My girlfriend is Chinese. I know that I love her. Obviously, if I hear myself telling her "Wǒ ài nǐ," or "I love you," then I am reminded that I am in love. But I also find myself being protective of her, nurturing, wanting to do things for her, wanting to keep her safe and secure. I want to hold her close sometimes and I feel better just being close to her. And I know that some guys will want to call me names for showing my feelings in that way, telling me that I shouldn't treat any woman like a queen, but you should also know that she treats me like a king. Before I come to visit her, she makes sure that she has my preferred foods and beverages, she wants to do things because she knows those things will make me happy, and she comes to visit me (we live 80 miles apart) as often as I come to visit her. At each house, we have an identical set of coffee cups:Mine. . .and hers.Aside from hearing "I love you" coming from your lips, how do you know (or what do you do that serves to remind you) that you are in love?
@nella965 Very Good Chance he has decades. He’s healthy well off and no major health issues with a positive disposition. There is no good reason on this earth why exactly je should not be dating if that is his wish. He has no less a right to it than you or anyone else. I don’t know where you get this nonsense even less how it can make sense to you and least of all how it is you have crowned yourself gatekeeper to relationships. This is garbage. People date in all stages of life for all reasons and it is the wise person who Is willing to question throughout life as we all change constantly and no one ever knows anything 💯
Furthermore perhaps you have not noticed but his posts are well liked on here he is a fantastic contributor and I think it is extremely inspiring and a positive influence the way he continues to grab life fully.
Just like OP I am sorry if you are going through some personal trauma that caused you to lash out in this ridiculous fashion but this was incredibly gross. If you had difference of opinion there are so many adult ways you could have approached this. If you are 26 you are way — way too old to be acting like an entitled snot. 🤧
He probably “ liked” your post bc some of us on principle, support contributions even if we disagree. Tho in this case there was no contribution- just a bigoted attack & not even veiled. Shameful.
Oh I didn’t realize the post had been removed which makes perfect sense to me. Dejected this too as it will call up that post for no good reason. I’m sorry she was so distorted. Probably very troubled. I have never seen anything like that exactly. literally nothing said was applicable in any rational way.
I’m very happy for you this sounds really beautiful. And hmm to me it’s hard to put into words. There’s no specific thing or feeling it’s more just like becoming one with someone good or bad. It creeps up turn suddenly bam it’s undeniable. It doesn’t always feel good lol I find it quite stressful at times but there’s just a constant inextricable connection.
In love is diff than to love of course. U can love people I’m not in love with snd Vice versa. I think of falling in love as happening to me. To love is a decision and an obligation once declared..
Of course! I hope you can easily dismiss her ramblings. And as I said if you want to delete this it’s ok I feel bad for calling attention. I write it before I realized her post was gone.
I've only been really in love once, and I've told u about Mitchell and my relationship. For me I think I knew I was in love with him when all I wanted was to see him, and see him happy. He's someone I wanna protect so much, and I'd do anything to be with him. I've been beaten by my dad for it and called racist names but I still stay because Mitchell makes me feel happy. He's the reason I've been going to therapy and getting better and help for my mental illnesses and past abuse. Everyday I try to be a better person for him. And ik my explanation sucks but I'm not very good with explaining things lol
Your actions and words are a reflection of what's in your heart. If you do genuinely love someone then the way you treat them, talk to them/tell them reflect the love you have for them in your heart, the feelings coming from it and all 3-4 are synchronized.
Which is the case for me. But you know you love them because you just having that feeling of knowing that undeniable feeling that tells you, you love them you moron.
But it's more then that you want to protect them, care for them, nurture them. You want to make them happy and you want them to be happy, you want what's best for them.
They make you want to be a better person ( or at least improve ) it's painful when they are gone and blissful when they're around. And there's that pull almost like a magnet being drawn to another magnet that sense of being drawn towards pulled towards them.
Always wanting to talk to them, be around them. But also important is that they make you happy.
I remember i was in love with these three guys (not at the same time) because i was willing to die for them. One told me, i was nuts and he wouldn't do the same for anybody no matter who. The other told me that he's glad i’d be the one to die because he could do more for his world anyways. And the third didn't know i’d die for him lmao but i knew it in my heart. Either way, i regret having loved all 3 🤣
When I was 11 years old my grandpa sat me down on the back porch in Tennessee and said, "Son, you can't help who you love you just do." He was married to my then grandma for 35 years at that point.
When you're young, with precious little life experience falling in love is a very strong emotional experience. Arbitrary decision making based on the emotional tsunami that characterises this experience, usually has negative reprecussions throughout the relationship. Unfortunately, manytimes it can also become the catalyst which irrevicably poisons the relationship. If I could imprint the importance of having a pragmatic perspective, then if used correctly it could alleviate a great deal of heartache.
Man look here to hell with what any dudes Say negatively about you displaying your love for you girl, hell i do it and care less what Sabine thinks, just because you a man what you can't show how you feel, that's why those dudes are at home alone with a case of beer and stack of porn dvds, it puts s smile on my face to hear you say what you did don't ever compromise that it feel any other way but proud and your girl is also and yes brother that's love your feeling showing experiencing and it only gets better with time as you both grow understand each other better it enhances you, your lives, so don't ever worry over what anyone thinks you doing just fine isn't love wonderful when somebody loves you back, wasn't that a Song,
Glad for you both. Sounds like you've done well laying a good foundation and vision. Curious if you had much exposure to chinese people as a child and/or were drawn to anyone chinese in early life... like movie star, etc?
I think when get to see them as a human being, differences, and accept and protect, then that's love. The challenge there is putting oneself aside for the other. Being open to change and communicate patiently, and with consideration, that's love. Being willing to put my wants aside for her, that's love. And looking forward to being with, talking, life with a joyful heart, that's love.
I used to think it is a feeling, maybe that is part of it, the rest is choice.
For you... when you sit down for "dim sum" and dine with a smile of Buddah, then that's true love. <sarc>
I have been open and honest of living in a rural area. That I have been in 3 LDR, giving each guy a chance and compromising in the relationship. What has hurt me from the previous LDR’s is that I was judged and criticized. They also rushed things waaay too quickly and didn’t want to get a chance to know me. They had this fantasy of us moving in together and having children. I would tell them to slow down for a bit and get to know me. But they would roll their eyes and get annoyed with me. Then over time I could sense them getting bored with me and I have caught them flirting with other women.
Usually when i’m fully compromising or willing to sacrifice things i really want. As well as when i can't go a day without talking to them or when i take their side over my family. And of course when i see myself marrying them, building a fam together and dont want to live a life without eachother. But ig all of this can be confused with being naive and stupidly infatuated as well. So who knows
I can tell someone i love them but not be in love with them so I don't know if saying it really counts. But its nice to know. Also, ig i’ll know im truly in love when no one else crosses my mind. The three times i thought i was in love, i pretty much got frustrated that they didn't change for the better for long and then i started craving a better option. So the fact i was ready to leave because they wouldn't get their shit together within a certain time limit shows that i prob wasn't in love like i thought
That is really deep @DizzyDesii I have always just realized that I was in love when I actually cared about him more than I cared about myself... Yet, you to took it to levels I never considered... That is a very "feel good" way to see it... I really like your perspective on this!
@BethanYou thank you! and i agree with you as well that i used to look at it like “who would i die for?” But after what i wrote in phoenix98s opinion about the response i got from two exes i wouldve died for, i’d no longer die for anyone other than my future kids
Ur sooo sweet. Ur feelings for her are pure and I wish u the best. It's hard to know exactly if ur in love, but u should know it. Like ur heart pounds, and u can stare at her photos forever, u think about her before u sleep and when u wake up. Those are some examples, but u should know it
I thought I was in love with somebody. We even talked about getting married. I was pretty settled about it but things sort of fell apart. I met my future wife a few months later and it was love an a whole different level. I just knew from date #3 that we were going to end up together. It was exciting and comfortable at the same time. We lived 300 miles apart and could not get enough of each other. Even today 27 years later I still look forward to coming home to her.
can't stop thinking about them, you put them 1st before anyone else, you text them 1st thing when you wake up. You make them a PRIORITY not an OPTION. You spend every waking moment thinking about them, thinking about marriage (if you want it) or just being with them.
I'm reminded because I do things now that I wasn't confident enough to try before, like showing my feelings. I was always a very guarded person so I surprise myself speaking my mind without expecting anything in return or afraid of the fall.
My mum knows that feeling. Although she has a new partner now, she still thinks about dad every day. Been nearly 16 years now. I don't think it will ever fade.
I don't fall in love, but people I"ve known who fell in love said it usually feels like you're sick or something, or you feel a lot of pressure and nerves regarding it, lol I'm glad I'm missing out on that
@NatalieKeller95@Jamie05rhs Perhaps that is the experience you or your friends have had so far, but I can assure you that being in love is a wonderfully grand feeling!
You are in love man. Also when i think of love and wNt to know if i love someone or not i just think if i can live without their presence from tomorrow? If that scenario looks too scary i know i love them. Also do i look forward for their calls, messages, chats, or anything that comes from their side. I eagerly wait and reply in seconds
You two are doing most of it and I am happy that you are willing to put more effort into it. You can learn about 5 love languages if you already don't know. Use those languages. Both of you seems to be using that already. You will get to label love languages if you haven't already done so and pay little more attention to it. Spend more and more time with each other. Don't be long distance for long. You feel exactly what you are feeling when you are in love.
Love is a two-way street. My guy treats me like a queen. I try and treat him like a king. We do things for each other. We have got to know the little things that we like. The little things that say silently, "I do this because I love you".
Love for me is just being comfortable in presence of that person.
Even if not talking but just being there seeing them smile.
And looking at there face in total awe and being mesmerised like every time you see them there is a calmness you get or feel when you look at them just doing normal things.
You know it when you get the comfortable and cozy feeling. Doing any type of activity together makes you feel happy in that moment and the days after you don't see each other.
People seem to separate infatuation/lust from love a lot but I don't see the difference, because the women I lusted after were also ones I wanted to protect and care about. So I don't see the difference and don't think it matters.
This is very crude but one of the signs that they seemed special is that I wanted them even more after the first time sleeping with them. I wanted them, even more, the second time, and the third time, and so forth, up to a point. Whereas with some other women, it's like I sleep with them the first time and my thought (although I did not ditch them like some ass) was like, "Been there, done that."
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