Is there a way for a pre-op or non-op transgender girl to marry a very conservative man, preferably Muslim (not strictly) ?

[StarOfEast89]

Since I was a child, I dreamt myself in a very traditional relationship with a man that is highly conservative, protective, well established, dominant should I say, a bread winner and that loved having a submissive house wife, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen (obviously the latter can not apply to me being transgender, but that doesn't mean we can't adopt or that I can't mother a single dad's existing children, indeed, the one that raises you is the real parent), and pretty much a nineteenth century Europe dynamic in the marriage.

I tend to get very triggered if looked at, especially if stared at, especially by strangers, and especially by ones that look me in the eyes, it's like an invitation to kick their ass.

So, even having to wear a full body cover, such as a burka or niqab, not only would not bother me, I would probably enjoy the social barrier, especially if I'd only be in public when accompanied by male guardian, and not having to go in public that often at all, for that matter.

I expect receiving a lot of hate for this, as I was called "stupid", " depraved for supporting abuse of women for selfish interests" like I'm obliged to conform to male roles after going through all the trouble of transitioning and all to please some feminists, "gold digger" etc, which is why I won't allow anonymous answers and will delete from my view the ones that look like trolls.

So where and how do I find a man that is very dominant and protective and wants a very meek and submissive (even sexually) transgender house wife? I either encountered men that were very close to what I wanted, but they only wanted cisgender, or some that wanted transgender but we're not what I look for at all (quite frankly eunuchs/sissies in my opinion), flaky ones, immature boys (sometimes with deluded fantasies) or some men that were outright creepy.

Updates

+1 y

I see many people got too fixed on the religious aspect.

To clarify, I'm not looking for a Muslim specifically. Just for a similar dynamic. bn

For the man to be dominant, protective and to provide. Not expecting filthy rich, just financially secure, and not looking only for the finances.

Otherwise he can belong to pretty much any religion or be an atheist for all I care, but certain religious backgrounds at least attempt to make real men out of boys.

[DIYboi]

What has been previously posted (concerning islam) is accurate-ish. Just like any religion there are rules, but as well all know followers often cherry-pick what rules they follow. I know many Muslims (gay, straight, trans, etc) who each have different views on different "rules", so it's not impossible to find a Muslim man who fits the bill, but it won't be easy. Most who are conservative enough to follow that relationship dynamic are usually openly anti-lgbt+ (because they are traditional and that usually means they follow their book (s) very seriously). So be super careful, it's easy to fall into abusive relationships (especially when part of a marginalized demographic). You also need to be careful of fetishization of trans bodies, it may seem like love, but it often isn't. And it usually turns abusive... Your best bet might be to look in a country that doesn't criminalize LGBT+ (I don't know where you're located), that way if a relationship gets abusive you are somewhat protected (or at least it'll be easier to get assistance). Also, please keep in mind, true feminism involves equality for ALL genders (male, female, non-binary, etc) and with equality comes the freedom to choose things like your career/future, what you wear, etc. I personally don't like the idea of the hijab or niqab (or any form of modest dress in the name of any religion) but I recognize that ultimately it's her/his/their choice and that's all that matters. If they are actively choosing to dress this way (no pressure from laws or force from their community/family) then a real feminist will support their sibling. If it makes you feel safer, then do it. Your happiness is important, you've only got one life... make it enjoyable. My current partner is Muslim, and while we don't agree, mutual respect is important. So make sure your future husband respects you. From one trans person to another... Good luck and be safe.

[StarOfEast89]

I'm from eastern Europe, now in India, not settled in stone here, just wanted a break from all that drama between radical christians and radical leftists. India is far less transphobic, even in rural areas, than eastern Europe, where I would genuinely be scared for my safety. However there is a stigma against marrying a white woman here, transgender or not. Some of them also require one to be already post-op, and I would prefer my partner to pay for that, as a symbol, more than anything.

I know in Iran, once a citizen that is a transgender woman receives the psychiatric certificate, she is required to register with the morality police, and most of the Sharia inspired state laws concerning women will apply to her until surgery, while after surgery, they all apply, including the right to marry a man. I wonder if it works the same for foreigners, but if it does, I would immigrate in a flash.

[Belgie]

For the most part, no.

Most men who seem okay with dating trans women, don't want to marry them.

Most men who fetishise trans women, don't even see them as people, rather objects.

It's a very very rare man who is masculine, dominant and willing to date/marry a trans woman. And it's almost impossible that he'd be conservative.

That trans woman would have to be 10/10 hot and able to pass as a CIS woman. We're talking super-model hot. If you look like Valentina Sampaio you're probably going to get a husband.

[natured]

"So where and how do I find a man that is very dominant and protective and wants a very meek and submissive (even sexually) transgender house wife?"
I mean, i wish I could help you hun but I think you are mostly looking for approval rather than an answer to actually WHERE.
And personally, you got my approval complerely (if you care obv) but generally speaking it's your lead to follow, you have to find something that suits you, we can't help you here.
I'm sure that it will be hard to find someone like that, but never say never.
Wish you the best.

[StarOfEast89]

What I look for, is a way to find the kind of partner I need, preferably without needing sex change surgery, or, if I'm compelled to have it, at least having the partner know the truth AND PAY FOR IT HIMSELF. I could easily have surgery from my own money, then pretend I was born a girl, go to Saudi Arabia or even some more extreme area, like a caliphate rogue state (if they still exist) and be snatched right away, but I have a few "dwarves" on my brain, and one of the biggest "dwarves" (like Soviets used to say, that in the Soviet Union, everything is big, even the Soviet dwarf is the biggest dwarf) is having the partner pay for it, if I'm compelled to have it (personally I dread it, and, again, I would rather not have it at all).

[DescendantofLilith]

I truly hope that you find someone. It could be hard to find a Muslim that is okay with you being trans, so I'd rather be looking for a non-religious conservative man. Traditional values can also be found outside of religion.

[StarOfEast89]

What kind of person could be non religious and conservative? I dated some extreme right wing heteroflexible men and even some extreme right wing homoflexible butch women. Didn't go that well, they were really committed to an idealistic goal, like anti-system crap, whereas I am very self-centered and think that the head and members of a pack (family) should only care about and pursue the interests of the pack, screw the outside world, they are fair game, which led to arguments and eventually separation. That's another thing, if the partner isn't alpha enough to actually lead, protect and provide for the pack, I feel compelled to not stick around. Taking care of myself is enough burden for me, I don't need a weakling partner to add to the burden.

[mazharhussainkhan]

Islam does allow marrying transgenders. Since you are looking for a traditional man, you will easily find such a man in conservative countries like Pakistan and India. But they will most likely be abusive.

Finding a partner is hard for straight people and the world is full of straight people. It will be extra hard for you to find your dream man.

I suggest you find someone who loves you and respects you and settle in with him no matter if he is traditional or not.

[StarOfEast89]

I am in India now, not Indian by birth but white immigrant from the cursed eastern lands of Europe, which is more homophobic and transphobic than India (Poland, the Czech Republic, Hungary, Romania and Russia take the cake when it comes to which European countries are most anti-LGBT) , not sure about Pakistan, but I know in Iran once a citizen assigned male at birth declares she identifies as a woman before a psychiatrist, she receives a certificate with which she registers at the morality police, and since that moment, most Sharia inspired rules apply to her, until surgery, when all the female laws apply, including the right to marry a man. I wonder if it applies to foreigners too, I would immigrate there in a flash.

Not sure what you mean by "abusive", but if the woman is very submissive, is there a reason to abuse her?

Also, I couldn't love a man that is not protective of me or wants to be my equal. If we're only room mates, I'd rather have a female room mate and that's how I would see a weak, unprotective man, as a simple room mate.

[mazharhussainkhan]

I don't know what to say to that except only that I wish you the best. I hope you find the type of man you are looking for.

[Avicenna]

There’s nothing in it for the guy, and something you need to remember is the importance of family to Muslims, and I very much doubt you’d get their approval, especially since that means no grandchildren.

[StarOfEast89]

What you mean there's nothing in it? Do you think a maid that does all house chores would be cheap if he'd hire one instead of having a wife do it? Even if he affords one, it's still expenditure. In Western Europe, a few years ago, full time live in maids used to go for wages of at the very least around 2500 euros, which had value back then. I'd assume it might be even more today.

Then a live in sexual partner that is very sexually submissive for free. Do you have any idea how much an escort charges for even a weekend (we're talking of average girls here, to afford a luxury escort for a weekend, you'd have to be really rich, whereas I only look for decently established, reliant men, I'm not expecting anything exotic)?

[Avicenna]

That presumes that he wants to have sex with someone with your current equipment and that he's in Western Europe. Even in Western Europe, I can't imagine a Muslim guy of the sort you want going for this.

[StarOfEast89]

At this point I think you're trolling.

First of, when you make statements like "there's nothing in it for the guy", you start from the presumption that he would be attracted to me as I am.

Moreover, he can pay for my surgery, that would be the ultimate devotion proof.

Last but not least, maids aren't cheap anywhere in the world, that's why only rich people have them (it's a no brainer, which is why I think you're trolling).

What are you, a member of the incel army, lol?

[Avicenna]

I've tried to be helpful to you (I have a lot of experience with the Middle East and Muslims), but since you've decided to go ad hominem simply because you aren't getting told what you want to hear, I won't comment any further.

[LeeannaDD]

I feel like this kind of man you want is traditionally the least likely to accept you.

[StarOfEast89]

So should I have the surgery and pretend I'm cisgender? I would prefer that any surgery I have is payed by the man I'd be with. It would be the ultimate proof of devotion on his part, which is quite fair if total submission is expected of me. That's not something I'd offer free of any personal interest.

[LeeannaDD]

I don't think surgery is going to change his mind. Trans and gay people are still put to death in Muslim countries

[StarOfEast89]

I meant if I have that vaginal construction surgery and after that I try dating some muslim guy and not tell him I'm trans, lie to him I was born a woman? Could he wonder why I'm infertile though?

[Avicenna]

Lack of fertility and also your age will be a big problem ( Muslims usually marry at much younger ages)

[StarOfEast89]

@Avicenna That can be a problem, though I was told that some guys in Saudi Arabia would be very eager to take a white woman with blond hair (like me) as a token, just like some rich people from the Emirates like keeping wild felines as pets, especially an older one, and they can have up to four wives (which would also not bother me at all), even at my age. It was during one of those discussions when I was shown hate, for allegedly supporting rules that some regards as abusive towards women. Of course, I left out the part about being transgender, the last thing I needed would be to be hated based on that too, and the guy didn't know.

[Avicenna]

I can only strongly discourage you from doing that-the potential for you being abused and/or facing a physically and psychologically dangerous situation is too great. You do not have the same rights there as the locals.

[Mia-Wallace]

There is a chance, but it's very low.

[liel443]

Sure, I've heard they're are a very open-minded bunch, the conservative Muslims.

[DaisyM23]

I’m sure you can find one but I don’t think many men fit the criteria you want

[Iron_Man]

I’m not familiar with that

[Omar5881]

Mostly no but there are always exceptions

[Sabretooth]

is this a troll question?

[In_Trance]

Gong show

[J9inva]

I’d like to PM you

[StarOfEast89]

About what? If you have something to say, I'd prefer you say it here.

[Nachowedgie]

Probably not