My boyfriend trying to "forbid" me from dancing?

[Anonymous]

I've been taking salsa classes since before I met him, and now he wants me to stop. Salsa is my biggest passion, and it helps me a lot with my confidence and anxiety. Is it reasonable for him to do that?

[TheorionMage]

Your question is rooted in the cultural paradigm of Latin cultures, themselves rooted in Spain's Moorish invasion's dance heredity.

Dances the likes of Salsa, Samba, Lambada, Argentine Tango and Paso Doble' trace their roots to the candidly-shameless exhibitionist public display of Female allure seeking to AFFECT their Observers; celebrating: "I AM young, ... FERTILE, ... achingly passionate and ready to be caressed" and hereditarily borne of Arabian culture's 'belly dancing'. Male dance forms stress staccato strong linear poses whereas female forms are curving, FLUID and sinuous; the 'Yin and Yang~

Your boyfriend acknowledges the allure that dance form amplifies in YOUR femininity's expression.
He innately FEELS what it makes HIM feel. And seeks to deny that self-same competitive attention your dancing COULD engender in rival Suitors.

Read Desmond Morris' "MANWATCHING: A Field Guide to Human Behaviors"
Physically humans are 'troupe' animal ancestory... in times of peaceful co-existance,
male prestige is accorded by the 'desirability' and allure of their COMMITED Companion's AFFECT upon his Peers.
He is either UNSURE of YOUR fidelity OR... insecure about HIS abilities,
fending off the challengings of potential Suitors that witness of your dancing might draw.
He KNOWS he is presently "among the Blessed" and seeks to assure THAT doesn't change~

The 'real world' impetus to the Hollies recording 'Stop All The Dancing'

www.google.com/search

[NamerOfStars]

That does sound pretty controlling, but I'd caution against the "break up with him RIGHT NOW" advice I'm guessing is in the comments before mine. He may not understand, or have the wrong idea about what you're doing and why. Talk to him, and try to get his side of things. See if you can make him understand yours. Maybe invite him to come with you and see for himself (if that's possible).

It may be that this is too much of a wedge issue to work out (again, it sounds controlling to me, but then, I don't know his side of it), but it's best to make sure you understand why it bothers him before you decide what to do.

[Amanda156]

Dump him. Now. Then go to a club, then twerk on the hottest guy there, then bring him home, then fuck your brains out. Or I guess we're in a pandemic so maybe use Tinder. After that you can continue to do salsa and you'll be over your controlling loser of a boyfriend very fast trust me.

[slackbabbath]

No fuck him, that’s not right. My ex wanted me to quit my belly dancing classes when we started dating and I did (this was years ago) and it was just a means of manipulation to control me and it only gets worse. Him even asking you to quit is a red flag in my opinion.

[NathanDavis]

No, not at all, this is not reasonable.
he's already trying to control you, and also he completely ignores what you're very passionaed about, that's just very selfish, and you should not settle for this. This would be only the first thing that he tries to dictate for you, so just consider moving on and end this relationship because chances are that he will try to fight you before he comes into his senses, and that's not worth the hurt it will bring if you try to convince him otherwise. Significant others should not even need to be convinced about these things.

[loveslongnails]

Sounds like he's an insecure little child. Does he show any interest in learning one of your passions? If not, he should grow up, shut up, and be glad you have something in life that gives you so much joy.

Some guys said "try and understand why". Well, I just told you why - he's jealous and insecure. A number of guys have said you should walk. What I will tell you is that this sort of insecurity is just the tip of the iceberg, and it's only going to get worse. It's a bright red flag. Instead of recognizing it's HIS problem, he's trying to exert authority and control over YOU, making it seem like it's your problem.

I'd be VERY wary of this, and pay close attention. Whatever you do, don't you dare stop dancing.

[Nawlins34]

Not even remotely. If he has a problem with salsa dancing, date women who don't salsa dance.

"Salsa is my biggest passion, and it helps me a lot with my confidence and anxiety." - If this is true, then he doesn't know you well. No boyfriend that is truly for you would ask you to stop doing this.

Drop him. The end.

Be safe and good luck.

[Espresso-Grande]

It's an unreasonable request. Don't give up your passion for Salsa dancing , especially if it helps alleviate your anxiety and gives you more confidence. He's the one who's unreasonable. You'll regret it of you give it up for him.

[Espresso-Grande]

If**

[BeenThereLovedIt]

No, it's your life, not his. Stay with him if you want someone telling you what you can and can't do for the rest of your life.

It's YOUR life, not his.

[Anonymous]

he's a fucking moron. you should salsa dance. i've done it even though it's hard to learn and i forgot most of what i learned already but you should do what you love. why not take the fucking moron with you it'll give you's two a chance to get close and experience some physical intimacy and a good excuse for him to touch your body

[Opinion Owner]

unless he's just that dumb and doesn't realize it

[MrOracle]

Nope. He doesn't get to forbid you. He CAN break up with you if it bothers him that much, but he doesn't get to forbid you.

[Levin]

What's his reasoning?

And why do you use the word forbid? That word implies control. If he's trying to be controlling that does not sound good.

[_Troian_]

Well if you dance with other men there then yeah I can understand him, I wouldn't want some fool to touch my girl and dance with her like that.. I don't like this shit and it seems your man doesn't aswell.

[spartan55]

Absolutely not. You should laugh him out of the building.

[ChrisMaster69]

Nope, tell him to learn to trust you or keep walking

[maryisbreathing]

Not in the least, you're allowed to do salsa dancing if you want to and your boyfriend has no right to try and forbid you from doing it

[Egirl28]

No its not reasonable I you love to dance you should be able to dance.

[iFarted]

No one should be forbidding their partners from doing ANYTHING! Drop the dude...
He's controlling and insecure..

[pleasestopthis]

Of course it is not reasonable. A partner who forbids you from doing something you love is not worth your time, I suggest you leave him.

[bowenw]

It sounds like it's time for him to find a new girlfriend.

[Tomsta]

Speaking as a Salsa dancer myself it's not even that much of a sensual dance. Have you asked him why he wants you to stop?

[Stevefiveo]

No, keep dancing. If he can't handle it, then break up with him. He is supposed to be on your side.

[joechou]

I mean did you talk to him about it and why he want to stop dancing because It's sound stupid
Try to understand him and why did he make this decision

[Juxtapose]

Is he your owner or something? This a kink thing or what?

[msc545]

It is very unreasonable of him if that is all there is to it.

[Waldoe]

NO... tell him he needs to come to watch your classes or to stop making demands

[Inexpensivefurniture]

No it's not reasonable. He sounds like he sucks

[EmmaMary]

I'd tell him to go and take a very long hike.

[Agape93]

He can’t forbid you, so he can fuck himself.

[Meldrum]

What the fuck is he, Mennonite?

[RingOfFire]

No, not reasonable. He has insecurity issues.

[bobbidigi1]

Time for a new boyfriend

[worldscolide]

No it's not, what is his reasons for asking that?

[Kopodoulouski633]

can i see how u dance im curious

[JoyGirl]

Ehhh... no...

[In_Trance]

That's dumb

[Jmmmfi4]

whats his reason