If your partner called you “Bit**”, would you stay with them?

Question

This question is for guys too. I know some guys who get super pissed if a girl or another guy called them that. I think its childish af and extremely insulting. You can call out my behavior more maturely than that. The B word is a dealbreaker for me in both friendships and relationships. I can honestly only recall referring to someone as that once in HS and that friendship ended. What she did to me was just as wrong but i shouldn't have went there. And i was also referred to as that by only one ex when he couldnt get something sexual out of me and well we did not last long after. So if you ever, ever call me out my name, you’re basically letting me know we have no future 🤷‍♀️ #FeelFreeToList

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

I honestly can't even see that happening. The closest I've ever had was in the middle of a fight where we had a massive misunderstanding. She semi wrong semi rightly thought I said something that I never did.

She said, "Why are you acting like a bitch" which feels the same but it's really not. I addressed that immediately. She apologized quickly. We cleared up the misunderstanding. She apologized even more. We made up with sex and kisses. It's all fine.

How you fight is important, how you make up is important, and it's important for the man to lead the relationship. Had I not made it a point to address how we came at eachother it could have gotten ugly and gone down a bad road neither one of us wanted.

Something people don't think about isn't just how you make them feel in the moment. What happens 6 months down the road when they're stressed and pissed about something else, then while they're mad they think about everything that you've done/said that's pissed them off in the past 3 years.

Do you really want them having you saying that to them on recall? I wouldn't. As much of an asshole I might be, I do believe in love and to me that's not how you treat someone you love even when you're mad.

TheorionMage · Accepted Answer

My juvenile Mentor taught me early on... "To be genuinely insulted by someone's comments you must FIRST respect their opinion as being an accurate and unbiased perception"

Scenario: You're walking down the street, without provocation an unfamiliar dog begins hostilely growling and barking at you. Are you going to drop to all fours to its level, and bark back menacingly meeting on ITS terms? Poignantly, 'No'.

One EITHER circumvents further interaction WHERE possible or,
DEFINITIVELY physically 'educates' the dog as to its error-in-judgement PAINFULLY, ... POTENTIALLY LETHALLY, if left no OTHER choice,
and as 'example' to its peer pack. ... affirming, I AM the 'Alpha'.

If confronted by multiple aggressors, focus on the loudest, the biggest or MOST abusive and make a heinous example of them. It causes their peers to subliminally consider:
"If He/She CHOSE to mercilessly, expeditiously 'best' the 'Alpha'... what have they in store for ME?" The object? To 'break' the mob mentality sense of safety in numbers.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My partner around one more, and he said "you're my bitch" in a playful and joking way. And I was pissed off. There was no harm or malice in his voice, but the negative connotations were there. It's a degrading word and I had plenty negative experiences being called this word by my father as a child.

Needles to say, I shut my boyfriend down immediately. I gave him a stern look and so said "What did you just call me? Absolutely not, no. I don't like that. Don't ever do that or say that to me ever again. I'm serious. No, don't."

He understood I was playing and he was extremely apologetic about it. He kept apologizing and showered me in hugs and kisses.

It's good to address ones likes and dislikes immediately. You have to teach people how to treat you.

Rachel794 · Accepted Answer

Absolutely do not stay with anyone who calls you that, very disrespectful. I agree with you. When people tell you the context doesn’t matter, that’s just a cop out. If you don’t like the word, then you don’t like the word.

Bluemax · Answer

My wife never called me a bad name. Ever. No significant other ever called me a bad name. Ever. No woman I've ever dated has called me a bad name. Ever. Most of them didn't cuss much at all. To me or anyone else.

If it *did* happen, I would advise her not to do it again. Doing it continuously would end our relationship.

My wife and I rarely even raised our voices at each other.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I would be as calm as possible, look her straight in the eye and tell her.

Excuse me? I don't appreciate the language here, so you have two options. Either talk to me and address me in a way that is respectful or get the fuck out of here until you can talk to me in a clam and loving way.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

No, I wouldn't stay thats a red flag.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

But sometimes we can make the mistake to give them a chance to redeem themselves. If it happens a second time after I have told them not to ever call me out my name like that and that I felt disrespected the first time I am gone with the wind.

mimi051998 · Answer

I hate that word. I had an ex-friend that called me that whenever she didn't get a chance to use me. I dropped a lot of friends since high school because of their selfish ways. If my partner ever called me that, I probably would leave. That word is uncalled for 🤦🏾‍♀️.

t-8900 · Answer

For me yeah because around these parts that word is used jokingly for all sorts of scenarios np. Might be different where you're from. Like an example would be like "B***, I'M FABULOUS" in a joking manner. You act like a feminine woman or gay guy for a sec for like a random joke. Or like when I took a picture of me with 3 female dogs laying with me and posted a header saying "B****s Be Lovin Me". I mean a B**** is literally a female dog, so I'm not lying. XD
It's not something to be taken seriously for ME but maybe it's different for women.

Shizunk · Answer

I don't swear uncontrollably but I know many people who do because nobody is bothered by it. So if you had such harsh rules, I'd want to know in advance before I accidentally say something without meaning it as harsh as you hear it.
I myself don't mind being called bad things if that helps the other person vent and come back calm.
Where I draw the line is physical violence. The first time I get slapped, I still explain how the civilized world works. The second time that happens, the girl is getting dumped right there and then. But it didn't happen and she remembered my stance on that for years and years... So I would say a warning works.

NathanDavis · Answer

I tend to be selective with the people I am with...

also, I've never been that much of a problem to actually push someone to the point of throwing insults like this, I never really had big dramatic and problematic situations with my girlfriends... so I just don't see why any of this would happen

I really don't know well how it would go be if I were actually called a Mitch by a girlfriend of mine I would find it fucking hilarious that it happened and I would just laugh... lol

of course I've had difficult times and arguments and stuff... but never let it escalate to stuff like this

TonyV · Answer

Well I see by your update we won't see things the same, cause it's all about context for me, context is always more important than whatever words they use.
I'm a guy, we give each other shit, it's kinda how you know we care about each other, nicknames like fuckface, dipshit, retard, faggot and of course bitch are pretty common cause we are bids, but I'll throw hands at some motherfucker I don't know if he calls me "buddy" in that satirical mocking tone.

Words don't matter to me, context, tone, and the way they intend for me to interpret the words do.

NewgodX · Answer

The main thing is intention
I think if a person means it then it's bad if a person is using it as slang i won't mind it, regarding people who call you names when they can't use you or take advantage of you,, I would still leave then even if they behave the best in the whole wide blue world coz they can't do anything better than taking advantage of me, asking for help is another thing,
There are also couple of other factors
Without boring you much I would share just one it's called upbringing a guy from a slum might use curses or abuses more often for him it's not that big of a thing and part of his language culture or pattern, example
When children are running in a race one kid is last, a office account would say that kid is really slow he needs to work harder, but the slum guy would say that son of a pig can't run to save his life , he is saying the exact same thing neither he is being intentionally insulting to that kid it's just part of his language pattern

MisteryMe · Answer

I like calling a woman I'm with a bitch in a playful or sexual way, but I'm not in a relationship to feel anger, hurt, and misery. There's plenty of that without voluntarily putting myself in a situation that adds to it. Relationships are supposed to make us happier, and that's not going to happen if you're with someone that doesn't show kindness and consideration.

I can understand that sometimes people get mad. If that happened one time, I'd talk to them about it. If they continued to insist on being hateful and disrespectful, then it needs to end one way or the other.

lightbulb27 · Answer

yes, whatever... people get mad... what is mad... it's a challenge. what does that mean in anger? what does it mean in truth?

I stayed with someone as a friendzone and only complemented her. I should have called her all kinds of crap which would have been better to gain freedom so I could have a life. She was a hoarder (I did call her on that), greedy, selfish, manipulative... a bitch. She didn't complain cause I treated her better than she deserved. One can stay in a sick relationship... that's not good either. In the conflict would be some resolution. In the absence... is death... if it is not meeting ones fulfillment in life

The opposite is also bad, constant pain and fights, I don't like conflict.

Is this true?

BCRanger10 · Answer

My wife would never call me that, nor I her. If, hypothetically however, she did, it would be a very brief "all right, look here..." conversation and then it would never happen again after that.

Anonymous · Answer

Being called a bitch doesn’t insult me in fact I actually laugh and just think really so generic calling someone a bitch don’t you have any better insults because bitch to me is just a lame ass insult maybe I just think this way because my siblings and I have all called each other bitches when we have been fighting so I just tend to laugh at people who call me a bitch I have thick skin so not a lot of things bother me you can even call me a slut and that too I won’t give 2 damns about either my life is too damn short so I’m not going to entertain and allow stupid clowns and their insults to affect me

ItsMeElliana · Answer

well. depends on the context, and like the tone of it. but to me nope, its pretty disrespectful and i wouldn't like people saying bad words in the first place, thats just a huge turn off.

ZIMMYBEE90 · Answer

I wouldn't be able to do it. Words of affirmation is my love language and a man I love calling me a b-word would destroy my sense of safety and value to him. I would forgive cheating before I forgave that.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

lmao it is practically a pet name for each other here. My wife curses like a sailor so it doesn't even bother me in the slightest. Her favorite term for me is brat though. I call her my angry little oompa loompa.

We are kinda mean verbally to one another but it is completely done out of love and not animosity so it's fine. Even if it was said to me cruelly, well, so what? Only thing she could really say that would REALLY affect me is if she ever said she doesn't love me anymore.

Nomina · Answer

Yes, I can stay with them. I don't have an issue with the word that way. It can be playful... my sisters and I playfully call each other bitch from time to time.
Same with a guy. It can be playful. If it's in the context of calling out my behavior, it may sting but he may have a point, I'm willing to hear it out. And I haven't hesitated in the past calling a guy an asshole when he was being one.

I can have a filthy mouth, so it doesn't bother me that much.

Mark987 · Answer

I don't any man should call a woman that. It also depends the scenario? what she did for him to call her that? or did just say it like that? I hate when both genders use words like that just to be " cool" or no reason

Anonymous · Answer

Sorry I can't answer this without context. I mean this is something my oldest sister would have called her husband. And you would judge her harshly if you didn't know her. She was a kidney transplant 2 times. So you can understand she didn't feel well most the time. She was needy, flaky, and exasperating at times. But she also had the heart of a lion. If I was going into battle there's no one I would want at my side more than her. She would give you the shirt off her back.
I'm just saying this so you get a full feel of who she was. In her last 5 years. When she didn't feel well she took it out on her husband. Yet her husband would be the first to say she didn't mean it.

Screenwriter · Answer

It IS according to HOW he calls you bitch.

I know a friend and I call each other names for fun. "BIIIITCH, you MUST be kidding! BITCH, are you sitting down, I got some gossip!"

But I've never had a man call me a 'bitch" in anger, or any other derogative. "Bitch, you be crazy..." is the only way I've ever heard that word used in conversation about or with me.

If your partner called you “Bit**”, would you stay with them?

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