Do you believe modern love is boring?

[kitty71]

I watch this video from a blooger and he is a man. He said this:

"" Todays love is so boring. Everyone trying to feel less as much as possible so the other person won't be scared. " I Love you" but I won't tell you or express it, "I miss you but I won't speak to you", I want to see you but I won't move" .
Showing interest in the other person nowadays seems like some kind of embarrasment action or behavior" unquoted.

Whatever happened wtih a man being chivalrous and woo a woman like in other times? Do women now do not like that anymore?

Who do you think is at fault of this in this time? Just to name a few

-Social media
-Less committment
- Hectic lives
- Easy to express feelings it over internet
-Women being independent
-Feminism (cause they dont need a man in their lives to survive or being cared they are on their own)
-Infidelity
-Internet
-People behavior had changed over times
-Men and woman now just want hook ups and not committment

Any thoughts on the issue?

Agree

Disagree

[2ndTryatThis]

This has a lot to do with the hyper-critical nature of all society in the last 15 years.. people used to focus on the good in their lives to drive them through the misery of national crisis.. but now the narcissistic nature of the millennial generation has turned on itself.. instead of us focusing on the good everyday, look at the internet.. read the news, see your friends posts.. whenever the content is not self reflective; it’s criticism of someone else.

The more “evolved” society becomes, the more “woke” people try to prove themselves to be at the expense of everyone around them in this desperate clawing for the approval of others. Narcissism is the new God of our generation. Therefor selfless love; true love, is dying. Epic love is to love selflessly, like oh, say.. how Jesus loves all of mankind enough to die for them and let them hurt him even as he bled out.. but, that kind of teaching isn’t popular anymore.. now there is no absolute truth taught to children and therefore no absolute affirmation that tells us we are loved and worthy of love. So the lost seek love without ever knowing it fully, and therefor, fear leads our actions instead of faith.

[Daniel3035]

I've said this myself psychotic narcissism has been coming slowly especially among women who are growing up today in equality and just going down the path of the wolf of the wall street use and abuse everything especially abusing guys by ghosting or flaking some even go as far as child support all about money or self-gratification not love.

[Anonymous]

"Men and woman now just want hook ups and not commitment".

Well, that has always been the case with men, but only in recent years has it become the case with women as well. Women were always the gatekeepers to sex. Men are genetically programmed to seek out sex and plant their seed, and historically women (wisely) did not give them sex until they earned it by showing their commitment.

But today, women are no longer the gatekeepers they used to be. Casual sex has become the norm, and the expectation. Add to that the fact that commitment has become far more costly and risky for men, and with less return on our investment and risk.

To sum things up, women have made sex too cheap and commitment too costly. It doesn't take a genius to predict that what will happen in that scenario is exactly what we have today.

I don't want to put all the blame on women here, but I will say that it is not men who changed the rules. The game is no different than it ever was, but women changed the rules and expected a different outcome than what they got. And now they are stuck with the new playbook.

[brennanhuff]

If guys wanted relationships more like in the past, then this wouldn’t be an issue. My grandfathers time, men courted women and it wasn’t just because women demanded it, but men were more interested in serious relationships and marriage instead of random sex

[Opinion Owner]

@brennanhuff That's true, but relationships and marriage were more beneficial to men, and less costly and risky for them back then than they are now. Essentially, women have made sex too cheap and marriage to costly for men. The outcome of that shouldn't come as surprise to anyone.

[brennanhuff]

Still, if men wanted to fuck around a lot then they still would have. Would have been longer waits for men to have that sex but still. Many guys wanted romance instead. Yes there were Guys who wanted to sleep around and did but that was not as common. Sure you had the frank sinatras but otherwise it was more about love. I don’t believe men now choose hook ups over relationships because relationships are most costly. There are plenty of good women around. It’s just that it’s more socially acceptable for men to have casual sexual. It was t just women but back in my grandfathers time, it was really all socially acceptable for even men to be promiscuous or too promiscuous. It was about being a gentleman, which man whores would not be seen that way so much

[kaylaS91]

Regarding chivalry, I see more and more of both genders stepping up to the plate to be 'chivalrous'. Or, as I see it, display basic decency and show they have manners.

Female's being increasingly independent isn't to blame for anything. Hell, it's merely a natural result from women being given the same rights as men, rather than being seen as inferior beings culturally, as well as in the eyes of the law.

I wouldn't say one cna say that there's any more infidelity nowadays than there was in the past. There are plenty of platforms on which cheating/cheaters can be broadcast (i. e. FB, instagram, texting, etc.), whereas word travelled far slower before through word of mouth. Plus, the only cheating that people really cared about before was that done by the elite class, and the fact that people with money and leverage can get away with a lot more scot-free.

[startingfitness]

women being independent is a problem because women were given rights ( as you pointed out) without the responsibilities. This has been the case since the early days of women's rights movements where women wanted their rights but didn't want to deal with the responsibilities or consequences. It easy to see why this created a generation of spoiled, bratty women.

even with women's suffrage it was the same. Voting rights where initially tied to holding property. Later on , all men were given the right to vote and at this point, the right to vote was tied with the draft. The age when a man registered for the draft was the age where he also had the right to vote. However, when women finally got the right to vote, they managed to do so without having to sign for the draft. which makes no sense. There are many parallels with this case throughout the women's rights and feminist movements where women want the rights or "equality" without doing their part. so its not a right but actually a privilege.

And it definitely had an impact on how women view men. Men are not given the respect that we deserve. And it makes sense, since everything we can do, a woman can do also or have someone else do it for her. I have seen so many women not giving respect or even holding contempt for men who are construction workers, electricians, plumbers etc. even though those people are the ones who allow everyone else to live the lives we are accustomed to.

[kaylaS91]

Legally, women were given rights in some parts of the world, not all. Even in places where women have legal rights, globalization has led to women continuing to live and raise children with the belief that a woman’s main responsibility is feeding her husband and tending the house. As the line between legal rights and cultural norms is quite blurred, with the latter often reigning as stronger.

Then there’s the gender wage gap across the globe, marital abuse/rape, etc.. That’s just the tip of the iceberg if you’re interested in rethinking your statement on the ‘generation of spoiled brats’. Though you seem to be mixing up women’s rights with how much women ‘respect’ men so..
🤷🏻‍♀️

[startingfitness]

Women have the same rights as men in the western world. And with the voting situation that was an example and i believe it applies to the usa and the uk, but it can definitely be the same for most countries.
The point that i am making is that rights aren't simply given, they have a reason as to why they are given. When all men were given the right to vote, the idea was that since all men can be drafted for a war be the government ( by the leader making that decision) , all men should have a say in who will be that elected leader. And it is a strong argument. But women then argued for the same right, with the reason being that men had the right too. That's not good enough. Just because men have a right doesn't mean that women deserve the same right without fulfilling the responsibility.

as for women still being traditional housewives, that has decreased a lot in the western world. If a woman still decides to be a housewife when she has the option to , that's on her. No need to blame culture, just take some responsibility. Most of those women probably prefer being housewives if they are still doing that.

and i'm not mixing up responsibilities and women's respect for men, im showing the correlation. women not having responsibilities and not being held responsible is a big reason as to why modern women dont respect men.

[modelUN242]

What rights? Women given more rights have lead to them developing a bitchy attitude about everything. Men gave women "rights". Women didn't do this themselves. Maybe giving women the right to vote was a mistake. Anyway, feminism is just an economic strategy to get women to work so that companies get more money out of it, nothing to do for the good of women.

[BlueScorpio]

Is love boring? No. But do people seem to get bored of love or relationships quickly these days? Yes. And I actually agree with that quote, it's because now a days people are so scared of coming off "too strong" and "too fast" when it comes to telling someone about their feeling. They would rather bottle them in just to not have the potential risk of that person running away. Yes it has to do with being scared of rejection, but it's mostly because there are just so many people who are fickle with love and relationships. It's almost like walking on eggshells with certain people in the dating world, and this is because a lot of people know their not ready or serious for a relationship yet still want to go out there and yank people around for the hell of it. This is why people who aren't ready for relationships, just need to stay single.

[Kiffin11]

I think it's ignorant to place the blame only on females or males individually for being the target of these issues, as they are multifaceted and due to many different factors. One being the evolvement of gender roles and expectations of behaviour after the modernist movement. Due to social progressions women were given equal rights to males and were given the opportunity for independence which in turn caused a disturbance in the equilibrium of traditional roles of women and men, both individually and together. This change in values meant traditional perspectives began to change and gradually it was not instilled in men so rigoriously to show traditional 'chivalrous' behaviour and pursue a woman as priorities began to change, women began to want to pursue men in unconventional ways, and both genders grew more easily dissatisfied, unwilling to put the necessary effort in to make ends meet the prospect of marriage it's underlying meaning because to cease to be of importance. In contemporary and often cynical society, there is an emphasis on convenience, everything including technological advances at our very finger tips. A lack effort and dissatisfaction being a byproduct of these advancements, causing individuals to struggle to find identity with themselves and each other, in turn destroying intrinsic meaning and connection in their lives. With technological communication at our finger tips we are exposed broader and more accessible range of spouses, making it more difficult to find purposeful and meaningful relationships as there is always a 'better and easier option'. This lack of continuous effort and interest has promoted a fear of commitment in fear of dissatisfaction or disloyalty that has made sex easier to obtain and long-term commitment difficult to maintain. Further this has impacted relationships because without effort, there is no growth and without growth and working continuously at a relationship it can no longer progress as needs of each individual can no longer be met. It doesn't help that social media stereotypes and depicts an unrealistic portrayal of the reality of relationships, showing only the gains rather than the struggles behind closed doors and what it has taken them to reach them gains. This is what causes boredom and a lack of interest, which often fuels the illusion of 'it being greener on the otherside' which is often not the case. This inevitably leads to unfulfilling and or short term relationships.

[Kiffin11]

This additionally made then prospect of marriage and it's underlying meaning cease to be of such importance.**

[Kiffin11]

within*

[Celtero]

Sure, there's a reason why I don't bother with it. Let's look at a definition of "romantic."

"of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality."

And the thing is, most of what relationships are do not fit this description. As a man, you have to play pain in the ass games to even get a date, you're lucky if you even receive sex in return for your troubles, and there's a chance in all relationships that

A: They turn out to be crazy or not what they appeared to be.
B: They cheat.
C; They turn into someone else
D: You get bored of them.
E: They weren't great people to being with and you just dealt with it so you wouldn't have to be alone.

[Unit1]

Modern love where?

Anyway I love the career women, who don't want our money. I would hate it for women to be dependent on us.
However women's job is being respectable (thus giving us something to respect her for) if they want to be treated like a queen.

The instagram girls and tramps, who dress like hobos or have no ambitions in life or have a personality, that is uglier than their looks won't have any of my time.

[8lutty]

well 25 yo , did u success in ur life? i hope u dont have to depend on ur boss eh?

[Unit1]

@8lutty I'm getting there.
We all depend on at least somebody for financial gain. Even landlords depend on their tenants for income.

[sawno]

What? No!
The internet personally helps me meet likeminded girls and the girl i like knows i like her. I tell her i love her whenever i feel it, the same with missing her and we both put a lot of genuine feeling into it.

So i don't agree with the guy at all in terms of the experience itself. What HAS been ruined is dating and flirting. High risk little reward so i simply don't flirt especially not by touching girls i'd like at the office for example.

[SphynxUK]

Less people want to get married, and more people leave a marriage without trying to repair any damage. I’ve seen an increase in that.
Otherwise, everything is pretty much the same. We play the field until we meet someone special, or when we decide we want to settle down. It’s later in life than it was, but that’s not an issue. People like to travel and such like, and have children later after a career when they have the means and time to dedicate to such things.

[brennanhuff]

I don't know I feel dating is damn boring. Hook ups if in a fun party element and right social adventure can be a fun novelty so that relationships down the road aren’t as boring. Sometimes sowing ones oats is essential to want a relationship and one on one dating and to not see it as boring.

[Ellie-V]

I honestly believe that this a caricatured idea of what it’s like to be a young person these days. I mean there is some truth to it, but underneath that surface level of understanding there’s just so many exaggerations and misconceptions. Being that I primarily work with People around my age and younger, I can say that this behavior is not nearly as common and dramatic as others may think.

[Kurαȷ]

In all honesty, I don't.
I want an independent woman who doesn't need me.

Love should be mutual, it shouldn't be about signatures on a piece of paper or about one gender "wooing" the other.

Modern love is way more genuine than the traditional crap.

[t-8900]

Do I think modern love is "boring"? No, but it's unstable and fleeting and that's why I haven't committed. I think men should only be chivalrous if the woman deserves it, not because she's a woman. The reason chivalry is dead is 100% the fault of feminism. It's affected men's lives terribly and it's been bad for women too, go look at the divorce rates and rates of depression for women and the suicides for men.

[jshm2]

WTF is that crackhead smoking?

He's probably been reading Twilight novels or something.

He clearly doesn't know incel and rape culture are at near epidemic levels. There are people who thinking they are entitled to love and be loved. Damn simps.

[JosyJosy]

I disagree, people still say the words, express, say they miss the other, all that.

But I feel like dating apps and stuff teach people to choose based on looks and a few words, potentially neglecting that golden guy and choosing the trashy one instead without knowing

[btbc92]

This isn't even love to begin with! People are just lying to each other. More like "love" out of convenience.

[AliceTheNguyener]

I would go as far as saying what you described does not sound like love at all. The biggest problem is people do not have trust for each other to open up. If I am opening up to you with all my heart, then I want you to open up to me too.

[OpenWine]

I think it's a women thing in general. there may be exceptions but it's always been a woman complaining about being woo'd on or that a man doesn't have to open the door for her. it's usually the men who approach a woman so I think it's a womans job to decide on which approach is wrong and which is right. afterall a very complex topic and too many words may contradict the story and too few may draw wrong conclusions

[YHL6965]

Well, at some point, you can just put the responsibility on "modern love", it's the people involved in the relationship who make it boring. There are so many things to do to make a relationship not boring so it's best to act to not make your relationship boring.

[cyfah]

Modern love is so fucked up.. chivalry is dead.. there are girls who still wants men like that.. there is a fine line between a gentleman and a misogynist..
And there is a difference between feminism and pseudo feminism..
Showing affection, expressing one's feelings is termed as weakness even though this is something which takes a lot of courage.. running away from situations & being mean to people is termed as strength, what a world we live in!!

[Phoenix98]

Messed up is the word I’d use not boring but other then that the quote in your question nailed.

snd that’s one of the reasons I don’t go about that kind of stuff in a modern way. I’m very old fashioned in my methods.

[Don-_-Don]

Many people of this modern age don't even know what love is, love is not boring by any means.

[93_n_on]

Agreed. I wouldn't call it boring though but I'm not with all the fu*kery. Not being about that may get you called boring though 🤦‍♂️

[prakhindev92]

My question is why everybody thinks love is boring and random hook ups are good? , Just make love with a random guy or girl , for having fun or some pleasure?