Before you vote. You need to understand. I was once highly attractive around age 7-14 I would go to places with my dad to pick up pizza and older hot females (college) would say "I love his eyes. How old is he? Bring him to me when he turns 18." Seriously. I swear to God this a true story. Anyway, what happened was my dad cheated on my mom and they divorced. My dad started using drugs and threw his life away. I became severely depressed in life. I loved my dad. I lost motivation. Girls stopped complimenting me once I became a freshmen in HS (I was depressed and girls could sense that). I basically was now ugly that quick. My glow was gone. I don't know if depression ruined my looks but something did. I used to be so attractive back then. I once got to experience what it was like being attractive. I was hit on by girls left and right. Complimented repeatedly by females everywhere. Girls would stare at me and then I'd stare back and she'd smile and I'd smile back while maintaining eye contact (flirting). This happened to me a lot back then.
Now, I am in my 20s and I realize the difference. I am no longer complimented not even by family members. I look at myself in the mirror and I see someone who is average but I am biased because that person is me. I am not fat and ugly. I have an average body type. In conclusion, that's how you know as a guy if you are attractive because you will be complimented at high rates and flirted with. Am I wrong?
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+1 y
Guys, it was my haircut that took away appearance. I grew it out during depression emo phase. I'll see what happens after I cut my hair. I'll let you know after I see a Barber if I am still ugly.
If I never get compliments in public, does that mean I'm ugly?
Good description and writeup. I'm sorry for what you experienced, you didn't ask for that and didn't deserve that.
You are being too superficial. You've actually described what the problem is... you were hurt by a family trauma... divorce and loss of your father to drugs and who knows what went with that. But your rational goes to physical qualities, your hair and such.
Females are EMOTIONAL processors... they are looking for an emotional connection. You started to describe that..."looking into her eyes". They of course like physical attributes, but it is the emotion that they seek... of a male presence. It is your emotions that are distorted, depressed, sad, lost, hurt, scared, fear.. whatever they are. If that is what you project... females don't want to mate with that. Only ones that want a wounded duck to care for. A female is taking on 9mon to 20 years to raise offspring. They want male confidence, strength.. then the mating and possibly attraction switch is flipped "on". If she sees wounded boy, she runs... fast.. even with lying excuses to avoid conflicts.
So the real solution is to focus on healing emotionally, internally, in your heart and mind from the traumas that were forced upon you, no fault of your own. That can be started by watching videos, going to therapist, meditating, praying to a higher loving power, writing in certain way so as There's many approaches.
It's a process... don't eat a mucho grande enchilada in one sitting... little at a time. But do it with confidence you can succeed and courage to overcome.
I'm sure you're wrong. I read somewhere that attractive people are actually complimented less because to everyone else it is obvious that they're attractive so they don't need to remind said person.
I only skimmed the other comments so this might have already been said, but I think the change in compliments has nothing to do with the change in your attractiveness but is instead based on two factors:
First, you're older now. People can point out how attractive kids are because people feel less self-conscious around kids, kids won't take compliments "weirdly," and they're just so free-spirited. It's easy to compliment them and no one will say, "Oooh, you LIKE him!" There is no sexual implication (well, usually; there is the rare creep out there, of course). As kids get older, they get more mature and people are less likely to feel you need the encouragement and admiring your attractiveness is more awkward.
Second, and I did see someone else say this, too, you may be less approachable. You aren't an adult now, too, so you're equals, or at least much closer to being equals, with other adults. You are probably less casual and more intimidating. You probably don't chat and grin as much.
Could be that you radiate a more negative aura, could also be that you've gotten older. I don't know how the culture is where you live, but here in the Netherlands, it's very uncommon to just compliment a stranger. I would consider myself as quite attractive and I don't get compliments that often. Maybe you also suffer from self-fulfilling prophecy where you think people don't like or look at you, while they actually maybe do, but you don't notice it.
In my opinion it's most likely the energy you radiate. I always get way more hit on in summer or while I'm in a relationship, because I think I radiate more positive emergy.
Gosh Louis, this must be hard on you. You were once a young hot 7-year-old stud and now you’ve lost that cuteness around your cheeks and people just don’t care anymore, not even Elaine at the Cash n Carry. These older women who used to undress you with their eyes are now giving you a wide berth and making faces at each other, as if to say, wow, look what a couple years can be. Louis, the harsh truth is that no one stays 7 forever. If we could all fuck 7-year-olds for the rest of our lives, of course we would. I mean, who wouldn’t right? But as time goes on, you start to realise that there’s more to you than your Barney backpack and your tiny feet. You are a whole, real person with feelings and acne now. You can give YOURSELF compliments. Say to yourself, once in a while, looking good Louis, and maybe people will start to see in you what you see in yourself. Good luck Lou, give em hell.
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+1 y
Well, I was also like 14 years old at this time. It wasn't just adults. It was actually older females within middle school as well. I would get asked by different older girls in the middle school. "What grade are you in?" I would reply "6th grade." Then they'd be like "aww. Okay thank you." Girls don't like to date younger guys I guess but basically, I am not delusional as you make me seem to be. I was actually an attractive young man. I could possibly cut my hair. I don't know but whatever.
Holy smokes dood. You need an injection of passion and fashion in your life. Get a good haircut and dress up in some hip swag. Women never are attracted to a project. That works for Hollywood but in real life you have to have your life in order to attract women. You have to get yourself together and look good. Work out, eat right and for gods sake don't dress like the typical 20 year old loser in camo cargo shorts sandals and a grey T-shirt. Look to Italy, Paris or even New York for your style. You will be amazed how women will treat you if you look good inside and out. Oh and get three good colognes and use them. Get women's opinion first on those, Good luck
Well for me compliments are rare. Yes after awhile it starts to get to you. Can put you down a little. While husbands get all the compliments from randoms. I ask my self too, am I attractive? How we think of ourselves can affect how we appear to others. Or people dont give a shit that you exist. You just have to overcome how you think and feel at this part of life. Just try to improve yourself as much as you can. Mentally and physically. Not just 1 or the other. Do not overthink what people think. The more positive you feel the more attractive you seem to get. I've been trying to work on myself. Not easy but keep trying. Once we start accepting ourselves, it will get better.
All it is is you got used to all the attention but now your not getting any. Kids are cute adults can be too but were not gunna go around saying it to you like a weirdo. Learn to love yourself. If u want compliments from others post your pic on places and ask for comments. Can't guarantee you'll get all positive feedback but its something if u REALLY need that pick me up.
From what you say, I don't think you just turned ugly but I think when you say you lost your "glow" you may have lost your confidence and was depressed and you don't stand out as much anymore. Also at the age of 7-14 those girls were probably just giving since harmless flirting. Like telling a toddler in a suit he's a handsome little man. Anyhow, you could be dead gorgeous but people don't compliment you out of intimidation
Relying on the validation of others is a sure-fire way to depression. Practice outcome independence, do what you do for YOU, and quit worrying about what other people think. BE YOUR OWN MAN. And quit this fucking whining, it just doesn't look good at all.
Adults are treated differently then kids. People are way more willing to tell a child looks handsome or cute. Heck even a very gorgeous woman might actually fine it difficult to date because she looks so good men are scared to talk to her. Don’t beat yourself up, just be more confident because that attribute is under rated when it comes to attraction.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
When you are feeling good, your eyes are open to the world, your ears hear the words of others more positively, and your demeanor appears open and accessible. If you were outrageously beautiful at 14, chances are you can be again at 24. Make some changes if it bothers you.
Probably, you no longer look approachable. Happy little kid to moody looking guy. No matter how attractive, maybe people just don’t want to mess with you.
I rarely had people complimenting my look in public and also though I was ugly AF, but surprisingly, when I posted my pictures on a dating site for the first time, I had likes and matches almost every day by pretty girls. A female friend once told me I was ok looking but also intimidating so this may be the reason no one compliments you anymore.
Dude the older you get the worse it gets , just know you were at your peak when you were that age you might get it back in your 30’s but when you hit 40’s forget about it lol
y wld u want that back :)? u shldn't rely on some offhanded attention to fuel ur ego mab u just look grumpy af but being invisible is much better sometimes bc u can make mistakes
@DizzyDesii exactly. I mean i was an ugly duckling back in highschool but now i have changed and get complimented often. You can't expect to be liked always by everyone when you change places 🤦♀️
Either that or life's pretty much over. GG WP. It will be your turn soon to recover from the mess, that is life. You will need lots of devotion and making money. Independence is of the essence. Codependency is evil.
My goodness... what the fuck gave birth to you and how much Meth was in their system? Or better yet, how are you able to count beyond 30 without having a barefoot partner around, you miserable little moron?
I don't know where you live but everywhere I've been it is pretty rare for strangers to come up and compliment someone on their looks, at least for adults.
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+1 y
San Antonio, Texas. I wouldn't get complimented but basically be stared at and flirted with. I would be complimented in public places when I had interactions with people. They would say things like "your eyes are so nice." "Are you a heart breaker?"
Yeah but my cousins and other guys the same age as me were jealous of me. They would never get these compliments. I was told this with friends and picked out by everyone else. They would single me out alone.
first off, no 7 year old is highly attractive. Secondly, I think you're just having a typical guy experience. Its normal for guys to go extended amounts of time without genuine compliments.
No you're not wrong... If you don't get compliments and flirting like before that means you lost your mojo.. I kinda lost it for a while when I gained some weight
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