I'm scared my boyfriend won't propose even though we discuss getting married pretty often. Why do I feel like this?

[Shuri]

I feel like this is a dumb question, but there's a part of me that feels my boyfriend will never propose to me, even though I have no reason to believe this. I've read in some articles that women can feel this way when they think it's too good to be true. I'm 30, and he's 34. We were just talking about the cake and DJ and looking at places for a reception this past Friday. He asked me to pick out a ring back in May, too.

Still can't shake this feeling that he's never going to propose, though. We'll have been together a year in September. I can't tell if it's me just being anxious or what. I could never picture myself married to anyone else I dated. Literally not a single guy until him. This is the first time I've been in a relationship and didn't think to myself "I'll enjoy it while it lasts". But now I'm scared I've gotten my hopes up for nothing even though I don't have a reason to think this.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? Like your relationship was too good to be true? Is this normal?

[Rob17792]

I proposed to the woman I love on valentines this past year and she didn't say yes she didn't say no instead she ignored it. then a few months later she gets engaged to another guy who she only known for 4 months while me and her had been together for 3 years. he was so cheap and broke he didn't even buy her an engagement ring she bought one for herself whereas I bought her a very expensive one not as expensive as the one she bought for herself but still a very nice ring and pricey too. so imagine having someone you love for 3 years ignoring the engagement question only to get engaged to some loser after 4 months and having to buy your own ring. That's fucked up

[Shuri]

Sorry that happened to you, but I'm not understanding the relation to my question.

[Twalli]

I do want to marry my girlfriend when we've been together longer. I think we will though, we've been together for over two years and haven't had a fight yet. Nevertheless the idea of proposing or getting married terrifies me.

[jennifer_bloom]

He might be pretending to propose to you to take your virginity - a lot of guys fake marital intent to get sex - tell him no sex until marriage and no prenuptial agreement either

[Shuri]

We've been together almost a year, and have had sex since like... the 4th date. Besides, I wasn't a virgin when I met him.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

But what a lot of girls also do is to get married to get the benefits in marriage and to complain later he's a "bad husband" so that is not a one-sided situation there.

[jennifer_bloom]

He might believe you will end the relationship if he does not convince you it will lead to a lasting union so could be telling you what you want to hear

[Aiko_E_Lara]

But why can't it be a lasting union without marriage? Why something that benefits women a lot that doesn't benefit men as much is a lasting union? You don't pay for the rock and for the marriage, we are expected to do it. Also not to mention about how we can lose one third of our money during divorce because of the unfair custody. Women can change after marriage. Unless if law and traditions change maybe men would be ok with marriage.

[HOAAH]

true love drives out fear, why do you fear that he won't propose? Has he given you reasons to think so?

[Shuri]

No. Not a single reason. We were just talking about how big our wedding would be and what I want for a wedding cake and who can DJ at the reception.

[HOAAH]

do you just have trust issues from your past?

[Whatever2929292]

I don't know what he is going to do. But if you really want to marry him then you need to be the one to ask. Then you will have your answer. Stop waiting on someone else to think they can read your mind and know what you want when you want it.

If you can't be the one to ask then who knows how long until he does or ever.

[SirBearon]

You're anxious about it. Calm down, relax and allow it to happen. If you put unnecessary pressure on a situation it will blow up. Breath, relax, everything will work out.

[Sylvanas_Windrunner]

Because your brain is wired to think of the worst possible outcome

[bklynbadboy1]

How long have you been with him

[Shuri]

11 months. We met in September of last year.

[Twalli]

11 months isn't very long. I've been dating my girlfriend for over two years and if I propose it'll still be a year off. My parents were together 7 years before getting married.

[COMMODOREII]

Insecurity? 😗