A lot of people are too fixated in desiring a relationship and when rushed, will ultimately lead into an unhappy relationship when you find out what's below the tip of the iceberg (metaphorically speaking).
People are complicating; good things come to those who are patient and have a clear vision of what they are looking for in a relationship. That's why I can't hesitate enough about spending a great amount of quality time with the person you love, to truly see if you can imagine being with them for the rest of your life, regardless of their insecurities, imperfections and selfish desires. Relationships aren't picture perfect; they are messy, yet beautiful simultaneously and the sooner people realize this, the better off they will be in the relationship they are pursuing or are already in. The main focus here should be to seek happiness in not only your partner, but yourself too.
The lack of quality time to understand your partner and the absence of happiness are all contributing factors to why so many relationships fall apart, usually within a year or two. Social media, movies and books make relationships seem like all your problems will fade away when you're in one and you'll forever grace the happiness that comes with one. While in theory this is true to an extent, it is only so when both partners are compatible to each other's wants and needs. This includes having similar life goals, interests/hobbies, beliefs, sexual compatibility, and of the such. People usually don't have patience and will let their emotions/feelings take over on what's really important here, which in return, will cause you to create an unstable foundation for the relationship when logic isn't considered.
I understand that loneliness and lack of affection/intinacy is an issue for a lot of people, but take the time to build up that relationship. Start small with simple hang-outs and learn about each other as you both go. You and your partner will soon enough see the true colors in each other and find out whether you two are "The One" for one another or not. There's no need to settle for less; aim for what you're looking for and you'll never be disappointed even if the relationship may not work out. If you have flaws, work on them. If your partner has flaws, help them out in any way you can. It's a two-way street; communicate, be open-minded and stay true to honesty/trust and everything will be all good!
Sorry if this was a lot to read! After being in a relationship for 10 years and having been with that same person as a close friend for 9 years prior to that, it taught me that the best relationships comes from those who became friends first, then established into a flourished relationship afterwards! This doesn't necessarily apply to everyone but for the majority, I do believe quality time is the best nourishment for a healthy, long term relationship.
This is so true! You explained it very well!
@aWes0MeNeSs I'm happy you found my comment informative :) I'm just hoping people will learn to take their time and not rush relationships so quickly as much as people want to be in a happy one.
Yes, me too!
I think there can be many reasons for this.
One thing I see a lot is that people who are generally unhappy in life enter relationships expecting them to make them happy, when that is not the way it works. Yes, they should bring you additional happiness, but never be the sole provider. That's an awful lot to put on another person and the relationship usually crumbles apart pretty fast once the first inevitable rocky phase happens. It also really is true that if you can't be happy with yourself, no one else will ever be able to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. I know it sounds cliche, but it really is true.
Another thing is that there are a lot of very self absorbed people in the world, who don't understand that relationships involve compromise, which in turn involves sacrifice. I've actually argued with people on this site about this, who really thought that one-sided relationships were normal and could work (though if both people are one-sided and unwilling to budge, how does that work? Not to mention that the people who want everything their way sure expect the other person to compromise for them). There are a surprising amount of people who want everything their way and have no regard for the feelings, wants, or needs of the other person, and have no desire to. In fact, I've met a lot of people who were shocked that they couldn't find a steady relationship, yet were extremely self absorbed and only cared about what they wanted, and expected a partner to just deal with it and cater to them. Of course, this ends with at least one person being miserable, and usually results in the end of the relationship.
I think there are also a lot of people trying to fit a round peg into a square hole by trying to make a relationship work with someone they're just not really into or happy with (I unfortunately did this with one of my relationships years ago and it was a huge mistake), and of course, if there's nothing there, it's most likely not going to work. I think some people are so afraid of being alone that they take the first opportunity for a relationship that comes along without taking some time to make sure it's someone they'd like to begin a serious relationship with, or they feel pressured somehow, or feel guilty about turning someone down and decide they can make it work (what I tried to do, but unfortunately was just a waste of both of our time and probably hurt him more in the long run; I thought the feelings would eventually develop, but they never did).
I also think a lot of people tend to get too carried away and rush things instead of letting them happen naturally, and have too high of expectations and get let down easily.
To be honest, I think some people also have an unrealistic fairytale idea of what a relationship should be like, and don't realize that there are going to be some rough times in every long term relationship. Some also I think want that honeymoon phase "high" to last and get bored when it eventually wears off.
I also wanted to add that I think in a lot of modern relationships especially with young people, social media can have an effect. Social media has a way of bringing drama into a person's life (and relationship) if they let it, and can turn a relationship sour really fast, especially if one or both people overshare or air their dirty laundry online for everyone to see. Personally, this is why I pretty much stick to cute animal pictures on mine, lol.
thats simple, beacuse the whole world is sjw nazis, left wing scum begs, and courts and laws bieased to wemon instead of being nutral,
and a big push for striping men down and treating them like shit, is what the naritive is, and omfg,
the bigest problem is , that they fucking kids, that do know what it is to be in a relation ship,
fuck im a virgin never had a girlfirend or a relation ship. but i am much smarter then a person that is in one, why beacuse i havee god dam common sense. truth, honestly and trust
and most of all keep your legs open if you want to keep your man
also a man that is genitally mutilated aka forskin cut off, is horrbile for sex. germany erup only 10 % are mgm but thats beacuse of the jews. screw religion.
https://www.facebook.com/BrotherKBloodstainedMen/
i got a little testy. thier. but regardless, people think being in a reation ship is all fun and games, and not takeing it seriusly
if i have a wife, i expect her to grab my cock in the kitchen, and or my ass, or w/e or if go out somewhere, and randomly she start to give me a blow job,
i expect those things
and she should expect that i will do the same shit.
why beacuse, we are a couple, its what couples do
not fucking say you raped, or you abused, me, or fucking shit like that, beacuse that just make you a fucking gold digging bitch,
when your in a relation ship both parters, expect sexual stuff all the time, any time anywhere, its to be expected, and to help eachother out with out the need to be thanked , its to be expected
but no fucking whore ass cunts, go around, even on this sit, and bitch about their man being sexual in a relation ship. like fuck off you fucking bitch
if i was a woman, witch i wish i was for many fucking reasons
i would not mind if i was in bed and he wanted to fuck my pussy. i won't move or anything i want to sleep but i will still let him do it lols, just dont knock me up would be the one thing.
fingering, sure dont care. if we where watching movie, give um a bj, have showers to gether all the time , not alone, never alone,
but no wemon dont do such she, it seems, what hear all the time, if was a woman, dam man, i make yoou all lll look like trash lols
if you want to keep a man keep your legs open.
Wow! You’re really stupid.
Opinion
42Opinion
a lot of them are searching for a partner to find happiness and that isn't what a partner is for. In a realtionship you're suppose to be with them cause of love not just to make yourself happy. Obviously realtionships can make us happy but that is not why you should be with them. And also these people think their partner is the problem but the problem is really just within themselves. So they gotta fix themselves before hoping into a realtionship selfishly trying to find some happiness.
Lack of communication probably
Well let’s start with statistics. Divorce is at an all time low but only because marriage rates are lower than the Great Depression... the rate of divorce is around 50% though as of I believe the last 5 years.
People get into relationships for the butterflies and then leave because the butterflies leave... marrying or dating for loves a mistake. Love is just liking someone to the point you can tolerate their bullshit. People need to look at marriage as a form of paid service. You put in effort and in return you get somebody else’s effort in support, companionship, sex, children, etc...
Also the creation of birth control was a huge kick in the balls for all of humanity. Men were bad enough but now women have sexual freedom to be promiscuous. This has caused a tremendous drop in the quality of marriage and the importance of limiting sex partners. By time your in a good relationship you already have enough to deal with but add in that women can’t bond anymore and men can find sex anywhere and cheat easier...
We should immediately outlaw sex outside marriage. Authoritarian sure but it immediately fixes this part of society. Abortion and single parenthood can be cut way down like this...
I suspect Americans are too much of pussies to do shoot about it.
And yet you do nothing when your morals are tested
Example... China taking Hong Kong... children being doxed for political reasons. Allowing Michigan Governor free reign without contesting. Allowing the media to throw around conspiracy theories and false allegations. Allowing this farce of an election to go on peacefully.
When the countries burning I’ll be in my comfortable little hut in the mountains of Montana with my guns my flag and my memories of when this country wasn’t filled with cowards.
Definitely agree about the butterflies part!
Your bullshits not happening here in Texas... I’m not going across the country to end a riot alone that’s for Portland... that’s for trump to mobilize the national guard and start firing into the crowd. When it happens I speak out. I’ve sent letter to our governor. Abbots done an amazing job already. Texas don’t have a vote check or ide confirm who I voted for.
Also when I point a finger it’s gonna be in your fucking face. I’m not bashful.
Back to OP. You gotta put forth the effort to keep a relationship real. These days we expect so much more than what you get. A normal relationships just you and one other person living in the same house dealing with each other personality and problems... sleep in the same bed say hi hunny when you get home make dinner for 2 instead of going out or for one... sex with the same person.. just so simple you can do this with a COMPLETE stranger. How is it people that trust each other can’t manage?
If you have a God-sized hole in your existence , no mere human being can make you whole. They will all disappoint , and you know this. So insecurity is consuming you.
Do you pursue someone because you believe in them, and their life causes? Or do you only wish for a man to believe in you and make you whole? What do you believe in , in return?
Until you sort out your existential dilemma here, you aren't ready for a relationship.
What type of man attracts you? This could be your problem. I am attracted to the Lois Lane archetype. And unless you're Superman , that type of woman brings nothing but misery. She is a champion of many causes, but can't stay out of trouble, ever.
I also get attracted to the Rose from Titanic archetype. But far from the quasi-happy ending she gets in the movie, those types in real life tend to be very self-destructive.
Turns out, in real life , the Princess Peach is also a bad archetype. Perpetual damsel in distress, no matter what skin or face she's assigned. Unless you're Mario, you won't save her in time.
Another archetype that is horrible in real life : the Walk to Remember Mandy Moore. Don't trust the movie: she will die long before you make it to the altar!
It can be a very long road, to learn how to choose a partner wisely, and avoid falling for destructive archetypes.
But it isn't just the personalities that attract me that are so problematic. My own archetype works against me. I have taken some online quizzes, and they all compare me to Spider-Man. But a man who has almost no power at all, yet still feels an enormous amount of responsibility for others, can be borderline suicidal.
The main reason relationships are so unhappy is the fact that most people are too self-focused to be healthy partners. Rather than considering how their words/actions might impact their partner, they feel entitled to just say or do whatever they feel like saying or doing. People focus on what they're entitled to receive rather than how they can add to the moment for their partner.
Maybe it would help if you opened up deeper communication earlier in the exploration and discovery stage. Find out whether both of you are on the same path or not. Don't waste your time going down a path that isn't likely to take you to your destination. At your age, most of your peers are just focusing on having a good time, not thinking about their future. It's always helpful to have a good idea from the start what you can expect.
We're lousy mind-readers, so share your expectations rather than assume the guy will already know. I've always found it odd to hear women say, "You've been with other women, so you know what they want. Just do it." What works for one may be repulsive to another. Let's not lump everyone together, and, instead, let's take time to learn and educate. We may not end up with as many opportunities, but the opportunities we're left with will be more likely to be compatible and satisfying.
We are humans, We make a mistake, and the most crucial idea of error is that you never know If it was coming, you never know that it was a mistake while doing it. I made a mistake, e too, trying to make someone feel better; I annoyed her and Heard the most hurtful words she will never talk again; she thinks I harassed her by complimenting her on making her feel better. She doesn't think forgiving is not a good idea. I did say sorry a thousand times. But I will not accept that she doesn't want me as she is furious now and If she stands her decision of not talking to me after may be one of few days. I will not have any other way other than to accept what she wants.
Answer- People are unhappy because they don't want to forgive anyone. They are unhappy because they like or love someone and hurt them unintentionally and more importantly they don't want to ask forgiveness and if one if us ask and feel the guilt and have the crying inside feeling. The other partner or friend doesn't want to forgive !
I am glad, learning asking for forgiveness is something what learned, it's the final tool to save a relationship. If You are not forgiven. Only miracles can save your relation,
Oh God! It was hurting while replying to the question.
Because people are too desperate to be in one, and they don't spend enough effort on actually choosing the right person to be with.
Or they believe this nonsense that relationships have to suck and be "hard" and "a lot of effort" and "compromises" and that being unhappy at times and dealing with your partner being insensitive or disrespectful from time to time is part of every relationship so they settle for people who aren't good for them.
Which is bullshit.
Relationships should be about your happiness, nobody will give anyone a badge because they spent 30+ years in a fucky relationship.
Yeah that's true. I feel like people in n truly happy relationships are shamed by the collective of people.
That's because people know they are crappy, they know that they are less than intellectually, morally and physically adequate, but instead of working on themselves- which is the hard way, they try to normalize crappy relationships with crappy people so they don't have to work on themselves.
The existence of happy and functional relationships between well-adjusted adults threatens their ego, because they know that's something they won't be able to offer.
I agree, though compromise is necessary. BUT, compromise involves both people, not just one (some people seem to think they can have everything their way and the other person has to sacrifice for it, which isn't true). But, compromise doesn't necessarily have to be super hard or make anyone unhappy, either. I think if a relationship is a healthy and happy one, most times the partners are more than willing to compromise on certain things.
Simple: no friendship and childhood innocence anymore. People are not taking it seriously anymore. It's on a higher level of superficiality. So now people are basically not even Humanity anymore he. But this is what people want, so this is what's happening. they don't want to listen because to because they think they know so much.
Because you're expecting too much. When you expect too much you only get unhappiness. So instead of expecting too much just go with the flow. Also, every relationship needs some patience, sacrifice, understanding and communication.
I always had low expectations. In fact my standards are so low that I had people telling me I could do better. ( Shallow I know) like i don't know what I'm doing wrong. I had friends who were the definition of a shallow, selfish, high class gold digger but she was really pretty so she had more options. Like God, if I looked like any of these instagram models I'd probably marry a rich dude and be stay at home wife. No joke. It's not fair being physically unattractive... It's not fair that I basically will have to settle for a broke guy who cheats on me constantly. Really not fair but whatever.
I'm not sure why there's so much unhappiness within relationships. I'm recently broken up with my girl of nearly a year and I'm still trying to understand what went wrong or possibly was never right. She was angry all the time and when she finally said that she didn't want the relationship as it was, I got the its not you its me bulshit. I was always trying to get her to talk to me but she felt burdened from being asked for communication. I thought it was the stereotypical thing that men are the non-communiative ones in relationships. But I digress, it's my honest belief that people really need to learn how to be completely comfortable in expression of truth and the listener should be ready to accept the speakers point of view without taking it personally. What you feel cannot be wrong if you're truly feel as expressed.
I think that a lot of people are unhappy due to unconcious ideals that are not met. There is a lot of compromises in a relationship. It can be really hard to be perfectly honest and admit when your wrong. I believe it is mostly the expectation that it is all easy and lovely.
Because people talk for 5 minutes on social media about the most shallow shit and think they have a real connection with someone until the next hot person starts liking their posts. If you find that you are not happy when you talk to them, it’s because you’re skipping the most important first step of establishing a relationship: talking to someone. Get to know someone on a deep level BEFORE you enter a relationship.
I think the main reason is the stress is so great there is no time or will left to sit down and hash out the problems, big and small, together. Be those issues within yourself, in or with your partner, your family, your work...
People don't talk - meaningfully - as much as they should. So, inevitably, ticking bombs explode!
I only date women so cannot speak about men - most very good looking women are so severely self-absorbed and entitled I find their expectations from a relationship downright shocking.
We are talking 'oooh honey I'll be flirting on instagram while you work but god forbid the dinner is not ready when my 2nd or 3rd boyfriend disappoint me' kind of attitude - whilst being entirely sure they simply are owed 'sex and the city' as their usual, obligation, effort and any responsibility-free, reality.
Cuz relationships, and especially marriage, are like the antithesis of this totally selfish commercialized, transactional society. We need to teach patience, conflict resolution, de-escalation, and provide an incentive and make it an honor to keep working on and fixing the relationship you committed to, not wish to a new one when it breaks. Marriage is something you could get a doctorate degree in and still know almost nothing without putting in the real time, 20, 40, 60 years. (Can u imagine?)
It's not about the relationship or those guys. It's about you. Are you really happy when you were single. If you are not happy & has lot of expectations from outside world. Then this will always end up in disappointment and unhappiness. No matter which guy you date. Even if u date Mr. perfect then also you'll feel the same.
So first fix your self before fixing a relationship. It's doest make sence to expect from any guy if u have such issues
because many people are conditioned by the movies and the television and think a relationship is the best thing ever and will give someone happiness and it’s like finding the holy grail. They also may not want the sacrifices. They also may be immature and be controlling. A relationship is really just an enhanced friendship. You have sex blah blah but ultimately it’s to keep the pair of you (if monogamous) together. Then maybe offspring will be involved (and come on same sex couples can have children too). It involves a lot of hard work and sacrifice. It’s not easy and yeah it’s not for everyone. So that’s what I think
Not just one in my view there are many reasons.
As for you being selfish, I don’t see that as being wrong at all. In fact it is much better to be selfish than not be at all.
However the point here selfish being a negative trait should be in complete control of that person and by that I mean you should know why you are selfish? For what you are selfish for and how selfish you are ( in terms of %).
If you have full control over your selfishness than it is not bad at all.
For me I think it's a matter that religion or not there are so many barriers that people have to fight to stay in a relationship. Society in general seems to criticize those that have been together more than a year and even more to those that think they can go crazy and try for 5. Don't even talk about those that may make it to 10...
Relationships are so fake. Two fake people in a fake relationship, "Gosh, how come I'm not really happy deep down?"
What if you met your soulmate and you gave them a dirty look and walked right past them and never saw them again? LOL.
Because they won't conversate about issues in relationships.
It's usually yelling contests that everyone has to hear, cheating instead of just breaking the relationship, gaslighting eachother instead of taking responsibility, won't compromise, mental/emotional/physical abuse, they use each other, and none of them know a relationship is supposed to be like best friends with romantic benefits
I think we're to fixated on the false idea of "perfection"
Because they’re either selfish or have different understanding of things.
1) they're not happy with themselves
2) poor communication
Because most of the younger people who are starting relationships these days are hung on themselves and what they can GET from a relationship rather than what they cam GIVE or SHARE in one.
Facts
People nowadays are in a relationship just for the sake of it, not because they are in love.
Also they expect the other person to make them happy.
Simply people's expectations get in the way. But who can blame people have expectations no one really. We all have things were looking for.
They are unhappy since they never gave it time and they never went for what there hearts wanted.
Basics are basics love is built insteps.
Because the freedom that has been allowed to your generation in your country was too loose to include proper etiquette, like respecting others and thinking about consequences. Comfort breeds weakness and soon this weakness will make all of us unhappy
You expect someone to make you happy. If someone is unhappy and they get into a relationship then they stay unhappy. Quit looking for a unicorn and accept that real men are not perfect.
because any power men had has been taken away by the governments leaving women to be in control of everything in a relationship which in turn makes her miserable. Relationships serve only the interests of women. Men get nothing out of it anymore.
too many high and unrealistic expectations, non flexibility, carrying old bricks into a new relationship
I always kept my standards low for dating.
@iceseeyou25 Im there now
Relationships are the same but people are different. Make sure what is the thing that makes you unhappy and try to solve it or be honest with your so about it
Most people aren't happy with themselves and therefore aren't gonna be able to make others happy either. I don't feel unhappy or happy i feel bored
They are unhappy because they are expecting too much from their partner and not compromising with his/her small cons, faults.. etc which leads to this situation.
It is because we have all become very engrossed in materialistic pleasures rather than focusing on living in the moment and enjoying quality time with our partners.
People have high standards and when a guy/girl doesn't meet them then they move on and on and on
Lol what would you do if your boyfriend was fucking you and then suddenly he farts loudly and sighs and then tries to keep going?
He farts loudly while having sex with you, sighs ( takes a quick breather) then quickly tries to go back to fucking you- would you still want to keep having sex or stop?
Lol would you view him differently? Would you guys have sex again? ( Let's say this is your first time having sex)
It was an accident and he refuses to talk about it
:)
A lot of women litterally wouldn't answer that question
@Iceseeyou25- what’s your point with the farting during fucking? Do you see it as a standard for how much you like the guy? If you do as @SofLuf said and shrug it off, then keep fucking, does that mean something in your estimation? (In case I fart tonite, I want to know the consequences... lol)
@Girther10 lol yeah maybe
Girls were always like freaked out and grossed out at the thought of their boyfriend farting during it so I wanted to see how many girls would be grossed out
People prioritise themselves over the relationship, guys as well as girls,
Cause not everyone wants a relationship and they aren’t needed
people are unhappy in relationship because they don't want to know each other properly and this is the biggest problem in this generation.
Social media 😂
Being optimistic in society is seen as childish and ignorant.
People look to find problems in everything because pesemistic views are seen as woke and smart.
Too much romance movies telling fake expectancies.
No disagreements :)
Porn possibly is the worse liar but romance movies don't help
Same reason kids like a new toy... its fun for awhile then a new version comes out and you want to play with that one bjt your parents say you already have a toy to play with... boring.
I think Covid played a big role in this. A lot couples can't see each other and haven't for months. Are you sure you don't have a fear of commitment?
For the same reason the roads in many countries are not safe: the wrong people get to drive on them.
Because the relationship is more important then the individuals in it...
Because women aren't women and they don't allow men to be men.
Because they're together for all th wrong reasons... simple... th system preach separation
Perhaps you are just happy as a single.
unrealistic expectations and lack of empathy
Have you ever had a boyfriend irl?
dating online for me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@swwetsparkle cool 😊
Dating online is different than dating irl
ya it's worse haha
@swwetsparkle true lol
Because we expect too much in a relationship and are not willing to give much in it.
Because of COVID-19 separation
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