u Before I get into a relationship, I look around and see many girls who are attractive. Once I get into a relationship, those other girls don't become ugly. They are still attractive. And as long as I am alive, whether I am married, LTR, or single, there will always be many pretty girls in the world. If I am in a committed relationship, I can look at those other girls and think that they would be very arousing and satisfying in bed.
But that doesn't mean that I want to have sex with them. Being faithful is not something that happens because all the other girls are ugly. If that was all that faithfulness meant, it wouldn't be much of an accomplishment or a reflection on good character. No, faithfulness happens even though there are other girls around me who could tempt me if I allowed that to happen. But I don't.
I don't focus on other women. I go home to my partner every afternoon, every evening, every day.
Is it normal to be aware of what is going on around you?
Is it normal to read so many questions on this is website asking "IS IT NORMAL..."
Is it normal for me to ask why so many people are obsessed with what is normal, and what horrible, socially irresponsible, or self-destructive things some of those people might do if they find out that something isn't normal?
Is it normal for people to continue trying so hard to be normal despite the everyday examples in the world today about how screwed up normal things, done by normal people, really are?
To answer your specific question about normalcy, I would imagine it is normal, because if you don't notice something like how a person looks, then either you're sick, dead, or preoccupied with more pressing issues, like not dying horribly
from some unfortunate inexplicable unanticipated accident or unfortunate event, like a real life Lemony Snicket
novel.
I hear you, love. I'm the same way and used to struggle with this concept a lot. That said, I think there's a huge difference between recognizing someone is conventionally "attractive" and actually being attracted TO them, relationship or not.
For example, I think my mom and sisters are beautiful. Does that mean I'm sexually attracted to them? Obviously not. Framing it up in this way helped me realize the two things are not one in the same.
A guy can be super into you and still recognize that women are attractive, in the same way you can, without actually wanting them. I hope this makes sense!
Most people can be attracted to other people while being in a relationship.
But what you are describing about yourself is also normal.
I am sort of similar to you. I can acknowledge that someone can be pretty to people, but that doesn't mean it would even cross my mind to fuck them.
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Absolutely. It is normal to have crushes or attractions. It is NOT okay to act on it by flirting or texting or sexting them. Or doing things with the crush that you wouldn't do if your boyfriend was there. Even if it is innocent behavior... if you are having to sneak to do something it means your heart is cheating even if you are not.
But looking at someone or finding someone attractive is normal. Telling that person I would say is a bridge too far. I would say that is flirting or making a move on someone. It's not okay. It is not cheating but it is building up a roster or trying to initiate a change in relations that leads to cheating. Extremely disrespectul and not okay.
That's only really realistic in the initial infatuation/getting to know each other phase. Those are some potent hormones and endorphins that are kicking in then.
Beyond that, beauty can be appreciated at any time. That mechanism doesn't just shut off.
No matter how much you love someone, it does not change the fact that a third person is attractive. The issue is to accept that they are attractive, but to do nothing about it.
I find some guy friends attractive, but that is as far as it goes. I know my partner finds one girl on GAG very attractive, but nothing will ever happen.
It isn't cheating, as there is no intention to be unfaithful, either physically or emotionally. It is just recognising someone is lucky enough to be good looking.
It's pretty normal because you'll find the qualities that made you find your partner attractive in other people.. I mean I've had women with boyfriends call me handsome, and I'm pretty sure you found some other dude handsome or cute but it didn't matter because you love your boy..
It depends, if it's just looking and fantasies for sure, no problem.
The only time It's okay to have more intentions is when both you and your partner wants to be in a polyamory relationship of some sort.
Anything else is consider cheating, even if you have open relationship with your partner, because that only says you are fine with that.
Just don't intend to do anything that could be hurtful.
Use your head and heart in relationship, don't use your hoohaa and pp for other purposes than making love and typical daily behavior.
Take care and have a wonderful life and stay awesome!💪💪💜😎
The sight of beautiful women brings me joy. A beautiful woman is like sunshine on a cloudy day. I don't want to be with them, but I sure can appreciate their looks. They are like fine art, beautiful flowers or cute puppies. How could I NOT appreciate them?
My wife gets it. She doesn't mind. Sometimes she'll even nudge me and point out a particularly gorgeous ass or impressive set of tits. She can appreciate particularly hot guys, too, especially certain movie stars. Anyone who can't admire and appreciate beauty is dead.
The idea that being in love precludes someone from admiring beauty in anyone else is naive.
Insecurity and jealousy are unattractive, unless there is reason to believe that your partner would cheat, in which case, you're with the wrong partner.
You can apreciate the beauty of something/someone without wanting them. I could go to the aquarium and think wow that's an attractive/colourful fish, but I wouldn't want to take that fish home with me. As long as you your not rubbing it in your partners face and trying to play games or thinking you would rather be with that girl rather than your partner I don't think there's a problem.
It seems to be the way it happens... Like every Hallmark movie 😂
I may be wrong, but I was in a very committed relationship in my 20's and my girlfriend and I both admitted to seeing other people that we found attractive. She (girlfriend) told me when we were out shopping, that she: "had to go home and masturbate" ! It was to some guy she pointed out to me in the store. I did not feel insulted or anything. I think or thought at the time, that she was at least being up front and honest with me.
As far as the sword cutting both says, she did not seem to be upset if I commented on another women.
Biology and sex are very powerful.
That said: I would never be so obvious as the guy in the picture. That is just ignorant.
This is completely normal. Your eyes and brain don't stop working. You can still determine that something is attractive, or even find something attractive.
Because if what you thought was true was actually true, then no one would ever cheat.
The commitment to a relationship is not because you find only one person attractive, but because you make the conscious decision, repeated over time, to only act on your attraction to one person and to deepen your relationship with them
Western culture is so obsessed with 'individuality' that most REFUSE to acknowledge that visually, we as a species, are but 'variations' on a theme. HOW POWERFUL that perception TRULY is, ... is the phenomena of theatrical 'female impersonation'.
For those curious, you need go no further than to internet reference the Asian 'lady boy' cross dressers who exploit this human predilection.
These trans-gender males exploit men, by data-mining cultural gender-al 'glamoury' cues to experience female privilege and offering, oral, anal and manual intimate interaction. A very OVERT example of this is a Deviant Arts artist 'Freeks Place' often seen on both Deviant Arts and Pinterest with accompanying stories and photos.
You are mixing up the use of the words attractive and attracted
I can find Loads of women attractive, however that does not mean I am attracted.
So using this fact.
Are you saying when you are in love you find no one at all attractive?
no celebs, no ex’s, no people you see?
attractive. Antonyms: unattractive, repugnant, repulsive, uninteresting, disagreeable, unpleasant, deformed, ugly, deterrent, loathsome, forbidding.
there are a huge bunch of people I find attractive, including.. Audrey Hepburn, Hedy Lamarr etc, not attracted to them, as they are dead.
Of course.
The difference between a loyal, faithful partner and a shady partner... possibly one who could commit affairs is the faithful partner will have good boundaries and not go out of their way to spend lots of time with this person they are attracted to... talking with them all the time, going out to lunch with them and sharing quality time because they are "friends", pursuing the high they get from being around someone they find attractive, enjoying the attention and possible flirting... etc.
That is how feelings form and things start to grow out of control and the next thing you know they can't stop thinking about this person... etc.
A faithful mate will not spend too much time with someone like this and they prevent feelings from sprouting by not getting too close, talking about too much intimate life details and flirting.
The shady mate wants the time with this other person and they'll start a little crush.
Being in love doesn't automatically turn every woman into a slob lol. It's just more about you refusing to see anyone in a sexual way. So maybe yes they aren't sexually attractive but they are still pretty. I was sitting in the car with my wife one time and this voluptuous redhead walks out of this shop and I'm talking about, this woman was bad af and before I could stop myself I said out loud "got dam" and she seen who I was looking at and just laughed. I think she knew as well and this wasn't my normal character.
Yes it's possible.. Think of it like this. You have a favorite flower, you love this flower. It's your flower.. Does that mean you don't find other flowers pretty? No.. To say otherwise is to deny your humanity..
Its the same with women.. I love my wife, I will never be disloyal to my wife, but yes I do see other women as attractive.. Nothing compared to my wife, but to deny other women are attractive is to suggest I'm not human..
Attraction simply does not work the way you're suggesting.
It is normal to be attracted to others or find others attractive. The difference is the intent. One is based on observation and knowing through interaction and the other is lust and desire.
Most who are committed understand the look but do not touch model. Acknowledgement, but no pursuit.
most people (male and female) do see and feel. attraction even when in a commited relationship. your not is a little on the rarer side or could be you just have not come across the right person to spark that while you were in a relationship. the main thing is whether that attraction is truly acted on or not (looking is not acting on it). its actually something roughly hardwired into almost all species from time immemorial linked as a way to help ensure the contiuation of the species and to vary the genes involved.
"I personally can’t be attracted to someone else when I’m in love."
That's something I love and respect about women. I admire their ability to bond to one sexual partner that completely. It makes me want to be faithful when I am in a relationship.
"Maybe guys are different."
Generally they are. Men are better at separating their feelings from their sexual attraction drive. That doesn't mean all men are that way, and it doesn't mean all women AREN'T that way, but generally men tend to be better at separating the two than women.
I love so deeply so it’s like when my heart and soul is all in no other guys matter to me but him ~Scorpio.
i wonder this myself, there have been times when i thought i love a girl... but then i can always find 1000 other girls hot as well as her.. so i question if i ever really was in love... probably not... i probably dont have the ability to fall in love
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