What are your six Must-Have Traits in an ideal partner and your six Dealbreakers?

[MCheetah]

What 6 things do you require in someone to be your "one and only"? And what 6 things would make a chance of you being with them an impossibility? If you have less than 6, then that's okay, but please don't exceed six. You can include a picture of what your ideal partner looks like, too.

My Six Must-Haves:
1. A kind, warm, loving soul
2. Faithful & loyal
3. Can regularly hold intelligent conversation
4. Classy & respectful
5. Hard working with mental endurance
6. Heterosexual biological female

My Six Dealbreakers:
1. Feminist, far-left, or woke
2. Bisexual/queer (a lesbian)
3. Polyamorous, not single, or the "open relationship" type (an adulterer; unfaithful)
4. Abusive in any way, physical or verbally (a bitch)
5. Transgender (male)
6. Has an OnlyFans and/or promotes lewd content on the internet

One possibility of what she might look like (I adore redheads!)

[Diodoro]

Must Haves:
1. Kind
2. Caring
3. Playful
4. Adventurous
5. Sexually experimental (90% the case if a girl is actually Adventurous, but nonetheless.)
6. Routine/Habit in place to stay in shape.

Deal breakers:
1. If she can't trust me
2. If I can't trust her
3. Lack of Communication, more specifically if she's so defensive that I have to go through layer after layer to even begin to talk about the issue.
4. Doesn't take responsibility for her life situation/including taking partial blame for our problems. If she tries to put all blame on me. Nope
5. Uses sex as a weapon, silent treatment, or other emotional manipulative behaviors
6. Repeat offenses of the above.

I can be understanding enough to know no one is perfect and that just doing a dealbreaker one time may not be grounds to just end it. But if I clearly state and uphold my boundaries. She clearly knows them and crosses them anyways, or consistently does. It's done.

If it's something like not being trusting of me. I'm not gonna just dump her over one time. But if it becomes a problem in the relationship it's over. a lot of girls will say a guy needs to understand her past for why she has trust issues as if that's reason for a guy to stick around to accept and put up with it.

It's not. I can be understanding... if you're working on it actively. But if you're not and just kinda expecting me to deal with your BS. Na not happening.

[Diodoro]

🙌🙌

[TheSpaceGnome]

Must haves:
1. Is a scientifically minded atheist.
2. Loyal, sweet, empathetic, bubbly, kind, horny, and monogamous.
3. Very creative, dedicated, and multitalented, specifically drawing, composing, writing, and gaming.
4. Is a problem solver/can hold an intelligent conversation.
5. Has my hobbies and interests (hardcore gaming, sci-fi, fantasy, cartoons/anime, dinosaurs, bugs, robots, aliens, paleontology, astronomy, tech, etc.)
6. Is 100% biologically female.

Dealbreakers:
1. Is religious or spritual, polyamorous, or is anything else that is the opposite of the must haves.
2. Has any STDs or other transmittable infections.
3. Smokes, drinks, or does any other drugs.
4. Is flat chested, obese, or has masculine shapes/features or manly amounts of body hair.
5. Is a prude, doesn't swear, can't handle reality, gets offended by everything, is anti gun, promotes totalitarian thinking, is a feminist or other swj, or is otherwise pro censorship/controlling.
6. Has or wants kids, or hates cats (or pets in general).

[MCheetah]

That's not exactly six and six, but okay.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I cheated a bit and added more, just 6 wouldn't cut it.

[Sawyerblu]

The definition of feminist is someone, not just women, who believes women are equal, so technically a man who believes women are equal and deserve equal rights is a feminist as well.


However, I understand where you’re coming from as the word feminist has been ruined by women putting men down and valuing women more than men. I personally do not consider myself a “feminist” by today’s standards as I DO see us as equals.


My six must haves are similar to yours:


1. Kind, loving, and thoughtful
2. Intelligent and wise
3. Loyal and honest
4. Great sense of humor
5. Good balance of active and relaxed (I need someone who will work out with me and then play video games with me/watch movies/etc)
6. Passionate, both in life and in bed ;-)


Luckily, my boyfriend checks off all of these plus more! Some others I have on my list are driven, uplifting, down to earth, unique (I get bored easily but there has not been a day that I have ever been bored when I’m with my boyfriend), open minded, and spiritual understanding. I need someone who is on the same page as me.

[Lliam]

I'm on the same page.

[MCheetah]

@Sawyerblu
No, that's literally not what a feminist is, nor does feminism have a monopoly on respecting women, and I think I said this to you a while ago. I don't want a talentless, insecure, bitter, man-hating (and attractive-woman-hating) woman with a sh*tty personality that makes up non-problems to complain about, so I don't want a feminist. If she calls herself a "feminist," I want nothing to do with her. She can go bitch at men and "the patriarchy" elsewhere. Feminism has literally always been anti-male; look up what Susan B. Anthony and Millicent Fawcett thought of men in 1848.



I do treat women as equals too, but in my experience, most women don't actually want that. Like, if you don't pay for a woman on a date, or don't kiss her ass and tell her the truth bluntly (like most men do to most other men), or if a woman hits a man and the man hits her back with equal force, or if you tell her she doesn't get maternity leave or "period pay," or if you suggest women shouldn't have voting rights without military conscription like men have. You know; actual social equality?

The rest is good and I agree with you. Those all sound like good traits in a partner. I actually fit five out of these six. I only doubt number 1 because people annoy me easily, but I am at least respectful to most.

[Sawyerblu]

I see your point, I guess I just have the definition of what it should mean haha.

Personally, I don’t like men paying for dates all the time. My boyfriend and I are very equal on that, he buys one meal, I buy the next so it’s fair. Especially because we’ve been in a relationship so long, it wouldn’t be fair to the person who’s paying every single time. When one of us is low on money we cover the other person, even if it’s their turn, because it’s not about the money, it’s about doing things together.

To be fair, most women can not hit as hard as men, but receiving the equal amount of force seems fair to me. I’ve never been punched and hope not to be, lol.

I get you on the annoying part, people annoy me too, but I would rather not put out negative energy by killing them with kindness haha

[Lliam]

I still agree with Sawyerblu's interpretation of healthy feminism versus the way certain radicals have taken if off the rails.
I've read the complete (long!) list of state and national laws that oppressed women as second class citizens. Actually, not even citizens. In some ways, those laws were more oppressive than racial segregation. And some of them persisted through the 1970s.

When I entered high school in 1969, I met bright, informed girls who were supporting "women's lib" and protesting against unfair rules, just as they were protesting in support of the civil rights efforts.

Believe me, those girls were in no way "man haters". Quite the opposite. They just wanted equal rights.

I think women's liberation efforts were "feminism". But, as with almost every movement, there were some psychos who got a lot of publicity as feminist representatives. But that's like saying that the BLM agenda represents all blacks, or that Zionism represents all Jews.

I am a huge supporter of "women's lib" but not of the few radical, bitter, militant misandrist mutants who hijacked the word feminism.

[Sawyerblu]

Exactly! It’s unfortunate that extremists are able to molest an idea and transform something positive into something negative. That goes for every aspect in life. There seems to be an excess of low hanging fruit and small minded people. Doesn’t help that those the masses look up to are spreading misinformation and people accept it as truth.

[Lliam]

So true, Sawyerblu, and it's the extremists (many of them simply trying to get rich through celebrity) who get media attention, which the ignorant masses take seriously. I even think some of those extremists are agent provocateurs or planned opposition against the movements they claim to support.

[Lliam]

"Controlled opposition" was the term I was searching for. It's a common practice.

[DizzyDesii]

Great Question
Must Haves— Goofy Sense of humor, Wants marriage/kids sometime before age 30, Within 3 year age gap, Straight/male-born, Respectful, Strong work ethic
Dealbreakers— doesn't Believe in God, Smokes, Drinks daily/weekly, can't wait patiently til im ready for sex, Has more than a handful or sexual partners, Plays videogames for hours daily

[DizzyDesii]

I wanted to say 5’7-6’3 but ran out of room

[DizzyDesii]

Cute face is a must have too

[DizzyDesii]

Thanks for mho

[Diodoro]

Damn, call me out by name why don't you lmaoooo

[DizzyDesii]

@Diodoro on which part?

[Diodoro]

Lol mostly kidding.

[MCheetah]

@DizzyDesii
He's saying he has all your Must Haves. As if you're describing him.

[HighValue]

I think this sums up most of what I want:

18 to 30 (over 30 equals no interest), hasn't done any hook ups or ONS, doesn't do any drugs (no weed either), doesn't drink alcohol or drinks very rarely and is willing to quit, doesn't smoke, no kids from past relationships, but does want some with the right person, no contact with any ex, once in a relationship won't be posting revealing and flirty pictures online for attention, will be very affectionate with me and she initiates the affection sometimes too, doesn't have an immoral job or one that requires her to spend multiple days away from home (traveling), no tattoos or very few (each tattoo makes her less attractive to me), will exercise every week just like I will to stay healthy and in shape for long term, is not hypocritical. (Yes, I realize I probably won't find anyone that meets this because realistically there probably isn't anyone even nearly as good for a relationship as I am. (prove me wrong by being the good woman I want)

[FinalFantasyBro]

My list of must-have and deal breaker when it comes to finding the perfect girl is as follow.

Must-have

1. Great Tits and Great Ass
2. Kind Hearted
3. Not hateful person (I don't want to date a girl who is either racist or homophobic or sexist.)
4. Pretty
5. Qualities that she has besides looks
6. Intelligent

Deal Breaker

1. Mean
2. Dumb
3. Shallowness
4. Either an sjw nutjob or a red neck bitch who is super racist.
5. Not fun like at all (That doesn't fly with me, I want to do fun shit with my girl.)
6. Cheating on each other (I don't want to cheat on her, and I don't want her to cheat on me either.)

[Dchrls78104]

My "one and only" MUST:
1. Be a natural born and fully heterosexual adult female.
2. Be a practising Christian.
3. Be intelligent and understanding.
4. Be faithful, honest, loyal, straightforward, and transparent.
5. Be someone I can listen to and talk to about what means the most to me (in other words, compatible).
6. Be a respectful and law abiding citizen.
My "one and only" MUST NOT:
1. Smoke, drink, or use drugs.
2. Abuse or try to control or manipulate me in any way or use profanity.
3. Mix with gays, lesbians, or criminals or have same as close associates.
4. Be a racist or feminist or support abortion.
5. Tattoo or pierce her body or wear thongs.
6. Be a grieving widow, recent divorcee, or single mother; or already have an SO or an ex she isn't over.

[TheUniqueOne96]

Standards:

At least decent looking without makeup
Decent hygiene, at least
Loves me/wants to be with me
Nice person
Polite
Somewhat smart at least

Dealbreakers:

Alcoholic/Druggie or can't behave civilized when doing so
Bigot
Can't control their anger
Has or wants children
Lacks empathy
Unloyal

[ChiPaPa]

Must haves: 1. Good communicator2. Intimate3. Commitment4. Fun5. Willing to put the work in6. Adventurous. Deal breakers:1. Disloyalty2. Abusive3. Flakey4. Lack of money management skills5. Bigotry6. Substance abuse

[pink_and_inlove]

1. Loyal 2. Affectionate 3. Sweet 4. Caring 5. Hard working 6. Chill. Deal breakers :1. Bad hygiene 2. Rude 3. Brings me down 4. judgmental 5. Cheater 6. Drinker or smoker.

[Daniela1982]

You are asking for the world. Would you compromise any? I mean no one is perfect.

[MCheetah]

Really? Seems pretty reasonable to me. I didn't even put in physical criteria for mine. Would should I compromise on?

And what are your answers to this question?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Typically people list specific personality traits that, they themselves also have, because commonalities make relationships last, and the few disimilar things are usually commonly found opposing gender traits.

And yet for some reason, people always say "but no one's like that, shouldn't you compromise?", despite tons of people being just like that.

Why?

[pink_and_inlove]

Yeah the stuff he wrote was pretty reasonable I don’t know why you’re saying that

[Daniela1982]

@pink_and_inlove Well when there is no compromise the dating pool will be a lot smaller for you and the possibility of you being by yourself is greater. Also how long do you wait for the one that checks all the boxes before you wind up compromising anyway?

[MCheetah]

@Daniela1982
Which one of these dealbreakers applies to you, and why do you think is too unreasonable?

[MCheetah]

*it's too unreasonable

[Dchrls78104]

@pink_and_inlove I happen to agree with you. What he seeks should be the bare minimum; why should he compromise or settle for anything less?

[Pandupillu]

He should be ambitious ( not too much though)
Taller than meLoyal and caringHardworkingRespectful Sensible and sensitive Slight dominatingDeal breakers would beSmoking 🚬 and drinkingTrying to control me too muchDisrespectful

[Pillarofhell]

good luck bro