

dublin_sexyeyes0 · Answer

Its ok that you discussed it as a couple. However, even though he is fully entitled to his opinion and his views need to be considered, its your body and you have the final say. If you want to keep it and he doesn't then breaking up may be the only option. Carry on with what you want and who knows... ur boyfriend may find he is a natural dad once the baby arrives

youknowbetter · Answer

He doesn’t want the responsibility of being a man. He’s scared of having to pay child support and being a father. To a certain extent I know how he feels. But for real he is scared of responsibility.

While I do believe the man should get a vote on the choice to keep a baby (it’s even worse when he wants to keep it and she doesn’t) it is ultimately the woman’s choice.

jessicasissy · Answer

Screw him. Although I do firmly believe a man should have a say in abortion because they are partly responsible for making the baby I don't believe they should have the full say any more than I think a woman should have full say in abortion. If you want to have the baby, then have the baby. Find yourself a better boyfriend tho

gandolph3 · Answer

the real question is, do you want this loser in your baby's life, do you put his name on the birth certificate and expect child support or do you list no father and give him no claim. you said you had a good support system use it, take care

Eagle_93 · Answer

Sounds like he's a piece of scumbag. Any man that would make a woman choose him over her baby, isn't fit to be a husband or boyfriend. He did the act, he should take responsibility.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Do what you believe is right. He's pressuring you because he is trying to avoid the next 18 years of child support.

Unit1 · Answer

Choose wisely who you will remove from your life... Hint: You can remove both if you want to.

firaskr · Answer

I think you should look at your relationship and look if it is a healthy one first then think of the future and I believe you will see things more clear and you will make the right decision

DanaeAdam5 · Answer

Do what  YOU  want to do. It's your body and aborting a baby that you want is something that you will regret later.  Honestly break up with him. He sounds like a total asshole.

Vacaburra · Answer

Your body your choice. Not allow nobody tells you what to do with a really big matter motherhood is. Speak with person who really care and take care about you. He is giving awful arguments to manipulate you to abort... that's totally twisted and fucked up. Dump him.

Anonymous · Answer

You have a supportive family, you're against abortion but your boyfriend wants you to do it... If you're not gonna do it, you'll lose your boyfriend but your family will be there for you. If you'll do it, your boyfriend will stay but you might end up regretting your decision, considering that you're against it.
Think about what you want. Do you want to keep the baby? Are you ready to be a mother? If you are, then don't do what your boyfriend is saying. He kinda sound selfish but i think he's just not ready. But if he truly loves you & cares for you, he'll accept whatever decision you will make.
i hope this helps

darkcloud1945 · Answer

Get rid of that selfish son of a bitch. He should be there for you if you want the baby. Abortion is your call to make. Not wanting to start fights on the right or wrong of abortion but I think it is a life. Weather you do or do not have an abortion he will be long gone he will threaten to leave if you do not change your lipstick color to what he want s that will be his mantra for every change he wants to make do it or I leave

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

He is not good for you since he wants you to decide between staying with him and getting an abortion or giving birth. He is emotionally blackmailing you. He got you pregnant but doesn't want to take responsibility so is thatthe kind if person you want to be with?

xXMidknightXx · Answer

Truth is you both have to think about each other and yourselves. He should be more sympathetic (assuming you're not leaving anything out because nothing is ever black and white) but you do have to realize the decision impacts him just as much as it impacts you.

DennySug · Answer

You don't need him if he asking you to choose "between your child and him the choice is clear choose yourself and that beautiful baby growing inside of you. I did and i chose well he is now in his child's life

silvermoon84 · Answer

He’s trying to weasel out of paying child support for the next eighteen years. If you don’t believe in abortion don’t do it. Losing him might be a good thing since he’s emotionally manipulating you

Shutupman · Answer

If you want the baby keep it. It's your body and your choice! However don't expect any financial/emotional support from your boyfriend he doesn't want it and that's his right too. Good luck!

Guanfei · Answer

He doesn't want that baby. Fine, his choice.
But you have a choice to make here too. That's only up to you. You want that baby? Well, you can do it, knowing all the possible consequences of it.
I don't like how he's trying to make you feel guilty. If he doesn't want it, he can just say it and that's it, he'll do what he want with the choice you'll make. Because ultimately, it's your choice.

Mehzmeh · Answer

It is your body. No one can make you do anything. If you want to keep it. Keep it. If you want have an abortion then have one. There are plenty of people out there who are raising kids by themselves. You don't need him. Yoy can make him sign his rights away when the baby is born.

Good luck to you.

You got this.

madprofessor · Answer

You chose to get knocked up by a man child and you're not married, what do you think he would say? Why where you two not using birth control and why didn't you talk about having kids or what to do in this situation before it got to this point? in my opinion, neither of you are ready to have a child at this point.

Barbaric · Answer

Keep the baby, and if he leaves he leaves. It sounds like he's a child in a man's body. A liability.

My boyfriend is pressuring me to have an abortion? He said I have to choose the pregnancy or him? Please help? (Page 2)

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