Lack of representation and education. I'm pansexual, and have barely dated let alone cheat. Think about if your straight, there are still millions of people of the opposite gender, but more choice doesn't mean it will change your morals and beliefs that cheating is wrong. Like if, for example, I'm eating vanilla ice cream but someone offers me chocolate, I would decline because I dont like chocolate. (Bi/pan people dont like everyone). Or maybe I'm eating vanilla ice cream and someone offers me strawberry. I like strawberry ice cream, but I already have vanilla. (If a bi/pan person is already dating someone, their not going to go date someone else, just because its available.
How does the pan thing work?
Is this something that has 'always been' or something that you have 'devoloped'? Seems open minded but do you fear you'll never be able to get/manage a family?
@sensible27 I think pansexuality came around because people were upset about the misconception that bisexuals only date cisgendered men and women, when bisexuals have a "2 or more gender identities" thing going on in reality. It's been around for a long time though, and it's absolutely a "all the genders" option that the bisexual label often lacks in.
No, I was asking her personally as in if she was always pan sexual or is/was it something that she 'got into' via virtuous or other (thought) means...
@sensible27 AH, sorry sorry! I'll get out of your hair lol
I started identifying as bisexual when I was 13, because i knew that i liked girls and guys. Later, I found out what pansexual meant (I didn't know before) and decided that fit me better. I dont care what someone's gender is as long as u have a connection with them. I have no fears of having a family, and I'm curious as to why you would think that. It's just like any other LGBTQ relationship or perhaps a straight relationship.
Well, the 'market' size is a bit reduced or maybe not. When I look at these sort of things I have an abstract scientifically based prespective and it's a bit hard to understand why an organism (even other animals) would evolve to be attracted to partners they can't reproduce with... Doesn't make sense technically...
*much sense...
@MostlyOwain sorry if it seemed... rude... Wasn't exactly intended... it was just that that's not the point I was referencing... : )
Biphobia.
It's not been helped by media portrayals, either. But a lot of people just make assumptions once they know someone's sexuality.
Someone's gay? "Oh that's a waste."
Someone's bi? "Oh, they're a slut."
It's biphobia. That's all. There's no reason or logic, just emotional fear.
I mean, even if it's just baseless fear, there's usually a really unfounded reason at least? And if the reason is unfounded I like to ask about it as often as possible in the hopes of debunking it and warming people up to us XD
@Sofie_8_6 Well, lemme tell you that you're by no means a "waste". You're valid, you're right to be who you are, and whoever holds you love will be one lucky person. It's only a waste that haters and naysayers reject your shine - they're missing out on a good soul.
@Smoke-n-Growls I came term put haters in their place.
@MostlyOwain I totally hear you. I know a few lesbians who refuse to date bi girls because the bi girl dated a man after the lesbian and it made them feel very hurt. I'm a bi woman whose first boyfriend discovered he was gay after we dated for a while - I found it relieving just to know he was finally living what he wanted.
That ought to have been my tip off (the massive relief-by-proxy) then that I was bi, but I didn't discover that for myself until I was 26.
@Sofie_8_6 Heck yes!
Men want what they can't have. Have you ever seen Cameron Esposito's comedy? She's a badass lesbian comic with some amazing comeback lines. I highly recommend her stuff.
So we're making up words now?
u I was married to a bisexual lady. When she wanted a man, I satisfied her and she never stayed. When she wanted another woman, there was absolutely nothing I could do to satisfy hey and she found what she wanted elsewhere.
Our divorce was final within 6 months. I will never again date a bisexual woman.
I can see if I was gay and my partner was bi I would be worried that the desire to have children would pull them to a straight relationship.
This is a reason I can absolutely understand, even if I personally don’t want kids. There are ways around it if it’s discussed, but your fear is very understandable and not at all based around media influence or just assuming bi people are completely lacking in loyalty. Thank you for your input!
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I would imagine it's because people prefer those that make one clear choice. The term itself sounds like someone's confused, like taking a two choice test and someone pencilled in a third choice. That and the world loves absolutes.
I'm bisexual, and I can say the media/ film industry definitely gives us a bad rap. Can we have a realistic depiction of what it's like to now be able to BE REJECTED by more people. Just because you are "elligible" to date more people, doesn't translate into your attractiveness going up. It means that you have more crushes on people who have little awareness of what your sexuality means. As a bi person, you probably have more standards. Your dating pool is limited to those who "get and accept you" which tbh kicks out the extremes of both gay and straight communities.
Bisexuality often correlates with open-mindedness. The same way one can be open-minded about a topic, does not mean they are unable to control their decisions and actions.
Because they swing either way and they will constantly surrounded by both genders which increases the chance of them looking at others
that would be the reason why I think some people say that however I personally disagree I think it's an individual thing I don't think it has anything to do with a person's sexual preference if the person's going to cheat the going to cheat if it's in their nature to cheat and they want to cheat it's going to happen
However if they have strong morals and they believe in exclusive relationships then they're most likely going to end one relationship before starting another
Genders and sexual preference has nothing to do with a person being a cheater
As a pansexual myself, I don't get it. Being attracted to more than one gender didn't make me more premiscous or flirtatious, it just made me more nervous around people I liked, because you never know what they think about the lgbtq+ community and that stresses me out.
ohmygod yes, that's exactly why I'm asking this. Every bi and pan person I know worries about people making assumptions based on their sexuality. Silver lining is if they don't want you because of lgbtq+ issues, they probably aren't someone to try a long term relationship with anyways? I'm sorry you're nervous, I hope you find a partner who's wonderful to you c:
Thank you, you too :)
Something about it just sets off my alarms. It’s like she likes guys and girls. Does she like girls more than guys or guys more than girls? She likes dick but she likes vagina too. One day she could get bored and decide she wants the peach and not the eggplant. There’s too much fickleness in a vital area of the relationship. I’d just rather date a girl who’s 100% into guys. For fun I could see myself fooling around with a bi girl but not for a serious relationship. It’s like dating someone who kind of likes kids when you want to be a parent. Will they decide that they don’t want kids down the line or that they do want to have kids, or will they have kids am realize they really don’t like kids? It’s too much.
I’d just rather commit to someone who’s decisive about their genital preference. It’s kind of important.
Meanwhile I'm used to hearing about bi girls complain about how the dudes they date always bring up having a threesome with another girl, when all she wants to do is commit to a single person XD
I believe it has to do with the fact that since bisexual people are attracted to their gender and the opposite gender people have the misconception that they will be more likely to cheat. I don't believe that sexual orientation has anything to do with who you are as a person and what your values are. If someone is going to cheat, they will chest. If someone is going to stay loyal, they will stay loyal. It's about who you are as a person, not with who you like to get down and dirty with. 😂
The ones i've known of both genders often strike me as the personality types (not as a rule) that "usually" seem like they have higher sex drives than average. And prone to anxiety/insecurity. Just observations from people i've ever met or known well, who were or later came out as bi.
One is not bi because one is satisfied with the opposite gender but because one wants to try out the own gender as well. And where there is temptation there is always a way.
It is just statistically commonsense that if you double the potential to cheat from currently 50% (opposite gender) to 100% (both genders).
It is only a matter of time and the attractiveness of the incentive until the cheating occurs. Guaranteed.
Guaranteed would imply that a bisexual person will never be able to have a happy long-term monogamous relationship in their entire lives. That's such a sad thought :c Do you really think no bisexual person has the self control to be loyal to someone they love?
I personally do not think that having control is possible.
The same rule as for addicts applies. Give an incentive that is enticing enough and even a cured addict will fall back into old habits.
If you have a 50% chance to win a prize of $5, you may not want to participate. However, if you know that you have 100% chance to win $100 million, people will do it. That is what I mean by having an incentive that is attractive enough.
See, she proved my point with this post right here.
@Quackthulu I have read your recent post where you state that you are basically at war with the world and that you will block anyone that does not share your opinion and that goes against your grain. Go ahead and block me.
I also read that you pretended that you were a former Uber moderator and blablabla.
So, you can take my opinion and shove it...
No, I just block people who say stupid shit... Speaking of which
Putting aside that I cannot agree to more options = more likely for all bi people to cheat, I think your math is extremely off. If I, a bisexual man, had a 50% chance of of being a cheater from having straight female options... why on earth would it go up by 50% from gay male options? there are significantly fewer gay men than there are straight women.
That said, if a woman who was my type came onto me, I would immediately think about how badly being cheated on by his last love destroyed my boyfriend and be utterly repulsed at the thought of doing the same. I would think of my father who, days after filing for a divorce, tried to break into our home to catch his now-ex wife with the man he knew she'd been sleeping with for months.
Why can't bisexual people want happiness and a life full of love for their beloved?
"No, I just block people who say stupid shit... Speaking of which" maybe what you consider irrational isn't actually so?
@SueShe you are assuming the inventive exists. You remind me of a physics joke but we'll leave that for later. Just because incentive is non zero doesn't mean incentives that counter it don't exist...
@sensible27 why can't I like a reply lol
Those statistics aren't quite as accurate as you'd think lmao. You can't just doubt a percentage without taking into consideration the decreased fraction/ratio used to come across such statistics. So if ur argument is that people are 50% likely to cheat in monogamous relationship. Consider the act that less people are in polygonomous relationships.
Bisexuality and monogamy just aren't compatible traits- if you are in a relationship with someone who is bi, then you have to assume that they would have cravings for same-sex relations at least sometimes, right? I'm bi, and I crave both - so can I just bottle up one side only and ignore it? Doesn't seem natural or realistic.
Because people are idiots. That isn't exactly groundbreaking news.
Bless your heart lol
The problem is not trusting the bisexual partner, it's that there's a bigger number of people you don't trust that could influence your partner.
I appreciate what you’re saying! It would be nice if we could trust people to resist any temptation out of love, but I understand that can be difficult, and sometimes betrayed 😅
Gee, I wonder. Maybe it's because many of them believe their stupid sexual orientation gives them a right to cheat? Maybe because by definition they will always be attracted to people other than their partners? Or perhaps it's the tendancy of many of them to begin normal relationships only to try and force their partners into an "open" relationship or "polyamorous" bullshit once they get their partner emotionally involved? Naah, probably none of that, everybody's just bi-phobic and these poor, poor bisexuals are innocent victims, right?
Putting a lot of words in the mouth of people like me, dude. And throwing "always be attracted to people other than their partners" doesn't work when so many straight people are too.
I have put nothing in your mouth, pervert. And the difference is straight people have the option of being attracted exclusively to their partner, whereas bisexuals by definition don't.
We don't think. It's something called numbers game. So for example if a gay friends with a male BI, of course her girlfriend will think he's trying to cheat on her with that gay unless if her boyfriend is straight being friends with a gay, it's unlikely for her boyfriend to cheat on her with a gay.
if mean if both partners are bi sexual or one is. but their in a secure relationship. then the worry about cheating is lower. also gives the option to add more people to the mix once in a while to spice things up.
Yes, because they have a shit ton of more options. Rather than one sex, everyone in the entire world is a contender to be a person your partner will possibly cheat with.
"A shit ton more options" Like the number of gay folks who will accept a bi person is anywhere near the number of straight folks who won't date us cause they think we're going to cheat or wanna go poly lmao
Statistically maybe? I don't know. but I wouldn't be (perticularly () surprised if some do take advantage of the 'increased options'.
Oh, yeah, there are absolutely bi people who cheat and take advantage of options, but there's also bi people who are vehemently against being the person everyone else thinks they will. I can't ever find anything about statistically, but you're either loyal or you aren't, so I don't really know if it's different between bi and straight people.
I’ve known women who have been very open about being bisexual, and they have been cheaters. People who are private about it may not be cheaters, but the ones who gotta tell everyone that they’re bisexual sure are.
More people to tempt them.
... Plus, they tend to be more promiscuous in my opinion
Really? Most of the bisexuals I know are always waiting for the right person to make the butterflies in their chest go off, and then they're too scared to do anything about it because "What if he doesn't like that I'm bi :C" which is why I'm even asking the question lol
... well, except my coworker, who takes opportunity with two hands and jumps right in XD But she also holds onto her fiance with two hands and wouldn't dare be the one to fuck things up.
Cause they have more options lol. The temptation is double for them.
I dunno if I'd say temptation is double when there's not actually that many gay folks compared to straight ones lol and the number of straight people who won't date you because you're bi...
Why wouldn't straight people date you cause you're bi? There are many gays in my area Lol! I'm having trouble finding straight people lol
Wow really? That's quite a surprise lol I only find gay people in my area when I go to Pride! ... or Vancoufur XD
Just look at the comments here. There'a a lot of positivity, but there's also people saying they don't trust bi people as partners and they wouldn't try a relationship with a bisexual person. This isn't representative of all people, but I've had it in real life too. The 'why' is why I'm asking this, cause the belief that a bi person will always cheat is it and I don't get it?
I'm bi but 100% monogamous. If I'm in a relationship with someone, I'm not going to go behind their backs with anyone, woman or man.
I salute you, fellow monogamous bisexual o7, can't imagine doing that to someone
Because Bisexuals are gay, so if they cheat with a dude, they are gonna give some poor girl an STD
A lot more risk involved in the cheating
They seem to get bored at one gender so they wanna switch quite often.
Huh, I've never met a bi person who got bored of a gender unless they've had success with one, and overwhelming failure with the other.
Well they wouldn't be bi, if they were serious about being straight.
that's... that's not how sexuality works XD If people could stop being attracted to an entire gender or turn it on and off, I personally know a lot of straight women who would like girls because straight men hurt them so consistently.
Well I don't know if they are more likely but it does me they have more opportunity
Probably cause their more opportunities or more of the option.
because they have more options and are more open about their sexuality. So we may think they want to explore more
Double threat!
They have double the options to choose from.
I don't think so.
I think its cause they are more sexually liberal
Someone once said something along the lines of "if someone can't even commit sexually to one gender, how can you expect the person to commit to just you alone?"
Numbers game. More potential options to do so.
too many options hahha
I don't think that's true at all
Because they go both ways
because statistically they are?
cause they have more options?
They do cheat. Been there.
We have more options
cause thy are
But why do people think that? I sure as hell never would, so I really don't understand what's so great about sex with a third party when you have someone you love waiting at home for you.
Double the odds
Because they are
But what makes you think so? What evidence is there? I hear people say it all the time, but I don't hear about it actually happening all that often.
All three of my exes are bi. All three cheated on me
And my straight mother cheated on 2 of her husbands, and the first of those cheated on two of his girlfriends, and my boyfriend's last girlfriend tried to bring another guy into their relationship without discussing it... straight people be fucked up too.
I'm sorry that happened to you though. I hope whoever you find realizes how much it can hurt a person and doesn't make it four.
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