I used to work for a police service, and learned a great deal about domestic abuse. Obviously, some of this applies to relationships that are in a bad way, but aren't quite abusive.
It appears that bad relationships are addictive. Often, the abuser is warm and loving on rare occasions, which can be enough. The mind gets the message of "endure this hardship, get this reward". This would be the same psychological mechanism that gets people addicted to drugs, smoking, alcoholism, gambling amd more.
Another issue that leaving a relationship is often an emormous decision. Bye bye partner! Bye bye house! Bye bye kids? Bye bye hometown? The thought of all this can put them off. The classic abuser uses emotional blackmail to exploit this weakness.
Finally, when many abusers realise their partner might leave them, they often turn things around for a while. Often they're trying sincerely. Often it doesn't last. But if it happens every time a partner thinks about leaving, it obviously reduces the chances of them leaving the relationship.
Humans seek pleasure and avoid pain by nature. I think that people that stick to something that is making them unhappy fear the thoughts of suffering more without the relationship. Take someone that cannot financially support themselves and they know it for instance, they might put up with such and such, just to avoid the rigors required of going their separate way.
They hate to be alone, its convience, they don't think they can get anybody else, they love drama in they relationship, they have low self esteem, they are fucked up person who trying to feed they ego so they up for the challenge of winning that person validation, have no boundaries once in love
Some people stay in their relationships even if they're not happy anymore because they don't want changes and the familiarity is there. Some are scared to be alone. Some are being forced to stay, There are so many reasons. We can't just judge anyone who is in an unhappy relationship.
I'm my experience, it comes from a false sense of hope that things could someday revert back to the happiness you once had. In addition to that, there's certainly factors of investment, whether it be monetary, emotional, or time consuming. Sometimes it seems easier to stick around than to try again
You don't want to give up on someone, its easier to keep getting hurt with someone you know then restart. The rather be unhappy then lonely is a big one, I have a friend just like that. Some people are in it for the money, their significant other pays the rent so they don't need to work. They have a kid (s) together. And probably thousands of other reasons
Both pleasure and pain are a distraction from the loneliness and longing inside. Most people feel terror at the emptiness inside. A relationship, even a bad one, can be a bulwark against these unpleasant emotions. It all really comes down to value judgments placed on external validation. It is garbage. You can be perfectly happy in any situation, most are just conditioned not to be.
I stayed because my ex was threatening to kill himself if I left and attempted both times I tried to break up with him. I eventually got his mom involved and left for good, but sometimes the answer is as simple as manipulation, coercion, or fear. Other than that I agree with the other answers.
Agree. The same thing happened to me, my ex was like "I love you, my life was so awful before I met you, please don't leave me, I can't stand it, I don't want to be depressed again" and things like that, so I couldn't leave him without feeling guilty.
Maybe the fear of being alone, or seeing that person happy with someone else who once was happy with you, or still being in love with them and wanting to fix the problems.
I don't know about others but I think happiness is not a constant emotion you have to seek. There are happy and unhappy moments. What matters is the ability of the both of you to get over the adversity
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