How much do you value your independence in a relationship?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

For me it's really important.
The most common issues I have with my fiancée is that while she's really liberal on some things, she can really be overbearing on some things.
What about you?

[missy52]

I can't go without it. I hate having to ask to do things or to wait until somebody else is ready. Either you're down or you're not and if you're too busy to be down, I get it. I'll just ask a friend to join and do something else with you later. I hate having to cook for two (I always make way more mistakes when cooking for others than when I cook for myself). I hate being constantly surrounded by people. I dislike having to pretend that I'm less capable to make a person feel like they have a place in my life. You're not a kid. I shouldn't have to do that. I like to fix my own car. I like to be the one driving. I like travelling to new places... I just can't imagine someone trying to take those things away from me.

[pluto1]

Also the fact you have to hang with their friends and pretend to get along, sitting on the couch for hours with them talking about topics you are not interested in, waiting around when in groups waiting for people to make decisions what to eat, where to go, spending money on things you don't really want to.

[missy52]

Naw. I need to be close with their friends. Your friends say a lot about who you are. I also like to sit aimlessly on couches. And if I don't want to talk to them, I just dont. I walk away or do something else in the mean time. I don't think that hanging out with someone's friend makes you any less independent. Independence has more to do with people's ability to provide services to you. I guess you mean more in the sense of being forced to hang out with those you don't want to hang out with. But I do get what you mean about the eating out and obligatory gifts.

[pluto1]

Yes I'm meaning you have less time to yourself and with your partner as these other friends need to hang, your partners friends birthdays, dinners etc which takes time out from your personal time.
Also having to spend time getting gifts and also receiving gifts and pretending to like them.
Lucky I'm single atm and don't have to worry about this stuff and can focus on what I'm interested in.

[missy52]

Again, not necessarily true. My parents almost never attend the same parties unless if it's hosted by a mutual friend or if they want to. They also don't invite people they don't like to their individual parties or send them gifts. Hanging out with their friends is obligatory but what events you attend of theirs and how long you attend them is wholly up to you. ... As I am typing this, I do see how it's an independence thing.

[Kev600]

Some independence is very healthy for a relationship..

But if neither person articulates their boundaries and expectations, then you're leaving the other person guessing. Too many people break up with someone because they failed to live up to expectations that were never actually expressed.
This is really sh1tty.

If you follow a winner/loser mentality then you're not being assertive, which means you are being aggressive, passive-aggressive, or submissive; in your communication style.

Nobody is a mind reader.

Don't forget also, that acts of service is one of the key ways in which people express value and love for someone. (Love language).

Have those difficult conversations if you value someone.. and if you don't value them, please stop using them.

This all applies to both sexes.

[DrunkAss]

The way I see it is that if we don't have independent lives, there's not much left for us except the teeniest world. I preferred women that made our mutual worlds bigger when we overlap them, not smaller. My wife made our world at least twice as big. While I like the romantic idea of being stuck on an island with each other mutually depending on each other for survival, in reality, I like the feeling that being with each other makes the world feel like a bigger place. I was more inclined towards women who didn't just charm me with themselves, but opened my eyes to a larger world than the one I settled in... and I could do the same for her.

[psychoticanimallover]

I’d prefer to be alone 99.9999999999999999999999999999% of the time and be a couple 0.00000000000000000000000000001% of the time.

That would make me happy.

The rest of the time I’d rather just be around my Guinea pigs.

[CubsterShura]

The person least likely to leave my side on a rainy day is myself so yes independence means a lot to me.

I understand if a man wants a woman who isn't all about the independent woman vibe, but if a man tries to take away his partner's any existing agency in the relationship or as an individual that's a big red flag.

[Cherokeehp]

I love my boyfriend, but we are very different people. He’s really religious, I am not. He’s and introvert, I am an extrovert. He wants to stay inside and play video games, I want to go out and party. Our relationship would take survive without a certain level of independence.

[Cherokeehp]

*Would not survive (autocorrect is always changing my words)

[Poppykate]

A lot. I have my business. I have many hobbies and charity work that I need to find time to do. And I often need alone time to just recharge and relax. So alone time is essential.

[Alpha09]

A lot. Of course that doesn't mean being selfish and always putting yourself above the other person. However I have boundaries, and if they aren't respected they aren't dating me.

[bobalife]

A lot since I love being independent, but it’s more fun when you’re able to do things with your partner and value each other Why else are you with them?🙃

[DizzyDesii]

I like financial independence but im fine with depence on everything else. Whats not good is “codependence” where you feel like you can't live without en.

[BunnyGirl420]

Way too much. I've had it deprived from me for 11 months and it's bout time I finally am allowed to have it

[SavageGirl101]

It’s very important and if I feel like your tryna take that away from me I’m leaving idc

[BackAgain602]

Probably too much. I'd rather loose a relationship than my independence, any day.

[Zygum]

In relationship both partners should compromise with some opposite opinions and to make relationship, a successful, must have some sacrifice

[msc545]

A lot, but I also value her needs and feelings as well.

[SphynxUK]

I like being independent 90% of the time.

[Anonymous]

I only need dick so a lot.

[sheikalana]

A lot.

[bannacookies]

Its important.

[jimmy2]

Well mine was like that but we wirl it out