My boyfriend didn’t want to take care of me after my (minor) surgery, am I overreacting for being upset?

[Anonymous]

I donated my eggs today and asked him to drive me since I can’t drive after. After the surgery I was pretty loopy and crampy and I asked him if he could stay with me and take care of me for a little bit, like make me some toast and just be there with me. Even though it was a minor surgery, I was still pretty scared and felt pretty crappy after. He said his friend was at his house waiting for him and he had to go. I asked him please stay with me and he said “you’re not dying, it’s not a huge surgery you’re being extra” and left. I feel very hurt because even though it was a small surgery, I really wanted him there for emotional support and just to take care of me. And he acted like I was being dramatic. Am I overreacting for being very hurt and angry? I just know if I was in his position and he had surgery, I would be waiting on him hand and foot and get him anything he needed even if the surgery was small, so it really hurts that he just left like it was nothing. He did apologize but that’s it, didn’t come back or anything.

[Latenightoverthinkwr]

I will start by saying that this isn't a very good indication to future instances where you might need him for bigger more life events..
However, you should do a couple of things before deciding how to proceed. First I would think about this question "is this thing out of character for him to do, or does this keep happening in similar other things" this will help you by knowing whether this was a one time thing, or is it just his personality, if it was a one time thing, then you should sit him down and hear his side after telling him how it made you feel by him not being there for you, if it was something important and he has a good reason (not a lame excuse) for not Being there then you should ask him to let you know in the future and to try to be there for you even if he thinks it's a minor issue. If however this is something that happens a lot with him, then you have a choice, try talking to him explaining. That you need him to be there for you even if it seems silly to him, if he says he'll work on it, perfect.. If he still doesn't understand why this upset you and isn't willing to change his ways, you should think about how much you will be able to tolerate this quality in him on the future without it bothering you. Or you could leave him.. Its all a matter of communication and choices girl..
Good luck

[MeghanL]

I don't blame you for being upset. I would certainly want mine with me, whether it's minor or major. I would allow for a very very compelling reason, but I can't envision what exactly that might be.

[boggboss]

Did he have plans beforehand and did u ask him from beforehand to look after u?

[Asker]

No he never told me he had plans, but his “plans” consist of playing video games with his friend. I even said I could come to his house so he could still hang with his friend and he said no. I didn’t ask him to take care of me after but I didn’t really think I’d need it until I got out of surgery and could barely walk

[boggboss]

Then yes its shit but equally I can see why he didn't rush to do it or feel he had to and u may day its just playing games but I could be catching up or talking about stuff with his friend that his friend wants private if anything if its somthing thats truly bugging you then speak about it too him

[Anonymous]

I would be upset too if was you, kind of shows you how he would really be if it was worse , I know I would have stayed

[In_Trance]

Overreacting