How do I stop being clingy to my boyfriend?

[alee_alee]

I enjoy spending time with my boyfriend. When i don't see him for a while i start to miss him which is normal to feel. However, he does not feel that same way, until nearer the time we finally get to see eachother, i guess he is in acceptance he cannot see me for that time so he is okay and then he will get excited when it's time to see or spend time with me. He has described me as clingy before, and i probably am tbh. He has told me that it is strange for him spend so much time with me his girlfriend and he never gets to see his friends. Which is not true as i usually spend the weekend with him, and he sometimes see's his friends during the week. And i have no problem with him spending time with his friends, as there has even been times where i go to visit him at his house, and then out of no where he tells me he needs to go see his friend where he'll spend hours at, while i'm just at his place waiting for him, which annoys me as he did have the whole week to see his friend, and even if he did plan to see his friend he could have told me before hand so i didn't waste my time, going to his house only to wait on him. I don't want to feel this insecure way of needing and wanting to see him a lot, i want to know how to not be clingy and be reassured and fine with not seeing him. And i also want to know, is it strange for a guy to spend some weekends with his girlfriend?

[virtue2332]

Clarify what clingy means. If you mean like not respecting personal space or boundaries when the need for them have been clearly communicated then no one likes that. Everyone is different and if you care about them you need to be aware of non when your partner would like some space. You should also be aware that it doesn't mean they aren't into you. Not to compare you to a pet but it is what I'm doing only for the purpose of seeing it from another perspective. If you ever had a pet that you loved. Was cute and cuddly. The only problem was everytime you were home they are so excited to see you that there in your face or on your keyboard as you tried to type. If it's ever happened to you it can start to wear on your patients. You still love it but and might appreciate it more if it wasn't so extra all the time. Regardless the two of you should communicate logically about it and compromise on something that you are good with. This should be something you both agree on. Don't listen to pressure or what friends tell you they should do or how it should work. You have to decide. It's simple just break ask your self what's more important to you and is it soo th important that you are willing to step away or is it important but not important enough to lose them over.

[alee_alee]

Thanks for your response. I definitely respect his boundaries hence why I always ask if it's okay I come over. And if he says no I just say okay and move on. I understand what you're saying about the pet example this is helpful.

[virtue2332]

Yeah I didn't get that you were that way because people that act that way are usually oblivious to how they are acting. I just wanted to use it to make a point. I was in a hurry so I apologize for it barely being legible. I'm usually the one that has to remind myself to engage emotionally with women I care about. We all love and want to be loved in our own particular way. The key is to be genuine to yourself and be willing to make compromises that you are okay with if you want it to work out. You should never change for someone though because you sound sweet. If he doesn't at least sound appreciative and willing to reassure you when he does need time alone you may have to find someone who loves more like you do. They are out there but you shouldn't let people tell you you should you only need to listen to your heart because it will know if something is just not right. Our gut or heart is more accurate at guiding us than our logical side when it comes to relationships. Not saying that it always right its just not as easy to overcome and change in the long run.

[beardedbigguy]

I wouldn't say you are clingy, however this is how he feels. Which you should listen to him. Now you need to sit and talk with him about your feeling, what you want and come to some arrangements that could work well for both of you. See what each of your expectations are with the relationship but also with your time together. Maybe plan some dates that include his friends and some woth your friends. Spend time together doing things you both enjoy. I hope this helps. Remember that open communication is the key.

[Anonymous]

No, it isn't strange for a man to spend his weekends with his lady, but you have to understand that DURING THE WEEK he & his friends are BUSY with WORK or SCHOOL or WHATEVER THEY NEED TO DO & the weekend is also their time to catch up & relax after the long week.
How about you ASK if he needs time with the boys?
If he's calling you clingy, there's a red flag right there. It means you're too much & need to back off before you push him away. Its normal to miss your partner, but you have to be able to accept that there is times you won't see them & that you will see them as soon as you're both able. It takes emotional & mental maturity, something you should figure out before you push him away.

[alee_alee]

Thank you for your response. I'd like to add he does not work or go to school, therefore he has a lot of free time, where as I work all week and have the weekend off. I always ask him in advance if it's okay to see him on the weekend he always says yes so that I assume he's not busy. If he tells me no I listen and back away, however, it does make me feel a little sad that I can't see him which I do not want to feel.

[Aquariusmystery]

I’m the exact same and my boyfriend loooovvveeesss having his own space. I’ve learned slowly to just start doing things you like by yourself (or with friends if you can’t manage it alone) and distract yourself with nice things to do. Maybe shopping? A nice meal? Girls night? A good book? It works wonders. It’s hard work to be okay with not seeing him all the time, but you’ll get through it.

[Interstate]

You need to diverge your attention to other things to distract yourself from him. He needs his time and you need yours. If he starts feeling smothered, it can destroy the relationship. You need to respect his acknowledging other interests. Spending time apart is just as imperative to a relationship as your time together.

[Anonymous]

You're more invested in him than he is you. His friends are important to him and he'd like to spend more time with them and perhaps less time with you.
Doesn't sound like you are being unreasonable. But there is a mismatch which presumably causes tension in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like your boyfriend is out of you league? Is he more attractive than you? Does he have a lot of female friends? Do you notice that other girls are attracted to him? Any of these factors could cause you to be clingy (in my experience)

[alee_alee]

Tbh no I don't think he is out of my league lol, and I don't think I'm out of his. He doesn't have any female friend's. No I don't know notice girls being attracted to him

[Opinion Owner]

Why are you clingy then lol

[alee_alee]

I just enjoy spending time with him, it makes me happy. But mything is that when i don't see him i get sad and i'll miss him. He does not feel the same way, because i guess he thinks with logic and not emotion where as i don't. I'd want to be less emotional about the siutation and put logic first.

[pleasestopthis]

Look for other interesting things to do instead, and ask first if he's free to see you instead of wasting your time in case he's going out. It sounds like he's very protective of his own time

[Leavesbound]

If I was your boyfriend I would not mind you clinging as much as you wanted to.

[exitseven]

Give him some breathing room. Everyone has things on their lives besides a relationship.

[noob__master]

I don't know he sounds kinda like a dick. That does not seem clingy at all to me. I would always want to spend time with my girlfriend

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, he should have told you beforehand if he had plans with his friend. That was poor communication.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Get a hobby? Independence is very important in a relationship.

[Narcotics]

If i was him my hands would be around that waist 24/7.

Daaam girl you fine.

[Iron_Man]

Just don’t overthink it and take things too seriously

[NightHawk99]

Clingy girls are the best in my opinion. But it seems your man don't get that.

[Luckycharms12]

Well just do you make plans with friends have fun by yourself.

[pleaseloveme]

Find someone just as clingy for u

[Anonymous]

Why is your waist so cute!

I can't imagine how it would feel fucking you with that curves!

I'm feel hot right now

[he-takes-a-part]

Start sending the pics to someone else and obtain exclusive comments

[anylolone]

Find other things to do.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Find something important to do.

[JesseJayNeak]

Tbh, I wouldn't mind a clingy

[Jxrdyn_13]

Find love in other places