During a rough patch in a relationship, would you stay and work it out or leave your partner?

[Mel2021]

[btbc92]

It depends on the reason why and how bad it is. I believe in waiting for marriage to have sex, so any amount of problems that aren't good or healthy, I can safely leave while I work on repairing the other damages: emotionally, mentally, etc. While I believe you should work to clear out all of the areas where problems are piling up. The problem is so many people are too immature to want to deal with them. I am not saying just being passive-aggressive, or wanting space, not talking about it just yet, etc is the problem. As an introvert I know full well the need to have that to calm down and sort through those emotions and thoughts before they can become toxic. However, somebody who is always attacking you, abusing, etc, is not acceptable. It's okay to be angry. It is NOT okay to be abusive or abuse another.

That's why I evaluate this in friendships I have with people. I never dated. But one thing I realized in those 99/100 problems and why I refuse to date men is because I have encountered in real life and on here that most men do not want to solve issues. I came from an argumentive family. I know first hand how abusive and toxic people be it male or female, young, old, etc can be. Some relationships run their course. But in a marriage, you cannot AFFORD it. You are married, work it out. Dating is not about keeping a person, it is about processing and elimination. The problem with people they take everything like it is a joke, yet they are desperate to keep you around like you don't matter. Be with people who share the same values. Not somebody you can't get along with and they have no desire to resolve them. If see this before dating them, this is how they will be when you date them and when you marry them. It's a pattern and a cycle.

What I have learned is if you keep attracting that kind of people, somewhere in you is what is attracting them. Or you interested in people who are not good for you. Sometimes not being together with a person is for the best. If it is for you to be together you will in the future. If not, it may have run its course. Sometimes this is often very preventable. And I come t find out for nearly 80% of relationships and marriages, too many people want these things sexually, but is too LAZY to fix the essentials.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion, I’m sorry this is something you have been through. I agree communicating is key.
I think people nowadays throw in the towel too easily when it comes to rough patches and just give up rather than work things out

[nekminnit21]

Stay and work it out but on some occasions space is good too.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion! See my ex left me during the pandemic due to my stress and I guess he couldn’t handle it anymore and left

[nekminnit21]

Then space, he can have all the space he wants to grow some balls.
He could of worked through the issue together, as you were both stressed along with the rest of the world.
Use your energy on you, healing and getting stronger. You got this! You are ok ❤️

[Mel2021]

Thank you so much! I just feel maybe I was really mean and horrible which pushed him away whilst I was stressed :(

[nekminnit21]

We all have faults and issues and in relationship we do argue, communication is key and if You love someone, you accept they have things going on and talk about it. So maybe you shouldn't of been mean, he needed to tell you it's ok and you needed to tell him, you appreciate him.

But it's Time to look after you now 🌷

[Mel2021]

I get you thank you. I did apologise and felt awful about it but I was never really sat down and discussed about how we could deal with this together long term as he became passive aggressive since he doesn’t like dealing with conflicts or confrontations

[nekminnit21]

Did he sit down with you either to talk things out, there is two in a relationship, don't put it all on you gal!
You are ok and you will eventually find someone who will always be there for you as you will be for him. 🦋

[Mel2021]

No he didn’t really he wanted to try and resolve conflicts as soon as possible on the day but not really talk about it long term, but maybe I not perfect either as I didn’t really discuss things either so perhaps I am at fault too

[nekminnit21]

Ok, well im sorry it ended that way, it would hurt, i hope ur doing ok.

[Mel2021]

Thank you I’m ok but it is hard as I did love him a lot

[Ripper_E]

Work it out because that's what a relationship is. It's work. People who expect it to come together like a jigsaw puzzle are not ready or not made to be in one. We, all of us, are individuals first. Our own lives, our own set of problems. We choose to share that with another person just like they choose the share that as well and walk down the same path. Despite your differences, you choose to be. If the person is worth it, you fight for it. If not then don't. But leaving for every rough patch just ensures you'll be alone.

[Mel2021]

I definitely agree, in my situation though my ex left me during the pandemic which I felt was more like A rough patch but they left me because they couldn’t handle the stress

[Ripper_E]

That happened to a lot of people. He didn't really want to be with you. If he did, he would have worked it out. Everyone was reunited by the end of the year. He left at the first sign of trouble. The love that keeps people fighting for each other, that isn't what he felt for you.

[Mel2021]

I know what you mean, I did become pretty mean when I was stressed so I feel that I pushed him away

[Ripper_E]

That's normal. I just get really bad migraines.

[Mel2021]

Do you think I’m horrible or that he left too soon? I’m sorry to hear

[Ripper_E]

I don't know if you're horrible and I can't say he left too soon. He did what was best for him.

[Mel2021]

Ah ok thank you just I feel horrible that he left me

[Ripper_E]

Don't. It happened. He did what he felt he needed to do. Move forward with your life and be happy.

[Mel2021]

Thank you, I appreciate it but I just feel hurt he couldn’t handle the rough patch with me or was it really all my fault?

[Ripper_E]

i gave you my answer

[Mel2021]

I know you did but I don’t know if people can reach their limits and leave or would that not really occur

[OlderAndWiser]

Every relationship has rough spots. If you always leave when that happens, then you will never have a long term relationship.

[Mel2021]

Thank you very much for your opinion! I agree with you, my ex left me when i became stressed due to the pandemic as there came a point where he couldn’t take it anymore and ended it

[exitseven]

yep, that's how that works alright.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Mel2021]

No problem :)

[Cynicaldreamer]

Unless he did something stupid or unforgivable, such as cheating, ALWAYS make an attempt to work things out! Most relationships are salvageable with good communication... most, not all, but it's an essential asset to any relationship.

If he's willing to help put the work and time into fixing the relationship, I'd stay.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion, my ex left me during the pandemic as I became extremely stressed and feel I pushed him away

[jennifer_bloom]

A guy from church told us that the death of a relationship is apathy and not moderate and manageable conflicts so if the person stops caring and trying it’s time to end the relationship.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion! I just. Find it sad people give up rather than work through things

[ShadezMcgee]

If you can't stick through the rough patches in a relationship and run, you will never have a good long term relationship. A lot of people leave the second things get hard.

I would do everything in my power to make it work and help us persevere through it. If ultimately it doesn't work, I can at least say I tried instead of ran.

[Mel2021]

Thank you I agree. My ex left me during the pandemic as I became stressed and I guess it came to a point where he couldn’t take anymore

[kkirk4442]

Every relationship has rough patches. If you love the person enough, and if the problem is not insurmountable, they stay and work it out. If you leave every time there is a rough patch, you will be in serial relationships, never knowing the depth of love attainable, when you work through issues. Obviously, this doesn't work for all situations.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion! I appreciate it, my ex left me from what I felt was a rough patch in the relationship and the pandemic was making me stressed, I may not have been perfect most certainly not and could have been mean but I wanted to go through the rough patch with him

[The_Maphio]

As usual, it's pretty generic the way the question is put.
What is the rough patch? Is it a couple thing or it's something that only regards one of the members?
Does it concern a behaviour or what else?
I can't possibly give any advice from such a lack of data.

[Mel2021]

I get what you mean sorry about the vagueness I guess I mean when couples go through a time in their relationship where it could be like a trial and tribulation

[The_Maphio]

Well I'll try to formulate a generic response then.
Of course a couple shouldn't break up at the first hurdle, or no relationship would last a year.
The nature of the conflict might create deeper cracks though, which needs some serious teamwork to get through. Hard to trust somebody when you believe they are the source of the problem, for instance, and without trust and respect there is no couple.

[Mel2021]

I agree. My ex left me due to the pandemic causing me stress and it came to a point where he couldn’t handle it anymore

[The_Maphio]

Sorry for your "loss". Don't know what else to tell you, I'm pretty bad at consoling people.

[Mel2021]

It’s fine I appreciate the opinion, thanks for your time

[Dazed0N0Confused]

I'm stubborn & of I think it can be worked out, I'm going to do my damnedest to try & work it out. My boyfriend is the same way.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion! You are very lucky. My ex left me during the pandemic as I became stressed and feel I drove him away

[Dazed0N0Confused]

We all go through highs & lows, if they aren't going to stick around for your lows, they don't deserve you at your high.

[Mel2021]

I get you but what if the person feels they had enough or is that not a good excuse?

[WesBrewer]

Always stay and work it out, if I just left on a dime when it was hard how would I ever get a wife.

[Mel2021]

Thanks for your opinion. My ex left me during the pandemic due to me becoming stressed where I guess he couldn’t take anymore of it

[WesBrewer]

That’s too bad, stress makes other people stressed which wigs them out so it makes sense, I might be the same if it wasn’t for me growing up with my parents who are always causing and being stressed.

[Mel2021]

I understand but I think it sucks nowadays that the slightest problem now they seem to run

[WesBrewer]

It’s interesting how it seems women in the past were considered fragile but now it’s the “men”. Although I guess it more the mentality of men looking for easy but not for quality.

[Mel2021]

How do you mean by easy and not the quality?

[WesBrewer]

Typically, not always, but typically if it is easy to stay in a relationship it isn’t a quality one, and it won’t really last it may go as far 6 years (maybe more) but at some point they will not get whatever they based their relationship on and it will fall apart. I’m not talking about quality of the woman specifically, but that can be a correlation.

[Mel2021]

Oh I see what you mean but that’s a pretty crap realisation I guess. I think to be Honest if you have someone that you have so much in common with and they love you not to let them go as people like that are hard to find

[WesBrewer]

Yeah, sadly life is tough. Finding the right person is always difficult, which sucks, but yeah.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Rough patches will determine whether you stay or leave.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion. I agree. My ex left me during the pandemic which was making me stressed as he couldn’t take it anymore

[Bang5luts]

Communicate! Love them when they aren't very lovable and hope they do the same for you! Remember, the grass is greener on the other side of the fence because that's where everyone sh*ts.

[Mel2021]

Agreed my ex left me during the pandemic as I was becoming stressed and he came to a point where he couldn’t take it anymore

[Bang5luts]

I am so very sorry you had to experience that. I went through the very same thing, but I wasn't getting stressed out, it was because she was stressed out 🥺.

Abandonment is one of the most horrible feelings in the world. Especially if they just leave and stop talking to you.

[Mel2021]

Ah that’s awful I’m sorry :( you will find someone though that will live and appreciate you!

[Mel2021]

😞 sorry this is the emoji I meant

[Bang5luts]

You are super sweet. Obviously his loss! Thank you for your kind words!

[Mel2021]

Your welcome :) and thank you for your kind words too!

[The_Outlaw]

My last 'relationship' had so many rough spots patches that weren't only repetitive, they also simply couldn't be fixed so I made the choice to walk away. She wasn't happy about it anymore than I was but I'd also had my fill of the toxic BS that came with it.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion. What if you were in a situation where your partner was stressed?

[The_Outlaw]

Most likely, I'd stick with her.

[Mel2021]

That’s nice you would do that. I became stressed during the pandemic and my ex left me As he couldn’t take any more of it

[The_Outlaw]

I'm sorry he did that.

[Mel2021]

Thank you I appreciate it, it just hurts as I wouldn’t have left him like that

[The_Outlaw]

You're welcome. Hope you're doing better now.

[princeofromance]

I would stay and try to work things out. The other half is completely up to them. If I do my part, but they are unwilling to do their part; the relationship will ultimately fall apart.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion! My ex left me during the pandemic due to me becoming stressed and I guess he couldn’t handle it any more and was becoming unhappy himself

[princeofromance]

Don't blame yourself for what happened. We all go through rough patches in our lives. It may not seem like it now, but things will get better. I have struggled with depression myself. It is not easy at times. We just need to stay strong and be here for the bright future that awaits us in the journey of life.

[Mel2021]

I find it very hard not to blame myself I guess as I feel it was all my fault

[princeofromance]

It is not your fault. You want through a rough time in your life. You just need to start a fresh path for yourself. I want through a period of depression in my life as well. Things are still not perfect for me, however I try to make the best of my life. You need to love yourself and enjoy your life. You are not to blame for what happened.

[Mel2021]

Thank you I appreciate it, I just don’t understand why he couldn’t stay and work this through with me

[princeofromance]

You had nothing to do with his decision to leave. He made that choice, and he made that choice alone. He will have to live with that. You need to be strong and move forward in life.

[Mel2021]

Thank you very much for your opinion and advice by the way!

[etexbearkat]

In my opinion, you should always try to work things out. If one partner in a relationship, whether it be a friendship, or romantic relationship, doesn't want to work things out, then the relationship will not work out.

[Aquariusmystery]

If you can’t even sort out an argument, you shouldn’t be together. Running away is cowardice

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion, my ex left me during the pandemic as i became really stressed and it came to a point where he couldn’t take it anymore and left

[Anonymous]

Obviously stay and work it out, providing they were willing to also. It takes TWO.

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion! My ex left me during the pandemic as I became stressed and I think in the end it was too much for him and I made him unhappy with my stress

[Miristheiss]

Usually stay... but it depends on what the issue is. I have certain issues that are pretty much deal breaker things so if it fell into that deal breaker category I would just leave but outside of those issues I'd stay.

[Mel2021]

What kind of issues would you say are deal breakers? Thank you for your opinion!

[sensible27]

Relationships are like ropes maybe, you cut it and then you put it back together the ends come closer together

https://youtu. be/2nLWPNfNMHI

[sensible27]

https://youtu.be/2nLWPNfNMHI

[Twalli]

If you're the type to leave during rough patches you'll never get married

[Mel2021]

Thank you for your opinion! My ex left me when I became stressed during the pandemic where he couldn’t take anymore

[Twalli]

Fact is a relationship will have rough patches. If you stay and try to work through them, you may still break up, but if you don't, your relationship becomes stronger

[Mel2021]

100% agree but I feel hurt my ex couldn’t handle the rough patch of the pandemic

[Twalli]

The pandemic has put undue pressure on EVERY relationship

[Mel2021]

It had but it’s sad a lot of people have gave up and ended their relationships in the pandemic

[Twalli]

I meant even beyond romantic

[Maspolomas]

After 26 years the rough patches have made a new quilt. Despite that we are still together

[Mel2021]

I find that very sweet! My ex left me during the pandemic which I felt was a rough patch but he had felt differently about it

[Maspolomas]

I’m sorry to hear that

[Mel2021]

Thank you I appreciate it it just hurts as I feel I pushed him away due to becoming stressed

[Maspolomas]

Maybe you will get back together in the future

[Mel2021]

I don’t think so as he has stated he just wants to be fiends

[Maspolomas]

Well take things slowly maybe fate has a plan for you. I’m still friends with an ex for thirty years now. Nothing more just friends someone to talk with time to time

[Mel2021]

Thank you, I just feel hurt though due to him leaving and told him I need space and not to contact again unless he wants to rekindle things as it’s too painful being friends at the moment

[Smashingdoozy]

If the patch is rough enough for me to even think about leaving then I should leave. A relationship that has right moments that bad isn't worth staying in

[Alyssa11]

Depends on what the rough patch is. I’m loyal to the core so I would always want to stay and work things out. The only thing I’ll not tolerate is disrespect.