Was she really my last chance of having a woman without a romantic past?

[Inthecraphole]

Last year, I met a girl online who had never had a male friend before she met me. She had no previous boyfriend and never had a first love. She had a crush, however, she was not close to the boy whatsoever.

When I came across her, she was 17 almost 18. She grew up in a devout Catholic home and was homeschooled her entire life. She lived in rural Illinois.

We carried on an online "thing" for several months. A week after her 18th birthday, I went to visit her. She discovered I wasn't her type. I was crushed.

I am even more crushed now that she is engaged to marry a new guy.

But my question is, do you think that was the last chance I had in finding a decently attractive woman without a romantic past?

Yes

No

See poll

[litty]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Your background description of her fits a cult.

Besides being told what to believe, those types of girls aren't allowed to talk to other guys unless their father says so. The father also chooses who she gets to marry.

So unless you were hoping to get married and skip the dating phase, as well as possibly converting to their religion, then that's how it is.

As far as women without romantic pasts, your best shot is looking for women that are very focused on their career and don't have time for starting families or dating.

[Inthecraphole]

Thanks. I am assuming I need to date younger girls, like 18-21ish.

Her family only allowed "courting". She wasn't part of a cult, but her family were strict and devout Catholics.

[litty]

I mean, that's the youngest you can technically go, but not necessarily. It can be hard to believe, but there are women around age 25 who have never had a boyfriend let alone any sexual experience. They just never had time for it or were too shy to ask at least until they felt like they were missing out.

[Inthecraphole]

I just really hope I can find a woman like that.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Let's look at this realistically. If we say you walk into a room with 100 single women, nthe chances you will find someone without any sort of past relationship might be like 5 of the 100.

Now of those 5, you are going to have to find one that likes your looks and personality.

Now of that, maybe 1 or 2, you'll have to find one who shares the same kind of morals you do. If you are intentionally limiting your searches to 1-2% of eligible partners, then you are making things incredible hard on yourself.

Now take all of that above and wonder why you limit yourself to an idea that in the end is most likely more detrimental to both of you than a benefit.

[Inthecraphole]

Why that low? You honestly don't think I will find another like her again?

[exitseven]

@ez-bri-z I can't argue with logic like that.

[Ez-Bri-Z]

It isn't impossible, but you certainly don't help your chances by limiting yourself so severely

[Anonymous]

Why go after someone that young tho… you’re almost 30, you might end up in jail. There’s plenty of women in their 20s who have never had a boyfriend before like my sister and one of my best friends - they’re both in their mid 20s. The thing is though everyone (even toddlers) has develop crushes even at such an early age. So if you can’t even tolerate a past crush then yeah your chances of finding a girl would be 0

[Inthecraphole]

Crushes are fine as long as she wasn't close to the guy. Like that girl I was talking about, she crushed on a guy but was never close to him.

[Inthecraphole]

Can you introduce me to your sister or best friend? Please?

[Opinion Owner]

Oh okay, oddly specific haha and no they don’t appreciate me introducing them to guys but best of luck to you!

[Inthecraphole]

Thank you. At least I have a little hope now. Just slight.

[Opinion Owner]

Just be more open minded. Maybe don’t ask about a girl’s past relationship when you’re just getting to know her to kind of trick your mind a bit you know. Pretend she doesn’t have a past, make sure you like her for her and not judge her based on her past otherwise you’ll likely end up alone forever.

[MTC29]

What happened to your plan of taking on a second job in order to earn enough money to purchase one of these woman? Was it filed away with your enrolling in junior college so that you could seduce them with your (no doubt) substantial charm?

Women may be a lot of things, but stupid is not among them. You're pathetic, and it's easy recognizable.

[Unknown52749]

The only women your gonna find that might have had no relationship's before you are just out of high school girls like 18 and 19 years of age. You being almost 30 I don't know kinda weird, your probably gonna have to scrap that idea and settle with someone who has had a partner before or just nobody at all.

[Inthecraphole]

I know a guy who is 28 and has a 19 year old girlfriend and they go great together. It can happen.

[Unknown52749]

I mean yeah it technically is legal since she's over 18 but that's treading thin waters.

[exitseven]

You need to get over this thing about finding somebody with no past.

[Inthecraphole]

I just can't. I cannot find myself loving a woman who has loved another guy before, especially from her youth. I cannot say me and a woman knew each other when we were young anymore.

[Inthecraphole]

And I have been feeling really bad about it for a long time and it only gets worse. My therapist cannot even change my mind.

[exitseven]

okay- finding a suitable mate is like finding a pair of shoes. You try on a few before you find one you like. Suppose you find a girl with no past and you start dating and for whatever reason you do not get along and you decide to end the relationship. Does that mean that you are now undateable ever again? Does it mean that you are no longer worthy of love? Why is this any different?
I am not saying that you should find somebody with a huge body count but it is unrealistic to find what you are looking for and you are missing out on a lot of potential companions,.

[kqueen]

There are plenty of women without romantic pasts but this whole question is creepy as fuck

[Inthecraphole]

Why do you say that? What is creepy about it?

[kqueen]

you're specifically seeking out women who have no experience with men, and are therefore more likely to be naive/put up with stuff women who are more experienced would. You were fully willing, at the age of 26, to enter into a relationship with a very sheltered girl who was barely over the age of 18 that you'd met online. Based on your question answers you previously had sex with a 16 year old at 20 years old. Depending on where you lived at the time that was either barely legal or illegal. Just so many red flags. You're honestly coming off as a pedo/virgin fetishist

[Inthecraphole]

I just want me and a woman to be each other's first loves. I am grown and in my upper 20s now. I cannot say me and a woman knew each other when we were young and spent our youth's together. It hurts to know if a woman has formed those romantic bonds with guys when they were both young.

[kqueen]

yeah, but what are you gonna do if the relationship doesn't work out? Just decide that means you can never have another relationship? it's just unrealistic

[Inthecraphole]

I really don't know. I hope when I find that one girl, that we would be meant for each other.

[kqueen]

sounds like you're setting yourself up for one hell of a heartbreak

[Inthecraphole]

I don't know how to really answer this. All I know is that I cannot give me heart to a woman that has loved someone before me, especially if it was from her youth.

[kqueen]

do parents, siblings, friends, etc. not count? have you never loved anyone in your life before? Romantic love isn't more important or more binding than more platonic forms of love

[Inthecraphole]

But I am specifically meaning romantic bonds. Like a "first love". A guy from her youth she was very close to. Someone where if she were able to reunite with him, it would be a sweeter, more desirable outcome even if she chooses to stay with me.

[kqueen]

How do you think first loves work? I don't even want to see my first boyfriend, and the thought of getting back with him makes me physically nauseous. Do you think that because someone loves someone at one point, they must always love them?

[Inthecraphole]

I think many people become more sentimental as they age, and they may have a special place in their hearts for their first loves (or those they were involved with in some way in their youth).

[Inthecraphole]

And who is to say the guy won't be better later down the line and it may be sweeter to say your first love was meant for you afterall? You guys get to be both the first AND last love.

[kqueen]

hell no. Your first relationship is usually just the one you got into when you were young and dumb and horny. You'd understand if you'd had one. You're much less likely to get nostalgic about it than you are to wince when you think about it

[kqueen]

And no, there is no way my first boyfriend could change to make me want to get back with him. We were incompatible, toxic, codependent, he was emotionally abusive, etc. He was just the person I got together with when I was too naive to know better. There's nothing sweet about it

[Inthecraphole]

I still want a woman where we can be each other's first loves. One where she has never made love with a guy either. Yes, I had sex. But I never made love.

[kqueen]

Yeah you fucked a teenager, I forgot about that. Did you think you were going to be her first love too? It would be a more accurate concern to worry that if you're with someone who's never been in a relationship they may decide they want to live a bit before settling down and leave you

[Inthecraphole]

I don't want a girl that has her youthful fun and just "settles down" with me. She formed those memories with other guys from her youth. I don't want to be the guy she "settles" or "settles down" with.

[Inthecraphole]

My question to you is, do you think I will be able to find a decently attractive woman and we be each other's first loves?

[kqueen]

At your age? You'd have to date a naive teenager, which you're perfectly fine with apparently, or just accept that anyone you date is a human being with a life before

[Inthecraphole]

I'd say at this point she has to be at least 18.

[kqueen]

so just a decade younger than you and barely an adult

[Inthecraphole]

Exactly, if she would be willing to be with me that is. I do like younger women.

[kqueen]

You're a creep and I hope that the teenagers you try and get with have the good sense to stay away

[Inthecraphole]

Again, I will get with girls 18+

[Anonymous]

You might find another one but you’ll probably be 50 by then

[Juxtapose]

This is just pathetic lol.

[Inthecraphole]

How come?

[Juxtapose]

You have nonsensical standards because you don't want to be compared to other men.

[Redstang88]

Probably

[noohair]

So are you a virgin?

[Inthecraphole]

I hooked up with a girl during a weekend fling when I was 20. She was 16. But I have never had an actual girlfriend before. I am not looking for a woman based on her sexual past, but her romantic past.

[noohair]

There are plenty of competent doctors available for you.

[Inthecraphole]

What is that supposed to mean?

[noohair]

I am not a medical professional!
This Romantic Past thing, I have never herd of it before. I sounds strange to me. Sort of neurotic. Like you have a fear of measuring up.
Again, I am not a medical professional.

[Hulk30]

because it's true