I once knew a 'poly' guy, and he was quite happy with the whole situation. One main partner, one side partner, and hookups from tinder etc. I sat with him and discussed the whole thing, with the side partner there talking too, and everything seemed fine (apart from his slightly alarming enthusiasm for sadism, though she said she liked it, so... OK.).
EXCEPT that when the side partner drove me to the station, she told me she had not been honest in response to my questions, and that secretly she did wish she had him all to herself. That the arrangement wasn't a bed of roses after all, but that she didn't see exclusivity ever happening, so she felt like her only option to be with him was like this.
Basically, that I was right in my assumptions and questions about jealousy and heartbreak etc. And that I should not do this to people myself, thinking they'd be fine with it, when really they would not.
Not for everyone. We're in the Lifestyle but we don't have an open marriage except for when the wife goes out with her girlfriends on a girl's only night out.
Definitely not my thing, but that's cool if it works for you.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Being honest I think an open relationship would be the only way I could be happy in a relationship but I've been with my girlfriend too long now to break up with her over something like this and she would never go for it
The point, in most cases, is having someone that you love, but acknowledging that you need more to satisfy yourself or your partner. It can be sexual, as described above, or it can be emotional. In either case, the additional relationships fill in a gap, satisfying a need that your partner agrees they are unable to fulfill.
The two still want to be together, they are just open and honest about their own limitations. In my opinion, an open relationship that withstands the test of time is, by far, the strongest relationship anyone could possibly have.
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i think they're fucked up
that only porno stars and porn amatuers do them, to claim they're "allowed to fuck people" but still be in a relationship
GROW UP
All good until kids are involved I imagine.
Until you want those, probably fine.
Actually, I should add:
I once knew a 'poly' guy, and he was quite happy with the whole situation. One main partner, one side partner, and hookups from tinder etc. I sat with him and discussed the whole thing, with the side partner there talking too, and everything seemed fine (apart from his slightly alarming enthusiasm for sadism, though she said she liked it, so... OK.).
EXCEPT that when the side partner drove me to the station, she told me she had not been honest in response to my questions, and that secretly she did wish she had him all to herself. That the arrangement wasn't a bed of roses after all, but that she didn't see exclusivity ever happening, so she felt like her only option to be with him was like this.
Basically, that I was right in my assumptions and questions about jealousy and heartbreak etc. And that I should not do this to people myself, thinking they'd be fine with it, when really they would not.
An invitation to misery and STDs. I don't participate and walk the minute it comes up
If it’s a girl in it, I think she loves dick too much to have only one.
And if it’s a guy he loves pussy too much to only have one
Not even in dreams, i'll be loyal to the person that i love and marriage means one man and one woman united together under the blessing of god...
As long as all sides involved know exactly what they are in for, who are we or anyone to take all your freedoms away!
Not for everyone. We're in the Lifestyle but we don't have an open marriage except for when the wife goes out with her girlfriends on a girl's only night out.
i can't get my head around ever being in an open relationship
If it works for everyone then , great. I think most of the time somebody always gets the shaft.
Definitely not my thing, but that's cool if it works for you.
Being honest I think an open relationship would be the only way I could be happy in a relationship but I've been with my girlfriend too long now to break up with her over something like this and she would never go for it
Ya, it's cool... but don't put your heart and soul... end the end, there's 1 winner and 2 fools... remember it's about u
It’s not for me but there is nothing wrong with it. Who cares how other people live their relationship
Bullshit. Only happens when it is half interest, like amongst communists
Open to that idea since I wanna try FFFMFF, FFMFF, FMF, FFMF someday
Haha who doesn't. Not sure how likely that is to happen though...
Serving mostly the ones that isn't loyal at their core (heart)..
It can be healthy I plan on doing a poly relationship whole working on myself since I don't truest people anymore.
Probably better to work on the trust thing first...
not really nothing wrong with being careful around people when dating or not being blinded by love. You gotta pay attention to red flags period
Yeah, ok, there may be nuance involved.
Just don't start the date, poly or otherwise, by declaring that 'I don't trust people anymore' haha.
Even if it works, they'll be the wrong type of person haha...
Not a relationship and never will be considered as. Just do the world a favor and stay single and do that shit. It's the same.
Not my thing at all. Im too monogamous for it
I think if you're going to be in an open relationship there's no point in being in a relationship at all.
The point, in most cases, is having someone that you love, but acknowledging that you need more to satisfy yourself or your partner. It can be sexual, as described above, or it can be emotional. In either case, the additional relationships fill in a gap, satisfying a need that your partner agrees they are unable to fulfill.
The two still want to be together, they are just open and honest about their own limitations. In my opinion, an open relationship that withstands the test of time is, by far, the strongest relationship anyone could possibly have.
@boltfox20 I see the points you're making. But b I still disagree. Sorry.